by Alec, Joyce
Daniel made to speak, only for Miss Martin to rise to her feet and, visibly trembling, come a little closer to both Daniel and Miss Smallwood.
“I should tell you the truth from the very beginning,” she said, her voice low and yet with a thread of determination running through it. “It is as Lord Williamson has said. He and I are acquainted, and yes, we are cousins. And, as he has said, I begged him to remove himself from my life for I could no longer bear to be in either his house or his company.”
Moved by his cousin’s tremulous voice and the pain burning in her eyes, Daniel took a step towards her, putting one hand out to her, but Miss Martin shook her head sharply, forcing him to step back. Questions began to burn in his mind, the very same questions that had been there from the first. What had he done—or did she think he had done—that had turned her away from him in such a manner?
“Please,” Miss Smallwood said, making him turn towards her. “Allow Miss Martin to speak. It is clear that she wishes to say a good deal and I fear that interruption will only hinder our understanding further.” Her eyes were clear now, her voice a little stronger, and once again, Daniel was reminded of just how strong a character Miss Smallwood could display. A newfound trait, she had said, but apparently one that was becoming an integral part of her.
“Of course.” He inclined his head and sat down at once in a chair near to Miss Smallwood, whilst Lord Townend took another one, clearly intrigued. Seeing them all seated, Miss Martin drew in one long, shaking breath, set her shoulders, and closed her eyes.
“I know, Miss Smallwood, that you were surprised at my youthfulness when I first came to you as your companion,” she began, Miss Smallwood leaning forward in her chair as if it would help her not to miss a single word that was being said. “There is reason for that.” She paused and opened her eyes. “My parents had been unable to take me to London for the Season as they were both rather unwell, and therefore, I had been required to stay at home.” Again, she took in a long breath, tears glistening in her eyes. “My mother passed away soon afterwards and my father then followed. I had to endure my mourning period, which took yet more Seasons from me—although I was not sorry to miss them due to my grief. Thereafter,” she gestured towards Daniel, “I was left to my charge, Lord Williamson, who was, and still is, my first cousin.”
Daniel saw Miss Smallwood turn her gaze to his, her eyes rounding.
“I did, of course, insist that Miss Martin enjoy a Season in London,” he said hastily, fearing that Miss Smallwood might believe that he had been the one to force Miss Martin into becoming a companion. “We were in London and, from my point of view, things went exceptionally well.” He saw Miss Smallwood give a tiny nod, although Miss Martin said nothing. “There were a good few young men interested in furthering their acquaintance with Christina.”
“But only one that I had any true interest in,” Miss Martin interrupted, her voice shaking badly now as she dropped her head. “One gentleman in particular, one that I thought you would accept.”
Something began to creep into the edges of Daniel’s mind as he looked at his cousin and thought back to the time when she had been making her way through society, when she had been dancing and conversing and laughing with a brightness and a happiness that he had been so glad to see in her. The sorrow that must have been in her heart over the death of both her parents was a pain that he had not thought he would ever be able to understand, and then to see her smiling and enjoying her Season had brought a happiness to his own heart. It had made it all the worse when he had seen how it had been torn away, how she had turned from it all and begged him to allow her to be a companion and nothing more.
Was it because she had been heartbroken over a gentleman that she had come to care for? He had not known of it.
“I did not realize that you had an affection for someone within your heart, Christina,” he told her softly, leaning forward in his chair and trying to get her to look up at him. “Why did you not say?”
Much to his surprise, Miss Martin’s head shot up, her cheeks coloring as her eyes narrowed suddenly. “You were fully aware of the gentleman, Williamson!” she exclaimed, reaching out one hand and pointing at him. “Do not pretend that it is not so!”
Daniel’s mouth fell open at the vehemence in her voice and the fury in her eyes. He had no understanding of what she meant and wanted to protest, but the shock of her anger caught his words and tugged them away.
“I do not think that Lord Williamson knows, in fact, whom you speak of, Miss Martin.” Miss Smallwood glanced from Daniel to her companion and then back again, her eyes betraying a small measure of understanding and, within that, sympathy for both Miss Martin and himself. “Might I ask you to speak of it a little more?” She returned her gaze to Miss Martin, a small, encouraging smile on her face. “Please.”
Miss Martin closed her eyes, fresh tears running down her cheeks. “I heard you refuse him, Williamson. He had told me that he wished to seek your approval before anything further occurred, and yet, when the time came for him to do so, you turned him away.” Daniel could almost feel her pain, hearing her ragged gasps as she fought to keep her composure. “You told him that you were sorry, but you did not think him suitable.” Her eyes opened, piercing his heart like a small, sharp dagger. “How could you do such a thing?”
Daniel’s mind filled with the memory of that day and shock once more overwhelmed his senses. Yes, he had refused a gentleman who had come to ask him if he might court Miss Martin, but it had not been someone he had ever thought she would care for. And yet, now, he realized, it might very well have been the case that they both had an affection for each other which he had not understood.
“Christina.”
Before Daniel could speak, Lord Townend spoke up. Turning his head, Daniel was utterly astonished to see the sheer desperation etched into every line of Lord Townend’s expression, for his eyes were a little wider than before, his gaze fixed upon Miss Martin and his hands clutching the arms of his chair as though he were required to keep a hold of them for some reason.
“No, Christina. It was not I.”
A gasp of shock ripped from Miss Martin’s throat, one hand covering her mouth as Daniel looked from one to the next.
“I had every intention of doing so, but I did not,” Lord Townend continued hoarsely. “I should have done, I know, but the truth is, I was hesitant, overwhelmed with the emotions in my heart and trying to understand them for what they were.” He shook his head, a groan escaping him as he put his head in his hands. “I understand now why you have turned from us both, but you are mistaken, Christina. I did not go to your cousin to seek permission. I should have done, but I did not.”
“No,” Miss Martin whispered, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed a deep red as she stared back at Lord Townend. “No, it cannot be. I thought it was… I was so certain that it was…” Closing her eyes, she let out her breath slowly, her hands trembling as she clasped them together in her lap.
“You have been under a misapprehension,” Daniel said slowly, still trying to work things out in his own mind. “It was not Lord Townend who spoke to me, but rather Lord Montague, Christina.”
Miss Smallwood jerked in her chair. “Lord Montague?”
“Indeed.” He sighed and rubbed at his forehead, feeling a dull ache beginning to form within it. “Lord Montague came to me to seek my permission to court my cousin. Being her guardian and knowing Lord Montague’s reputation, I had no hesitation in refusing him.” Recalling the gentleman’s anger, he shook his head. “I did not think him suitable, but now, mayhap, I wonder if he had a true affection for you, Christina.” Turning his attention back to his cousin, he spread out his hands. “I have never sought to do you wrong. I have only ever sought your good.”
Miss Smallwood shook her head, got to her feet, and then, after a moment, made her way to where Miss Martin now sat on a small couch. Taking a seat next to her, she reached out and took one of Miss Martin’s hand, making her companion burst i
nto yet another flood of tears. Miss Smallwood smiled gently in compassion and understanding, handing the lady her handkerchief with her free hand.
“I am sorry for the torment you must have been through these last few years,” Daniel heard her say to Miss Martin. “You believed that your cousin refused Lord Townend and in the midst of your sorrow and upset, you thought to escape from this life by any means you could, is that not so? You asked to be a companion, you begged your cousin to find you a suitable situation and to never interfere with your life in any way again.”
“And I agreed,” Daniel admitted, throwing a glance towards Lord Townend and seeing how he stared at Miss Martin in utter shock, his face pale and wretched. “I could not understand the grief that filled you, nor the anger that seemed to burn in your every word, and the only way I could seem to relieve some of your torment was to agree to what you asked.”
Miss Martin’s shoulders shook as she dabbed at her eyes, looking towards Lord Townend. “I loved him,” she wept, as Lord Townend closed his eyes tightly. “I could not bear to be a part of society where I was to be kept from the one gentleman I cared for, and so I determined to leave it. I have held such an anger towards you, Williamson, that to know I was mistaken in it is now almost too much to bear.”
Daniel opened his mouth to reassure her, to tell her that he held her no ill will and that he could understand where such a pain had come from, only for Lord Townend to get to his feet suddenly. He watched in astonishment as his friend strode towards Miss Martin, falling on his knees directly in front of her and reaching to take her hands. Miss Smallwood rose at once in a flurry of skirts, her cheeks a little red as she moved away, allowing Lord Townend the space he needed to speak openly.
“I have never lost the love for you that came into my heart when we first met,” he told Miss Martin, who was still sobbing desperately. “It has been within me for so long, wound about with confusion and pain and sorrow. I did not know what to do or what to think, for I feared that you had turned your back on me and did not understand the reasons why.” He spoke with such evident compassion that Daniel looked away, feeling as though he should give his friend and his cousin the space to speak without his interference. Miss Smallwood was watching them both with her hands clasped together, her fingers touching her mouth. Tears were glistening in her eyes, but a small smile played across her lips. His own heart lifted, reminding him of everything he felt for this lady. The time was not at hand when he could speak openly to her, but he had every intention of doing so. Lord Townend would not be the only one to speak of the love that dwelt within his heart.
“I am sorry for what I did,” he heard Miss Martin say, as Miss Smallwood’s gaze met his own, her eyes bright. “I thought you had been refused and I could not bear to even speak to you again, knowing that I was to be kept apart from you. And now, so much time has passed—”
“And yet my feelings have remained the same,” Lord Townend interrupted, gripping Miss Martin’s hands. “Say that you will marry me, Christina. Say that you will bring my happiness to its joyous fulfilment. Promise me that you will be mine for the rest of my days, so that this dark time might become nothing more than a shadow in our memories.”
Daniel looked back to his cousin, seeing how she glanced up at him. He nodded at once, his own heart beginning to ache with an understanding of all that she had gone through, dealing with her pain and sorrow alone. He got up and drew near to Miss Smallwood, and together, they walked towards the window, looking out over it so that the couple might have a few moments alone.
“Yes,” he heard Miss Martin whisper. “Of course I will marry you, Townend. You know that my heart has always belonged to you.”
Beside him, Daniel saw Miss Smallwood wipe at her eyes with trembling fingers, her handkerchief still in Miss Martin’s possession. Quickly pulling out his own, he handed it to her and she accepted it gratefully, giving him a watery smile. Wishing that he could do more, he pressed her free hand for a moment, seeing how she leaned towards him as though eager to go into his embrace, only to pull herself back again. This was Miss Martin and Lord Townend’s moment, he knew, and that was something that both he and Miss Smallwood did not want to interrupt. But by this week’s end, Daniel determined that he would speak to Miss Smallwood of all that he felt, in the hope that she might accept him in the very same way that Miss Martin had accepted Lord Townend: without hesitation, without restraint, and speaking true words of love.
15
Louisa drew in a long breath and walked quickly into Lord Townend’s drawing room. This little soiree had more than one purpose to it, but as yet, she was not to give anything away.
Her eyes searched each and every dark corner, seeking out the one gentleman that she knew would be present, but she did not see him. Her heart quickened as she pressed her hands tightly together, praying that this evening would allow Lord Williamson to have his good name restored.
“Thank you for coming, Miss Smallwood.”
Lord Townend was beside her in a moment, not failing in his duties as host as he bowed in front of her, although she noted how his gaze lingered on Miss Martin, who was still playing the part of companion. Louisa smiled and nodded, her heart filled with happiness for them both.
“Thank you for your kind invitation, Lord Townend,” she replied with a quick bob of a curtsy, glancing about her to ensure that no one could overhear their conversation. “Has he arrived as yet?”
Lord Townend shook his head, his expression a little troubled. “Not as yet, Miss Smallwood, but I am certain he shall do once he is ready. Lord Montague, however, has joined us already. As has Lord Mercer.”
A sense of nervousness settled about Louisa’s heart although she did not betray this to either Lord Townend or to Miss Martin. Instead, she simply nodded and tried to smile, not wanting to show any sort of anxiety.
“Thank you, Lord Townend,” Miss Martin murmured, her eyes fixed upon her betrothed. “I am certain this evening shall bring us the conclusion we all hope for.”
“I am sure it will,” Lord Townend agreed, a smile spreading across his face. “I look forward to being able to tell all of society that I am no longer a bachelor but rather betrothed to the one lady I have loved for such a long time.”
Louisa smiled at how Miss Martin dropped her gaze, seeing her blush and smile at the same time. However, as she did so, she saw that behind Miss Martin, there came Lord Montague, advancing towards them with a dedicated expression on his face. Placing one hand on Lord Townend’s arm, she cleared her throat gently, reminding him that now was not the time for such expressions, giving a slight jerk of her head in the direction from which Lord Montague was advancing.
“If you will excuse me, Lord Townend, I have just seen someone that I must greet,” she said, dropping her hand and making to move away. “Good evening.”
“Good evening,” Lord Townend replied, back to his usual formality and not so much as glancing in Miss Martin’s direction. Clearing his throat, he turned to greet Lord Montague, allowing Louisa to escape without difficulty.
“I did not think that Lord Montague ever had such feelings for me that he would go after Lord Williamson,” Miss Martin murmured, once they had made their way to a quieter part of the room. “I feel truly terrible for my part in this.”
Louisa shook her head. “You have no reason to feel any such guilt,” she told Miss Martin firmly. “You did not know of Lord Montague’s determination to court you and from what I understand, you quite agree with Lord Williamson’s determination to refuse him.”
Miss Martin nodded quickly. “I would not have wanted to court Lord Montague,” she admitted. “I am glad that my cousin refused him, even though I did not know it was he that he spoke to at the time.”
“And yet,” Louisa added softly, her gaze fixed on Lord Townend and Lord Montague as they spoke, “Lord Montague must truly have cared for you in one way or the other. Not that I feel he would have been willing to give up his many flirtations and the like, no m
atter how much he felt, but to now attempt to bring down Lord Williamson’s reputation in such a way speaks of a long-held anger over his refusal.”
Miss Martin nodded slowly, her expression forlorn. “I believe Lord Montague has been waiting for some time, with the sole intention of ensuring that Lord Williamson is robbed of the happiness that Montague believes should have been his.” She sighed and looked at Louisa. “It is only because Lord Williamson has come to care for you that he has decided to act. I am sorry for that, Miss Smallwood.”
“Miss Martin, please,” Louisa replied warmly. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Christina.”
Louisa laughed softly. “Christina. You have nothing to apologize for. You did not engineer this. You have had nothing to do with it, aside from trying to keep me from Lord Williamson.” She shrugged, not wanting Miss Martin to feel any further guilt. “It will all work out in the end, I am quite certain, and, if I may say, I am glad that it has brought a happiness to both yourself and Lord Townend that should have been there from the very beginning.”
Miss Martin blushed. “I thank you,” she replied solemnly. “It is more wonderous than I could have ever hoped for.”
“And it is as Lord Townend said,” Louisa added, smiling at Miss Martin. “Do not look back and allow this shadow to linger in your future happiness. You will have a joyous future together, I am quite certain of it, and I must hope that, in the same way that Lord Townend and Lord Williamson are fast friends, we might become so also.”
Miss Martin’s eyes glistened with tears as she nodded, her smile wobbling just a little. Were it not for the fact that they were in Lord Townend’s drawing room and about to enjoy a soiree of sorts, Louisa would have hugged her companion tightly, feeling the strain and confusion of the last few weeks fading away completely.