by Alec, Joyce
“Then I shall stay here until you have fallen into a deep sleep and can finally slumber peacefully,” he said with determination. “Have no fear, Miss Preston. You are not alone.” And, so saying, he picked up the book with his free hand and, unwilling to let go of Miss Preston’s hand, managed to maneuver it so that the first page was open for him. Beginning to read aloud, he glanced towards her and saw her expression grow peaceful, the lines of worry fading from her face. Feeling a good deal more content than before, he continued to let the words drift from his mouth for some minutes, feeling her hand relax in his until, finally, her head slipped to one side as she was wrapped in the comforting arms of sleep.
7
A few days later, Henrietta was well enough to wash, dress, and break her fast in her room. Thereafter, she rested for a short time and then made her way to the library to read. When it came time for luncheon, she again made to approach the dining room, wondering if there was anyone else in the house at all. It had been very quiet this morning and she had not seen any sign of Lord Carrick.
Putting one hand to her head, Henrietta paused for a moment until the small stab of pain disappeared. Her head still ached from time to time, but it certainly was not as bad as it had been before. The tiredness and weakness had long since left her, hastened by the fact that Lord Carrick had come to read to her each evening, although they had met in the library rather than in her bedchamber. This was, she felt, a good deal more proper and certainly was helped by the presence of her maid with her at all times. It was, she knew, quite improper for her to be residing under Lord Carrick’s roof without either her mother, a relative, or another companion with her, but such was her situation that there was very little else for her to do. Her heart was, she discovered, becoming quite inclined towards Lord Carrick, even though she knew she was utterly foolish to feel that way. Her consideration of him knew no bounds, for he was more wonderful a gentleman than any she had met before. His kindness towards her, his consideration and his determination to come to her aid overwhelmed her. How could she protect her heart when he had such a fine character and such generosity of spirit?
Sighing inwardly, she pushed open the door to the dining room somewhat cautiously, not quite certain whom she would discover within. This house, whilst welcoming, was certainly still rather unknown to her and though Lord Carrick had told her of his brother, she had never met the gentleman and did not know if he would be residing in the house also.
“Oh.”
A surprising sense of relief swamped her as she saw the room was entirely empty. Stepping inside and glad that her maid would soon follow so that she would not be alone should Lord Carrick come to join her, Henrietta picked up her plate and helped herself to some of the delicacies that were waiting for her. The tea was, she decided, quite excellent, for taking a sip of it refreshed her entirely. Her heart settled into a calm rhythm as she began to eat, feeling a good deal more relieved than she had at the first.
Chewing carefully, Henrietta let her mind fill once more with the questions that had dogged her for so many days. Where was her mother? Why had she left London? The more Henrietta thought of it, the more she realized that her mother must have been present in London before quitting it to return to the estate, for the staff would not simply have packed up the house and left, as they had apparently done. They would have needed to have been given direction by someone—and that someone would have been Henrietta’s mother. Did Lady Cuthbert think that Henrietta was in danger? Had she, like Henrietta, been ordered to do something or go somewhere solely to protect Henrietta’s life? Henrietta presumed that the rubies she had given in exchange for her mother’s safety had been taken by the perpetrators and mayhap, in seeing how easily they had managed to procure them, they had then decided to blackmail Lady Cuthbert also. Mayhap she had returned to the estate so that she might fetch more jewels.
Henrietta shuddered. Those who were behind this wicked scheme might think that she, Henrietta, was deceased and were blackmailing her mother with the promise that Henrietta would be kept safe when, in fact, they thought her already gone from this world. Her heart ached. She could not imagine what her poor mother was feeling or what her father would think. All she could do was pray that their spirits would not be too distressed.
A sudden flurry of voices came along the hallway as Henrietta finished eating. She tensed immediately, wondering who it was that was approaching the dining room. Was it Lord Carrick? She had not seen him at all this morning and the maid had made no mention of him being in the house. It was not as though Henrietta missed his presence but rather that she found herself very aware of him whenever he stepped into the same room as she. Her tension mounted as she settled her hands in her lap, trying to appear quite calm as she looked toward the door, ready and prepared to rise and curtsy to whoever appeared.
The door flew open and a rather excited voice began to fill the room—a voice she did not recognize. Trying to keep calm, she waited while two gentlemen walked into the room, the second being Lord Carrick. He was busy watching the first gentleman, who was gesticulating furiously. Glancing into the room, Lord Carrick started in surprise, then bowed quickly to cover his astonishment.
“Miss Preston,” he said, lifting his head just as the first gentleman turned around also. “Good morning. I mean, good afternoon. I do apologize for the intrusion.”
“It is no intrusion at all,” she replied, getting to her feet and curtsying quickly. “I was just finishing here and can leave you to discuss matters in peace.”
“No, please do not!” said the first gentleman, looking at her with a kind expression. “I do apologize for interrupting your solitude, Miss Preston, but there is no need to depart. Especially when I have some news for you that I am certain you will want to hear.”
Henrietta blinked, not quite certain who this gentleman was but slowly beginning to see a similarity between Lord Carrick and this man. They both had fair hair and the same strong jaw. Was this Lord Carrick’s brother?
“Oh, I do forget myself,” Lord Carrick said hastily, seeing the direction of her gaze. “May I present my brother, Miss Preston? I forget that you have not met him before.”
“The honorable Mr. Grieves, my lady,” said the first man, bowing beautifully. “I am sorry we have not been introduced properly before, for I have been greatly troubled by the distressing situation you have found yourself in and, as I am determined to become a better man, I have done all I can to help you and my brother.”
A little overwhelmed by this speech, Henrietta tried to smile but found herself staring at the gentleman, wondering what it was he had to say to her.
“Please, do sit down again, Miss Preston,” Lord Carrick said gently, coming towards her and holding out the chair for her again. “You look a little pale and I would not like you to become overwhelmed with all that is to be said.” He smiled at her and touched her hand, helping her to sit down again. Henrietta swallowed the sudden swirl of fear that settled within her and sat carefully, looking across at Oliver and seeing how he smiled at her, evidently trying to put her at ease. Looking up at Lord Carrick, she managed a small smile of thanks, which he returned quickly.
She had to admit that, even amongst her fear, she was glad to see him again. He was always so reassuring, his presence so warm and welcoming. The way he continued to watch her as he moved to take his seat sent a fire burning in the pit of her stomach, chasing away some of her anxiety. He sat at the head of the table, only a little away from her, whilst Oliver began to pour some coffee. Shaking her head when he offered some to her, she held her breath as he added a little milk, feeling her anxiety mounting with every second that passed.
“My brother has only just returned from the Cuthbert estate, Miss Preston.”
Her breath left her in a rush, rendering her completely weak and feeling rather lifeless.
“I did not ask him to go but he was quite determined to make certain that the letter I sent them reached without delay,” Lord Carrick continued, lean
ing forward in his chair and looking directly at her. “He discovered both your parents present and in excellent health.”
Henrietta closed her eyes as a swell of relief threatened to overwhelm her, making her want to both laugh and cry in equal measure. Her breath came in shaky gasps as she lowered her head and clasped her hands together, her fingers digging into her palms as she let her eyes close tightly against the swell of tears.
“They are all right,” she heard Oliver say. “They are both well. No harm has come to either of them.” He cleared his throat, making her look up. “In fact, Miss Preston, your mother did not show any indication that she had been in any danger whatsoever.”
Henrietta blinked rapidly, the cloud of relief lifting to let the questions she had now begin to fill her head all over again. “I do not understand,” she said slowly, looking at him in confusion. “You mean to state that my own dear mother was not in danger at all?”
Oliver shook his head, sitting back in his chair and looking at her with the same steady gaze that Lord Carrick had so often settled upon her. “No, Miss Preston. I do not believe she was.”
“I do not understand,” Henrietta said, rubbing at her forehead with her hands and trying to make sense of what Oliver was saying. “Do you mean to tell me that my mother was in no danger at all, and I, in all my foolishness, took the rubies to the docks when she was quite happily playing cards at Lady Whitaker’s?” She closed her eyes and slammed one hand down on the table, making the crockery rattle. “I should never have done such a stupid thing. I should have gone directly to Lady Whitaker’s and sought my mother there, to be quite certain that what had been said about her was true!”
Lord Carrick rose at once, coming around to her side of the table and seating himself beside her, his hand grasping hers tightly as it sat, clenched and angry, on the table.
“You did nothing wrong, Henrietta,” he told her gently. “You were afraid for your mother’s life. Of course you would do what was asked of you! There is nothing here for you to regret, nothing here for you to berate yourself with. You acted accordingly, truly. Do not consider this to be your fault.”
Anger and frustration at her own foolishness burned within Henrietta’s heart as she closed her eyes again, letting out a long, slow breath to try to lessen some of her fury. Over and over, she saw herself reading the note, felt the same, furious reaction, and grew upset over her lack of thought. It was as Lord Carrick had said—she had behaved without consideration, had done precisely what she had thought would be best and all because of the fear that had ripped through her over the fact that she might lose her dear mother.
“And regardless,” Oliver said kindly, “it does not answer the question as to what your mother was doing leaving London without you. If she is in fine health and if nothing has happened to her, then why was she quite happy to leave London and to pack up the house without your presence?”
Slowly, Henrietta looked up at Oliver, her hand tightening in Lord Carrick’s. “Are you about to tell me?” she asked him, her heart hammering furiously. “Can you give answers to such a question?”
Unfortunately, Oliver shook his head. “I am afraid that, when I asked your mother about your whereabouts and handed your father the note from my brother, they simply informed me that you were gone to reside with some family for a time and not to expect you to return to London this Season.”
Henrietta shuddered violently, things becoming more and more fragmented within her own mind as she tried to make sense of what was being said. If her mother was not in danger, and had never been in danger, then why had Henrietta been so violently attacked after leaving the rubies where she had been directed? What need had there been for it? And why were her parents now telling others that she was gone to stay with relatives when, in fact, her mother had simply left London without so much as a backward glance in search of her? Did she think that Henrietta had gone somewhere alone? Were they afraid that she had eloped or behaved in such a dire manner that they could no longer support her? A sudden sense of shame filled her and before she knew what she was doing, she had let go of Lord Carrick’s hand and had risen from her seat, pushing herself away from the table and hurrying towards the door.
Her mind screamed with agony as she hurried away from the dining room, not at all certain as to where she was going but knowing only that she was not worthy of being in Lord Carrick’s household, not when she had behaved in such an improper manner with not only Lord Kingsley but also, thereafter, being blackmailed by Lady Starling. Most likely that was why her parents had no eagerness to seek her out. Her mother must have returned home from the card game to discover her missing and, believing her to be quite able to behave improperly and with poor judgment, had decided to turn her back completely on her daughter and return home. Henrietta had been left to herself, to make her own choices and to deal with the consequences of what had come thereafter. Lord and Lady Cuthbert had, it seemed, washed their hands of her. It was the only explanation that made sense.
“Miss Preston! Miss Preston.”
She did not dare glance behind her but heard Lord Carrick hurrying towards her, his footsteps hasty and his voice filled with concern.
“Lord Carrick,” she stammered, turning towards him but not lifting her head. “I—I am sorry but it—”
“It has overwhelmed you,” Lord Carrick said gently, catching both her hands and looking down eagerly into her face. “That I quite understand.”
Swallowing the ache in her throat, Henrietta tried to find the words to explain. “I do not think that you need do any further deliberations for my sake, Lord Carrick,” she said brokenly. “I believe that my parents have decided that my absence from the house when my mother returned meant that I had behaved in an improper manner and, from that, they have decided to turn their back on me entirely.”
Lord Carrick let out a huff of breath, which Henrietta thought was a half chuckle of clear disbelief. “I should not believe it,” he replied firmly. “That cannot be so. Surely not, Miss Preston!” His hands squeezed hers, speaking to her of the warm intimacy that had sprung up between them in the last sennight. “Your mother and father would not think so ill of you.”
Closing her eyes, Henrietta let out a slow breath as she felt her cheeks fill with color. Heat climbed up her spine as she tried her best to find a way to be honest with him.
“Come,” Lord Carrick said, clearly not seeing her struggle. “Come for a short walk in the gardens, Miss Preston. It is a fine day and whilst it is best that your presence here remains as unnoticed as possible, I should like to ensure that you are kept in the very best of health.” He smiled at her, let go of her hands, and offered her his arm. “What say you?”
Henrietta dropped her head, quite certain that Lord Carrick would remove himself from her and perhaps remove her from his house once she had told him of Lord Kingsley and Lady Starling. “I must tell you the truth, Lord Carrick,” she whispered, not daring to look up at him. “Then, mayhap, you will understand.”
He shrugged, took her hand, and settled it on his arm. “But you can speak out of doors, can you not, Miss Preston?” he asked with a good deal of tenderness in his voice. “I truly do think that it would do you very well to spend a little time out of doors.”
She nodded, having no other recourse but to accept him.
“Then we shall meander slowly and return when you are ready,” he said decisively, not giving her any reason to argue. “Come, Miss Preston. Let me show you the way.”
Henrietta went at once, her heart beginning to ache within her as she walked. Lord Carrick had shown her such kindness and consideration and yet he did not know everything about her. The moment she told him of what had occurred two years ago and why she had been forced to miss a Season, he would understand why she had been so rejected by her parents. Everything would fall into place and he would shun her, not wanting a creature such as she under his roof.
Her heart tore into pieces as she walked alongside Lord Carrick. She had been
in his house for almost ten days—although for the first few days, she had been lost in unconsciousness—and during that time, a strong acquaintance had sprung up between them. She had a great regard for him, she knew, for he had treated her as no other gentleman had done. To know that he had saved her, had rescued her from the docks and, in doing so, had most likely saved her life was entirely overwhelming, making her heart crash into her chest every time she thought of it. Not once had he tried to press his advantage. Not once had he tried to suggest repayment for his kindness in some way or other. No, he had been entirely decent and had shown her a great respect in everything that he did and said.
And now, she was to tell him of her foolishness, her idiocy, and her shame in having to help Lady Starling, whom she had no doubt he would know of. Most likely, Lord Carrick knew about Lady Starling’s involvement in the dark happenings that had gone before and now she would have to admit to him that she had been involved in some small way. The shame of it burned within her heart, making her sag into him for a moment.
“You are weary, Miss Preston,” Lord Carrick said at once, looking down at her with concern as they stepped through the French doors of the ballroom and out into the sunshine. “Come, there is a bench where you might rest for a time.”
She said nothing but walked with him, wanting to lean into him, wanting to take a hold of his strength, but finding that she could not. Not when she knew that such happiness would soon come to an end.
“Here,” Lord Carrick urged, seating her down and patting her hand before letting her go. “I am certain the sunshine will revive you.”
Henrietta looked up at him, squinting a little in the sunlight. Lord Carrick was tall, broad, and handsome and she wanted to revel in his company for a moment, before it was torn from her.
“Lord Carrick,” she began, her voice hoarse. “There is something I must say. It is to do with—”