“Sure, Mommy.” Riley pointed. “The sign says five and up. I’m seven and I’m definitely tall enough.”
Janie squinted up at the sun. “I don’t know about this. It seems so high,” she whispered.
“I can hear you, Mommy. I’m not afraid, plus the rules say I can go,” Riley pleaded. “Mr. Drew said it was my day.”
Drew stepped in the direction of the elderly man in charge of monitoring the line to make sure the children reached the height requirement. “Excuse me, sir.”
“Yes. How can I help you?”
“Can the three of us ride together?” Drew pointed at Janie, then Riley.
The worker glanced down at Riley and smiled. “Of course. The seat is wide enough to hold two adults and a child.”
“Problem solved. Riley can sit in between us. She’ll be perfectly safe, Janie. Don’t worry.”
Riley grinned at Drew. “See, Mommy.”
Janie shrugged her shoulders. “I guess I’m outnumbered.”
As the party of three snaked through the line, Riley chatted with another little girl who expressed her fear about the ride. Janie listened with pride while her daughter reassured the child there was nothing to be afraid of and if she was riding with her father, she’d be perfectly safe.
“We’re next! We’re next!” Riley shouted when the empty car came to a stop.
Janie climbed aboard first, then helped Riley, who was covered in smiles.
Finally, Drew took a seat. Riley nuzzled between the two adults.
“This is going to be so much fun!” Riley announced.
When the car inched forward the little girl squealed with excitement. Seconds later, the ride came to a halt. “Hey, why did we stop already?”
“They have to load everyone,” Drew explained.
A couple of minutes later they were at the top. Janie looked down and found herself feeling a little queasy. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been on this ride.” Her stomach rolled. She shouldn’t have eaten breakfast so late. “I forgot how much I don’t like heights.”
Drew shot a look of concern. “Are you okay? Do you think you’re going to be sick?”
“Oh no! Please don’t lose your cookies on me, Mommy. These are my brand-new shorts.” Riley motioned to the neon pink clothing.
Despite the nausea, Janie chuckled. “I’m okay. My stomach is just a little unsettled. I shouldn’t have been looking down.” She closed her eyes. “That’s better.”
With everyone loaded, the music streamed from a nearby intercom, and the ride went into full swing gliding through the warm breeze.
Janie watched Riley. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her daughter so happy. Moving to Whispering Slopes had been good for her—good for both of them. Soon they’d have a home and, hopefully, a profitable business. Something her ex-husband said she could never do on her own.
“Isn’t this the best day ever, Mr. Drew?”
“I think you’re right, munchkin.”
“And you know what else is good?”
“What?” Drew asked.
“It just started.” Riley spread her arms open.
Drew winked at Janie. “Yes it has, Riley.”
Janie caught a glimpse of Riley reaching for Drew’s hand and her heart lightened. She loved to see Riley happy, but Drew might not always be around. Where would that leave her daughter? With a shattered heart—again.
As she surveyed the crowd below, Janie’s eyes popped. She looked closer and her heart raced. Was that Riley’s father? It couldn’t be. She watched as he worked his way through the crowd. Was he looking for them? Why else would he be here?
“Hey.” Drew reached over and placed his hand on Janie’s tense arm. “Is your stomach feeling better?”
She pulled her eyes away from the crowd below. “Yes. Thank you.” Were her eyes playing tricks? When she looked down again, the man was gone. She wrapped her arms around her waist. Her stomach wasn’t better...not in the least. Was it him? She couldn’t be sure.
Chapter Nine
“Do you guys want go on another ride or should we check out the petting zoo?” Drew inquired once the threesome had their feet back on the trampled fescue grass.
“Let’s go see the animals!” Riley jumped up and down flapping her arms.
Drew waited for Janie’s input. She’d been quiet since midway through their ride on the Ferris wheel. She kept turning around like she was looking for someone.
“Janie? Do you have a preference?”
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I asked what you ladies wanted to do next,” Drew repeated. Something was up with her. She seemed so distracted all of a sudden. Maybe the crowds were bothering her. Drew had never seen this many people at the carnival, and he was feeling a little uncomfortable himself.
“Oh, sorry. Whatever Riley would like to do is fine.” She glanced over her shoulder.
“Okay, animals it is.” Drew announced as Riley grabbed his hand and he looked down.
She grinned. “It’s pretty crowded in here. You don’t want to lose me.”
This little girl was tugging on his heartstrings. Emotions that he’d tried to keep buried resurfaced.
The aroma of fresh hay and manure lingered in the warm air as they reached the corral housing the pygmy goats. Riley squealed with delight. “Look, you can go inside and play with them!” She pulled her hand from his.
“Well, it is a petting zoo.” Drew laughed.
“Can I go inside, Mommy?”
“Yes, but stay where I can keep an eye on you.”
Riley raced toward the gate, kicking up dirt under her feet. She let herself inside the pen and a caramel-colored goat with black markings bounded toward her.
Drew turned to Janie. “It looks like she made a new friend.”
When she didn’t respond, Drew stepped closer. “Is something wrong? You’ve been quiet since the Ferris wheel.”
She pulled on her sleeve. “No—it’s...never mind. It’s silly. I thought I recognized someone, but it probably wasn’t. So are these the kind of goats you think I should have for the camp?”
With the sudden change of subject, Drew assumed Janie didn’t want to discuss who she thought she may have seen, so he let it go. “Yeah, they’re called pygmy goats. They’re pretty cool, don’t you think?”
Janie’s gaze drifted over the animals, and she smiled at Riley rolling on the ground with her new friend. “Yes, they are adorable, but I’m sure they’re a lot of work.”
“Not really.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I suppose one little goat couldn’t be too much trouble.”
Drew bit down on his lower lip. “Two.”
“What?” Janie’s face crinkled.
“Well, you can’t just buy one goat. They need a companion.”
“I see.” Janie put her hands on her hips. “It seems you’ve done some research. What else do they need?”
“Most important, a secure shelter to keep the predators out. But you have the barn, so that’s not an issue. A couple changes would be necessary with the individual stalls, but nothing major. They also like to have access to an open area to graze, which you also have.”
A smile parted her lips. “Yes, I do. What else?”
“During the winter months, you can feed them hay.”
“Who can?”
“I will.” Drew corrected himself before she squashed his idea. He watched Riley who was still enthralled with the goat. “If having goats makes her smile like that, I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“I hate to say it because the last thing we need is something else on our plate, but you’re right. She is in love with that little fella.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
“What is it?”
Janie pulled a tissue from the pocket of h
er jeans, then dabbed her eyes. “I just can’t help but wonder about the long-term effects her father’s behavior will have on her. Will she grow up not trusting men?”
Drew looked at her for a long moment. “She doesn’t seem to feel that way about me.”
“You’re right,” she confessed in a trembling whisper. “She thinks you’re some sort of superhero. You’re so good with her.” Her gaze dropped to the ground. “I really do appreciate the time and attention you give to her. I know it means a lot to her—it means so much to me, too.”
Had God brought Janie and Riley back into his life for some purpose? He’d been reluctant to talk about his family in any detail, but was that really a good thing? Keeping everything bottled up inside couldn’t be healthy. A part of him was afraid to open up about the past. Would Janie think less of him if she found out he wasn’t man enough to save his own family?
“Drew? Where did you just go?”
He leaned against the split rail fence and swallowed hard to force the lump down his throat. “My daughter’s name was Heidi. She would have been Riley’s age—if I’d saved her.”
Janie’s face went blank. She slowly cupped her hand over her mouth, standing silent for a moment.
Children’s laughter filled the air, a contrast to the regret swarming in his mind like bees. This was a mistake. He should have waited until after the camp was reopened.
“I’m so sorry, Drew. I...I don’t know what to say.”
Drew was familiar with people not knowing how to respond. What to say. What not to say. “My family and I were on our way to see my in-laws in North Carolina. I was working as a paramedic. I had just come off a twenty-four-hour shift. My wife didn’t think it was a good idea for me to drive, but I drank a couple cups of coffee and told her I would be fine.” He blew out a strong breath and closed his eyes. “Turns out, I wasn’t fine. I fell asleep behind the wheel. Our van went off the road and down an embankment. The impact caused the electrical system to malfunction, igniting a fire. I couldn’t—”
“Drew, stop. You don’t need to say any more.” Janie moved closer and took him in her arms. “I’m so sorry.”
He pulled back, mashing his palms into his eyes before he could look at Janie again. “I don’t want your pity. I made the mistake of getting behind the wheel.” He sucked in a breath. “It’s something I’ll have to live with forever. I should have saved them.”
The scene was ingrained in his mind. After the car rolled four times, things got fuzzy. He remembered calling out to his family, but the air had been still. Then he spotted the flames and he panicked. A trained paramedic and he froze.
“Please, don’t blame yourself, Drew.” She rested her hand on his forearm.
Drew looked over at Riley on the ground, surrounded by three pouncing goats. “I thought I was dealing with it pretty well. At least the nightmares had stopped, up until—”
Janie’s hand dropped. “Until we moved to Whispering Slopes and you were forced to spend time with Riley. Oh, Drew, I wish you would have said something earlier. I could have kept her away, prevented her from becoming so attached to you.”
He pulled in a long, slow breath to center himself. “At first, when the dreams started again, I wanted her to stay away. I didn’t want to be anywhere close to that sweet little girl who was a constant reminder of not only what I’d lost, but my failure as a man. But lately, my dreams have changed. I’m not afraid to go to sleep at night,” Drew confessed.
“I’m happy to hear that, Drew. But please, if it’s too difficult to be around Riley, I can make arrangements for her when we have to work together. Mrs. Buser has already volunteered to babysit anytime I need her. Or we can just split up the list of projects and take care of our portions separately.”
Drew considered Janie’s suggestion. It would be easier to work independently in order to avoid Riley. Was that what he wanted? Not if he was being truthful to himself. Was God using Janie and Riley to nudge him out of hiding? Did He want Drew to stop living like a hermit in his cabin and on the trails? Could he do that? Drew shook his head. “According to Mrs. Applegate’s wishes, we have to work together until the camp is opened.” And then what? He would go back into seclusion? When he looked at Janie and her daughter he realized what he wanted, but he knew in his heart he didn’t deserve it.
* * *
Janie’s alarm clock buzzed, interrupting a dream about her ex-husband. No doubt, it had been prompted by seeing his lookalike at the carnival. There was no way he’d come to Whispering Slopes, especially since she’d heard from a friend in Maryland about his new girlfriend. But that was old news to Janie.
She reached toward the nightstand and mashed her hand on the off button. As she rolled onto her side, a glimmer of the early Tuesday sun peeked through the lace curtains. Her sister-in-law Joy had done a beautiful job decorating their home. The guest room was filled with antique white furniture. A club chair with seafoam-green upholstery sat next to the window, offering an invitation of an afternoon savoring a good book. The room reminded Janie of a cozy beach house.
She rested her head back onto the fluffy down pillow and her thoughts turned to Drew and the family he’d lost. It had been difficult for him to tell her about the accident, but she was happy he had. Even though he’d reminded her about the terms of the will and having to work together, since the carnival they hadn’t seen each other. He’d been working with the crew on remodeling the barn and the activity building, while she’d been interviewing a few candidates for camp counselor positions and dealing with licensing issues. A little space between them was probably a good thing, but more important, Janie thought it best if Riley kept her distance from Drew. He didn’t need a constant reminder of his little girl, and she didn’t want Riley to get more attached than she already was.
Twenty minutes later, following a quick shower, Janie’s sock-covered feet glided toward her brother’s kitchen for a cup of coffee. Frankie scratched at the door waiting to go outside. “Just a minute, buddy. Let me get my caffeine fix and we’ll head outside.” Frankie whimpered in response and plopped down on the hardwood.
With the piping brew in her hand, Janie and the dog stepped out onto the porch that stretched across the entire front of her brother’s house. This was her favorite part of the structure. Two massive columns on each side of the steps gave the home a Southern feel. Janie settled in to one of the four graceful wooden rockers perfectly aligned to focus on the stunning view of the mountains.
Moments later the screen door squeaked open. “Good morning, Mommy.”
Riley stepped outside dressed in her polka-dotted nightgown, her hair a tousled mess. “Hey, sweetie.” She opened up her arms and her daughter climbed onto her lap, resting her head against Janie’s chest. “Did you sleep well?”
“Uh-huh.”
Janie was well aware that mornings like this wouldn’t last forever. Riley would grow and no longer sit with her, but for now, she’d cherish every second. She stroked her child’s soft, downy hair. “Are you excited to spend the day with Mrs. Buser?”
Riley perked up and turned to her mother. “Yes! She said I could work the cash register.”
On Sunday evening Drew had called to invite her and Riley on a hike today. He thought it would be good for her to familiarize herself with some of the trails before guests started to arrive. It sounded like a smart idea, but she’d suggested Riley stay with Mrs. Buser. “That sounds like fun. You always loved your toy cash register.” Janie recalled how her daughter’s eyes would light up whenever the drawer opened and the bell rang.
“Yeah. She also told me I could help her with the inventory. And after we’re finished, she’d make ice-cream sundaes.”
“You’re going to have a fun day.”
Her daughter turned so their noses were almost touching. “Are you excited about your date with Mr. Drew?” Riley giggled.
“It’s not a date
, Riley. It’s for business,” Janie explained.
“Going on a hike alone together sounds like a date to me.” Sounding like an adult, Riley climbed off her mother’s lap and sat in the rocker next to her.
When Drew first invited her on the hike, Janie had to admit, she thought he was asking her out, too. Or had it been wishful thinking? In the end, once he explained the reason behind the invitation, she realized keeping their relationship on a business level made much more sense. She would never want to run the risk of ruining their friendship or put herself in a position where she had to tell him about the abuse that went on during her marriage. Drew might be ready to share his past, but Janie would take hers to the grave. “Well, it’s not a date, so let’s change the subject and get some breakfast.”
Riley jumped to her feet. “Let’s make pancakes. I’m starving.”
Janie glanced at her watch. She’d told Mrs. Buser she’d drop off Riley at ten o’clock before meeting up with Drew at the farm. “We only have an hour before you need to be at the store. How about we go into town for bagels and cream cheese?”
Riley skipped toward the door. “That sounds yummy! Can I get the strawberry cream cheese? That’s my favorite.”
“Mine, too. Let’s go get you dressed.” Janie trailed behind her daughter, excited about the day ahead.
* * *
Shortly after ten, Janie had dropped off Riley at Mrs. Buser’s store and was headed to meet Drew. This would be the first time since they were kids that they’d be spending an extended period of time alone. She tried to convince herself that she wasn’t excited, but her fluttering pulse told her otherwise.
Grateful for the scattered cloud cover today, she rolled down the car window, inhaling the invigorating mountain air. The slightly cooler temperature was a blessing, especially today. Wearing a jacket while hiking in June could get a little uncomfortable, not to mention spark some questions.
At the farm, she spotted Drew’s truck. She couldn’t wait to tell him that Riley had talked her into purchasing the pygmy goats. When she’d gone inside the corral on Saturday and played with the adorable balls of fur, she’d been a goner. Now she entertained the idea of buying a couple horses. Of course, she hadn’t mentioned it to Riley in case she decided against it. She wanted to get Drew’s thoughts on the issue.
A Home for Her Daughter Page 9