“Of course,” he answered.
Janie cleared her throat and rose to her feet. “I’m over here, sweetie.”
Riley moved toward her mother, but slowed when her eyes locked on to Janie’s arms. “Are you hurt, Mommy? Did you fall or something?”
“No, I’m fine.” She extended her hand. “Come, sit with me.” Janie guided her daughter toward a stack of hay bales. Janie glanced in Drew’s direction and he nodded.
She fought back the tears when Riley’s fingers moved down her arms.
“Does it hurt?”
“No, sweetie. These are old scars that have healed.” When Janie spoke those words for the first time, she was finally able to believe them.
“Is that why you always covered them?”
“Yes, but it was wrong of me. I shouldn’t have been ashamed, but I was...for a long time.”
Riley studied the scars before looking up at Janie. “Did Daddy do that to you?”
Janie’s heart sank. As much as she’d tried to protect her daughter and not expose her to what was going on with her parents’ marriage, she’d known. Swallowing hard, Janie struggled to speak. “Yes...he did.”
Riley nuzzled her head against Janie’s side. “I used to hear him yelling, but I pretended I didn’t.”
“Were you afraid?” The thought of her daughter being frightened in her own home broke her heart. Children should feel safe with their parents.
“Sometimes I was, but usually I was sad that Daddy made you cry so much.”
Janie’s heart broke for her daughter. She’d always assumed Riley wasn’t aware of the abuse going on in the house. She’d been wrong. All along she’d wanted to protect Riley. But she hadn’t. She’d made so many wrong decisions when it came to her marriage, particularly not to get out sooner. As she took Riley into her arms, Janie asked God for forgiveness. She also prayed that her poor judgment wouldn’t negatively impact her daughter’s life going forward.
Chapter Seventeen
“Are you sure you want to do this? I seem to recall you had a fear of heights.” Taking his eyes off the road for a second, Drew stole a quick glance at Janie perched in his passenger seat. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. He had a hike scheduled with a group of children later this afternoon. But now, Mark and Laura Marie were covering the camp activities and Riley was helping Mrs. Buser at the store. The thought of spending early Wednesday afternoon together sounded perfect. With her hair swept up in a loose bun, dressed in khaki shorts and a short-sleeved T-shirt, Janie looked beautiful.
“Well, if we’re going to offer rock climbing at our center, I think it’s important that I learn a little about it.” Janie took a sip of coffee from her insulated travel mug.
Drew admired her courage, but he and Janie had already hired two additional college students. “Remember, Mitch and Greg will be the guides. They’ll be the ones taking our guests for the climbs. So you can keep your feet firmly on the ground,” he joked.
She turned and peered out the window. “Actually, I think it’s time for me to start taking more risks. You know, step out of my comfort zone.”
“I think you’ve made a good start.” He placed his hand on her exposed arm.
Janie looked down. “Thanks. You know, at first I was angry when you caught me without my jacket, but it was time. Riley needed to know the truth, and I had to stop hiding from my past. I’m not sure I would have been able to tell her if you hadn’t been there with me.”
“I’m proud of you, Janie.” Easing his foot off the accelerator as they approached the flashing lights at the railroad crossing, he turned to Janie. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
Janie half laughed. “You must not know many people.” She shook her head.
“I’m serious. I don’t know half of what you experienced during your marriage, but you were strong enough to get out.”
“I should have left sooner.” Her eyelashes fluttered as a tear ran down her face.
“Don’t second-guess yourself. You’ve come too far.”
The train released a whistle as it barreled down the tracks. The cars continued to pass in a blur and then they were gone. When the lights went out and the gate lifted, Drew pushed his foot on the gas, but his hand remained with Janie.
“You know, you’ve come pretty far yourself, Drew.”
Drew considered her words. She and Riley had brought him back to life. He never imagined he’d ever consider a relationship again, but now, he couldn’t get it out of his mind.
“What? You don’t agree?” Janie removed her hand to pull down the sun visor.
“On the contrary, I completely agree with you. But you’re the reason. If you hadn’t moved back to Whispering Slopes, I would still be holed up in my cabin, missing out on life.”
She shook her head. “I’m sure you would have moved on when you were ready. You were grieving the loss of your family.”
“I had no reason to live. A part of me felt like I didn’t deserve to be alive, since I believed the accident was my fault,” Drew confessed.
Silence lingered inside the truck.
“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?” Janie said.
Drew had avoided talking about their date the other night. He didn’t want to put any pressure on Janie, but now seemed like a perfect opportunity. “I hope our kiss the other night during our walk didn’t scare you. I just needed you to know how I feel.”
“It’s not the kiss that scares me, Drew.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s...I’m just so messed up.” She reached to cover her arms, but then dropped her hands into her lap. “I married someone who’d been abusive while we were dating. It wasn’t like it all started after I said I do.”
Drew wasn’t qualified to analyze the decisions Janie had made in her past. He’d made his fair share of mistakes, so he listened.
“There’s a part of me that wonders if I would have made the same choice if my upbringing had been any different. Losing my mother to drug addiction and then watching my father struggle after her death—I felt so alone. I wanted someone to love me.” She could no longer hold back the tears.
Drew hit his turn signal and pulled into Morrison’s Gas and Go parking lot. He unbuckled his seat belt and moved closer, taking her into his arms. “Go ahead and let it out.”
Moments later, when the cries subsided, Janie picked her purse up off the floor and pulled out a tissue. Rubbing her eyes, she turned to Drew. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be.”
“Funny, after I went through the divorce, I had a couple therapy sessions and I never cried. Honestly, I didn’t think about why I married Randy, knowing he was abusive. My therapist seemed to focus more on why I left rather than why I got involved with him in the first place.” She blotted her eyes.
“I guess I make a pretty good therapist.” He nudged her with his shoulder. “I’ll send you my bill.”
Janie laughed and looked up into his eyes. “Do you really want to try this? You and me? Dating?”
“There’s nothing I’ve ever wanted more.” He leaned in and gently kissed her seashell-pink lips. “Besides, you said you wanted to take more risks. I can’t think of a bigger risk than to give your heart to someone.”
She took in a deep breath. “Let’s take it slow, okay?”
“Understood. I’ll be like a snail.”
* * *
At the indoor climbing wall in the nearby town of Mount Harmony, Drew felt as though he could scale the wall in record time—maybe even barefoot. When Janie agreed to give dating a try, he could barely contain the excitement. He wanted to shout it all over Whispering Slopes. Never in his wildest dreams did he believe he would ever feel this much joy and elation again. For the first time in two years, he actually looked forward to the future and it felt great.
�
�I know the excursions at your center will be outdoors, but it’s smart of you to take our basic skills class so you can familiarize yourself with the sport. Since you both are beginners, we’re going to climb that wall over there.” Scott, the owner of the center, pointed across the room. “Those are what we call bouldering routes.”
“I’ve heard that term, but could you explain it?” Drew requested after Janie gave him a questioning look.
“Sure. We call them bouldering routes because they are simply short rock climbing problems. You won’t require any ropes or harnesses.” He turned to Drew. “Since you said neither of you will actually be conducting the climbs, this will be a great way for you to get a taste of what the climbers experience.”
Janie looked at Drew. “This is going to be fun.” She clapped her hands together and jumped up and down, just like Riley.
“That’s what it’s all about.” Scott nodded. “Before we get started let’s go fit you with some shoes and get chalk for your hands.”
Standing at the bottom of the wall, Drew’s feet felt like an orange inside of a juicer. “I think I’ve got the wrong size, Scott. These feel way too tight.” He winced.
“The rock climbing shoes are made to feel snug. They have pointy toes so you can hang on to the edge of the rock a little easier,” Scott explained. “Trust me, you’ll get used to them.”
“It looks so high.” Janie glanced up toward the ceiling, holding her stomach.
Drew hoped Janie was ready for this. When they were in elementary school, she’d been afraid to walk across the high balance beam in gym class. “I’ll let you go in front of me, in case you slip, I’ll break your fall.”
Janie playfully pushed Drew’s shoulder. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. I’ll probably beat you to the top.”
“No one is going to fall. Just remember to push up from your legs. It might feel more natural to pull with your arms, but your thighs are stronger. You’ll get more tired and probably won’t make it to the top if you rely on arm strength, so use those legs. You want to plan each move, setting your feet before you move your hands. Keep your weight on your toes, instead of your hands,” Scott instructed. “And most important of all, be deliberate and have fun.”
Drew scratched his head. “And I thought all that we had to remember was not to look down.”
Scott and Janie laughed as the threesome prepared for the climb.
“Oh here, I almost forgot.” Scott passed them each a bag.
“What’s this for?” Drew examined the satchel.
The instructor demonstrated by securing the belt around his waist and opening the bag. He tilted it to show the contents. “It’s the chalk, to help keep your hands dry.”
After what seemed like an eternity, Drew was three-quarters of the way to the top when his foot slipped and his heart skipped a beat. With his left hand, he wiped the sweat from his brow while holding on with his right hand. He’d forgotten Scott’s instructions to use your legs, not your arms, so he was struggling a bit. He carefully dipped his wet hand inside the bag of chalk. Switching, he coated a light dusting on the other. Looking up, he saw Janie was on a roll. She seemed like a professional. “Well, now you’re just being a show-off,” he called out when she reached the top.
Janie looked down at Drew and Scott. “This is fun. I think I’d like to try the real thing.”
Witnessing Janie stepping out of her comfort zone and enjoying herself made Drew happy. But the thought of her doing any real rock climbing in the mountains didn’t sit well with him. He wouldn’t want her to risk getting injured.
Finally, Scott and Drew reached the top. Scott turned to Janie. “Great job...you seem to be a natural, but remember, outdoor climbing is an entirely different world than climbing these walls indoors. You’ll need to do a lot of training here before it would be safe for you to do the real thing.”
Drew’s shoulders relaxed as he listened to Scott point out the dangers of climbing. Drew didn’t want to stop her from experiencing new things, but her safety was important to him.
“I might add this to my bucket list,” Janie said as she began her descent.
On the car ride back to the farm, Janie could hardly sit still. “I can’t believe I really did it, Drew. All of my life, I’ve been petrified of heights.”
“I’m so proud of you. You seemed to breeze up the wall with little effort. You didn’t look the least bit scared.”
“The strange thing about it is, I really wasn’t. I had faith in myself. It felt incredible.” Janie’s voice bubbled with joy. “Truthfully, I don’t have a strong desire to do real rock climbing. I think I just wanted to prove to myself that I’m capable. Does that sound silly?”
Drew shook his head. “Not at all.”
Once at the farm, Drew navigated his truck down the gravel road and pulled up in front of the barn. “I want to check to see if we need to order more oats for the horses.”
Janie glanced at her watch. “Mrs. Buser should have Riley home any minute. I told her you were taking the group of children hiking this afternoon. She is so excited to go along.”
Drew placed the vehicle into Park and unbuckled his seat belt. “How many kids are signed up?”
Janie exited the truck and stretched her arms over her head. “There’re nine, including Riley. There’re no other adults going. Are you sure you don’t want me to come along to help?”
“No, by law we’re good with the ratio, so I’ll be fine. We’ll only be out for an hour. Besides, I think it might be a good idea for you to follow up on the liability insurance and to make sure the CPR instructor has us on his schedule for next week. We’ve got to get all of the employees certified.” Drew hoped he wasn’t sounding like her boss. This was definitely a partnership.
Janie smiled. “Actually, I’ve got both of those items on my list of things to do today.”
Drew leaned in and snuck a quick kiss. “This is why we’re partners. We make a great team.”
* * *
Two hours later, Janie tallied some receipts at her kitchen table while on hold with the insurance company. After twenty minutes, she pushed herself away from the paperwork and headed to the coffee maker. Pouring the leftovers from this morning into her cup, she popped it into the microwave as her mind drifted to the kiss she and Drew shared the night by the lake. Her heart warmed thinking about it. It had been the perfect kiss.
When the microwave beeped, Janie removed her beverage and headed back to her laptop. Her stomach knotted when an email popped up on her screen. Randy. Since she hadn’t heard from him in a while, she’d hoped he’d been in contact with his lawyer to arrange visitation. There was nothing in the subject line, so against her better judgment, she opened the correspondence.
Dear Janie, Whether you like it or not, Riley is my daughter, too. I have the right to see her and I plan to exercise that right. Regards, Randy.
Janie read the email again and again. What did it mean? He planned to have his attorney try to seek custody? No. He’d said before he didn’t want to settle this through lawyers. He thought they were a waste of money.
She massaged her fingers deep into her temples. Could he be here in Whispering Slopes? She closed her laptop. Running across the tile floor, she snatched her keys off the counter. She raced to the pantry and grabbed her purse, slinging it over her shoulder. After bolting toward the back door, she ran to her car. She had to find Riley before Randy. She didn’t want to think he’d ever harm her, but his behavior could be unpredictable. Inside her car, she turned the key in the ignition and hit the accelerator hard, leaving the house in a cloud of dust.
As she navigated the curves, she prayed for Riley’s safety. Should she have gone against her attorney’s advice and responded to Randy’s emails? Janie knew he got upset when he was ignored.
A few minutes into the drive, Janie realized she didn’t know which trail Drew had taken
the kids to this afternoon. He had mentioned his plan to let the children decide whether they wanted to hike the river trail or the one with several overlooks.
Think, Janie. She bit hard on her lower lip. Which trail would the kids prefer? Wait—her cell. She’d call Drew to find out where they were and also to give him a heads-up about Randy possibly being in the area. Flipping her turn signal, she exited off the road to make her call. She guided the car safely into Ben’s Farmer’s Market’s parking lot. After unbuckling her seat belt, she lifted her purse off the passenger seat and fumbled for her phone. Not feeling the device inside of her bag, she dumped the contents onto the leather upholstery.
When the device was nowhere among her wallet, hand wipes, tissues and breath mints, Janie remembered she’d left it on the kitchen table next to her laptop. She crammed the items back inside her bag, flung it onto the seat and pulled back on to the road. Her thoughts went to Riley. If given the choice, which trail would she pick for the hike? The water. Riley loved to be near the river.
Janie released a steady breath and told herself her daughter would be okay. She had to be. As she headed in the direction of Sleepy Hollow Falls, a chill ran through her body as the sky opened up, sending fat raindrops before buckets came down. Turning on the wipers didn’t improve the visibility. A wall of water confronted her. She reached for the defroster button and turned it on high, but the condensation on the windshield continued to spread. Leaning forward, Janie wiped her hand along the glass, but the smudges made it even more difficult to see. Common sense told her she should pull over, wait it out, but she had to make sure Riley was safe, so she compromised and released some pressure off of the accelerator. When the wheels skidded as the vehicle hugged a tight curve, Janie slowed a little more. If she had an accident, she would be of no help to Riley.
Thoughts of Randy confronting Drew camped out in her mind. Drew knew about the abuse. How would he react if he were to come face-to-face with Randy? Drew was protective, so the reaction wouldn’t be a good one. What if they got into a fight in front of the children? She kicked herself for leaving her phone behind. She could only hope that once she got to the trail someone would be around and she could borrow their phone.
A Home for Her Daughter Page 17