by Mary Martel
My life was such a mess right now, the whole thing a giant shit show I seemed to have no control over anymore. Not that I really had any control over anything to begin with, that was a lie I'd been telling myself all too often lately.
The cell phone in my hoodie pocket rang and I pulled it out to check the screen. I never used to screen my calls before because I’d never had anyone call me. Now, with Adrian having my phone number and whoever the hell else, I needed to check the caller ID every single time before answering the stupid thing.
I let out a relieved sigh when Marcus Cole's name flashed across the screen. I'd forgotten to give him a return phone call. Too much had happened in such a short span of time that I was still struggling to play catch up, and I'd forgotten something as important as why Marcus had messaged me in the first place. The upcoming dinner I had no desire to attend. The Council I had no desire to entertain, and, make no mistake, that's why they'd invited my coven in the first place.
Ignoring the existence of both Trenton and Simon, I turned my back on them, touched my finger to the screen of my illuminated phone, and put it up to my ear.
"Hello," I answered in a fake, happy voice.
"Sweetheart." Marcus's warm, kind voice came out at me through the speaker on the phone, a welcome distraction from the hulking figures standing behind me. "I see your Range Rover is parked in the Alexander driveway. Can I take that to mean you’re next door or has one of the boys borrowed your vehicle?"
My lips tipped up secretively as a plan formed in the back of my mind.
"Are you staying in the old house?" I asked curiously. He'd been all packed up and ready to go. Then, there'd been a Sold sticker slapped across the for sale sign in the front yard. I'd been told he'd moved out but nobody had ever bothered to tell me who'd bought the place.
"My boxes were never unpacked and, before I knew it, they were right back where they belonged—home," he said.
"But, I thought you sold the place," I replied.
"Yes, well," he hedged, "I did. Then I realized the error of my ways and the Alexander boys dealt with that little mess for me. I'd been too out of practice to deal with it myself. At the time. Of course, things are entirely different now."
I didn't know why, but a shiver rent up my spine at hearing his words. I'd yet to experience first hand a Marcus Cole who'd unleashed his magic and used it like a true witch instead of gagging it and pretending it never existed in the first place. He'd had good reason for the things he'd done, that being the family he'd created with the human woman who knew nothing of the world her husband had once lived in. It had been unfortunate for Marcus that his children had been adopted and born entirely human with no magic to speak of. It meant that in order to keep them safe from the Council and their greedy, unethical ways, he kept them away from anything and all things magical. In order to do that, he did the one thing no witch ever dreamed of doing. Marcus Cole had given up his magic, the thing that made him so special, gagging it for years and years inside himself. All for the sake of his family and loved ones, to keep them safe. Now that they were off and living their own lives, his beloved wife long since having passed from this world, he no longer had anyone in his day to day life he needed to hide what he was from.
Marcus was a witch, and it was something I still hadn't yet come to terms with, but I'd get there. Eventually.
"Hmm," I murmured. "You want me to come over?"
Please say yes, I thought to myself. This would be the chance I needed to escape my bodyguards I'd stupidly accepted into my life like a fool. It was hard for me to regret the decision too much when they'd been there to assist the night Dash's cottage had been attacked. They'd played an important role that night. Still, I couldn't help but resent their presence in my life at the moment.
I just needed a minute to myself. Or, more like thirty-eight years. You know, whichever helped.
"Would you?" Marcus asked in a sweet voice. "I would really love the company."
I smiled. "I'll be right over."
I pulled the phone away from my ear and touched my finger to the red circle that would end the call. This was exactly the distraction I needed to lose the shadows who'd been following me around since I had left Quinton in the kitchen with Rain, after eating spaghetti for breakfast with them.
They'd been silent until Trenton had plucked my car keys out of my hand like I'd been a toddler he'd easily stolen candy from.
I shoved my cell back into my hoodie pocket before turning around to face them, making sure I wiped the smile from my face and schooled my features.
"Marcus," I told them as I waved my hand in the direction of where I thought the house next door was. "He lives in the house next door, I used to live with him. He... was involved with the woman who had pretended to be my mother and kidnapped me."
Their bodies twitched as they did the opposite of what I had planned and became more alert. Dammit. I should have thought better of what would come out of my mouth before opening it.
"You were kidnapped?" Simon inquired incredulously.
"Rain never mentioned that," Trenton muttered as he eyed me cautiously.
I waved my hand in the air as if trying to sweep the words away, under the proverbial rug, if you will.
"Long time ago," I lied easily. It was much easier to lie to these two brothers than it was to any of my guys. Good to know.
"Anyway," I breezed out, "he was the one on the phone and he wants me to go over there."
I smiled sweetly at them, disarmingly so. Or, at least I hoped. I was better at looking sad than I was happy, so I wasn't sure how well it had worked on them.
"Okay," Trenton drawled slowly, as he shoved my car keys into the front pocket of his dark blue jeans.
I followed the movement of his hands as I fought the urge to scream bloody murder at the unfairness of him stealing my keys from me, and thinking he had the right to pocket them.
I didn't want to hate Trenton or Simon. They'd seemed like decent enough guys when we'd first met in the shop. I'd been stupid enough then to welcome them both naively into my life without thinking about the consequences that would come hand in hand with it. Now I was seeing the error of my ways. They were glaring me right in the face. Freedom be damned and freedom be gone.
I was over this.
"I'm going next door to hang out with Marcus because he wants to spend time with me," I said in a small voice. "My relationship with Marcus is complicated and only just getting back on track. I don't want either of you going over there with me and making the situation more uncomfortable than it's already going to be. I'd like for you both to stay here or whatever it was you were going to do before I tried to bail."
Trenton opened his mouth as if to protest. Or, what I assumed would be a protest. I certainly didn't think he'd be agreeing with me, he'd had yet to do that.
"You can keep my car keys," I blurted hysterically. "I can't go anywhere without those."
Trenton's face softened, making the scar that ran down through his jaw and further down his neck stand out. I turned my eyes away before he could catch me staring. I knew what that felt like, to have people looking at your scars in either perverse curiosity or disgust, and it wasn't a good feeling to be on the other end of it. I might not have wanted them to follow my every move around like shadows, but that didn't mean I would ever be unnecessarily cruel to the brothers.
"We'll wait for you here," Simon replied and finally, and most importantly, very agreeable.
Well, wasn't that a relief to hear. I didn't waste any time getting the heck out of there. I practically sprinted toward the front door.
Thankfully, no one got in my way and tried to stop me. They let me go, but that didn't mean I couldn't feel eyes on me as I crossed the driveway and grass to the front of Marcus's house. They must have watched me from one of the front windows. I seriously thought about flipping them off behind my back, but didn't want to chance Marcus seeing and being disappointed in me.
I raised my hand to knock on
the front door but never made contact with it, because it swung open before I could tap my fist against it.
Marcus stood in the doorway, one side of his mouth curved up in a half smile. I smiled back before looking down and froze.
"Are you..." I gaped at him. "Are you wearing jeans?"
Marcus laughed quietly.
"I wear pants every day," he pointed out. "I don't understand why you'd find it so strange to see me in jeans. They are quite comfortable. Though... I don't think I've ever actually seen you wear jeans either."
"I actually don't think they're all that comfortable," I told him.
"To each their own," he remarked, before stepping back and waving me inside. "Come in, come in. If you stand out here any longer, one of the guys from next door will come running and call me an asshole for making you wait on my front step."
Again, I gaped at him.
"First jeans," I said as I stepped inside, "then you're swearing at me. Sheesh, it's like I don't even know who you are right now. What's next? Are you going to offer me a drink, ask me if I want to share a beer with you?"
"Forget the beer," he stated. "We'll just go straight for the scotch."
I laughed with him as he shut the door behind us. I thought he'd been joking, but the serious look on his face told me different. I had never had scotch before, but was more than willing to give it a taste if he offered it up to me. I had a feeling it was something neither Quinton or Rain would approve of and that made me childishly want to do it all the more. I realized with a start that their bonding had kind of bothered me. They could threaten each other one second, then the next act like they were best of friends. There was something about it that was driving me crazy. If someone had threatened me, I didn't think I would be able to just get over it in the blink of an eye and go about my business. I'm a girl, we didn't quite work that way.
I followed behind Marcus as he moved through the house, frowning all the way at what I was seeing. When I'd first moved in here in the beginning of the summer with my... Vivian... this had been a family friendly home, complete with picture covered walls. There'd been photos of all their family get-togethers, holidays, birthdays, and school photos. Vivian had been intimidated and angered by the happy family hanging up all over the walls, smiling down on all of us. She'd tried to convince Marcus to take them down at one point, and he hadn't given into her selfish desires and I couldn't blame him for telling her no. Our family hadn't been happy and there hadn't been pictures to replace them with, not that you could ever replace your loved ones in such a way.
But they were all gone now, the happy family photos having been taken down. The walls were lonely and bare.
"What happened?" I asked curiously, needing to know where his family had gone, where their smiling faces had been taken to, and hoping like hell their absence had absolutely nothing to do with Vivian's death and my moving out of his home.
He looked back over his shoulder at me, an eyebrow arched in question.
I cleared my throat as I threw my hand out and gestured toward the bare walls. "Where have all your photographs gone to?" I looked around the room we were standing in, the living room. There was absolutely no personality in this space either, no personal touches, no knickknacks. Only furniture was housed here and a whole lot of nothing else. "Where is everything?"
Marcus shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "Everything is still packed up in boxes for the moment. I haven't had the time to unpack everything yet and didn't want to have to pay someone else to do it for me."
Hmm...
For some reason that made me incredibly sad. I didn't like thinking about him being here and alone in this house that had once been such a happy place for him and his family before his wife had died, and his children had grown up and moved out to live their own adult lives.
Then Vivian and I had come along, moved in, and turned his whole world upside down after he'd been nothing but kind to us.
And now he was here, all alone, with most of his life packed away in boxes. I wasn't responsible for this change in his life, I knew that. But it was hard not to think about how if Vivian hadn't sunk her claws into him, then maybe he would have found a different woman to invite into his home, a decent one, one deserving of his attention and love. Maybe if we'd never come into his life, then he would have ended up with that kind of woman and wouldn't be living here all alone now. Or, maybe he actually would have moved on and close to his brother's widow, and eventually gone for what he really wanted out of life.
I knew it was stupid to waste my time thinking about these things when I knew there would never be any way to change them, to make the outcome any different from where we already were now.
"Do you want some help unpacking things?" I asked in a quiet voice, as I followed him into the kitchen. I was glad we weren't heading toward the dining room. I had bad memories in there. Not from actually eating in there at the huge table. Thankfully that hadn't happened, but because I'd once come home from school to hear him having sex with Vivian in there on that very same table. The thought of sitting down in a chair there had my face burning in embarrassment. As far as I knew, Marcus was completely unaware of my having heard him having sex. Vivian, however, had done it on purpose in hopes I'd come home and hear her. She'd been really creative when it came to her many forms of punishment. That particular act on her part had been a punishment for my getting too close to Marcus when she felt he only should have had eyes for her.
Sometimes I forgot just what a bitch she really had been.
"If you want to find a day that works for you and come over and help me unpack some things, sweetheart, I would truly appreciate it and I'm not about to tell you no."
Marcus moved to the coffee pot on the counter. He reached up to the cupboard above and pulled down a black coffee mug. He placed the mug on the counter and pulled out the carafe. He poured coffee in the mug and put the carafe back. He pushed the coffee mug across the countertop and in my direction.
"We'll save the scotch for after you've been decently caffeinated," he teased while smiling softly at me.
I loved that he knew just how much I loved my coffee. It could be the middle of the night and I would still want to brew a pot just for myself.
I picked up the coffee mug happily and moved toward the refrigerator. I set it on the island before opening up the fridge door and reaching in for the milk. Marcus sat a container on the counter next to the milk jug I'd sat there. I thanked him quietly as I put both milk and sugar in my coffee. Heavy on the sugar of course, because that was the best part in my opinion.
I stirred my coffee with the spoon he'd placed beside the sugar container, and then moved to put it in the sink.
I sipped my coffee, humming happily, while he watched me. He stood in front of the counter beside the sink with his arms crossed loosely over his chest, completely at ease in his own kitchen.
"I didn't invite you over here just so I could have coffee with you," he admitted regretfully in a quiet voice. "I've got something I'd like to show you and want your advice on."
I frowned at him in confusion. Marcus needed my advice on something? That seemed unreal to me because he was an incredibly smart man, and I was just a seventeen-year-old girl. What could I possibly give him advice on?
"Marcus?" I asked in confusion. "What do you need from me? Tell me, and if I can help you, you have to know that I will."
Marcus, like Rain, could ask me for almost anything, and if I had it in me to give it to him I would. In that moment realization slammed into me enough that I had to drop my mug down to the counter and take a staggering step back. I slapped my palm down on top of the counter beside my mug as tears stung the backs of my eyes. I had always known Marcus meant a great deal to me, but it wasn't until that moment that I knew, I fucking knew, that I loved him just as much as I loved Rain. Marcus was just as important to me, and even though I'd known him for less than a year, I knew there would never come a time in my life where I would be happy to have him not taking a
n active role in it. It would break my heart into tiny little pieces if he were to walk out of my life and never look back.
All these people in my life now that I loved was really doing a number on me emotionally, because it wasn't something I had ever experienced before and not something I knew what the hell to do with now that I had them. I didn't ever want to disappoint anyone, and I wasn't even sure how to love that many people, even in a strictly platonic way.
I hated Vivian more than I ever had in that moment, because just how much she'd fucked me up in the head was becoming all too real to me and I didn't quite know what to do with that either.
"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he questioned hesitantly.
I nodded, not willing to tell him about what I'd just discovered. I had already told Rain I loved him today, I wasn't ready to tell yet another person the same. Part of me worried I would be giving away too much of myself to people who could potentially destroy me if they ever figured out how undeserving I was of their love and just how lacking I could be.
What if I told Marcus I loved him and he didn't say it back? What's worse, if I told him, he said it back, and then went on to throw it back in my face later on? It would crush me, maybe even kill something vital inside of me, and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't put myself out there that way. Not in a way that would leave me so vulnerable. It was too soon since the last time I'd laid myself bare before someone else.
Thoughts of Dash moving above me, moving inside of me, flashed inappropriately in my mind. Yeah, I really didn't need to think of being vulnerable at the moment, nor did I need to think about the time before last I had put myself out there in such a way. Marcus and I weren't ready for that kind of conversation and I hoped we never would be.
"I'm fine," I croaked out. "Just having a bit of a girly moment. These happen all the time, don't worry about it."
I hoped he believed me, because I absolutely did not want to explain myself.