by Holly Rayner
When a single tear escaped her lashes, I reached out to catch it on my index finger. I watched the droplet tremble, mesmerized by the flash of light as it caught the overheads illuminating the stage.
That tear was so much like Tanya herself. Beautiful, delicate, strong. Salty, but sweet, just like the woman in my arms.
“It is I who should be thanking you.”
“No. Never.”
“In the years since Eloisa’s death, I have despaired of ever finding a woman who would treat my daughter and me as you have since your arrival. I’ve been disappointed each time I thought I found a woman who would fit into our lives. Rather, they tried to disrupt the way we live and force us to make a new place for them.”
“You’re both quite easy to be around, you know. I adore Rey. She’s the kind of child I hope to have someday. Smart, sweet, loving, and ready to try just about anything.”
“She definitely is all of that,” I said. “And she adores you right back.”
I leaned in and brushed my lips over hers. A thrill of electricity zinged up my spine, and before I could stop myself, I was claiming Tanya’s lips for my own. But now was not the time or place, so I broke away from her sweet kisses and finished our dance.
When the music stopped, we applauded gratefully for their expert skill. The musicians and conductor bowed and left us to our privacy.
“I want you, Tanya. Will you let me join you in your hotel tonight?”
“What about Rey? She’s alone at the penthouse.”
“No, her usual nanny arrived just after we left. I am free to indulge myself with you tonight.”
“Then, yes. Please, join me.”
Chapter 21
Tanya
The limo ride was a blur of the taste of Raul’s kisses and the lights of the city as we passed through on our way to the hotel from El Real.
I still couldn’t believe I’d actually seen an opera in one of the most famous opera houses in the world, on the arm of a man important enough to have his own box and to arrange for part of the orchestra to serenade us as we danced on the stage.
Marco opened the door for us at the hotel and winked at me as Raul led us into the lobby, kissing me again as the elevator doors closed in front of us. That kiss sealed my fate in more ways than one, and it lasted from the lobby to my floor where we got off the elevator and made our way down the hall to my room.
I fumbled my key out of the tiny purse I’d carried to the opera and pushed the door open as Raul wrapped his arms around me from behind. He pushed us into the room, let the door close behind us, and trailed his lips along my neck and down my shoulders.
I trembled in his arms and let him lead the way to the bed where he slowly undressed me, from the beautiful jewelry he’d loaned me to the undergarments he told me were now mine.
“You were the most beautiful woman at the opera tonight, Tanya.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“It is, because you are not only lovely to behold, but also beautiful of heart.”
“I think I’m getting a cavity,” I said, grinning at him.
“I don’t understand,” he said, brow furrowed. “What have your teeth to do with how I feel about you?”
“I forget that some sayings don’t translate. It means you’re being far too sweet. I’m just a regular woman, you know.”
“Tanya, you are anything but regular.”
I lost the next hour in his kisses and caresses, our bodies joining in the age-old manner of men and women. After, we lay together, my head on his chest, our hands tracing patterns on each other’s bodies. My eyes fluttered closed, and I drifted closer and closer to sleep.
“I could get used to this,” I heard Raul say.
My eyes snapped open as though someone had pressed a button. I’d been within moments of serene sleep, but I was now wide awake, my heart racing and thudding against my ribs.
“What?” I asked as I leaned up on my elbow to look Raul in the eyes.
“You’ve fit yourself perfectly into my life. I really think I could get used to having you here, with me, always.”
“I…” Guilt washed over me, leaving me in a cold sweat.
What had I done to this man? What would happen to him and Rey when I left and they couldn’t find Tanya Stanton in New York, or anywhere else. And how would he feel when he realized what I’d done when Arlen revealed his revamped project and built it on the land I was supposed to sell to Raul?
His earnest eyes stared holes into my soul as I grappled with what to say. I was saved when my cell phone erupted with a strident text message ringtone. I snatched the phone from the dresser where I’d laid my purse earlier.
“What is it?” Raul asked. His brows had furrowed and pinched in while he waited for some type of response from me following his declaration.
I held the phone out for him to see. The airline had rescheduled my flight now that the airline workers had ended their strike. I was leaving first thing in the morning.
“I thought you were staying until Friday?” Raul said.
“My lawyers have asked that I return sooner. I was waiting until I had a rescheduled flight to tell you. I’m sorry. I really wish I could stay.”
Raul sat up, swinging his feet to the floor, and reached for the shirt he’d discarded on the chair earlier.
“You don’t have to go,” I said. “I thought you were going to stay the night?”
“I think it better if I return to the penthouse for the rest of the night. I will come back in the morning with Marco, and we will take you to the airport.”
A fist closed around my heart. I wasn’t going to get my last night with Raul. He was hurt and was going to lash out so I felt something like he was feeling.
I’d let myself get too far gone in this job. I didn’t want to go back to New York, not now that I was fairly certain Raul felt as I did about our budding relationship. But I had no choice. I had responsibilities at home. A job to complete. A mother to move into her new home.
“You don’t have to. I can take a taxi to the airport.”
Raul held up a hand before going back to pulling on and securing his pants.
“I’ll accompany you to the gate and see you off as a gentleman should. I’ll be here an hour before you need to be at the airport. I won’t take no for an answer.”
I pulled the hotel robe on, belting it tightly at my waist and then handed Raul his shoes. He slid his feet into them and then stood up, fully dressed and ready to leave me.
The thought closed my throat around a rock of sorrow. He was leaving and only coming back out of a sense of duty. I may have entertained the idea of staying with Raul, of loving him and his daughter, for only a moment, but now that the possibility had been taken from me, I felt as though my life had come to an end.
Raul moved to walk past me, but I stepped in front of him, placing my hand on his chest to stop him.
“Please, Raul, know that if it were at all possible, I would stay with you. I wish with everything that I am that I could stay. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”
“I’m not hurt,” he snapped.
Though his tone was a shot straight to my heart, I knew his words lied. I could see it in the set of his shoulders and the shadow in his eyes.
Raul gently stepped around me and reached for the door.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, closing the door behind him.
Chapter 22
Tanya
“American Airlines Flight 69 ready to depart. Please proceed to the boarding gate now.”
I looked at the boarding gate where people had stood and were now pressing together at the small table where a harried-looking attendant was checking boarding passes.
“Why are airports so damn loud?” Raul snapped. He’d been edgy since I’d opened the hotel room door an hour earlier.
“I don’t know. Maybe because they’re filled with people.”
I stared at the gate, trying to avoid looking at Raul
and sensing his unhappiness. I could tell he wanted to ask me something, or say something, but he was holding back.
“What did you tell Rey?” I asked.
“Nothing. She was sleeping when I got back last night and hadn’t yet woken up when I left this morning.”
“What will you tell her when you get back?”
Raul shook his head. He grasped my shoulders and forced me to meet his eyes.
“What am I supposed to tell her, Tanya? You’re the first woman in my life and hers with whom she bonded, and now you’re gone, without so much as a fare-thee-well. What should I tell her? What can I tell her?”
He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. When he opened them, the pain in them was a knife to my gut.
“Will you come back?” he asked. “Come back to me and to Rey?”
I took a deep breath and let it out as slowly as I could.
“I would love to, but we have to be realistic. I have responsibilities…”
I stopped. I’d nearly blurted out that I needed to move my mother, whom Raul believed dead, and needed to meet with clients. It was far too dangerous for me to remain near Raul. He brought down my defenses, something I needed to maintain if I were going to get home and be finished with this job.
“The lawyers want me to meet with a few other possible buyers for the land. I have to be in Paris next week.”
Raul held up his hand to ward off further speech on my part.
“I understand responsibilities. I have many of them myself.”
“Last call for American Airlines flight 69, Madrid to Miami, Florida. Last call.”
I looked back and forth between Raul and the gate. The attendant was staring me down, beckoning me to the gate, but I couldn’t walk away from Raul. I simply couldn’t force my feet to move away from him.
“I’ll miss you, Tanya.”
He pulled me into his arms and bent his head to claim my lips. My head swirled as he took possession of my lips, and my soul.
He helped me to stand upright and then gently pushed me toward the gate.
“Go. Come back someday, if you can.”
I took two steps toward the gate and turned back.
“Tell Rey I’m sorry I had to leave so quickly.”
“I will.”
The gate attendant cleared her throat and shot me a significant look. I held up a finger to her and looked back at Raul.
“I am so very sorry, Raul. For everything. Please forgive me.”
“Go, they’re closing the door.”
Chapter 23
Raul
The jetway door slammed closed behind Tanya, and a knife-stab of agony shot through my chest. I sat down hard on the sofa where I had just held Tanya’s hand for the last time.
What the hell was wrong with me? Why had I opened up to this woman? Left myself open to this kind of pain? And what was I going to tell Rey when I saw her later today? That Tanya had gone without even saying goodbye?
I’d walled my emotions off for five years, believed there would never be another woman to whom I could open my heart, and yet Tanya had been that woman. I had seen a future with her as something I could have. To have it snatched away without any way for me to hold on, was simply too much.
I stalked out of the first-class lounge and made my way to where Marco waited with the limo. Rey would be happy to spend the day with her friends, and I could try to find a way to tell her Tanya had gone without breaking my daughter’s heart.
“Take me to the office, Marco.”
Marco nodded. He pulled the limo into traffic and we rode in silence for several minutes.
“Would she not stay for you and your daughter, señor?”
“I think she couldn’t rather than wouldn’t.”
“I see. Perhaps she will return?”
I shook my head and forced myself to come to terms with the thought myself.
“She won’t be returning, Marco. She’s gone for good.”
Marco said nothing more, not even when he left me in front of my office building. I could sense his desire to say something, to offer some way I could have stopped Tanya from leaving, but he didn’t speak the words.
I spent the day at my desk, going over the deal Tanya had attempted to get me to agree to. There was no advantage for me in it. In fact, it would have cost me much more than the land was worth to possess it. Why had I even considered it?
“Because you’re a fool,” I muttered.
“Señor, did you say something?” Gabriela asked as she set my lunch on my desk.
“No. Thank you, Gabriela. Do I have any more appointments today?”
“No, señor.”
“Can you please let me know when Tanya’s flight lands in New York?”
“Of course. I’ve had a phone call from the nanny staying with Rey today. She asked if she could bring Rey to your office. Apparently, your daughter is a bit restless.”
“I think it’s best if Rey stays home today.”
“I’ll let the nanny know.”
I couldn’t face Rey yet. I still didn’t know what to tell her, how to explain that Tanya had left without a word of goodbye to her. This feeling of helplessness was a big part of why I hadn’t dated much since Eloisa’s death. I hated knowing something was going to hurt my daughter, but having no way of stopping the inevitable.
When she was older, I hoped Rey would come to understand that adult relationships were difficult creatures to nurture—and how an adult felt about a child was completely different from how they might feel about another adult. I had no doubt that Tanya cared for Rey, but without the will to stay with me, she’d had to leave Rey behind and make the break as clean as possible.
For now, however, I knew I’d have a heartbroken child on my hands for at least several days. I would have to be strong for her, and could only hope to find my own peace somewhere along the way.
Chapter 24
Tanya
The flight attendant leaned over me and patted my shoulder.
“Señorita, we are descending into Miami.”
“What?” I looked around, waiting for my brain to click on where I was and why I was here.
“Miami, señorita, we’re descending now. You’ll need to catch your connecting flight.”
“Right, right. Thank you.” I handed her the plate and cup that were on my tray table.
“Gracias,” she said as she took the items from me.
I watched as the pretty woman made her way to the galley at the front of the plane and deposited the tableware into a container. Then she sat in a jump seat and strapped herself in as the plane tilted toward the ground.
I sat up and tried to wrap my head around being back in the U.S. I planned to call my mom as soon as I was off this plane to let her know I was almost home. I needed her, needed her advice when I could bring myself to tell her what I’d done. I needed a hug and a piece of Tandy cake.
I needed to contact Arlen, too. I was hoping to have some type of heads-up before he released the announcement that he’d been awarded the contract for the apartment project. I wanted to be able to brace myself for the inevitable fallout when Raul realized he’d been duped.
Guilt choked me. I’d hurt a good man. I was going to have to pay for it at some point. I needed to prepare for the reckoning and work on some sort of atonement when it came.
I thanked the flight attendants as I left the plane and whipped out my cell phone the minute I was clear of the jetway. I dialed my mother’s number and waited while it rang.
“Tanya, are you home?” my mother answered with no preamble.
“Not quite, but I’m almost there. I have a short layover in Miami and then I’ll be home tonight.”
“Will you come by? I want to hear all about your trip.”
“I think I’ll need to sleep tonight, but I’d love to do lunch with you tomorrow. I can’t wait to see your new home.”
“It’s beautiful, Tanya. Your friend was so kind to help get my move put together. He sent a whole c
rew to help me pack, and they carried everything out.”
“Good. I’ll be sure to thank him. So lunch, tomorrow?”
“Definitely, honey. Call before you head over, okay?”
“I will. I love you, Ma.”
“I love you, too.”
I hung up and dialed Arlen Cooper’s number next. I stopped at the gate for the connecting flight to JFK and stepped into the first-class lounge. I sat at the bar and waited for Arlen to answer.
“Why are you calling me?” he answered.
I cringed. “I just wanted to let you know I’m back in the States.”
“Great, then our business is complete. If there’s anything left in that expense account, consider it a tip.”
“Thank you, Mr. Cooper. I was wondering…”
“What? I’m a busy man, you know.”
“I, well, I hoped you’d be willing to let me know when the announcement was going to be made. In case there’s any fallout, I’d like to know when to brace myself.”
“Fallout, why would there be fallout? What did you do?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to be aware of when you’d announce your successful acquisition of the bid.”
“Not that it should matter to you, but we’re announcing in about a week. We break ground a month after the announcement.”
“That’s great. Thank you, Mr. Cooper, for everything you did for me. My mother says she loves her new apartment.”
“Great. Is that all, Ms. Owens?”
“Yes.”
“Then there’s no reason for me to ever hear from you again, right?”
“Right.”
He hung up. I stared at my phone. Some welcome home. Well, at least the tip he’d given me was enough to pay the rent on my apartment and my office for two months. That was one less thing I had to worry about for a little while.
I checked the clock behind the bar, saw I had at least an hour before my flight, and ordered a shot of tequila. The bartender looked at me a little funny when I asked him if he had Clase Azul Ultra.