by Holly Rayner
I could see him working out what I said and coming to the same conclusion I had presented to him. We were going to have a baby. But how would that work? He hated me, thought I was nothing but a liar and a cheat.
The tears rushed out of me at the speed of light, and suddenly I was sobbing into my hands. Raul’s touch on my shoulder was so gentle it did nothing but make me cry harder. He lifted my chin to bring my eyes up to meet his.
“Please don’t cry, Tanya. You’re breaking my heart.”
The nurse came back and presented me with a paper to sign so we could leave. I signed it and looked to Raul.
“What now?” I asked.
“Is there someplace we can go to talk? I think we have a few more issues to address.”
The nurse smiled at me. “There’s a café around the corner.”
I nodded and smiled at Raul. “Shall we?”
Raul offered me his hand so I could hop off the bed. We then followed the instructions the nurse gave us to the large coffee shop, where we took seats in a plush seating area. Raul crossed his long legs before turning those green lasers on me. He made a hand motion I took to mean “go ahead,” so I did.
“Raul, I’m so sorry I hurt you. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I was desperate. My mother had to be moved, and I didn’t have the resources necessary to make it happen. Arlen offered me what I needed to take care of her, so I took it. I wanted to take it all back the minute I went through with it, but that would have meant giving up what my mother needed. No matter what I feel for you and Rey, my mother had to come first. I know you can understand that. You might not want to, but I know you can and do.”
“Go on,” he said when I paused.
“I would do anything to make it up to you, to take back what I’ve done. But I also understood when I left that I was leaving behind any chance I had at happiness with you. The only reason I was able to that was because my mom was taken care of.”
“I can understand your need to care for your family. I just don’t know that I can forgive what it cost my daughter and me.”
The fist around my heart squeezed tight once and then let go. It was nothing less than I had expected, and maybe even a little more than I had hoped for. He wasn’t certain he would be unable to forgive me. That meant he had at least thought about forgiving me.
“Well, I suppose we have to consider what to do about the baby,” Raul said after a few moments of silence had passed between us.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” I said.
“I will not shirk my responsibilities as it applies to you and the child, provided a DNA test assures me the child is mine.”
That kick to the gut hit hard and low. He didn’t believe me when I said he was the only possible father. That hurt, but I had to admit I couldn’t blame him for his doubt. I’d done some very serious damage to him and his heart.
“I’m willing to do whatever you need to show you I’m not lying about the baby.”
“Very well. That being the case, I want to fly you to Madrid in a couple of weeks so my doctors there can perform the test. I’ll cover the expenses.
“Thank you. I can do that.”
“Good. Do you need a car to return to your home now? I’m going to go back to my hotel and make the arrangements.”
“I’m fine. I’ll call a rideshare and make sure my assistant is all right with handling the business while I’m gone. How long do you think I’ll be in Madrid with you?”
“You won’t be with me, Tanya, you’ll be at a hotel. This is not forgiveness. This is me being pragmatic.”
At a loss for an answer, I simply nodded, choking back tears.
Chapter 32
Raul
I stalked out of the coffee shop and hailed a taxi before Tanya could turn those translucent blue eyes on me again. I knew I couldn’t hold off forgiving her if she cried again. Seeing her hurting that much had truly broken my heart. I could believe her story more having seen her lose her iron control. That didn’t mean I was ready to forgive her, because I wasn’t, but now there was another wrinkle in the issue.
I was going to be a father again. Part of me wanted to celebrate, to announce it to the world. I wanted to call Rey and tell her she was going to have a brother or sister. She would be thrilled, especially if it meant Tanya was going to come back to us.
I stopped that line of thought in its tracks. I had to stay focused and keep sentiment from influencing my decisions. Should the DNA test prove I was the father, I would do everything in my power to give the child the best life he or she could have. But that wouldn’t change the fact that Tanya had betrayed me.
The taxi stopped in front of the hotel, and I stepped out. I paid the driver and turned to enter the hotel. The manager behind the reception desk waved me down as I came through the door, so I detoured to meet up with him.
“Señor Jimenez, you had a few phone calls while you were out. Here are your messages. If there’s anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
“I’d like to have a car waiting for me in the morning. I will be checking out and heading home.”
“Very good, sir. I’ll see to it.”
“Thanks.”
I took the elevator to my floor, and as soon as the door closed behind me, I let my guard down and was flooded with emotion.
I was going to be a father again. I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around that. I was getting a little long in the tooth to be a dad, but I could still have fun with a child. I could picture teaching a daughter how to set up her tea set, as I had with Rey. Or a boy, all the great activities I could do with a boy. Sports and later, girls and following in my footsteps with the company.
“You’ve always been a great father, mi corazón.” I shook my head. I remembered Eloisa telling me that years ago.
Could I be wonderful with this child, as well?
I wanted to believe these thoughts were true. That I could handle being a father again and to Tanya’s child. That we’d find a middle ground where we could share the raising of the child and maybe, in time, I could even learn to forgive her.
I set up my laptop and began making arrangements for Tanya’s visit to Madrid. This was not something I wanted to ask Gabriela to handle for me. I bought the plane ticket and booked the hotel, then I messaged my doctor’s office. My phone rang a few minutes later.
“Señor Jimenez, is everything all right with you?” my doctor asked.
“Sí, I am well. I simply need to have some blood drawn for a test.”
“We can definitely handle that for you, señor. Will you come into the office, or should I send someone to your penthouse?”
“I’ll come to the office, thank you. I’ll need to have blood drawn from someone else as well. I want a paternity test completed as quickly as it can be.”
“I see, señor. We will accommodate you, of course. We will see you next week.”
I hung up and sat back with a sigh. It was so good to have things in my life under control again. Tanya had introduced chaos into what had been an orderly life. For the time being, at least, a few phone calls could put things back on track.
I turned back to my computer and opened an email to Tanya. I shared the details of her flight, hotel, and the appointment with my doctors before I hit send.
That done, I packed all my clothes into my suitcase and prepared everything for my departure in the morning. It was good to be going home.
Chapter 33
Tanya
Two Weeks Later – June
“To what do I owe the honor?” Ma asked when she opened the door.
“I can’t stop by to visit my mother just because?”
“You can, but you don’t. Don’t you have to be on a plane in a few hours?”
I slumped down on the sofa in Ma’s living room. I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to lie down and let my mother brush my hair off my forehead until I fell asleep.
Two weeks had passed since Raul had put
me in a rideshare car outside the coffee shop. I’d gone home, cried until my eyes were so swollen I couldn’t open them, and then slept for twelve hours straight. I’d awakened to the email from Raul containing all the travel details for my trip to Madrid. That had set off another bout of hysterical crying that had left me weak and trembling. I’d called Phil and asked him to run the office for me as I wasn’t up to coming in. I’d spent three days on the couch, watching daytime television, crying, and eating.
Now, I wanted to be comforted. I wanted someone to hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right. I wanted my mother.
The cursed tears welled up in my eyes as Ma sat beside me on the couch. She saw them and opened her arms to me. I fell against her chest and sobbed as her arms closed around me.
“Honey, what’s the matter?”
I wiped my face with both hands and hitched in a breath.
“I told you I’d done something terrible. Well, I’m being punished for it now.”
Ma’s hand stroked down my back, and she squeezed me tight.
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as all that. Why don’t you tell me all about it?”
I shook my head and tucked it against my mother’s chest. How could I tell her what I’d done and why? And what about the baby? Was she ready to be a grandmother? How would she feel about me raising the baby by myself? I sobbed again, and my mother squeezed me one more time and got up.
“What do you want to eat?” she asked.
I lifted my head and gave her a quizzical look.
“I know you’re hungry, I heard your belly,” she said firmly. “I think I have some ice cream or some macaroni and cheese I made last night.”
“Mac and cheese?” I looked up to find my mother grinning down at me.
“That’s my girl. I knew you were in there somewhere. Let me warm up some mac and cheese, and you can eat and tell me all about everything.”
In minutes I was sitting at the tiny table in the corner of my mother’s apartment, spooning up mac and cheese, and dreading the beginning of the conversation I knew I was going to have to have with my mother sooner rather than later.
Ma sat across from me, a small bowl of pasta in front of her.
“This is really good, Ma. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, honey. Now, tell me what’s going on with you. I love you, no matter what. You know that, right?”
I nodded and tried to collect my thoughts. I looked around the apartment. This was the fruit of my evil actions. It had been worth it to put my mother into a comfortable place like this.
“You remember the job I took that sent me to Madrid?”
“I do.”
“Well, that job was for Arlen Cooper.”
“The real estate developer? Doesn’t he own this place?’
“He does. In fact, this place is a big part of why I took the job in the first place. You couldn’t stay in the old apartment any longer. I dreaded getting a phone call about you falling down those damn stairs.”
Ma reached across the table and took my hand.
“Oh, honey, you didn’t have to do this for me. I was fine in the old place. I was adjusting to the stairs.”
“But you shouldn’t have to adjust. You should live somewhere you’re comfortable and safe, like here.”
Ma gave me a nod and waited for me to go on.
“So I went to Madrid to meet with Raul Jimenez, the real estate developer who was supposed to build the Angel Tower. Arlen wanted that contract and to get it, he wanted Raul’s plans and models for his design. Arlen sent me to steal them.”
I glanced up to gauge my mother’s reaction, but she was pointedly looking at her mac and cheese.
“I went to Madrid and met Raul and…” I took a deep breath. “And his daughter, Rey. We did a little sight-seeing and used book shopping, and Raul took me dancing, and to the opera. I fell for him. Hard.”
“Mmhmm.”
“And then I took the photos Arlen wanted and sent them to him.”
“So you fell for a guy and then betrayed him?”
“That about sums it up.”
My shoulders slumped and tears burned my eyes yet again.
“And you did all that for me?”
“Uh-huh.”
The hug was hard, fast, and tight. Tears splashed down on my shoulder from my mother sobbing over me.
“Ma! Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“I love you so much.”
She shook me a little with her hug.
“You did all of that for me, so I could live here?”
“It’s important to me that you’re happy and safe, Ma.”
She sniffed, and I giggled.
“We’re a pair, aren’t we? Sniffling with each other, crying on each other. Did you say you had some ice cream?”
Ma wiped her face and went to the freezer where she pulled out a pint of chocolate chip ice cream. She grabbed two spoons from the drawer and brought it all back to the table. She sat beside me and we dug in.
“Is that everything you needed to tell me?”
“Well, actually, no.”
“What else is there?”
“I fell in love with Raul.”
“I got that.”
“We had sex.”
“I figured that, too.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Ma’s spoon clattered to the table and a scream three decibels above what I believed her to be capable of echoed through the apartment. Thirty seconds later, someone knocked on the door.
“Nina! Nina! Are you all right? Do you need me to call the medics?”
“I’m fine, Barb. I’m going to be a grandma!”
“I guess that means you’re happy about the baby,” I chimed in.
“Happy? I’m ecstatic! I never thought you’d decide to have a baby, sweetie. You couldn’t seem to settle on a single guy, so I figured it would be a while.”
“It doesn’t matter that the father is a man who lives in Madrid? A man who hates me?”
“You’ll work that out, I’m sure. You’re very resourceful. But it’s a baby, Tanya. Is it a boy or a girl? When is it due? Can I throw the baby shower here?”
“Whoa, Ma, slow down. I’m only two months pregnant. I have an appointment with a doctor in Madrid while I’m there this time.”
“And why are you going all the way to Spain to see this doctor?”
“Because Raul wants his doctor to perform the paternity test.”
“He doesn’t believe he’s the father?”
“Well, I did go to bed with him with little preamble, and then I betrayed him. Can you blame him?”
“I guess not. What happens when he’s the father?”
“I have no idea. He said he won’t shirk his duty. I guess we’ll figure it out when the test comes back.”
“Well, no matter what, I’m here for you, honey. I want to be in that baby’s life every single day.”
I stood up and hugged Ma hard.
“I love you, Ma. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Is it normal that I’m terrified?”
“It’s very normal, honey. And unnecessary. Look how you’ve taken care of me. That’s what motherhood is. It’s making sure your child is cared for, no matter what.”
“So I should expect to throw my morals out the window again at some point in my life?”
“Probably, but I know you better than that. You’ll find better ways in the future, I’m sure.”
“Thanks, Ma.”
“So, the baby shower? Here, when you get back? I’ll invite all the ladies, and they’ll bring their daughters if they can. Do you have anyone I should invite? Should I go with neutral colors or will you know if it’s a boy or a girl by then?”
“Whoa, take a breath, Ma! Neutral colors are easier to plan, and I’d like to invite Phil and his partner, too. He’ll make my life miserable if I don’t.”
“Can I bring you a glass of champagne?” The flight attendant gave me her best vague smile.
>
I shook my head. “No, thank you. But I would love a lemon soda and a couple of extra bags in case my stomach decides flying disagrees with pregnancy.”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh, you’re pregnant? I couldn’t even tell. How far along are you?”
“Two months or so.”
“I’ll get that soda and the bags for you. If you need anything, just let me know. Do you want an extra pillow for your back?”
“I’d love one, thank you.”
“No problem. I’ll be right back.”
I took my seat and blessed Raul for being kind enough to book me a first-class flight. Twelve hours in coach might have killed me. At least up here, I could stretch out and try to sleep.
After my mother stopped planning the baby shower and started on baby names, I managed to get out of the apartment and back to mine so I could get in the rideshare to the airport. My emotions warred with one another the entire ride. I wanted to see Raul, but I knew he wouldn’t be happy to see me. He was only acting out of a sense of duty. He didn’t love me, didn’t want me, and would never have seen me again if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.
Tears closed my throat, and I forced myself to take deep breaths until it opened up again. I didn’t want to arrive in Madrid looking like death warmed over. I had one chance to maybe make Raul reconsider. I didn’t want to start with tired eyes.
I accepted the drink and pillow from the flight attendant and settled into the lounger seat. I scrolled through the entertainment choices and picked a movie I knew would put me right to sleep, then I put the headphones on and settled back to doze.
Chapter 34
Raul
“Papi, will you pick me up from ballet tonight?” Rey asked after she sat down at the breakfast table.
“I can’t, darling. I must go to the airport this evening, remember?”
“To pick up Tanya! When can I see her?”
Something tightened around my heart. Rey had instantly forgiven Tanya when I’d told her what had transpired between us. She wanted me to do the same thing, but I just couldn’t bring myself to be that forgiving.