“Aria?” Kace prods.
I snap back to him and say, “I want to do this. I’m tired of living like this. I need to just be me. I do. I need it desperately and I believe Gio does as well. Besides, now that I’m in your life this fake persona and skulking around in the shadows is not fair to you.”
“Me?” He sets the mug down. “This isn’t about me, Aria. I’m not worried about me. If you decide you don’t want to come forward, then we move forward with another plan.”
“I’m going to come forward.” It’s out without hesitation. I guess this really is my choice. I’ve chosen. I’m going to be me. “But,” I add. “I’m going to talk to Gio in advance.” I grab my phone and glance at my messages, and I’m not surprised at what I find. Gio hasn’t replied. “He’s not coming to breakfast. I need to go see him, Kace. Alone.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
My decision.
Those words keep replaying in my head as Kace and I undress in front of the shower. Perhaps, I think, because my denial of my own choices had been an automatic lie, but one I’ve convinced myself is the truth. Yes, I’m living in a maze created by someone else, but I never even looked for a door. I followed everyone, my mother included, who said that a door was a bad choice.
I’m remotely aware of Kace turning on the water, but I’m thinking of Gio. I don’t know what it is about meeting Gio alone that feels uncomfortable, but it does. It’s almost as if my mind is trying to tell me something and I resist hearing the message. I need out of my own head. I need that unnamed something that we all need when we’re trying to cope with a piece of ourselves that isn’t comfortable.
And while I know that Kace would give me a safe place to just let go, right now, I need control. So much so that when Kace catches my arm and guides me into the shower, I know he’s about to press me into the corner and fuck me, I never give him the chance. I push him against the wall, the spray of warm water on my back. The hard length of him against my front. I’m taking charge. Not him. Not this time.
“What are you doing, Aria?”
“Give and take,” I say. “We have to give and take. And right now, I’m going to do both.” His eyes narrow but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t try and claim the control I’ve so clearly claimed as my own. He, like no one else, understands me. Slowly I slide down his body, absorbing every inch of muscle I can in the process until I am on my knees. My hair is now wet, clinging to my back, while his thick erection now juts at my shoulder. And when my lips tease it, just barely tease it, his soft intake of breath empowers me all the more. I close my hand around his shaft and brush my lips over his belly. His lashes lower and lift. He stares down at me with a heavy-lidded stare, the pulse of his desire in my hand, and etched in his handsome face.
I don’t tease him or me.
I know where he was last night, what headspace, and it was right here where I’m at now—on the edge, standing on a rubber band, and that band is about to break. I want him to know that he doesn’t always have to be in control, that he can let go, too. And I want him to know that sometimes, I can’t let him have control, just like he can’t let me. He never really came down last night and perhaps I didn’t, either. We both need a hard and fast rush, a release.
I draw the soft head of his taut erection into my mouth—the salty taste of his arousal teases my tongue. He pants out a breath and his hand is instantly on my head. Aroused by the very idea that he is this aroused, I draw him deeper.
“More,” he murmurs, and I know, I know he understands that I don’t want him to hold back. That’s exactly what I don’t want. I want him to let go. I want him to let go because I made him let go. I take more of him, my grip tightening on the base of his shaft.
My gaze lifts and there is a grit to his teeth, a taut line above his lip. “Aria,” he whispers, and I suckle him. “Harder,” he orders, his tone rough, urgent. I draw him in, sucking harder, and he pumps against me, thrusting toward the back of my throat, and I have this sense of Kace unleashed, of an animalistic piece of him that he restrains with me, but that I’ve unleashed. The salty taste of him expands, the pulse of his cock intensifies, and just when I think he will come, he doesn’t.
He catches my shoulder, lifts me, and when I would protest, I’m already against the wall, my leg at his hip, and he’s thrusting inside me. I don’t have any sense of him stealing my control at all. He’s filling me and it’s what I need, and it feels like what he needs, too. It’s rough and wild and demanding, and so many things I cannot name. It’s right. So very right. He’s right. We are right.
And when it’s over, we have somehow ended up on the floor of the shower, me on top of him, me in control. My face is buried in his neck when he says, “Tell me that gave you what you needed. Tell me it helped, that I helped.”
I lean back and stare down at him, and this is one of those moments when I appreciate the complexity of this man who can be tender and demanding, sweet and yet hard, and with it his ability to know when to take and give control. “You did,” I whisper. “You so did.”
And in the process, he’s sent me a message. With him, I’m finally able to be any version of myself I want to be. In a lifetime of limits, I have none with him. And that’s how I need to live and how I need to dictate my decisions, and they are mine to make.
***
Post shower, Kace and I are at the bathroom sink, him shaving while I flat iron my hair. I’m in a pink silk robe and he’s in nothing but a towel. He’s shaving and there is this new, raw intimacy between us that I cannot explain. Every time I think Kace and I can’t get closer, we do. It’s rather surreal considering that every time I think Gio and I cannot grow further apart, we do. My mind tracks back to yesterday in the shop, to our fight. I don’t believe a word he said. I’m admitting that to myself now and it’s not a fun place to be.
“Hey.”
At Kace’s gentle prodding, I blink him into view to realize that I’m staring at myself in the mirror with the flat iron in the air.
“You okay, baby?”
I nod. “Yes. Just—I was thinking about Gio.” My cellphone buzzes with a text and I reach for it where it lays on the counter when Kace asks, “Gio?”
“Savage,” I say, reading the message out loud: Gio is back at McDonald’s eating three egg McMuffins and a stack of pancakes and sausage. He’s not coming to breakfast. I don’t like to lose bets. Want me to wrestle the egg McMuffins from him and force him to come to you?
I text Savage back with: I’m best equipped to kick my brother’s ass, and I’ll enjoy it more than you. So just wait, before I glance at Kace and say, “I told Savage to just hold up, but I swear, Kace, I’d go wrestle the food from his mouth myself if I thought I could get there before he leaves.”
“Maybe you should give him a day to process me being in your life, baby.”
If I believed Gio was shocked and didn’t know, I might agree, I think, but I don’t know what I believe right now. “I need to give Blake the go ahead and make plans to be me again. That means I need to talk to Gio now, not later.”
Kace wipes the remnants of shaving cream from his face. “Give him one day. We can go ahead and talk to Blake, and make plans.”
I stand and face him, emotions lifting in my voice. “Screw Gio. He came back to protect me, but won’t even talk to me? I don’t believe he’s here for me at all. He’s here for Sofia. Maybe he’s here for you because he believes she’ll get to you first. I don’t know what he’s doing, but I know we aren’t making decisions based on him. Not anymore.”
My cellphone rings and I glance at the caller ID to find Crystal’s number. “Crystal,” I tell Kace. “I’m going to talk to her and then go and see Gio.”
He leans close and kisses me. “Okay.” With that one word, he heads toward the closet.
For some reason, this makes me smile, and I answer the call with that smile in my voice. That’s the power of this man in my life. “Hey, Crystal,” I greet. “Are you back in th
e city?”
“I am,” she says. “And unfortunately, this isn’t a social call. I know what happened with Alexander in San Francisco. I still can’t believe he pulled that crap.”
“Yes,” I agree, sinking back onto the vanity chair, and adding, “it was bad.”
“And it’s not over. He showed up here this morning pissed because he said you offered Ed wine he wasn’t offered.”
I facepalm. “I cannot believe Ed did that to me. He declined the wine to avoid a fight with Alexander. Or so he said. Clearly not.”
“Well, here’s the thing. If you want to sell to Alexander, I can make it happen and spare you the torture.”
“You could do that on your own without giving me a commission. And honestly, I’m of the opinion you should get me out of the middle of this.”
“After that stunt that Alexander pulled, Mark wants to ban him from Riptide, but I’m concerned he might lash out at you guys. Especially,” she adds, “since he lives in your building.”
It’s a reminder I don’t need, or maybe I do. This problem with Alexander isn’t going away and he’s too close to us for comfort. “I’m not sure what to do here, Crystal.”
“Let’s just talk it out. Do you have time to come by today?”
“Yes, sure,” I say, without hesitation. She’s offered me an opportunity I value more than ever now that Gio is back and obviously checked out. “I’d like to step up and do more. What time?”
“Any time is fine. Just text me about fifteen minutes before you get here.”
I open my mouth to warn her about Walker shadowing me and think better. She already knows. They saw Savage at lunch. I want to work with her, not scare her off when Alexander is doing a fine job of that himself. Instead, I simply say, “I will. See you soon.”
I disconnect and rotate to stare at the closet door, dreading the moment I speak Alexander’s name to Kace once again but I won’t keep this from him. Stuffing my feet in my pink slippers beside the vanity chair, I shuffle to the closet and pause in the door. Kace is holding a black T-shirt that he pulls over his head, the ripple of muscle beneath taut tattooed skin quickly covered by a lion emblem on the tee.
“Everything good with Crystal?” he asks, sitting down on the bench to grab one of his black biker boots.
I sit down next to him and lead up to my more direct answer. “Did I tell you my client, Ed, that bought the bracelet passed on the wine I’d found for him through Riptide?”
“Tell me again.” He zips his boot. “Just so I know where this is going, and for the record, I’m already certain it’s to Alexander.”
“Right well, yes. It is. Alexander, if you remember, is always trying to scoop collectible wine from Ed. And Ed wouldn’t buy the wine I offered him from the Riptide vault because he decided he was done playing games with Alexander.”
He pulls on his second boot and zips it up, his hands settling on his knees. “Why do I know that was just part of another game?”
I sigh. “More like why didn’t I know? I should have, though, in my defense, Ed declining the wine did feel off. Long story short, apparently, Ed made it clear to Alexander that I offered him the wine. They are trouble together, but for me, this is about Alexander. Watching the way he obsesses over Ed and you, too, Kace, is unnerving. Do we know what is at the core of this? Or do I really even want to know? Do we care?”
“You’ve managed to get in the middle of them, so yes, we care. Blake owes us an update. I’ll find out. What did Alexander do when he found out you offered Ed the wine?”
“He went to Riptide to raise hell today.”
There’s a slight tightening around his lips. “I’m sure that went over about as well as oil on Mark’s showroom floor.”
“I’m not sure if Mark is involved, at least not yet. Does he know your history with Alexander? He does, right?”
“He does not. Not in its entirety.”
I shift to face him more fully. “But he has your power of attorney. Shouldn’t he know?”
His jaw tics. “Yes.” He changes the topic. “What did Crystal say about Alexander?”
“Mark suggested he ban Alexander from Riptide, but Crystal’s afraid he’ll lash out at us. I want her to just sell him the wine and let me step back from Ed and Alexander. No commission. I just want it over. I don’t want to be in the middle of these two. It feels like trouble.”
He stands up but he doesn’t move away, tension rippling down his back, bunching his shoulders again, and I know why or rather what he’s reacting to: the part about Alexander lashing out. I push to my feet and catch his arm. “Kace?”
He doesn’t immediately look at me. “I’ll call Mark.”
“And say what? I can handle this with Crystal. I really can.”
He rotates, facing me, hands on my shoulders. “This is bigger than wine and a fee you don’t need anymore. I get it that you want the money. You want your own career, and I support you, baby, but will not be captive to Alexander or anyone ever again.”
“Which is exactly why I need to face my battles and fight them.”
“Again, baby, I respect where you’re coming from but Alexander, per your own suggestion, is a potential killer, absolutely a liar, thief, manipulator, and extortionist. I’m calling Mark. You just tell Crystal you need to step back from Ed and Alexander. I don’t want you near this or him.” He surprises me by stepping around me and heading for the door.
“I can’t avoid Alexander and neither can you, Kace. He lives in our building.”
He pauses in the doorway and glances back at me. “Not for long.”
I blink, not sure what Kace means by that. Are we moving? I dismiss that idea the moment I’ve had it, reminded of Kace’s confessions of a brutal side, one he intends to unleash against Alexander.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Brutally.
That’s how Kace said he would handle Alexander. That’s certainly how Alexander has attacked Kace. It’s an eye for an eye, I know, but I can’t help but fear that in the end, Kace will not find the satisfaction he seeks. He’ll only find his father in himself and that is not who he wants to be. He needs his moral compass to guide him, not his anger, and if he acts in the moment—and after San Francisco, he’s in one—it will be with that anger.
For now, I give him his space while I grasp for any form of control I can manage, and standing here in a robe doesn’t seem to fit that plan. I dress. And with a meeting now scheduled for Riptide, that means in business attire. My gaze lifts and scans my clothes where they hang near Kace’s, a pinch in my chest. I’ve never shared a closet with anyone. I’ve never shared a home with anyone. I don’t intend to let Alexander, or Gio for that matter, screw this up for us. And as for all the clothes, there are more now, I think. Yes. The selection has grown.
“Kace,” I murmur, softly chiding him for the personal shopper he’s obviously employed yet again. I’m a mixed bag on this topic. I mean I could complain, but how can I? He loves me. I know he loves me. I feel that love. He’s spoiling me. And he’s just trying to take care of me and I need to do the same of him.
Gio is going to get on board with our plan.
The end.
He’ll find out today.
He’ll agree today.
I quickly dress in a cute pleated black skirt, a black silk blouse and high heeled boots, when my gaze catches on the outrageously expensive Chanel purse that I swore I wouldn’t use. My lips press together and an eternal war rages inside me before I reach for it. Deep in my gut, I believe Kace needs me to show him that I’m here, I’m staying. I’m back to his reasons behind the gifts. Somehow I think—I think this is all part of a war he’s fighting within himself. I’m not sure how or why, but Kace does nothing without a purpose or a demon. And besides, he knows I want to make my own money. He knows I don’t take his for granted.
I fill the purse, a little thrill in me as I do. I love the darn thing. I also love my daisy bracelet, which I quickly la
tch around my wrist on my way out of the bathroom.
Feeling like a princess in all my fancy clothes, I head downstairs, surprised to find Kace standing at the bottom with Blake. I like Blake. I trust Blake. However, his unexpected presence will still always stir that part of me I don’t want to exist, but oh it does. The part that expects the worst.
“Is there news?” I call out before I’m even down the stairs, my heart racing with the idea that something is going on with Gio.
Two sets of intense eyes and a whole lot of testosterone shifts in my direction. “No big news,” Blake replies. “Adrian and Adam will be escorting you today.”
I join them, stepping to Kace’s side and I do not miss the sweep of Kace’s stare over my body from tip to toe. Nor do I miss the approval in those blue eyes. He notices the new clothes. I believe he notices the purse. His fingers catch mine. “All is well, baby.”
“If all is well,” I say, glancing at Blake, “why are you here? I mean, you’re the big boss man for Walker, aren’t you?”
He laughs a low, deep laugh. “My brother Royce would not call me the big boss, but,” he winks, “my wife will if I play my cards right.”
Heat rushes to my cheeks and Kace laughs, sliding an arm around me. “Good thing we aren’t touring with the band anymore. You’d live with those red cheeks.” He kisses my temple. “Blake got us an update.”
“An update?” I untangle myself from Kace and fold my arms in front of me, my gaze locked on Blake. “What update? About Sofia?”
“Nothing on Sofia, but no matter where she is or what she wants, we have men on the ground in Italy preparing for your trip. We’ll keep you safe.”
“We were actually talking about Alexander,” Kace says.
“Right,” Blake agrees. “Kace wanted to know what you’d gotten in the middle of with Ed and Alexander.”
A Sinful Encore (Brilliance Trilogy Book 3) Page 5