CHAPTER XXXII
_The Baron harangues the company, and they continue the pursuit--TheBaron, wandering from his retinue, is taken by the savages, scalped, andtied to a stake to be roasted; but he contrives to extricate himself,and kills the savages--The Baron travels overland through the forests ofNorth America, to the confines of Russia--Arrives at the castle of theNareskin Rowskimowmowsky, and gallops into the kingdom of Loggerheads--Abattle, in which the Baron fights the Nareskin in single combat, andgenerously gives him his life--Arrives at the Friendly Islands, anddiscourses with Omai--The Baron, with all his attendants, goes fromOtaheite to the isthmus of Darien, and having cut a canal across theisthmus, returns to England._
"My friends, and very learned and profound Judiciarii," said I, "be notdisheartened that Wauwau has escaped from you at present: persevere, andwe shall yet succeed. You should never despair, Munchausen being yourgeneral; and therefore be brave, be courageous, and fortune shall secondyour endeavours. Let us advance undaunted in pursuit, and follow thefierce Wauwau even three times round the globe, until we entrap her."
My words filled them with confidence and valour, and they unanimouslyagreed to continue the chase. We penetrated the frightful desertsand gloomy woods of America, beyond the source of the Ohio, throughcountries utterly unknown before. I frequently took the diversion ofshooting in the woods, and one day that I happened with three attendantsto wander far from our troop, we were suddenly set upon by a number ofsavages. As we had expended our powder and shot, and happened to haveno side-arms, it was in vain to make any resistance against hundredsof enemies. In short, they bound us, and made us walk before them toa gloomy cavern in a rock, where they feasted upon what game they hadkilled, but which not being sufficient, they took my three unfortunatecompanions and myself, and scalped us. The pain of losing the flesh frommy head was most horrible; it made me leap in agonies, and roar likea bull. They then tied us to stakes, and making great fires around us,began to dance in a circle, singing with much distortion and barbarity,and at times putting the palms of their hands to their mouths, set upthe war-whoop. As they had on that day also made a great prize of somewine and spirits belonging to our troop, these barbarians, finding itdelicious, and unconscious of its intoxicating quality, began to drinkit in profusion, while they beheld us roasting, and in a very shorttime they were all completely drunk, and fell asleep around the fires.Perceiving some hopes, I used most astonishing efforts to extricatemyself from the cords which I was tied, and at length succeeded. Iimmediately unbound my companions, and though half roasted, they stillhad power enough to walk. We sought about for the flesh that had beentaken off our heads, and having found the scalps, we immediately adaptedthem to our bloody heads, sticking them on with a kind of glue of asovereign quality, that flows from a tree in that country, and the partsunited and healed in a few hours. We took care to revenge ourselves onthe savages, and with their own hatchets put every one of them to death.We then returned to our troop, who had given us up for lost, and theymade great rejoicings on our return. We now proceeded in our journeythrough this prodigious wilderness, Gog and Magog acting as pioneers,hewing down the trees, &c., at a great rate as we advanced. We passedover numberless swamps and lakes and rivers, until at length wediscovered a habitation at some distance. It appeared a dark and gloomycastle, surrounded with strong ramparts, and a broad ditch. We calleda council of war, and it was determined to send a deputation with atrumpet to the walls of the castle, and demand friendship from thegovernor, whoever he might be, and an account if aught he knew ofWauwau. For this purpose our whole caravan halted in the wood, and Gogand Magog reclined amongst the trees, that their enormous strengthand size should not be discovered, and give umbrage to the lord ofthe castle. Our embassy approached the castle, and having demandedadmittance for some time, at length the drawbridge was let down, andthey were suffered to enter. As soon as they had passed the gate it wasimmediately closed after them, and on either side they perceived ranksof halberdiers, who made them tremble with fear. "We come," theherald proclaimed, "on the part of Hilaro Frosticos, Don Quixote,Lord Whittington, and the thrice-renowned Baron Munchausen, to claimfriendship from the governor of this puissant castle, and to seekWauwau." "The most noble the governor," replied the officer, "is at alltimes happy to entertain such travellers as pass through these immensedeserts, and will esteem it an honour that the great Hilaro Frosticos,Don Quixote, Lord Whittington, and the thrice-renowned Baron Munchausen,enter his castle walls."
In short, we entered the castle. The governor sat with all our companyto table, surrounded by his friends, of a very fierce and warlikeappearance. They spoke but little, and seemed very austere and reserved,until the first course was served up. The dishes were brought in bya number of bears walking on their hind-legs, and on every dish was africassee of pistols, pistol-bullets, sauce of gunpowder, and aqua-vitae.This entertainment seemed rather indigestible by even an ostrich'sstomach, when the governor addressed us, and informed me that it wasever his custom to strangers to offer them for the first course aservice similar to that before us; and if they were inclined to acceptthe invitation, he would fight them as much as they pleased, but ifthey could not relish the pistol-bullets, &c., he would conclude thempeaceable, and try what better politeness he could show them in hiscastle. In short, the first course being removed untouched, we dined,and after dinner the governor forced the company to push the bottleabout with alacrity and to excess. He informed us that he was theNareskin Rowskimowmowsky, who had retired amidst these wilds, disgustedwith the court of Petersburgh. I was rejoiced to meet him; I recollectedmy old friend, whom I had known at the court of Russia, when I rejectedthe hand of the Empress. The Nareskin, with all his knights-companions,drank to an astonishing degree, and we all set off upon hobby horsesin full cry out of the castle. Never was there seen such a cavalcadebefore. In front galloped a hundred knights belonging to the castle,with hunting horns and a pack of excellent dogs; and then came theNareskin Rowskimowmowsky, Gog and Magog, Hilaro Frosticos, and yourhumble servant, hallooing and shouting like so many demoniacs, andspurring our hobby horses at an infernal rate until we arrived in thekingdom of Loggerheads. The kingdom of Loggerheads was wilder than anypart of Siberia, and the Nareskin had here built a romantic summer-housein a Gothic taste, to which he would frequently retire with his companyafter dinner. The Nareskin had a dozen bears of enormous stature thatdanced for our amusement, and their chiefs performed the _minuet de lacour_ to admiration. And here the most noble Hilaro Frosticos thoughtproper to ask the Nareskin some intelligence about Wauwau, in quest ofwhom we had travelled over such a tract of country, and encountered somany dangerous adventures, and also invited the Nareskin Rowskimowmowskyto attend us with all his bears in the expedition. The Nareskin appearedastonished at the idea; he looked with infinite hauteur and ferocity onHilaro, and affecting a violent passion asked him, "Did he imaginethat the Nareskin Rowskimowmowsky could condescend to take notice ofa Wauwau, let her fly what way she would! Or did he think a chiefpossessing such blood in his veins could engage in such a foreignpursuit? By the blood and by the ashes of my great grandmother, I wouldcut off your head!"
Hilaro Frosticos resented this oration, and in short a general riotcommenced. The bears, together with the hundred knights, took thepart of the Nareskin, and Gog and Magog, Don Quixote, the Sphinx, LordWhittington, the bulls, the crickets, the judges, the matrons, andHilaro Frosticos, made noble warfare against them.
I drew my sword, and challenged the Nareskin to single combat. Hefrowned, while his eyes sparkled fire and indignation, and bracing abuckler on his left arm, he advanced against me. I made a blow at himwith all my force, which he received upon his buckler, and my swordbroke short.
Ungenerous Nareskin; seeing me disarmed, he still pushed forward,dealing his blows upon me with the utmost violence, which I parried withmy shield and the hilt of my broken sword, and fought like a game-cock.
An enormous bear at the same time attacked me, but I ran my hand stillretaining the
hilt of my broken sword down his throat, and tore up histongue by the roots. I then seized his carcase by the hind-legs, andwhirling it over my head, gave the Nareskin such a blow with his ownbear as evidently stunned him. I repeated my blows, knocking the bear'shead against the Nareskin's head, until, by one happy blow, I got hishead into the bear's jaws, and the creature being still somewhat aliveand convulsive, the teeth closed upon him like nutcrackers. I threw thebear from me, but the Nareskin remained sprawling, unable to extricatehis head from the bear's jaws, imploring for mercy. I gave the wretchhis life: a lion preys not upon carcases.
At the same time my troop had effectually routed the bears and the restof their adversaries. I was merciful, and ordered quarter to be given.
At that moment I perceived Wauwau flying at a great height through theheavens, and we instantly set out in pursuit of her, and never stoppeduntil we arrived at Kamschatka; thence we passed to Otaheite. I met myold acquaintance Omai, who had been in England with the great navigator,Cook, and I was glad to find he had established Sunday schools overall the islands. I talked to him of Europe, and his former voyage toEngland. "Ah!" said he, most emphatically, "the English, the cruelEnglish, to murder me with goodness, and refine upon my torture--took meto Europe, and showed me the court of England, the delicacy of exquisitelife; they showed me gods, and showed me heaven, as if on purpose tomake me feel the loss of them."
From these islands we set out, attended by a fleet of canoes withfighting-stages and the chiefest warriors of the islands, commanded byOmai. Thus the chariot of Queen Mab, my team of bulls and the crickets,the ark, the Sphinx, and the balloons, with Hilaro Frosticos, Gog andMagog, Lord Whittington, and the Lord Mayor's show, Don Quixote, &c.,with my fleet of canoes, altogether cut a very formidable appearance onour arrival at the Isthmus of Darien. Sensible of what general benefitit would be to mankind, I immediately formed a plan of cutting a canalacross the isthmus from sea to sea.
For this purpose I drove my chariot with the greatest impetuosityrepeatedly from shore to shore, in the same track, tearing up the rocksand earth thereby, and forming a tolerable bed for the water. Gog andMagog next advanced at the head of a million of people from the realmsof North and South America, and from Europe, and with infinite labourcleared away the earth, &c., that I had ploughed up with my chariot.I then again drove my chariot, making the canal wider and deeper, andordered Gog and Magog to repeat their labour as before. The canal beinga quarter of a mile broad, and three hundred yards in depth, I thoughtit sufficient, and immediately let in the waters of the sea. I didimagine, that from the rotatory motion of the earth on its axis fromwest to east the sea would be higher on the eastern than the westerncoast, and that on the uniting of the two seas there would be a strongcurrent from the east, and it happened just as I expected. The sea camein with tremendous magnificence, and enlarged the bounds of the canal,so as to make a passage of some miles broad from ocean to ocean, andmake an island of South America. Several sail of trading vessels andmen-of-war sailed through this new channel to the South Seas, China,&c., and saluted me with all their cannon as they passed.
I looked through my telescope at the moon, and perceived thephilosophers there in great commotion. They could plainly discern thealteration on the surface of our globe, and thought themselves somehowinterested in the enterprise of their fellow-mortals in a neighbouringplanet. They seemed to think it admirable that such little beings aswe men should attempt so magnificent a performance, that would beobservable even in a separate world.
Thus having wedded the Atlantic Ocean to the South Sea, I returned toEngland, and found Wauwau precisely in the very spot whence she had setout, after having led us a chase all round the world.
The Surprising Adventures of Baron Munchausen Page 36