Inside

by Kyra Anderson

“…thank you…” I choked.

  He took the box of tissues first, carelessly placing them back on the top of the bar. He then took the mirror, his fingers lingering on mine and sending the cold pangs of fear into my belly again. I looked up at him, frightened, and he smirked, triumphant at seeing my terror.

  We finally pulled up in front of my house.

  “Thank you again,” I whispered hurriedly, waiting for him to unlock the doors so I could escape.

  “You best be on your guard, Little Lily,” Dana whispered. “You are far more delectable than you realize.” His hand went to my knee before moving up my leg, tracing my inner thigh. I shivered and his mouth went to my neck, kissing my racing pulse.

  “Just remember something,” he breathed. “You. Are. Mine.”

  He kissed my pulse again.

  “One day, Little Lily, I will take you and then you will never be able to escape.”

  “Sir,” Sean said, “curfew is in a half-hour. The bus will be here soon. Her parents will wonder where she is.”

  “You are right,” Dana agreed. He backed away, his hand leaving my skin. “Good night, Little Lily.”

  The doors unlocked and I clamored out of the car, though my legs were wobbling and I was worried that I would collapse on our front lawn. I stumbled my way to the front door and opened it clumsily, falling inside and closing the door quickly behind me. When my overwhelmed brain registered that I was home, I stood completely still, listening to the silence around me, worried that my parents were still awake and would see me in that state. I carefully made my way toward the stairs, keeping a careful ear out for my parents. They were so sure I was coming home by curfew that they rarely waited up for me anymore. Hearing the silence of the house was a relief—I could not handle explaining to them what had happened.

  I moved through the living room and ascended the back staircase, turning off the lights as I left each room. As I was climbing the stairs, I saw a light coming from Mykail’s bedroom and turned to his large, barred door. He was sitting on his bed, staring directly at me as I rounded the corner, waiting for me to look in on him. I jumped, unable to get used to his silent staring.

  I sniffed my tears back and cleared my throat, trying to ignore the way his blue eyes stared at me.

  “It’s time to sleep now, Mykail,” I told him. He continued to stare, unblinking. “Turn off your light and go to sleep,” I told him, trying to adopt a stern tone. “I mean it, Mykail.”

  He did not move, his eyes still on me.

  I lost my temper.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?!” I barked. “You just sit there and stare at us all day! You never speak! Why don’t you say something?! Why are you being such a dick?!” I slammed my hand against the bars of his door and turned to walk away, mostly to hide my cringe from the pain that radiated through my hand.

  “I didn’t mean to be a dick,” he said when my back was turned. I whirled back around, my eyes wide, my heart stopping.

  “You…you can talk?” I stammered.

  “Yes.”

  “W-why haven’t you said anything before?”

  “No one was speaking to me,” he answered.

  I wrapped my hands around the bars and fell to my knees, at my limit for surprises in one night.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “This can’t be happening…” I whimpered.

  Mykail walked to the bars, crouching in front of me.

  “I apologize for startling you,” he murmured. “But you looked extremely upset.”

  I looked up at Mykail, feeling my cheeks get hot immediately. Being so close, I was under the full power of his brilliant blue eyes. My heart skipped a beat at the tender gaze.

  “W-what?”

  “I’m sorry I frightened you,” he repeated. “I just wanted to…” He trailed off, becoming awkward as well. “I was worried.”

  The tears overcame me. I tried to hold them back, but the evening had been so horrible that I could not keep my emotions in check.

  “It’s…fucking Dana,” I growled, hiding my face in my hands, grinding my teeth.

  “Say no more,” Mykail said knowingly. “I understand.”

  I looked up.

  “I’m sorry,” I sniffed. “I have no right to talk after what you’ve been through.”

  Mykail looked at the ground, his wings ruffling. When he looked back at me, he sighed, motioning his head into the room.

  “Do you want to come in and talk?”

  I blinked, taking several long moments to understand the invitation. My first reaction was to say no, but I didn’t want to be alone with my brain constantly replaying the events of that night. I was not ready to process what had happened.

  I looked down at myself and was suddenly very self-conscious of my appearance, still in my alley-dirtied club dress.

  “Um…I’m going to change…” I whispered, forcing an awkward smile.

  “Okay,” he said. “I’ll be here.”

  I smiled, as did he, and pulled myself to my feet, my legs still shaking. I decided a shower was a bad idea—I might fall and crack my head open. Once in my room, I slipped out of my dress, going into the bathroom and looking in the mirror.

  I scared myself I looked so horrible. I quickly washed my face, ridding it of the stains of makeup and tears, though my skin was red and blotchy from crying.

  “What the hell are you doing, Lily?” I breathed, staring at my reflection.

  I did not know how I rationalized with myself that going into the cage with the “angel” Dana Christenson had given my family was a good idea. In fact, the more I thought about it, the worse the idea seemed. I considered not going back to his door at all…

  I concluded that sitting outside the bars of his room and talking would be safer and would give me time to calm down and process everything that had occurred in the previous hours.

  I pulled on my sweatpants and a tank top and checked myself over once more before nervously rejoining Mykail. I felt more comfortable and the shakiness of my legs had ebbed to an exhausted weakness. However, I had a nervous knot in my stomach, embarrassed and worried about discussing the events of the night with someone I hardly knew.

  “Lily?” Mykail called as I lingered just beyond his sight. “I can hear you.”

  I took one more deep breath and stepped forward. He was still sitting by the bars, his heavy wings resting on the floor.

  “You look better,” he complimented.

  I felt a hot blush rise to my cheeks. His eyes were so warm, they made me feel safe, the tender gaze pushing away my anxiety. I lowered to my knees, smiling like an idiot but unable to stop the moronic expression.

  “Why haven’t you said anything before?” I asked. “What do you mean no one was talking to you?”

  “Well, maybe I should say no one was calling me a dick,” he teased. I cringed.

  “I’m sorry,” I groaned. “It’s…been a rough night.”

  “What happened?”

  I turned to him again, looking into the warm eyes. I had a brief concern that telling him about the horrible events of the night would somehow sully someone who had such a gentle expression. Even knowing that he had undergone experimentation at the hands of Dana, I could not immediately find the courage to tell him about that night.

  When I did not speak for a long time, he nodded back into the room.

  “Are you going to come in?” he asked.

  “Um…I…I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, a small part of me worried he was trying to get me in the room to hurt me. Despite his warm demeanor and captivating eyes, I knew I could not trust him—not yet.

  “That’s fine. Whatever you feel comfortable with. But I do want to know what happened tonight. I’m worried…”

  “A-are you sure you want to know?”

  “If that asshole Dana did anything, I swear…” he growled, his lip curling in disgust. “What did he do to you? Did he hurt you?”

  I looked down at my lap, wringing my hands nerv
ously.

  “Um…he…well…you know, it’s not that big of a deal…” I shrugged it off. I could feel Mykail’s eyes on me for a long moment before he sighed.

  “I’m sure that some of the things he does are a little embarrassing to talk about, but believe me when I say that I will understand. I spent eight months with him. I know how he can be.”

  “What do you mean you spent eight months with him?” I asked. “Is that how long…” I trailed off, staring at the wings.

  “No, the testing only took two months. The other six months were just when he was fascinated by what he had made me into and decided to test the rest of my family the same way.”

  “Wait, the rest of your family? The same way? He said that you were the only one…like this,” I explained awkwardly. “The rest of your family is still there?”

  He looked at the floor, falling silent.

  “I…I’m sorry,” I said quickly, realizing I was being insensitive.

  “No, it’s not you,” he said. “My older brother is still in the Commission. But my younger brother and sister…they died about two months ago.”

  “What happened?”

  “My young brother died during his testing,” Mykail murmured. “My sister went into a coma during testing and that bastard Dana continued to test on her, even in the coma. And, just like my brothers, when she came to with her wings, she had lost her mind…so they killed her.”

  I stared at him, agonized by the immense pain in his eyes and the tremor in his voice. Before I could stop myself, I was reaching forward, my hand resting on his around the bars.

  “I’m the only one who was a success…” he completed, his voice quiet, his eyes not even lifting when I touched his hand.

  “What happened to your brother who survived?”

  “He’s still there, still being tested on. He did not fare as well as I did. He’s not at all coherent…”

  “I am so sorry…” I whispered, squeezing his hand.

  “You have no reason to be sorry,” he said. “Out of curiosity, what did Dana tell you about me before he brought me here to live?”

  I opened my mouth, unable to form words at first. I spent several silent moments trying to decide whether or not I should tell him what Dana had explained about his past.

  I swallowed hard.

  “I want to know what he told you about me,” he insisted. “He must have told you why I was taken into the Commission. Please, tell me what he said.”

  “But you know Dana. I’m sure what he said was a lie,” I evaded.

  “That’s exactly why I want to know.”

  “Why? It’s not like it will help the situation,” I avoided gently. “It will only make you angrier.”

  “Oh, being angry will help,” Mykail assured. He leaned closer and the bright fire in his eyes was enough to make me back away from the bars. For a brief moment, I was reminded of Dana’s eyes in the limo earlier. “I plan to kill Dana.”

  Everything went very still, an eternity hanging on those few small words.

  He smiled darkly, but I was no longer frightened by the cold expression. I was intrigued. If Dana was dead, there was a possibility my family could get out of the Commission of the People.

  “I am going to kill that evil son of a bitch. Anything you tell me about what he’s done will just fuel me.” His grin was terrifying, but I was excited by it. “Tell me what he told you about me, and then tell me what he did to you tonight.”

  Even though there was a rational part of my brain screaming at me not to anger Mykail, I wanted to stoke that fire. I, too, wanted to kill Dana, since that seemed to be the only way I would ever be free of him.

  “He…he told me that you were a homosexual…and that your lover was your older half-brother…and that you smuggled drugs across the border.”

  He blinked at me in shock and then rolled his eyes with a groan.

  “You must have said something to piss him off or make him prove a point,” he noted. “What a bastard…”

  “Is it true?” I asked slowly.

  “The part about me smuggling drugs is true, yes. But I am not gay, and I don’t have any half-brothers. He knows that.”

  For some reason, even though I knew he had to be a criminal for the Commission of the People to capture him, Mykail’s confession about smuggling drugs still surprised me.

  “You…smuggled drugs?”

  “Hard not to when that’s the family business,” he sneered, his eyes focused elsewhere. I backed away a little, startled by the tone, still nervous around the boy I did not entirely trust. His eyes softened immediately at my reaction. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

  “No, i-it’s fine…” I turned my eyes to the carpet, starting to feel uneasy.

  “What did Dana do to you tonight?”

  My heart raced and the fear returned full-force, but I could not lift my eyes to look at Mykail. The thought of recounting the events aloud was more terrifying than I expected. I felt as if I could make the entire night disappear if I didn’t tell anyone, if I never spoke of it again and told myself it was all a bad dream.

  Mykail placed his other hand on mine.

  “I understand it’s painful, but if you keep it inside and push it away, it will come back to haunt you in some other way,” he said. My gaze finally lifted to meet his stunning blue eyes, which were warm and caring—so different from how he had looked earlier. “I’m here to listen.”

  I let out the breath I had not realized I was holding.

  “I was at the club…” I started quietly, my eyes averting, though I was able to keep my head up. I began to spill the story, finding myself close to tears and hyperventilating when I explained my time in the limo with Dana. Mykail’s hand kept me anchored to reality. He did not seem to care that I was crying again. I tried to continue but I was unable to go on, stifling my sobs in my hand, recalling how powerless I had been.

  His hand reached through the bars and he carefully wiped the tears away from my face. I blinked, my sobbing ceasing immediately when his warm fingers came in contact with my skin. Sniffling, I tried to stop my crying as he continued to wipe the tears away with his knuckles.

  “I’m sorry…” I hiccupped. “After everything you’ve been through…this…this is nothing.” I shook my head, mentally slapping myself for thinking that my problems outweighed the torture Mykail had suffered at Dana’s hand.

  “No, what he did to you is unforgivable,” he snarled. “No one has a right to treat anyone like that. I don’t care if they’re a homeless man or Dana fucking Christenson, a man should never do something so horrible to anyone.”

  “But he is Dana fucking Christenson,” I groaned. “He can do whatever the hell he wants.”

  “Not for long,” Mykail said. “Don’t you dare give in to him,” he said strongly, his eyes locking with mine in a determined stare. “Don’t stop fighting him. Because I’m going to kill him one day and you will be free. But if you give in, he will take you down with him.”

  I smiled and took his hand in mine, holding it.

  “You’re very together, considering everything you’ve been through,” I noted, sniffing back more tears.

  “The only thought that keeps me going is of one day killing that son of a bitch.”

  “Can I help?” I asked, only partially joking.

  “After what he did to you, of course you can.”

  “Mykail…” I started, “he’s not going to stop, you know.” Mykail sighed and pressed his hand to my face, moving his thumb against my skin. I felt comforted by the small gesture.

  “I know,” he whispered. “Try to bear up to it. Keep fighting. Don’t let him overtake you.”

  I bit my lip, thinking about the fantasy of dancing with Dana. It was so easy for Dana to enthrall me and make me a puppet in his hands. I had no idea how I could stay strong against him when all it took was a single glance to set my body on fire.

  “What is it?” Mykail asked, studying my conflicted express
ion.

  “Nothing,” I assured, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, I’m tired.”

  “Of course,” he agreed. “You should get some sleep.”

  I stood, as did he, but I hesitated outside his barred door.

  “Mykail?”

  “Yes?”

  “Could I ask a favor?”

  “What is it?”

  “Do you think…I could have a hug?” I chuckled, feeling embarrassed for asking the silly question. He smiled and nodded, stepping back from the door to allow me to open it.

  I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key, excitedly turning the lock, trying to slow the bolt down so it was as quiet as possible. I remembered the discipline clicker in my pocket as well, but was sure I wouldn’t need it. He had already proven to be a very sweet, docile person in our short chat.

  Once I had slowly worked the loud door open enough for me to slip in, I extended my arms. He wrapped his arms around me and held me for a few moments.

  It was the best hug I had ever received.

  My arms circled his neck, my fingers accidentally brushing the wings. The feathers were soft and I had to resist a very strong urge to run my hands over them, sure that it would make him uncomfortable.

  “Thank you for listening to me tonight,” I whispered. “I really needed someone to talk to.”

  He pulled away, but kept his arms around my waist.

  “If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

  “Ooh, better be careful about saying that,” I laughed lightly. “I can complain a lot if I want to.”

  “Well, I will listen, but I don’t mean just when you have something you want to get off your chest. I mean, even if you just want to talk to someone about anything. I like talking with you. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for quite some time, but…I wasn’t sure how you would react.”

  I smiled, feeling a blush rise quickly to my cheeks. I wanted to stay up and talk to him the rest of the night. However, I was very tired, and I was starting to feel something for him that I needed to ignore. The last thing I needed was to become infatuated with the “gift” Dana Christenson had given my family. I was also sure that I was feeling attached to him because I was able to turn to him so quickly after my traumatizing night.