“Abused?”
“Disciplined,” Dana corrected with a small smile that made me realize he was only repeating what his father had said about beating his child. “I remember how ambitious my father was…he wanted so much for his life and his children…and how my mother refused to stand up for me when I was being hurt…” He sighed and shifted his legs on the couch, stretching them out with cat-like fluidity. “But, that’s ancient history.” He looked at me expectantly. “What did your father protect you from?”
I pursed my lips and took another large sip of the wine, suddenly very nervous again.
“Little Lily,” he pressed. “What did you need to be protected from? From the stories I heard, you don’t need any help defending yourself.”
“I did when I was six…”
“From what?”
I sighed and looked into the wine glass again.
“A neighbor tried to…” I looked up at him, seeing him waiting patiently for me to continue. “Once, I went to my neighbor’s house for the afternoon when my father and mother were at a charity event. He was a very nice older man whose wife had passed away and he used to watch me when my parents were out. And one day, he asked me to sit on his lap as he read me a story…” I sighed and looked around the room, anywhere but Dana’s eyes. “He touched me a little…nothing serious, but I remember that he told me before my dad picked me up that if I said anything to my father about what happened, my father would be very disappointed in me.” I laughed once through my nose and shook my head, looking at the couch.
“The next time my father was walking me to his house, I began crying and told him what happened. My father just held me and when I woke up, I was still in his arms on the couch and he was telling me how proud he was of me for telling him the truth…that he would never let anyone hurt me again…” I sighed and looked at Dana again. “Sometimes, I want to remind him of that so that he’ll protect me from you.”
Dana said nothing, staring at me as if I had not said anything about him at all.
I cleared my throat.
“Anyway, he threatened to kill that man if he laid another finger on me.”
“I would have, too.”
“Because I’m yours?” I near-growled. “I thought that you would applaud the man for taking what he wanted. Isn’t that the same thing you’re doing to Julie?”
“I haven’t touched Julie,” Dana told me simply. “And as far as taking what you want, if I wanted to kill the man for touching you, I would have done it.”
“You’re starting to contradict yourself,” I noted. “So, you’re alright with older men taking advantage of young girls who don’t know any better except when it’s with me?”
Dana sighed and looked into space, shaking his head.
“You’re sickening.”
“You’re turning hostile again, Little Lily,” Dana said. “Have you ever seen me touch anyone who was not of appropriate age?”
“So, now you’re trying to tell me you have standards? Morals?” I scoffed, shaking my head in disbelief. “You’ve done things just as illegal by sleeping with men.”
Dana smiled as if he wanted to say that I had no idea what I was talking about.
“We see the world very differently, Little Lily,” he told me. “I don’t see men as off limits sexually, just like I don’t see marriage as a reason why women should be off limits for sexual relations with men they find attractive, particularly if they are unhappy in their relationship.” He looked at me seriously. “As for me, I do not find the bodies of young children at all arousing, or pleasing, even. When children mature and begin to develop into teenagers and young adults, that is different.”
“How old was Clark when you started molesting him?”
“He was sixteen the first time I found him interesting, and that’s two questions,” Dana said, reaching for the wine glass.
“I didn’t ask any questions.”
“Yes, you did,” Dana nodded. “Talking about my morals and when it is acceptable to take what you want, and when I found Clark interesting. It’s my turn.” He took the glass as I grudgingly handed it over. “I get to ask two, now,” he smiled, holding up two fingers. I rolled my eyes.
“Do you hate your mother for sleeping with me?”
I blinked, surprised at the bluntness of the question. I opened my mouth to say something and then stopped, closing my mouth again and sighing, shaking my head.
“I don’t know…” I admitted. “I think I’m angrier about how weak she was against you.” I glanced at him. “You just wave your hand, bat your eyelashes and say the perfect sentence and everyone falls into your arms. She couldn’t resist you. She was drawn to how dangerous you are. Then again, I guess no one can resist you, can they?” I said, unable to keep the distain out of my voice.
“Some can,” he said with a smile. He took a sip of the wine and then lifted two fingers again. “My second question,” he started, “why are you so interested in knowing about me?”
I stared at him a few long moments, not sure how to answer.
“I don’t know…I’m curious, I guess,” I admitted. “I want to know how you know how to change yourself to be what everyone wants you to be…how you know what they want before they know it…how you’ve managed to seduce so many people and they don’t even think twice about turning their backs on anything they used to love or believe in because of you.”
Dana grinned.
“You want to know?” he asked. “I’m absolutely nothing, Little Lily. That’s how I do it. All I am is a thought, and people read into me however they wish. It’s not so much that I change myself as much as they see what they want in me.” He leaned forward. “Understand something. Everything I used to be, all the feelings that I had when I used to care about others, people project them, whatever it is they want most out of me, they think of only that and push that on to me. They can turn a blind eye to everything else because there is that one thing that I can give them that nothing else can: a sense that they have accomplished something, fulfilled something, had power over their own lives and gained something for it.” He shrugged, leaning back. “That’s all it is.”
“Now I want to ask two questions,” I said to him. “One, is there anything left of you from before you were an experiment?”
“No,” he shook his head. “He died on the table.”
“Have you killed anyone?” I asked my second question.
“Yes.”
“Let me clarify the question,” I said. “I don’t mean ordered someone dead. I mean, have you ever directly killed someone?”
“Yes.”
“As in shooting a gun—”
“Yes.”
“Or stabbing someone—”
“Yes.”
“Or beating someone to death—”
“Yes,” he said again. “I have killed many people, Little Lily. I have shot, stabbed, and beaten people to death. I’ve even decapitated a few, and one time I even tortured someone to death.”
He said it so easily, as if there was nothing wrong with the confession. I blinked at him stupidly, shocked and frightened at the same time.
“I only have one more question for you, Little Lily,” he said. “You said you wanted to remove me from power, to take down the Commission of the People, more or less…” He smiled and tilted his head. “When you do that, do you plan to kill me?”
“…yes.”
His smile widened.
“This is going to be a fun game, Little Lily…”
Chapter Forty-Three
I did not recall falling asleep, but when I slowly blinked my eyes and realized I was not in my bedroom, I bolted upright, remembering the previous night and my conversation with Dana.
I looked around the living room but there was no trace of the leader of the Commission of the People. The wine glass that had been left empty on the coffee table was gone and the shoes he had kicked off below his seat had also vanished.
I glanced around, listening fo
r any sounds of movement in the house, but everything was still and silent.
I hurriedly began to extract myself from the blanket when I stopped, staring at the blanket I did not remember grabbing from the back of the other couch. Dana had covered me after I had fallen asleep. The uncharacteristic warm actions confused me as much as the conversation we had shared the previous night.
Then I remembered Dana saying Sean would be coming back to the house. He had not been there before I had fallen asleep, but it was very possible that he had been the one to cover me.
Pushing that thought aside, I threw the blanket to one side of the couch and scrambled to my feet, jumping the stairs two at a time and turning the corner to Mykail’s room, surprisingly nervous at what I would find.
Mykail was laying on his side on the bed, his eyes focused distantly at the wall.
“Mykail?”
His eyes shot to the door and he bolted upright.
“Lily,” he whispered. “Are you alright?” He walked to the door and wrapped his hands around the bars. I placed my hand around his.
“I’m fine,” I assured. “Are they still here?”
“No,” Mykail shook his head. “They left about an hour ago.”
“What time is it?” I asked, looking into his room as he turned to the clock.
“Seven twenty-three.”
“Shit!” I gasped. “I’m going to be late!” I pulled away from the door, calling over my shoulder as I searched on my desk. “I’ll unlock the door and then I have to run!”
“Lily!” he called. “It’s no use! He took the key!”
“He what?!” I snapped, walking to his door once again.
“He took the keys.”
“Mother fucker…” I groaned.
“Listen,” he said, taking my hand. “I’m alright. Just get dressed and go to school and we’ll figure out what to do tonight, okay?”
“I’m not leaving you in there with no food or water,” I said and then cringed at the words. “That sounds bad.”
“It’s fine,” he chuckled.
“Hold on, I’ll be right back. I can be a little late for school.”
“You have a final today!”
“Damn it…” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “Okay, hold on.”
I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, going to the pantry and pulling out two bottles of water, setting them on the table as I moved to the refrigerator. I stopped at the neat handwritten note that was held to the refrigerator by the magnetic picture of our family portrait.
“Little Lily,
I really enjoyed our conversation last night, though you fell asleep before we could talk more. I cleaned up the living room and made you lunch for school. It’s in the refrigerator. Please be sure to eat, you are losing weight.
Regards,
Dana Christenson.”
I growled as I read the note and then reached for the pen in the cup next to the refrigerator, writing my own note below his.
“Mr. Christenson,
I hate you.”
I nodded once at the note, letting out a satisfied snort. I knew he would probably never see it and there was no point in having it remain on the refrigerator, but it made me happier. I tried to find something to give to Mykail when I saw the brown paper bag that was sitting at my eye level in the refrigerator.
“Creepy fucker…” I pushed it aside. I grabbed a bowl of fruit salad and a bottle of water and pushed the door shut with my foot, snatching a bag of pretzels from on top of the refrigerator.
I glanced at the digital clock on the microwave and panicked at the numbers.
I quickly ran back upstairs, pushing everything gathered in my arms through the bars.
“Can you think of anything else you would like?” I asked, carefully maneuvering the bowl of fruit through the bars.
“No, this is fine,” he assured. “You need to go so you won’t be late.”
“Okay,” I nodded, leaning close to the bars and kissing him before darting into my room and grabbing the first thing my hands found in my dresser drawers. Pulling on the jeans and sweater, I grabbed my backpack and ran downstairs, grabbing my coat and shoes before running as fast as I could to the bus stop, barely catching my bus.
I was flustered all day, running around to my classes, cramming for the exam three minutes before we started it and knowing I failed as I turned my test in. I met with two other Commish Kids in between my art class and lunch and vaguely told them that we had a plan to break the experiments out and I would let them know what day. I told the two of them what roles they had in the operation—something Clark and I had decided the previous day—and I assured them the breakout would be some time in the next two weeks, so their tracers had to be removed by then.
They seemed to react the same way Clark had suspected. Most of the Commish Kids joined the rebellion out of anger, but they never really expected us to get anywhere with the plan. They were surprised to hear that we had a plan we thought could work, and they were nervous, because a real plan meant a real chance of being caught by Dana. However, they were relieved that they were not going to be inside the Commission, breaking anyone out of the cells.
That was a job for me and Clark.
The reality of that situation had yet to hit me.
At lunch, I nearly fell asleep as the tension began to leave my body from the crazy morning and a more pressing thought came to my mind.
How was I going to get the key back from Dana?
I thought about simply asking him for it, telling him that he was the one who asked us to bathe him and take care of his wings. I decided to start with that, and if it didn’t work, I would go to Sean and ask him to get the key back somehow.
Mark drove me and Clark to the Commission as we talked about the people we spoke to that day and we went over the plan again quietly, asking Mark questions that he could answer with a nod or shake of his head. I had asked him the previous evening how often he checked for bugs in the car, and he wrote: “three times a day.”
It eased my mind knowing how careful he was.
Once in the Commission, I decided to immediately find Dana.
“I’m going to talk to Dana,” I told Clark, setting my bag down.
“Why?”
“He broke into my house last night, that’s why,” I growled.
“He what?”
I saw Mark turn his head to look through the window into the conference room. He could hear us through the glass and was just as surprised to hear the news.
“You heard me. He broke into my house and decided to be creepy as fuck, so I want to talk to him about it,” I snapped.
“What is talking to him going to do?”
“It will make me feel better,” I nodded, walking around the table to the door but Clark stopped me.
“Lily, seriously, don’t provoke him. You’re feeding him more reasons to do what he does. You’re giving him a reaction.”
“He locked Mykail up and took the key,” I told him sharply. “That means I can’t take care of him. I can hardly feed him anything either because a plate won’t fit in between the bars. I have to talk to him.”
Clark opened his mouth to protest again, but he sighed and shook his head, understanding that I had no intension of backing down.
“I’ll be fine,” I assured.
“Famous last words…”
I ignored him and walked out the door, where Mark’s concerned face confronted me.
“I’ll be alright,” I repeated. He grabbed my wrist and tapped his pointer finger against my wrist once. It was another way to say ‘be careful.’
I smiled and nodded before continuing my walk toward Dana’s office.
I did not feel nervous about going to him. After the conversation last night, I did not feel I needed to be afraid of him. He had shown me that he had a calmer side. Even though I did not know his current mood, I felt more comfortable walking into his office.
I knocked and was met with a “come in” from inside
. I took one large breath and opened the door. Dana was at his desk, looking over a book. I was surprised to recognize the diary of Bryant Morris. A part of me was very curious what he could possibly want to read in Bryant Morris’ journal when he had known the founder of the Commission of the People personally, but I tried to put that thought aside.
“Little Lily,” he smiled, standing up and buttoning his suit jacket as he walked around the desk to face me. I approached the desk slowly, watching him. “Did you enjoy the lunch I made for you?”
“I didn’t eat it,” I told him. “I wasn’t sure if you had drugged it or anything.”
“Why would I do that?” he asked with an exasperated sigh.
“Because it seems like something you would do.”
“I’ve told you before, I don’t drug women,” Dana said. “Well, promise me you will eat something tonight. You look like you’re losing weight, and frankly, skeletons are not at all attractive.”
I rolled my eyes.
“That’s not what I came here to talk to you about.”
“Is there a problem?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“Yes, there is,” I said sharply. “You locked Mykail up and then took the keys so I can’t let him out.”
“Just until your parents come back and I know that he won’t make any further attempts to steal your virtue,” Dana assured with a dark smile.
“What makes you think I’m still a virgin?” I tested him. He smirked.
“Just a hunch,” he hissed. “You put up a tough front, but I can tell.”
“Regardless of what you think of my virtue, the fact remains that you took the key to Mykail’s room, and now I can’t take care of him like you want me to,” I growled. “You were the one who told us that he needs help bathing and keeping his wings clean, and how am I supposed to feed him when I can’t fit a plate through the door?”
“He doesn’t need a full place setting, Little Lily,” Dana chuckled. “And as far as bathing him is concerned, I should have realized what a problem it would be to have you bathe him yourself. I’m sure that Mykail has been very willing to show you how he feels about you touching him,” he said, suggestively raising his eyebrows.
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