by Kip Nelson
Now that they had a proper home he thought that it would be easier to manage the girl’s development. He wanted them to have an education and planned to start teaching them about all sorts of things when he had the chance.
He had a secret project he was working on away from these things, though, something that nobody else was allowed to see until he was finished. He holed up away in the attic late at night when everyone else was asleep and spent time on his secret. It took him a while to get everything perfect, but when he did everyone was amazed with what he had made. He’d been carving small objects for them just like the one he had made for Michelle.
“Think of these as late Christmas presents, or housewarming presents,” he said when he presented the gifts to his children.
Michelle already had one, of course, but she didn’t seem to be put out by the fact that she didn’t receive a gift. It was a testament to her maturity. Tara had received a carving of the three mountain lion cubs. They all were lying on their back with their paws up in the air. The detail on them was impressive and Tara was thrilled to bits. Michelle instantly compared the carving she’d received and they started making a story about them. Betsy received one that was made in the image of the mountain lion mother. Darren intended it as an affectionate reference to how Betsy acted like a mother to Tara and Michelle and watched over them, but also to Betsy’s inner strength and pride.
It felt good for Darren to pay tribute to the mountain lions in this manner, to ensure that none of them ever would forget them. Still, the children believed that the mountain lions were still out there somewhere, and Darren decided he wasn’t going to disabuse them of that notion. To Brent, he gave the carving of a bicycle, and Brent laughed when he received it.
Brent had fallen in love the first time he’d seen the bike, and his love had not diminished with familiarity. He went out every day for a ride for a few hours at a time and already had mapped quite a lot of the surrounding area, pinpointing a few areas that could be ripe for exploration. So far, he hadn’t seen any sign of people either. Each member of the Dawkins family had their own small role and they all were happy with their purpose. Eventually, Brent’s bed was built, and they found an old mattress in the shed, which they cleaned and made as good as new. Once those projects were completed Darren found himself at something of a loose end.
All of his time in the post-apocalyptic world had been spent worrying and searching for new ways to survive. It was rare that he ever had any time simply to enjoy and be content and to exist. For at least a year now he had been on the edge of sanity every moment of every day as he tried providing for his family. First he had been working two jobs and worrying that he wasn’t being a good father to his children. Then he was trying to make sure they ate every day and survived the cold winter and all the threats nature threw at them. This was the first time in a long time when he actually was able to exhale and not feel tension pressing on his chest. His mind was light, and he found that it was blank. He didn’t know what to do with himself.
Until winter ended there was nothing he could do to maintain the house. The house needed little maintenance, and he almost felt guilty for doing nothing. The days were long and he soon found himself reading for hours on end, but it didn’t seem like he was doing enough.
He spent a lot of time in the attic, gazing out at the city. Then one day he was in there with Brent.
“You know, if anyone deserves a rest it’s you. You’ve done so much to get us this far. It’s okay if you take a little break before spring comes,” Brent said when his father lamented his lack of purpose. Darren’s gaze was locked outside, looking toward the city.
“I have to go back there,” Darren said in a hollow voice. Brent looked at him blankly.
“What?” Brent asked.
“I need to go to the city.” Darren stood up, possessed by this sudden clarity that told him he had to take one last trip to the land he had left behind. Brent was aghast and furrowed his brow. He stood up too, as if to stop his father from doing something rash.
“What are you talking about? You’ve spent so long saying that we can’t go back to the city. You’ve heard what people have said. You know that it’s not safe. Why would you say you need to go back there?”
“I have this feeling inside. I look at that place and I feel it calling to me. I know it seems strange after everything I’ve said, but I have to know what it’s like. I have to see it for myself, just to understand what the chances are of us ever moving back there. Or whether we can expect people leaving the city and flooding this area. Besides, there are certain supplies we should get that we can’t make ourselves.”
“Like what? You told us when we left the city that most places would be ransacked and we had to get out into the wilderness to be safe. Dad, I’m a little worried about you. This is coming out of nowhere.”
But it wasn’t coming out of nowhere. Darren listened to the worried pleas of his son and looked into the expression of concern etched onto Brent’s face. Darren walked up to him and placed his hands reassuringly on Brent’s shoulders.
“I promise you I’m in full control of my faculties. This isn’t some crazy plan of mine borne from the fact that I’ve had a lot of time to myself since we’ve come to this place. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a while. I’ve wanted to go back, but everything I’d heard put me off. But I think the time is right now. We need to know the status of the city so we can better prepare for the future.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about this and for most of our time together I’ve been so focused on my family that I’ve almost forgotten about the rest of the human race. It’s important for us to see if anyone has made any headway in forming a new society. If they have we don’t want to be left behind. When I spoke to you about supplies earlier I meant things like food and clothes. Those are the things that people are going to want to take first. I’m talking about things like paint, more tools and supplies, shoes and socks, and lots of soap, things that weren’t high on the list of priorities when people were scrambling for their lives. If I can get some, we’ll be set for the summer. I need to do this Brent. You all can look after yourselves now. I know it’s risky, but I think the benefits outweigh the risks.”
Brent wasn’t convinced, and neither was Betsy when Darren told her what he was planning. She looked at him as though he was crazy. As the person with the most recent experience of the city she wondered what possessed him to want to go back there. Darren found it difficult verbalizing the feeling that thrummed inside him.
“I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m an explorer and now that we’re here I don’t have anything to explore anymore. I want to go back to the city just to see if there are any other people like us,” he said.
“And what if you find people who want to hurt you? Dad, come on, you have to see that this isn’t necessary. If I suggested this you’d be telling me to stop what I’m doing and take a long hard look at myself. You only told me to take risks that were worth it, and I’m not sure this is one,” Brent said.
Darren was pleased to see the two of them taking on more responsibility and was proud they actually were standing up to him. But nothing they said was going to dissuade him from this course of action. He knew deep inside that he had to do this one thing. Brent and Betsy soon realized they were fighting a losing battle.
Chapter Sixteen
Tara and Michelle didn’t understand why Darren was going either, but he promised them he’d return soon. Brent and Betsy had anxious looks on their faces and he could tell they wished they could say something to stop him from taking this course of action. Darren reassured them that everything was going to be fine and he’d only be gone a day or so. And once he returned from the city they would have a better idea of what the rest of civilization looked like.
To Brent’s chagrin, Darren took the bike, but Darren explained that it would take him a long time and, really, it was Darren’s bike to begin with. It wasn’t as though Brent could go an
ywhere anyway, for in Darren’s absence he had to remain to look after the house. Darren looked at his family before he left and waved them goodbye, then he set out on his adventure.
He was unable to resist the feeling that possessed him, and was certain he was making the right decision. He would return to the farm soon enough and with more information regarding the city, and hopefully a few more supplies. He just wanted to see what had happened to the city in his absence, and if there was any hope of society being rebuilt. For all he knew a glorious new regime could have risen up like a phoenix and fixed the mistakes of the old world. If so, he wanted his family to be a part of it.
The air was chilled and there was a faint mist hanging in the air. The horizon in front of him was hidden by a veil, and it felt as though he was traveling into the unknown. Darren harbored doubts about whether this was the right thing to do, especially since the kids had been so vehement in their disapproval. But he had set out now and he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had found what he was looking for.
He rode the bike slowly. The wheels turned smoothly against the ground and he was able to make good time. He peered in front of him just in case there was anyone lurking, waiting to take advantage of a lone traveler. Darren had brought his gun too. There were only a few bullets left in it now. He’d have to try finding more of those as well.
It had taken him a long time to get used to the silence in the world. He’d never realized how much ambient noise there used to be, whether it was the soft hum of electrical appliances, the busy roar of cars as they whizzed by, or just the sound of people existing. It was as though he was living in a ghost world.
As he drew nearer the city he hadn’t encountered anyone else, or any animals in fact. When he reached the suburbs he stopped riding and took a moment to look around at the neighborhood. This wasn’t his neighborhood, but it was similar. The houses all looked the same, and they mostly looked well-kept. There weren’t any signs of life, though. Some of the doors were hanging open, whilst others were nailed shut. Some had graffiti painted on them, and as he got closer he could see blood stains on the driveways and sidewalks. He could well imagine there were violent crimes being committed out here, and it made him glad that he had chosen to leave when he did.
He peered into a couple of windows, but saw nothing, so he continued on his journey into the heart of the city.
Still he heard nothing.
The road into the city was long and straight and it was peppered with cars. They were scattered about at askew angles and must have been there since that very first night, when all of them were rendered inert. He felt for his own car, which had been left at the side of the road. He’d intended to return and pick it up when everything had blown over, but there was simply no use for it now. He smirked as he thought about how he had relied on his car so much, yet now it meant nothing.
Most of the cars were empty, but occasionally he did get a fright when he idly cast his gaze down and saw a face staring back at him. They were empty, pale faces, the lives already claimed by Death. It still was a chilling sight, though. They must have thought they were safe here, but the cold had got them, or maybe they had starved. Darren rooted around a few of the cars but, as expected, he didn’t find anything. They already had been stripped of anything beneficial. He slalomed through the cars and wondered where all the other people had gone. There must have been at least a thousand people on this road alone, and he hadn’t seen enough in the cars to account for them. Most of the cars had been left abandoned, with their doors ajar.
The city loomed before him, its buildings towering into the sky, rising through the faint mist like a plane through the clouds. Street lights stood on the sidewalk like useless soldiers, and trash blew across the streets. The buildings were ominous in their silence and Darren wondered what secrets the city was hiding. He slowed his pace and breathed a little less easily as he made his final approach, for the city may well have been a city of death.
He was tempting fate by coming here, he knew that, but he was confident in his ability to escape harm. At the first sign of trouble he would turn tail and ride away as quickly as he could. In the mist it would be easy for him to lose anyone pursuing him, and they’d never know where to look for him. If it became desperate and they did chase him longer than he presumed they would, he still had his gun, and he would lead them away from the farm. No matter what, nothing would happen to his family.
An old gate was being blown by the wind and clanked repeatedly. Darren heard a shuffling of feet and then another sound, one that he couldn’t quite place. He stopped riding and bristled, expecting to find a person standing before him, but a dog pattered past, with his tongue lolling out and his leash dragging across the ground. It was amazing to Darren how animals managed to survive in this world and yet people found it such a struggle.
Then he thought of the mountain lions, and he knew that the reason people struggled so much was likely because they posed a danger to each other.
Apartment blocks rose on either side of him and he was cast in their shadow. These didn’t hold any interest for him, though. He imagined that if a society had been set up again it would be in a larger part of town, with big open spaces and important buildings. Besides, there were no signs of life or death apart from the dog he’d seen.
He was approaching a park, and beyond it was the way to the shopping district, which was where he wanted to go. He decided to go through the park since it was the shortest distance. He kept his eyes and ears peeled for any signs of life. He didn’t want anyone to shoot him without speaking to him first, so he made sure his words were ready to be spoken.
The park was large and green, and reminded him of the place in which he now lived. But this was a tame world compared to the wild forests of his home. The park had a large lake, with empty boats bobbing near the shore, still tied to the dock. There was no point using them, Darren thought, because there was nowhere to go. The lake didn’t lead anywhere, but traveling by boat was quite a good idea, and he stored it in his mind for the future.
Like the rest of the city he’d seen, it didn’t look as if there had been any activity here for a long time. But then he saw something that piqued his interest. It was a vague shape, but something that seemed unfamiliar to him. There were few monuments in the park, so it wasn’t one of them, and it definitely wasn’t a tree. It looked like a small hill, but it was completely out of place based upon his memories. So, he moved closer to investigate, being ever cautious not to disturb anyone who might be around.
Then he got close enough to make out the details of this hill and what little color was left on his face drained away. He set the bike down and let it fall to the ground as he walked up to it and craned his neck back. The hill was at least double his height, probably more, and made up of dead bodies.
They had been flung in a heap and were all twisted and joined together. Their faces were pictures of terror and fear and surprise, although some were calm. Some eyes were open while others were closed, and some faces couldn’t be seen at all because of the position of the bodies.
Darren started counting to see if he could estimate how many there were, but he soon gave up. It was an impossible task. The hill looked dense as well, all the bodies packed together tightly. His heart broke when he saw so many people having lost their lives, but as he looked at them more closely he realized that not all of them had died from obvious wounds. Some had just died.
The death toll this world had exacted was too high, and it was clear he was in the minority. He wondered how many people around the world were even still alive. Earth was a barren rock again, the spread of humanity had been thwarted and now they were an endangered species.
As he moved around the hill to take account of the corpses his jaw hung open and his eyes were wide. Then he caught site of something else. There was another hill a little farther away, and then another still after that. So many dead, just piled here like trash. It didn’t seem right. It didn’t seem humane, and Darren almost wa
nted to find a shovel and start digging a grave for each of them to give them a proper burial.
Then, he heard whistling.
Chapter Seventeen
Darren ran back to his bike and picked it up to ensure it wasn’t stolen, and then drew his gun. He was already tense thanks to seeing the bodies. He wondered what kind of person would hang around so much death. The air was stale around the bodies and he almost choked when he breathed. Then the whistling grew louder. Darren saw a figure draw closer. He wheeled something behind him and then flung a few more bodies onto one of the piles. He was wearing a thick jacket, gloves, and his face was covered with a red scarf.
At first, he didn’t see Darren, but when he did his shoulders went slack and he shook his head. He walked up to Darren and pulled the scarf away from his mouth.
“And what the hell are you pointing that thing at me for? Do you really think I’ve got anything you want?” he said.
“I…I’m just defending myself,” Darren said.
“Well, you’ve got nothing to fear from me. That’s the truth. So, put that away before somebody gets hurt. I’ve lived too long to be wounded by a stray bullet,” he said.
Darren found himself putting the gun away. The man grumbled to himself and then beckoned for Darren to come help him. Darren was so numb and so taken aback by what he was seeing that he ended up following the man’s commands, and helped him throw a few more bodies on one of the piles.
“What is this place?” Darren asked.
“This is the great place where everyone goes after they die. Some would call it Heaven,” the man said, and then chuckled at his own joke.