by Jesse Teller
“Flak told me a very interesting thing when I met him,” Erick said. “I walked up to him, and he took me to see Yenna. Yenna Redfist is king chief of the exiles and has been for thirty years. King chief for thirty years. He has wisdom in places I don’t even have places. And Flak has learned everything he knows from that man. Flak turned to me, and said he had no use for a Flurryfist who did not know what he was.”
Erick wrapped an arm around her and took her to a window where the first dusting of the winter snows came to the mountain.
“I told him I knew exactly what I was. He asked what that was.” Erick laughed. “I told him I was a Flurryfist, noble leader of my clan, and Flak laughed.” Erick turned her around and smiled. “Flak told me he could not use that. He again asked me what I was. I felt instant fear in my heart, for I did not know what answer to give him. I stammered on about honor, and how many warriors were in my line, all the things I had been trained to say, and he kept smiling at me and shaking his head. ‘Dedicate yourself to my grandfather. I will take you around to the families and introduce you, and then you can tell me what the Flurryfist is,’ he said.
“Helena, when I saw their looks as they beheld me. The way they touched and stroked my arms and my hands. The way the kids all puffed up around me and the men looked just a little mightier when I was there, I learned I am not a Flurryfist warrior before all else. I am hope.” Erick was nearly weeping. He spoke softly, as if too much volume would in some way take away from the things he was saying. “I am a symbol of hope for all progetten. We Flurryfist are the very breath of hope.”
“Why are you telling me this, Erick?” She laid her head on his chest, and he ran his thick fingers through her hair.
“Because I realized then why I wanted to make you a Flurryfist all of my life.” He kissed the top of her head and whispered. “You have always given me hope. I have another year I can give you before it is all taken away from us. One more year to live a life with the woman I love. Keep my brother alive. Keep me alive, for one more year.”
She kissed him, and she felt as if she were floating. “One more year to live,” she said. “Because after you leave, I will still breathe, but will never live another day.”
IV
21 Years Before The Escape
Her arms hurt. Her eyes were raw from crying. She was cold, and she was getting desperate. She loosed her cry again, and the doves lifted into the air and scattered. Helena’s heart jumped, then she pulled and loosed. The arrow flew wide, so wide, as if she was aiming at the ground. The arrow slammed into a tree and cracked. She sobbed. Helena gripped another arrow and kept walking.
She was far from the village, not even sure she could get back. She had come out here with two quivers, and now she could hear the last three arrows jostling around on her hip. She gritted her teeth and loosed her cry. More doves in the air. She fired in utter desperation, and the arrow flew left. She dropped to her knees, weeping. As Helena looked at the forest floor beneath her, her heart tolled one low sound of misery.
“I need hope,” she said. “I can’t go on without it. Leeven, if you have ever listened to me in the past, hear me now. Give me one shred of hope for my love. Give me something. Give me anything,” she whispered.
“How about a dove?”
She looked up and saw Betten standing before her. He held up a small, white bird, and she dropped her head to the ground, sobbing. He took a knee beside her, wrapped an arm around her while she cried.
“I’m losing him, Betten. You know Flak. He will listen to you. Tell him Erick loves me and I will, I will, I will love you forever,” she said.
“You’re gonna do that no matter what I do, Helena,” he said with a chuckle.
She pulled herself up and gripped his collar. “Do you know this is not a joke? You’re talking about my life, Betten. My happiness, Erick’s happiness.”
He helped her to her feet and took her bow from her, hung it over his shoulder and took her hand. “Flak arranged the marriage. He spoke to Gerber, and they agreed. They gave their word, and they drank to it. I cannot change that. Neither can Flak. Gerber is the head of the Beastscowl clan. He has his line and their pride to think of. This is too complex to boil down to two hearts.”
“Betten, do you believe in love?” she asked.
He took her hand and began leading her home. “I do believe in love. I think everyone does a little.”
“Did you eat your dove heart?”
“Five of them.”
She sighed. “Five, you ate five of them?”
“I did.”
“How many times have you been in love?”
“None yet,” he said. “I have searched all over this mountain for the woman with the wild enough heart to match my own. She is not here.”
“He is leaving, Betten. He is leaving with you. You have come to lead him to that city, and he is never coming back.” She pulled her knife. “I ought to kill you.”
“Erick is not a gifted scout, but Helgor is. If I were dead, he would get them all there.”
“Then I’ll kill Erick so he can’t marry another woman,” she said.
“It’s a better plan. You could get close for sure. You’re good at almost killing Flurryfists.”
“You’re an ass.”
“I am.”
“I wish that bear had killed me,” she said.
“Self-pity is not pretty, Helena. Not even on you.”
They walked in silence for a long time before they came upon a camp, where Betten kicked Helgor, Brenden, and Jordai awake. They lifted their heads and noticed Helena.
“Hey, Dreadheart,” Jordai said. “What are you doing out here?”
“Betten, where’s breakfast?” Brenden asked. Helena scowled at him. He stared at her for a long time, then nodded. “Go ahead, say it.”
“Your sister is a monster.”
“All Beastscowls are monsters, Helena. My sister is a woman. She is a good woman. The best woman I know. She is fierce and loyal, and if she knew you, and she knew Erick was going to want to marry you, she would marry him anyway,” Brenden said.
“Then she has no honor, and I hate her.”
“Everyone hates my sister. She is hatable. She doesn’t care, and neither do I. Listen, if Flak ordered me to cut out my own heart, I would. If he ordered me to cut out yours, I would, too. He is the one. He is going to change it all. He is wise, and he is our leader. We are his men. We have been trained to be his men since we were born. He held me the day I was born. I know this man, and I tell you this, he has Erick’s best interests at heart. Erick needs a powerful Tergor wife. Rachel Beastscowl is that wife.”
Helena was so furious she trembled. She stared at him with hate in her heart, and wanted him dead.
“If you want to hit me, you can,” he said. “That is your choice. I’ll take it. But don’t make yourself hate me. Hate is always evil, Helena. It’s beneath you.”
“Betten, breakfast?” Helgor snapped.
Betten pulled his knife. A few quick cuts and he harvested the dove heart. He tossed the dead bird to Helgor. “We are almost there. You can eat at Erick’s.”
“I am guessing this means Virgil is alive?” Jordai said. He hugged her and threw an arm around her as they walked.
“He is fine. Stupid, but fine. He has a love now, too. Seems everyone does.”
“Not me,” Jordai said. “Ragoth women are trouble.”
She jabbed him with her elbow.
“See.” He laughed.
They arrived at Erick’s house, and he met them outside the hut. “Seven blood!” Cochran said. “Good to see you boys. How was your journey?”
“Terrible,” Helgor said.
Cochran stepped off the porch and stopped before Helgor. “Why is that, young Steeltooth?”
“Last time we are ever going to see this place,” Helgor said.
“Finest village on the mountain,” Jordai said.
“Here, here,” Erick said, as he stepped off the porch. Helena
reached for his hand, and he gripped hers. When blood squelched between their fingers, he glanced down, alarmed. She slipped the dove heart in his hand, and he stared at it, puzzled. He looked up at her, and she looked into his eyes. She would not beg, but she came close to it.
Erick looked at Brenden, and she knew he would not eat the heart. Her hopes fell. It was not much magic, but it was all she had. Erick looked back at her and popped it in his mouth. He didn’t even take the time to chew it. He just swallowed it whole and kissed her. As she tasted the coppery blood on his mouth, she nearly cried.
They laughed and talked in the Flurryfist home, and she brought them drinks and food. She sat on Erick’s lap as often as she could, and Brenden ignored it completely. She knew he knew he had won. His sister would get Helena’s man, and he didn’t need to defend her. Rachel would have Erick’s children. She would carry his name. But as Helena ran her fingers through Erick’s thick hair, she realized he would never love Rachel. Helena thought for the first time of him living his life without her, and she almost wanted him to fall in love with Rachel, just so he might be happy.
Almost.
She went home, found her father’s bottle of ale, and drank it right away. She tipped it back until the entire jug was empty, then stared at it.
She closed her eyes and felt the room sway. Hopelessness settled on her, a burden she would carry for the rest of her life. She walked out of the hut and saw them all coming. The five men walked down the stairs. She leaned against the house with the empty jug in her hand and scowled at them.
The entire village thronged around them, and Helena watched their approach with derision. Erick stepped carefully through the crowd to stop before her. She just stared at him. He frowned down at her, and she snarled. His eyes lit with fear before he whispered, “Goodbye, my love.”
“I’m tired of your sacred whispers, Erick. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what you want. I don’t care what you think of me, Erick Flurryfist. Go to your Beastscowl woman. I’m done with you.” With that, she wanted to walk away but she didn’t leave. She just stared at him. He nodded and turned with his head down. The whole village watched them. When he was gone, they all stared at her.
“It’s too bad, Helena,” an elder said.
“No, Temalet, the weather can be too bad. Maybe a cold meal is too bad. A sickness can be a bad deal, and a stubbed toe is just too damn bad. But this is not too bad. Is it, Temalet? Is it, everyone?” She turned to the village at large, screaming at them.
“This is not too bad! This is a nightmare! This is the lives of two people here, everyone. So go back to your happy homes and look into your loving spouse’s eyes and tell her or tell him it is all too damn bad. I’m done with all of you. I want nothing from this village anymore. You can all go to the hells!”
She dropped the empty jug of ale and stormed away. Ruggamon stepped in her path, and she shoved him away. When she reached the edge of the village, she ran.
She ran and ran, and knew where she was going. She knew where she had to go and what she had to do.
She broke out past a copse of trees to a great drop. She stopped, her heart catching in her chest as she looked out over the vista. Distant peaks and a callous river, a buck deer and a perfect sky. Helena stepped to the edge of the drop and looked down, staring at the broken rocks below.
She closed her eyes and stepped closer. Without Erick, there was no her. Without him, there was no life. She leaned out over the drop. “Goodbye, my love,” she whispered.
“Goodbye, my love,” she snapped. She pulled back and sneered at the valley and the vista. She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t get away that easy. And no woman is going to marry my man, even if she is a Daughter of the Seven. If I have to fight a Beastscowl to marry him, I guess I’m fighting a Beastscowl.”
She growled, looked at the drop and spat. She was done with the mountain.
She didn’t have much time. It would be dark soon, and if she was going to catch them, she had to move fast. She went first to Terala. She was the only woman Helena could not leave without saying goodbye to, the only one she had to see. She reached the village and shot out for the house of Ruggamon. Ruggamon and Terala sat on the front porch, smiling at her as she ran. Helena stopped before them and threw her hair back, gasping and out of breath.
“Yeah, we know,” Terala said. She reached behind her chair and pulled out a bag. She stood, draped it across Helena’s arm. “It will last you as long as two weeks if you are sparing with it. Eat the onion rolls first. I know how you hate them when they get stale. There is water, too, and a little wine. Don’t drink too much of it on the road. You get feisty when you drink.” Helena looked into the bag of food, and the world blurred with her tears.
Terala hugged her and kissed her cheek. “I have a lot to say to you, but no time, so I will just say I love you. I’m proud of you, and this was always going to be the way it went. When you were very little, we knew you were going to leave us. He was yours, and he was leaving. We all loved you as best we could while we had you. Now you are out of time. Run along, now. Go get him. It’s getting dark.”
Helena hugged her again and kissed her. Ruggamon laughed as Helena leapt on him. He hugged her, patting her head. “They are not going to wait, girl.”
She kissed his stubbly cheek and darted away. She still needed supplies. She got as far as her front door, where her father met her on the stairs. He carried a bag and a long dagger.
“The dagger is for the road. It’s the biggest blade you are likely to be able to fight with, and we know how horrible a shot you are with a bow. Aim for the throat if you meet up with any villains.” He was crying, and she was, too.
“Father?”
“The bag is filled with essentials, and a few of the things I want my grandchildren to have. Tell them I love them. I know with their mother’s fire and their daddy’s honor, they will go far. Tell them to come back if they can, and tell them I am proud of them.” He was weeping now. He looked at her, breaking in half, and nodded. “Always was going to be this way. You were for that boy. Knew it when I gave you that dove heart. Fine pair, you two. Always liked that boy.”
“Father,” she sobbed.
“Now, you have no time. Don’t stand around weeping, girl. He is slipping away. Go now.”
“I love you, Daddy.” He walked to the road with her as she talked. “I wish you could come with me. I want to live near you and be with you when you get older.”
“No, not for us. You are going to go serve the kings. I won’t tell you how to act. Just please try to be respectful, when you can, to the Redfist clan. They are more than you think they are.”
“Yes, Father.”
He turned her for the road. The road was filling now with a small crowd, smiling and saying goodbye. They were slowly pushing themselves between her and her father. She hated that.
The older women started shooing her off. Helena turned for the road out of town.
“I’m going to watch you go,” her father said. He sobbed, and she nodded.
“Yes, Father.” She turned and looked at the village she would never see again, and felt a stab of pain at the loss of it. She shook her head. She had no time.
Helena ran.
*******
She headed the way she had seen them go. They had walked into the forest. Betten didn’t take roads. He never believed in them. Said a lot of silly things about how a road never knew where it was going. Hardly anything that man said ever made any sense. She stuffed it away and ran. She knew they were probably walking. Betten wouldn’t have wanted to run. The men were leaving the mountain forever. They would want to do so slowly. If they walked, she might be able to find them.
She played in her head how long they had been on the road before now. Tried to think about how long she had been wasting time at the cliff, how long it took her to run home, and the time she spent saying goodbye to everyone. She thought they had a three-hour start on her. As she kept running, she thought through t
he basics.
She could not let them see her. If she was seen, they would try to send her home. Brenden would want her gone. No way she could walk into Tergor holding Erick’s hand. She needed to slip in when he was not watching. Sneak up to his party as they walked the mountain and be as invisible as possible. She did not want him taking her home like a child. She needed to be far away from the village by the time he saw her. Needed to be trapped in Tergor, unable to go home if she wanted to. She could not betray herself to him until it was too late for any other option.
She ran until she was lost and realized she had no idea where she was headed, what direction she might need to turn, or what part of the mountain she was on. She looked around for a long time before she saw a patch of moss that was disturbed, pulled up as if by a careless boot. She headed that direction.
She came to an end, then found a branch snapped in half by a passing boot. She ran that way. Over and over again she saw a mark, an overturned rock, a snapped branch from a bush. She nearly cried when she found a half-eaten apple tossed on the ground. She kept moving.
The night was pressing on when she finally saw a blond head slip behind a tree, and knew she was close. They walked for another hour before the sun dropped, then camped.
She heard laughing and a howl. Was Jordai howling? She heard Erick talking loud about a fight he had heard about, and Brenden belched. She listened quietly. When she was sure they were going nowhere, she dropped back and found a spot to sleep. She would just close her eyes a little. She needed rest in order to keep up tomorrow.
She woke to the sound of thinly sliced meat sizzling on a hot stone. She jumped up and saw a fire in her camp. A person crouched over the fire and the smell of breakfast.
She grabbed at her long dagger before she recognized the person.
“Betten,” she hissed, “What are you doing here?”
“This is not a mystery to you, is it? It is breakfast. I’m sure you have seen this before.”