by L. E. Bross
“I think there’s princess pajamas in the drawer.”
I press my fingers to my lips at Luc’s look of horror.
“Oh my god, Baz, will you get him something to sleep in, please? Luc, sit and let me check the bandage, I need to make sure you’re not bleeding.”
“Bossy woman.” X presses a kiss to my temple and I shove him away.
“Shower. You stink.”
“It’s manly,” he says, backing out of the room.
“It’s gross,” I tease. Honestly, I love the way they smell after a race, which probably makes me the gross weirdo.
Luc sinks down onto the edge of the bed. When he eyes up the ruffled pillow with a sparkly unicorn embroidered on the front like it’s going to jump up and cuddle him, I chuckle.
“Real men can pull off pink.” I press my finger along the edge of the bandage, making sure it’s attached. I don’t see any fresh blood which is what the nurse said to look for. “You can have more meds at three if you wake up in pain. I’ll set them here with a glass of water just in case.”
Baz comes back in and tosses a bundle at Luc. His arm shoots out as he plucks it from the air and I smack Baz as he ducks back out the door.
“He’s injured,” I hiss at his back.
I double-check the bandage in case he pulled his stitches then get Luc a glass of water and lay out two pain killers on the nightstand. He watches in amusement.
“What?”
“You gonna help me into my PJs, too?”
The growl coming from the doorway reminds me that Riot is still there.
“You should shower,” I say over my shoulder.
“After you’re in your own room.” His dark stare lets me know it’s pointless to argue. He avoids looking at Luc.
“If you need anything, I’m just across the hall.”
“Like fuck,” Ry grits out. “You go in her bedroom in the middle of the night and you’ll have more than a bullet wound to worry about.”
“Goodnight, Luc.” I lay my hands on Riot’s chest and push him backwards out the door. Once we’re in the hall I pull, Luc’s door shut and spin around to tell Riot he’s acting like a Neanderthal.
My back is against the wall and Riot is on me before I can blink.
His lips crash down over mine, even as he digs his fingers into my thighs and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist to keep from falling.
He devours me like he’s starving and I whimper into his mouth, clawing at his neck at the surge of white hot lust that shoots through me. Ry has always raged like a wildfire but right now, he’s an inferno igniting every inch of my skin.
His fingers dig into my ass and a low groan builds in my throat.
Desperation pours from him as he deepens the kiss in a way that hurts so good. He presses between my legs, the thick leather bulging from the strain of his erection.
“Ry.”
He groans then rips his lips away from mine.
“Fuck,” he pants. His head drops and he leans his forehead against mine. His eyes glitter as he looks up at me from under his eyelashes. “Fucking hated seeing your hands on him.”
I trace my fingertips up and down his neck. A shiver of lust skitters over my skin at the dark possessiveness in his eyes. I press my lips against his softly, never looking away from him.
“It wasn’t anything but me checking to make sure he was okay.”
He blinks slowly then shifts so that he’s holding me with just one hand and the other raises so that he can cup the side of my face. His thumb moves over my swollen bottom lip.
“I know that, Peep. You did good, I just needed to fucking touch you. Scared the shit out of me not knowing where you were tonight. If anything happened to you...”
He closes his eyes and lets out a ragged breath, holding me against him for several long heartbeats. I cling to him because I feel the same way.
“I’m so sorry, this is all my fault,” I whisper. Guilt makes my tongue feel thick.
Riot yanks his head back, his gaze wild.
“Fuck no, it isn’t. That piece of shit coward is to blame. He started it by blackmailing you.”
I shake my head and he grips the side of my neck to stop me.
“I broke into Hook’s safe. Because Peter bribed me. It’s karma, Ry. I broke into Panchard, Peter bribed me. I got caught stealing, Trey blackmailed me. You guys saved me and you almost got shot because of it. Every time I get close to finally being happy, something happens to remind me why I don’t deserve it.”
My voice cracks and Riot loosens his hold, letting my legs slide down until I’m standing. He presses his hands against the wall, caging me in so that when he ducks his head to look at me, I have no choice but to look up at him.
“You deserve happiness more than anyone else, Peep. And you’ll have it, I promise. Peter dragged you here, Trey chose to blackmail you, but what happened tonight wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t the fucked up universe telling you you’re not worth it, because you’re forgetting one thing. It brought you to us, and we’re the ones who will slay every fucking dragon coming at you to make sure you get everything you want. It’s not karma, Peep, it’s fate, giving you a fucking army to lead in this fight.”
The conviction in his voice slays me. Air stutters in my lungs and I try to swallow.
“Why?” I rasp out.
“Because you belong with us now. Your fight is our fight.”
Tears burn my eyes. My fight almost cost him too much. I’m not sure how I can ever reconcile that. The part of me that needs to keep them safe urges me to take Peter’s offer and just go before one of them end up really hurt.
The selfish part of me refuses to consider my life without them in it.
A battle rages inside me, one that they can’t fight for me.
“I need to shower because I’ve got Hook’s fucking blood on my hands and not in the way I’ve been dreaming about.”
I knock his arm. “That’s a shitty thing to say considering.”
“I know.” He drops his head and presses his forehead to mine. “But I can't stand to see even this part of him touching you, so I need to go before I punch myself in the face.”
He winks and I laugh, but then press a soft kiss to his lips.
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
He pulls me into one more hug, then scowls at his hands and holds them up and away from me.
“Sweet dreams, Peep.”
I watch as he disappears down the hall. I have no doubt he’ll be in my dreams, I’m just terrified they’ll turn into uncontrollable nightmares.
As the quiet of the house settles around me, I wrap my arms around my middle and fight against the dread seeping into my veins now that I’m alone. I hear the faint sounds of Luc moving around in the room across from me, then that too stops.
The hall is shrouded in dim light and in every shadow I see movement.
I fumble for the knob and twist, practically falling into my room. It’s too dark so I hit the switch and flood the room with light.
Not that I don’t trust what Baz said, but I still take a few minutes to look under the bed and in the closet, then lock the balcony door. Not until I’m sure Trey isn’t hiding anywhere do I stop holding my breath.
My hands are fisted so tight my knuckles are white, and when I force them to relax, the dirt under my nails catches my attention. It’s from digging my hands into the ground when X first held me back.
I scrub my hands on my thighs but it doesn’t do anything.
My skin starts to prickle when the antiseptic stench of hospital reaches my nose. I’m not even sure if it’s real or not, but the urge to rip out of my clothes is too much. I don’t even bother putting them in the laundry, I never want them near my skin again. Not when they’re thick with the memories of what happened tonight.
I crank to shower as images start to roll around in my head.
In the emptiness of the bathroom, my tears spill free.
I didn’t want to cry in front of the guys, I hate fee
ling weak, but now that I’m alone I stop fighting. I step into the shower and hot water splashes over my face, washing them away before they’re even real.
My legs feel so weak I can barely stand up and I brace my hands on the wall in front of me, dropping my head and letting the water wash down my back. I tell myself that it’s water dripping off the tip of my nose and not the proof of my own fear.
It takes enormous effort to lift my arms and wash my hair, my body.
I fight for control even as the memories yank it away from me. The brutal fight continues and by the time I pull on a tank top and sleep shorts, I can barely take a full breath.
The room is deadly silent except for the sound of my own ragged attempts at filling my lungs. I leave the light on because the idea of darkness is too much right now. I force myself to move, to cross the room and get into bed, and pull the covers up over my body.
As I lay still, forcing my lungs to expand and contract, I can’t keep the terror at bay. No matter how hard I try, I keep reliving the sound of the gunshot. Over and over.
My body jerks.
I start to shake and no amount of cocooning myself helps. Nothing does because for a few of the most agonizing minutes of my life, I thought Riot was gone. Not even the memory of Belle being dragged away fills me with this kind of panic.
I knew I’d find my little sister again, but I could have lost Riot forever.
I press my fingers to my lips to keep the mewling sounds inside, but they fill my throat, choke off my air. The room shrinks around me until it feels like I’m in a cell and now I’m really fighting to breathe.
I shove the covers off and stumble to the door.
The only thing that’s going to help is seeing Riot. Making sure that he’s okay. I flick the lock and pull open my door, not bothering with the hall lights. I know he’s the first door after the loft and by the time I get to it, when I twist the knob and push it open, my lungs have constricted to the point where I’m wheezing.
His room is lit only with a small bedside lamp. His bed is empty and still made up.
He’s not here.
What if this was all a horrible nightmare and he’s really gone? What if it wasn’t Luc in the hospital but Riot, dead. Oh god… I grip the doorjamb and whimper as stars dance in my vision.
Light from somewhere floods the room but I can't see from where.
“The fuck are you doing, Peep?”
Riot’s rough voice permeates the panic and I search wildly for him. He stands in the doorway to his bathroom, a towel around his waist and another frozen where he’d been rubbing it over his hair. Light shines out around his body, making him look like a dark angel.
I’m still not sure if he’s really here or some kind of ethereal being.
A sob rushes out and then my knees go weak.
He’s across the room before I can fall, pulling me against his solid chest.
I wrap my arms around him, digging my nails into his back to assure myself that he’s here and he’s okay. He doesn’t say anything, just holds me tight making shushing noises in my ear.
Finally, when I’m sure that I’m not dreaming, I pull back and wipe the tears off my cheeks.
I try to smile but my lips tremble and I give up.
“I tried to sleep but then it just hit me all of a sudden.” I feel like the crazy chick now that the panic is receding. Logically I knew he was just down the hall, but my mind wouldn’t let me believe it. “I thought it might all be a bad dream and that you were really…” I can’t finish the thought, but he understands.
He cups my face between his hands and presses a soft kiss against my lips.
“I’m right here. Not going anywhere, I promise.”
“I didn’t mean to barge in like that. It’s your room, I should have knocked or something.”
I drop my arms and take a step back, suddenly aware that Riot is wearing nothing but a towel. Steam from the bathroom hangs in the air, thick with the scent of his body wash. It’s intoxicating now that the panic is gone.
Tanned bare skin is on display and he smells so good. God, I’m turning into a stalker now.
Ry cocks his head.
“Whatcha thinking?”
Heat climbs up my face. Like I’m going to tell him I’m going to pilfer his body wash. Especially when I burst in here minutes ago on the verge of a breakdown.
“I should go back to my room…” My voice trails off as he runs a finger slowly up my arm. Our gazes clash and heat builds between us. A wash of goosebumps chase his touch and my breath hitches.
“You’re here now. You could stay.”
The husky undertone in his words sends a rush of warmth through me. I shiver but I’m definitely not cold. My pulse speeds up when he reaches my collarbone and slides his fingers around to the back of my neck. I love it when he holds me like that. Possessive yet gentle. I know he’d release me if I moved away, but I don’t.
I want him to hold me like this forever.
The thought both terrifies and excites me.
His gaze drops to my lips and he moves closer. With only a towel covering him, it becomes obvious very quickly that he wants me to stay.
But there’s no place I’d rather be. I realized something important tonight while hunkered down in that booth. Tomorrow isn’t given and I’ve spent my whole life waiting for a future that might not happen. I need to take what I want right now before it’s gone. And right now, I want Riot.
Time is precious and I’m not wasting another second.
“Okay,” I whisper.
His pupils dilate and his breath hitches. “Fuck, Peep, are you sure?”
I think he expected me to leave or maybe think about it for more than one hot second. I step closer until I’m pressed up against his chest. He definitely wants me to stay now. I can feel him hard against my stomach, the towel a flimsy barrier between us.
“Ever,” he rasps out, dragging his knuckles over my cheek. Over my scar. But I don’t turn away. Because he sees more than the ugly mark on my skin.
I turn my face into his touch, pressing my lips to his wrist.
A low groan rumbles in his chest.
“Aside from my sister, there’s been very little I’ve cared about in my life,” I swallow against the lump of emotion but I need him to know that he means something to me. That this means something more. “Until I met you guys. Tonight, I thought I lost you and it hurt more than I thought possible. I was scared, Ry, and I hated feeling so helpless.”
“Peep.” His voice is low, raw with emotion, but I need to finish what I have to say.
“I care about you, Ry. It scares the hell out of me but for the first time in my life, I’m willing to risk it. I didn’t realize how much I needed you guys until I almost lost one of you…”
His mouth crashes down over mine, cutting off my words as his lips part and he slides his tongue inside. The kiss is frantic and demanding and hungry. I cling to him, kissing back in a desperate attempt to steady the world that got rocked tonight.
He pulls back, panting, then leans forward again, taking my bottom lip between his teeth. The gentle tug sends a spiral of heat between my legs. I dig my nails into the back of his neck and he hisses out a breath. His pupils widen and he slides his hands under the back of my shirt, pushing it higher.
“I need to touch you,” he rasps out. “Can I?”
I nod because all my words have turned liquid.
I’ve got nothing on underneath, so when he pulls the shirt over my head, I’m bare to him. I fight back the wave of insecurity. I don’t have boobs like Aine. I’ve been eating but am still too skinny to compare with the girls at school.
A low growl of approval rumbles from his throat as he leans back enough to slide his hands forward, up my ribs until he cups both breasts. They fit into his hands perfectly and the air still left in my lungs escapes on a groan.
Dark and raw hunger shines in his eyes. “You are so fucking perfect.”
I try to duck my head because
I am anything but perfect, except Ry catches my lips before I can and then I stop worrying about what I am at the first swipe of his tongue. As the kiss deepens, he runs his thumbs over my pebbled nipples and I groan into his mouth.
His answering growl is guttural as he shifts his hips, pushing his erection against my stomach. He crowds into me, forcing me to step back until I come up short, the wall at my back.
He doesn’t waste any time before dropping to his knees and pressing his lips against my stomach. I tangle my fingers in his hair and let my eyes drift shut.
Every sensation, every brush of his lips makes my knees weaker.
He tugs my shorts down, pressing a kiss to each hip bone, then drifts lower. My shorts are around my ankles and I take a small step to each side to free them. Then groan when I feel his tongue tease just above my clit.
“Riot.”
His hot chuckle washes over my skin.
“You think I’m going to rush this? I’ve been waiting for fucking ever to get you right here. I’m going to take my time tonight, kiss every inch of your body, bring you to the edge until you beg then make you come so hard you’ll forget your own name.”
My knees actually shake this time and I tighten my fingers when he slips his tongue between my legs. The soft brush over my clit has me arching my hips to get closer.
“Oh god, can I at least lay down so I don’t fall?”
“You want to be on your back, spread out for me, Peep?”
“Fuck yes,” I say on an exhale.
He slips his arms between my legs, hooks under the knees and pushes to his feet. My back slides up the door and I grab him around the neck, holding on for dear life.
“What are you…”
His lips crash down over mine and I realize now that we are lined up perfectly. And somehow when he stood up, his towel fell off. We’re both naked and he’s hard between us. Each step rubs him between my legs on the spot that takes my breath away.
I wish his bed was a mile away.
When he sets me on the edge of the mattress, I scoot back and he climbs after me on all fours, caging my body under him.
“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about you in my bed?”
He presses a quick kiss on my lips.
“Spread out just like this.”