by Eden Fortae
His eyes were everywhere the moment the door opened. When they landed on her eyes, they remained there even as Eden allowed him entry. Once the door closed, a small smile curved her lips.
“Did you eat?”
Formal greetings be damned; he felt relieved. “I was about to have dinner with my parents before your text.”
Her face fell. He wanted to rub his finger along her brows to ease the tension.
“I’m sorry. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have pulled you away.”
“Actually,” he grinned, “you saved me.”
She returned his smile, waving toward the conjoined kitchen and dining room. Approaching the table, he noticed the aroma from the kitchen. As Eden motioned for him to sit, he saw the table set for one. She disappeared around the short wall separating the rooms. When she returned, she had a plate topped with steak, spinach, and baked potato. She disappeared again, returning with an opened bottle of wine.
He watched her intently as she poured into the glass and sat beside him. He looked down at the plate then up at her, curiously now. A moment later, the sweet sound of laughter joined the delicious scents enticing him.
“You think I’d poison you?”
“Anything’s possible if that call with Kya went left.”
To his relief, her smile remained. “It didn’t. I told her everything. She understood. She was pretty mad at one point and overall upset, but you were right. I still have my best friend. This,” she motioned toward the plate, “is a token of my appreciation. You said you never pass up food. I figured I could use that to say thanks. Had you not encouraged me to talk, I would have carried that weight to my grave. So,” she smiled again, “eat up. There’s dessert, too.”
Inside, Donny felt all types of things. Pride for the woman who’d been so convinced she was beyond help. Happiness for the progress she made because she wanted it. Grateful that he could help.
“You made all of this just for me?”
“The food, yes. The cake I grabbed from a bakery a few blocks from here. While I was there, I realized that I was completely winging this shit because you never told me your favorite foods. Then again, you’ve spent so much time trying to help me with my shit that you haven’t told me much about you at all.” Again, Eden motioned toward the plate, “Eat and tell me all there is to know about Donovan Cortes.”
His heart beat slowly and loudly. As she smiled, it grew in size.
Donny pushed the plate between them, taking a bite, then held a forkful of spinach to her lips. She didn’t fight him on it. That pleased him. If her victory today meant she’d be more receptive to his will, he’d test his limits and enjoy every moment of it.
“My birth name was Xavier Donovan. My parents gave me the option of changing it. I chose to flip it and remain me.”
“You didn’t think you’d still be you with a different name?” She accepted the food he held out for her.
“I don’t know what I thought. Looking back, I think I clung to the fact that Xavier Donovan met Tonito and survived. Donovan Xavier is loved and thrived. Do you know your birth name?”
“This is supposed to be about you.”
“It is. You can tell me what I want to know.”
She smirked, taking the fork from his hand to feed him as she spoke. “To my knowledge, I’ve always been Eden Parks. I don’t have a middle name, although my sisters do. One more way of showing me I didn’t belong.”
Donny took the fork back, doing the same, “Do you think you’ll ever want to know those things?”
With narrowed eyes, she refused his offering of food. “You’re being difficult.”
“Because I’m curious about you?”
“Because you’re being difficult!” Snatching the fork made him laugh harder. “Tell me what sparked your interest in security.”
“My mom. She used to be a weapons instructor with the Air Force. She loved it so much she came home and taught me. I enjoyed it because she wasn’t a hard-ass, you know? She made it fun. I wanted to follow in her footsteps, but when she was diagnosed with lupus, I refused to put myself in the position to be states away from her. I went to Military School here, instead. I trained with who I could and gained every certification necessary to get as close as possible to being like her.”
“Aww, I never would have guessed you’re a momma’s boy. That’s so cute.”
Donny laughed between bites. “My dad and I have a special bond, also. He’s the textbook Romeo. I used to help him with breakfast in bed for mom, surprise lunches, and dinners with romantic setups just because he felt like it. I’d go with him to buy flowers and gifts, just because. When he wasn’t teaching me how to keep my future wife happy, he drilled his love of sports into my head, working hard, and making sure I stayed on the straight and narrow. Aside from Tonito, Jay, and Chris, I can honestly say my parents are my best friends.”
A soft smile met him with a dazed look allowing him to take the fork from her. Something in her gaze struck him. He couldn’t put a name on it and was too enchanted to break the silence. Instead, he opted for feeding her.
They shared a slice of cake at his request and finished off the bottle of sweet wine. As they moved to the living room to trade stories and more facts about one another, Donny could sense something on Eden’s mind. She kept looking at the time on her phone and muffling a yawn behind her fist. The third time she did it, he suggested they call it a night. Eden turned the tables suggesting a movie. She didn’t last thirty minutes. However, Donny waited until he thought she was deep in her sleep to make his move.
Carefully, he slid as close to her as he could. Pulling her into his lap, he kept his eyes on her face while standing. He carried her to her with the light pouring through the door to guide him. The thought of putting her in something more comfortable crossed his mind. As soon as her body touched the bed, she stirred in his arms.
“I’m not sleep.”
“You were snoring.”
“I was laughing.”
“At a horror movie?”
“Mhmm.” He assumed she was on her way back to sleep with that answer. Yet, her grip on his shirt tightened. “Stay tonight.”
He froze, convinced she was sleep talking. Sure they’d spent a couple of nights together, but neither of those times had she asked. “Go to sleep, love. I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Stay,” she mumbled again. “I want to help you. Stay. Don’t run.”
The meaning hit hard. He could see enough to realize her eyes were open. She knew what she was saying, and he knew what she meant. She wanted him to sleep beside her, and when morning came, still be there without visiting the cemetery. She was asking for a lot. Something he’d only been able to achieve when he was out of town or waist-deep in street shit. Even then, he still made up for it by running when he could.
Looking down at Eden, unsure what to feel, Donny laid her down. Removing his shoes and his clothes as she did the same, he slid into bed beside her, reeling in the fact that she was allowing him to hold her.
EIGHTEEN
The exact moment he developed feelings hadn’t mattered before this point. When he decided she was worth battling his demons for, didn’t either. What mattered was that she cared enough to fight her own with him beside her. Adding on, she’d gone back to sleep with her head on his shoulder, peacefully.
Her place in his arms put him at ease. However, the demons wouldn’t let him sleep. All it took was one glance at the clock on her nightstand, and his mind was restless. He wasn’t physically running and counting, but mentally he envisioned it.
“Do you even have morning wood this early?”
Donny laughed, turning her to spoon.
“I stand corrected. Now get it off of me unless I get to swing that bat.”
“Why are you awake?”
“I felt your legs moving. Like you were running.”
“I’m sorry.” To show it, he dragged his hand through her hair to massage her scalp. At first, Eden relaxed. Then she
reached up and pushed his hand away.
“You’re not putting me back to sleep.” Facing him, she stilled. Streams of white lights from the open blinds cast shadows on the wall. He could see her ogling his chest. She tried to regain her composure by laying her head on the pillow to level their eyes. But they still drifted. “Let’s talk.”
“About?”
“If the roles were reversed, what would you want me to say?”
“That you find me extremely attractive and want to go on a date with me.”
That sleepy smile had his heart skipping. “You’d want me to talk about something that makes me happy.”
“What if I said I can’t think of anything that makes me happier than being here with you?”
“I’d think you were trying to cloud my mind.”
“I’m capable of that?” His false innocence earned him another smile.
“Months ago, you couldn’t get me to sit next to you without worrying. Yet, here we are—sharing a bed without sexual contact. You’re capable of everything. That’s your superpower.”
“Yet here we are, awake before dawn because I’m not able to let go of something that hasn’t been an issue for over twenty years. “
Eden sat up fully, sliding back to the headboard. “Why is it?”
Donny rolled to his back, shoving a hand into his hair. “I wake up feeling lost. It’s like I have to remind myself that I’m not at Vanessa’s anymore and that they’re dead. The few times I didn’t wake up that way was when Tonito was sleeping on the other side of the room and when you and I were together.”
As his hand moved from his face to his eyes, Eden took hold of it. Opening them, he was surprised to find her leaning over him with a soft expression.
“When you wake up alone.”
“I didn’t wake up alone this morning.”
“You’ve been overthinking since I asked you to stay, haven’t you?” He didn’t answer. She knew. The way she tilted her head said as much. “Me saying this to you probably makes me a hypocrite, but I’m going to risk it.” The pause between statements was short yet suspenseful. “No matter where you awaken, they can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe. You have to remind yourself that you’re Donovan. You’re loved, thriving, a survivor. Take the power back.”
The questions of when and where were back. When did his heart start beating to the sound of her voice? Where would he end up if she never felt the same? He couldn’t let his mind go there. Not while he had her in this rare state.
Taking a leap of faith, Donny caressed her cheek. When she didn’t move away from him, he pulled her down to lay with him.
“What are we going to do when this doesn’t work anymore?”
“What do you mean?” He had an idea but wanted her to elaborate anyway.
“You’re going to be married someday, and we won’t be able to lean on each other anymore.”
“Yes, we will because I’ll be married to you, and if you don’t lean on me, I’ll spank you.”
“Don’t make it sound so fun.”
“It will be. Two damaged people, conquering their fears together, fucking shit up. The world isn’t ready.”
He felt her head move. Instinctively he looked down to find her staring back.
“I’m not either.”
“Don’t worry,” his hand trailed over her shoulder and into her hair, “I can wait.”
“Hey, Chace. I know you’re traveling the country, being awesome, and probably taking advantage of rockstars and guppies, but you could call a bitch back. I miss you.”
At the end of her message, Eden stared at her phone. The previous call and text information displayed for a brief moment was disheartening. They hadn’t talked since he landed in Albuquerque. Back then, there was only the hospital incident, and Donny’s crazy cousin act to report. Since there’d been much to discuss and good things to share. Since Chace hadn’t so much as replied to a text.
Shoving her phone into her bag, Eden entered the building at the corner of West 35th Street. Upon entry, she slung the strap over her shoulder, greeting the guards on the other side of the scanner with a smile. Months ago, she would have used lingering stares to get through without the hassle of removing damned near everything and simply because she could. Today, there was no need.
The bald one with smooth dark skin and thick graying beard motioned her forward. A loud drawn out beep from the metal detector echoed in the lobby. As instructed she raised her arms and spread her legs, and took note of the sparkle in the guard’s eyes.
“How are you today, beautiful?”
“Good. Yourself?”
“Great now. Are you here for self-defense classes, weapons training, or security?” He moved the wand slowly around her legs.
“I’m here to see someone.”
“Turn for me.” She did. Arms raised and legs slightly apart like before. Heat brushed against her ear as the wand moved under her left arm. “To see me?”
“If your name is Mr. Cortes, yes.”
The other two guards visibly reacted. One made a face as if Eden slapped the man. The other dropped his smile. The one behind her, though, was relentless.
“I can be anyone or anything you need, Sweetheart.”
“Everything but Mr. Cortes,” the lady behind the front desk stood with the phone to her ear. “Yes, Sir. Will do.” She grew quiet for a moment then hung up. “Mr. Cortes said to allow Ms. Parks through without protocol going forward. Also, he said to do so without flirting or you’re fired. You can come with me, Ms. Parks.”
Lips turned inward, Eden winked. The young girl wearing the same black t-shirt and grey cargos ushered her onto the elevator with a seriousness the men lacked. She pushed the second button and stepped back.
“Make a right, then straight to the corner office.”
“Thank you,” she managed before the doors closed. The directions couldn’t have been more precise. Still, she found herself walking with hesitant steps. The third floor wasn’t as uninformed as the lobby. People were jogging through the halls. Some of the offices were set up like classrooms. The floors were marble; dark gray swirled with white. The walls not made of glass were brick.
Eden raised her hand to knock on the dark when it opened. Donny stood on the other side with his cell pressed to his ear. He was scolding someone on the other end of the line while smiling at her. It was no surprise that his office resembled his home. Clean, neat, and modern.
With his guidance, she sat in one of the plush leather chairs by his desk. As he joined her, his eyes remained on her for the duration of the call. The moment it ended, he tossed the device into his pocket and pulled her up with him for a hug. Since that night in her apartment weeks prior, hugs happened regularly. She no longer cringed or tensed at his touch and even initiated it herself. The ability to do so was attributed to the fact that he’d proven himself to be a safe haven.
His arms squeezed her the way she liked it. Her hands roamed his back, massaging it the way he wanted.
“Happy Birthday.”
He pulled back with a boyish grin but didn’t release her. “Thanks. You came down here to tell me that?”
“Kind of,” Eden pulled through her bag for the box she purposely hid between two pads just in case Donny was in the lobby when they scanned her bag. His gift was one requiring extensive research. He deserved the surprise she envisioned.
Donny took the box with what felt like reluctance. “This better not be expensive.”
Of course, that was the issue. He knew she hated modeling now and that selling sex toys on the side was yet another hustle she wasn’t feeling these days. Any chance he could front the bill for something, he did as a means of preventing her from opening herself up for bookings or club events. Regardless of how hard she fought him, he almost always got his way when it came to money matters.
“Or what?”
“Or that’s your ass.”
“You stay threatening me with a good time. Open it.”
He
shook his head and smirked, sliding the lid off of the square box. The moment he saw what was inside, his expression fell into something unreadable. Nervously, Eden took the box from him and retrieved the white gold and onyx bracelet. “I didn’t know if your boys were doing something for you tonight, and I wanted to make sure you got this today.”
His eyes were on her face rather than the gift. That played with her anxiety so much she had to look away to speak.
“The dragon is you. I see it every day that I get to experience you. The Ouroboros originated in ancient Egypt but has since made it into western culture. Although the representation has changed slightly, I think there’s one that fits you perfectly.” She unhooked the bracelet and placed it on his wrist, “The dragon eating its tail is a symbol of eternal recreation or rebirth. You–the dragon–are beautiful and mythical in the sense that you’re one of a kind. You’re the embodiment of strength, reborn through pain. That makes you stronger and more beautiful. I hope you like it.”
Bracelet secured, Donny took a good look at it wordlessly. His face was unreadable again. Suddenly he had her back in his arms. The kiss on her cheek was too close to her lips. Instinctively her eyes closed. He took his sweet ass time pulling back. Each second his lips were on her, her body screamed. How long were they going to do this dance? Flirtatiously play and speak sweetly without anything physical? There was no agreement to cease sexual contact. Somewhere along the way, they’d made it along that path.
To say she didn’t miss it or think about it would be a lie. Donny always wore something that sparked memories or said something not intended to be sexy but was. Numerous times they’d been in the position to have sex. Instead, Donny gave her intimacy, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as she once thought.
“Come to dinner tonight?” She opened her eyes slowly, finding him still too close for comfort. “My family’s taking me out. I’d love for you to come.”