by Martha Carr
Lisa folded her arms. “Are they doing okay with all this attention?”
“Totally,” Rex replied. “We can handle anything.”
Luther yipped. “Not okay, lady. Johnny, let’s go back to the hotel.”
The dwarf studied the menu within the clear case hung on the outer wall of Rye Street Tavern and shrugged. “Comfort food. Exactly what we need if you’re ready for dinner.”
Lisa scanned the sign over the restaurant’s front door, then peered through the closest window. “This looks nice.”
“I think it is.”
Turning slowly toward him, she inclined her head. “Is that how you ask every redhead out on a date?”
“I ain’t askin’ a redhead darlin’. Not a real one, anyway.”
Her eyes widened over a cautious smile. “So you’re asking me on a date.”
He chuckled and opened the door for her. “Are you hungry or what?”
Laughing, she stepped inside the restaurant and the hounds trotted through the door before Johnny joined them.
Luther chuckled. “You didn’t say no, Johnny.”
“Uh-oh.” Rex sniffed at the floor. “Johnny, we know we’re the best hounds and everything, but you didn’t have to ask us on a date too.”
“I didn’t,” the bounty hunter grumbled.
Thinking more about the hounds and less about public access, Johnny asked for a table on the back patio, which was strung overhead with soft white lights as sunset cast an orange glow over Baltimore. Two other tables had customers, but they were far enough apart that he could finally get some air.
“Finally. Quiet.”
Rex and Luther sniffed around in the green lawn behind the patio, their tails sticking straight up in the air. “Sure is nice, Johnny.”
“Yeah. Where’d all the people go?”
The dwarf leaned back in his chair and sighed. Well, it would be quiet without them hounds goin’ on. Still, I’ll take those two over those damn pony folks any day.
Lisa sipped her water. “I’m surprised a place like this has your one and only drink.”
“What are you tryin’ to say?”
“Only that this seems a little more…upscale.”
Johnny grunted. “Just ’cause it ain’t expensive don’t mean it ain’t quality.”
“Hey, I’m not here to judge. I’m merely surprised.”
Their server returned with their drinks on a tray and set Lisa’s gin cocktail down first. “Gin Campari Sour for the lady. And your Johnny Walker Black, sir.”
“I appreciate it.” He glanced at his usual four fingers of whiskey in the rocks glass and nodded. “There’s more where that came from, right?”
“Yes. Your manager made it perfectly clear we were to reserve the entire bottle.” The server grinned and cleared his throat. “And can I say, Mr. Walker—”
“Johnny.”
“Right. Can I just say what an honor it is to serve you tonight?”
He lifted his drink to his lips. “Go ahead.”
“I grew up watching your show, and after I heard you were coming back for one more season, I finally got my wife to sit down with me and start watching Dwarf the Bounty Hunter all over again. We’re almost through Season Two.”
The dwarf frowned at him. “When did you start?”
“Oh, Monday night.” The man smiled a sheepish smile. “The perks of streaming old favorites for binge-watching at home, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“She already loves it.”
“Good for her.”
As Johnny sipped his whiskey, Lisa and the server exchanged an awkward glance. “All right. Well, you heard tonight’s specials, so I’ll give you two another minute to look at the menu.”
“Thank you.” She nodded and forced herself not to laugh when he retreated into the restaurant again and glanced over his shoulder in awe at the bounty hunter seated in his section. With a smirk, she leaned forward over the table. “Your manager?”
Johnny set down his glass with a contented sigh. “Sure. Howie wears any number of hats.”
“I thought he was your old director.”
“Yep. And crowd control. PR. Manager.” He pointed at her. “That fella can do more than a crew three times the size of what Nelson thought he was so smart hirin’ for this. Asshole.”
Lisa removed the sprig of rosemary from her glass and took a sip. “And curator of Johnny Walker’s one and only drink.”
He raised his glass. “Howie knows what he’s doin’ and I ain’t gotta ask.”
She leaned back in her seat and smirked as she nursed her cocktail.
“What?”
“What?”
Johnny raised an eyebrow. “You’re lookin’ at me funny, darlin’. Even when you’re a redhead with green eyes and freckles, I know that face.”
Lisa laughed. “You do?”
“You bet. It means those wheels up there are turnin’ and you ain’t decided whether or not to let it out. So go ahead. Spill.”
“Okay. I think all this…” She gestured around them at the city of Baltimore in general. “Being here with a film crew, seeing your fans, having your manager back to make sure whatever restaurant you go to has a bottle waiting for you—”
“You’re playin’ it up, darlin’.” He sipped his whiskey again.
“I think you like it.”
“Huh.”
Lisa leaned forward, propped both elbows on the table, and rested her chin on the backs of her hands. “I think you’re back in your element, and you simply don’t want to admit it.”
“Naw. My element is out on the swamp in my airboat with a rifle in my hands.”
“Sure. But there’s no rule against belonging in more than one place.”
Johnny looked at her in surprise and snorted. “Are you tryin’ to use all that head-shrinker crap on me again?”
“No, Johnny.” She grinned. “I’m merely calling it like I see it. And sure, I’m playing the reformed convict Stephanie Wyndom through the whole thing, but I’m still glad I’m here to see it.”
“Huh.” He looked out across the back patio to where Rex and Luther stood with their snouts pressed against the grass. “I guess I could say the same.”
“The perks of having a partner who gets it, right?”
“You’re seriously pushin’ this partner business, ain’tcha?”
Lisa shrugged. “Well, you haven’t tried to correct me lately. I’m simply making sure it’s real.”
“Well, you can’t go waltzin’ around as Stephanie callin’ yourself my partner.”
“Oh, I know.”
Their server returned to take their orders. Lisa chose the grilled shrimp scampi, and Johnny went with two plates of pork chops for the hounds, the Maryland rockfish with shrimp and grits for himself, plus an order of a dozen oysters on the half-shell to start. When he ordered the latter, Lisa leaned back in her chair with wide eyes. “And another whiskey when you can.”
“Absolutely.” The man left to put the order in, and he shook his head. “You’re lookin’ at me like I ordered baby seal. They’re oysters.”
She smirked. “You know what oysters are known for, right?”
If the word aphrodisiac comes outta her mouth, I’m done. “Sure.” He downed the rest of his whiskey. “Bein’ delicious, same as them shrimp and grits. If a restaurant up here can pull off that kinda southern cookin’ the right way, I aim to stop by a time or two.”
“Oh, yeah? You’d come to Baltimore merely for the shrimp?”
“It ain’t my first time in Charm City, darlin’.” He grimaced as he looked out over the city skyline beneath the sunset. “But fuck comin’ back in August. If I never see another Yankee done up like a damn horse, it’ll be too soon.”
She chuckled and shifted a little in her chair. “BronyCon. I had no idea that existed.”
“It shouldn’t.” He raised his glass toward her. “To skippin’ over what gives ya nightmares.”
Lisa startled and stared
at his raised glass.
“Darlin’, not joinin’ a toast is worse than leavin’ a fella hangin’ for a high-five.”
“You’ve never given me a high-five.”
“It’s only a comparison. Come on.”
She clinked her cocktail glass against his, then tipped it back for a long drink.
“Whoa, now.” Johnny chuckled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re havin’ second thoughts about this dinner.”
“What? No, of course not.”
“Then what’s all that about?”
Lisa took a deep breath and set down her drink gently. “Are you trying to hit me with all the head-shrinking business now?”
“I’m sure I’d do a piss-poor job of it.” His smile faded, and he set his drink down too. “But you look like you got somethin’ on your chest. And I got ears, so…”
“Nightmares.”
“Say again?”
Her mouth twitched into a tight smile. “That’s what you said. ‘To things that don’t give you nightmares,’ right? It…caught me off guard.”
“Huh. Look, I ain’t sayin’ I know you inside-out, darlin’, but I wouldn’t’ve pegged you for the kind to start feelin’ down for a lack of bad dreams.”
“Nope.” Lisa stared at the table, then met his gaze. “It’s the opposite, unfortunately.”
“Oh.” Johnny tugged his beard and narrowed his eyes. “From Portland?”
“Yeah. Honestly, I got more sleep the first night here than I could pull together over the last two weeks. And I guess it was easy to forget I’d been kept up at night by…different things.”
“And I brought it up again like an asshole.” He gestured apologetically and leaned back in his chair. “I didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”
“I know you didn’t. I’m fine.”
“You look as pale as a ghost, darlin’.” Johnny snorted. “Granted, I reckon most of it’s just that illusion—”
“Very funny.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“Not really.” Lisa picked her drink up again and forced an easier smile onto her lips. “It’s simply another reason I’m glad to be here—along with not taking in paid bounties and running around Baltimore as the ‘sexy sidekick’ in a show no one thought they’d ever see again.”
He laughed and slapped a hand on the table. “It wasn’t my first plan.”
“No, the show was my plan.”
“Yeah, all right. Give yourself a pat on the back for that one. But I tell you what, darlin’. I reckon havin’ a better-lookin’ face than my ugly mug up on folks’ screens all the time has a helluva lot more to do with them crowds today.”
“Wow. You’re laying it on thick.”
“Next time, we’ll have to bring on Agent Lisa Breyer as a permanent replacement.”
She grinned at him. “And watch your ratings plummet.”
“I don’t give a damn about all that. I’d rather see you rollin’ around with me instead of Stephanie, is all.”
Chapter Fifteen
Their server brought out the oysters and Johnny’s second drink, which drew the hounds from the back lawn to sniff around the table.
“Johnny, you got oysters?” Rex licked a small drop of lemon juice on the patio. “Get any extra for some hounds?”
“No way, bro.” Luther backed away from the table and sat, staring at the plate of shells. “You gotta be careful with those, Johnny. Remember that time we helped Ronnie haul in a bushel and I ate some?”
Rex tittered. “Oh, yeah. The Wood Elf said he’d shoot you himself if you didn’t stop humping his leg.”
“It hurt.”
“Your feelings?”
Luther crouched and uttered a low whine. “No…”
When their dinner arrived with Lisa’s second drink and Johnny’s third, they were both laughing at a story from one of Dwarf the Bounty Hunter’s last few episodes.
“I caught him right here under the arm.” Johnny poked his armpit. “And he skipped along after that speedboat like he forgot the damn water skis. I took him to the pier like that and hauled him right in.”
She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and shook her head. “That’s insane.”
“Naw, darlin’. It’s only the show.”
He set the two plates of pork chops on the patio and whistled. Both hounds raced toward him from the far side of the lawn.
“Hey, Johnny! I think there’s—ooh. What is this?”
“It’s like bacon, bro.” Rex sniffed his plate before tearing into his meal. “Very weird-shaped bacon. Keep talking, though.”
“Wait, what was I saying?”
“I don’t know, but this is delicious!”
With a chuckle, Lisa picked her fork up and studied her dinner. “I’m surprised by how easy it was to get that out of you.”
“Get what out?” Johnny shoved a spoonful of grits into his mouth and closed his eyes. “Damn. They got this right.”
“That story.” She looked at him with a coy smile, her fork poised over her shrimp. “I thought I would have to pry any of it out of you.”
“Well, you already looked through my record with the Department.”
“Yeah, but those were federal cases. I had no idea about all the extra jobs you took on the side.”
“It’s a good thing those ain’t in my Bureau file.” He snorted and tossed a whole shrimp into his mouth, tail and all. “It makes a different kinda record for all the rest, but it’s hard to believe those damn episodes are still floatin’ around out there.”
“Part of me wants to go through and watch them.”
“Oh, sure. Invite our waiter and his wife over while you’re at it. Y’all can have a big time of it.”
She laughed and took the first mouthful of her pasta. “Oh, wow. This is incredible.”
“Good.” Johnny smirked at her and held his water glass down by his chair for the dogs.
Rex looked up first and licked his muzzle. “Thanks, Johnny.”
“Hey, don’t drink it all,” Luther muttered. “You’re not the only hound on the patio.”
“Still, it ain’t nothin’ like the grub Darlene makes back home or the kinda eatin’ I can find just down the street on any given day.”
“You don’t think this is better?” Lisa asked.
“Naw, I ain’t sayin’ that. It’s not better, but there is somethin’ to be said for a new take on a good thing.”
“So you’re enjoying yourself.”
“I might be.” He drained the last of his second whiskey, picked up the third, and brought it to his mouth. “Are you?”
The small smile playing on her lips made him narrow his eyes. “Are you asking as the bounty hunter, Johnny? Or as the guy who asked me out to dinner?”
He cleared his throat. “Well, there ain’t two of me, darlin’.”
“Yes, and both worlds are better because of it.”
“Aw, now come on.” Johnny chuckled and leaned toward her. “You tryin’ to tell me you wouldn’t be happy to see two of me?”
“No, one is more than enough.” Lisa stared at him as she sipped at her cocktail. “Honestly, I like only the one.”
“Uh-huh.” Shit. If it ain’t the whiskey, it’s the goddamn oysters. What the hell am I gettin’ myself into? “Well, I’ll tell you what, darlin’. Beneath that redheaded exterior of yours—”
She laughed and batted her eyes.
“—is a woman I’d be proud to call my partner.”
Lisa blinked in surprise. “That sounds conditional, though.”
“Naw, only me thinkin’ out loud.” You can stop talkin’ anytime, Johnny. The last thing you need is to get tangled up even more in this. Right?
“Well, I’m glad that’s what you can see under this mask.” Chuckling, she gestured at her Stephanie face.
“There’s more. Ain’t just Agent Breyer I see, neither.”
“Oh, really?”
“Um…Johnny?” Luther turned around to sniff the
air behind his master. “Maybe you should—”
The dwarf snapped his fingers and kept staring at Lisa.
“But seriously, Johnny,” Rex added. “You’re not gonna—”
“Hush.” Johnny grabbed his rocks glass and held it on the table. “Bein’ an agent is what you do, darlin’. It ain’t who you are.”
“And you think you know who I am already, is that it?” She smiled, her eyes a little glassy after almost two tall cocktails.
“Sure. Under all the rest of it, I see—” A flicker of movement reflected in the window beside their table caught his attention. “Those bastards.”
Her smile disappeared. “Excuse me?”
Johnny’s chair scraped loudly as he pushed it away and stood to whirl around. Cody was zeroing in on them with the camera and the man with the boom followed closely behind and tried to get a good angle with the mic.
“Oh, jeez.” Lisa sighed.
“Tried to tell you, Johnny,” Luther muttered.
“You just couldn’t hear past the goo-goo eyes, could you?” Rex added.
“Private dinner, assholes.” Johnny pointed at the camera. “Get lost.”
Phil popped his head up from behind a bush on the other side of the back lawn. “These are the kind of moments we need to see too, Johnny.”
“No, they ain’t. Y’all weren’t invited.”
“We don’t have to be,” Phil continued as he walked around the bush. “We’re getting shots of your life. And viewers are going to love seeing Johnny Walker on a date with the beautiful Stephanie—”
The dwarf grabbed his half-full water glass and chucked it at the guy. Phil dodged it with a yelp, and the glass shattered and sprayed all over the patio.
“Johnny, please,” Lisa protested.
“Get lost, dipshit.” He snarled, snatched his utility knife from his belt, and flicked it open.
“Johnny!” Howie hobbled down the sidewalk at the side of the building. “Fuck. They told me they went back to the hotel.”
“I don’t care where they go, but they need to get outta here real fast before there’s a permanent director position for you to fill, Howie.”
“I know, I know.” The old man leaned against the wall of the restaurant to catch his breath. “Phil, get the hell back here—”