by RJ Blain
“We’re free Saturday. I need to work on your duck pen, anyway, so we’ll cook at your place.”
I grunted. “Fine. But I’m expecting at least one duck I don’t have to share with anyone.”
“Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not all right! You’re making me go to a formal event. That’s never going to be all right!”
“It starts at eight at Four Seasons. Don’t be late.” My father hung up.
Sighing, I returned Raymond’s phone to the center console. “We’re going to have to reschedule tonight’s seduction.”
“What sort of event is going on tonight?”
“The kind where a nice lady informed my father he needed to please hold for the President of the United States.”
“I’d say that’s a completely reasonable excuse for a seduction rescheduling.”
“Like hell it is. If I had a single choice in the matter, I’d be attending the seduction.”
He chuckled. “Thank you.”
I slumped in the seat and wondered if I could get away with making a run for the border. “How long would it take me to reach Mexico from here?”
“Driving, flying, or swimming?”
“The fastest way.”
“You don’t have your passport with you, so you can’t fly. I’m not driving you to Mexico, so you’d have to go swimming with the kraken again. It would take you longer than you have to reach Mexico.”
“Well, that’s just fucking fantastic.”
“I never would have guessed you have issues with formal events.”
“I have an issue with formal events when they involve the President. Actually, I have an issue with any event that involves the President. Hey, are you busy tonight at eight? Apparently, I can bring a plus one. It’s not as good as, say, a seduction, but it’s the best I can do.”
“I own a suit, but it’s not one suitable for formal events.”
“My dress technically isn’t good for formal events, either.”
“Well, as my plans for this evening have been unfortunately cancelled, I suppose I could be talked into attending a formal event with you.”
“Can we do the talking in bed at our next scheduled seduction?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. We can.”
“Maybe we should pull over and get the seduction out of the way now. At the rate we’re going, we’re never going to be in the house at the same time let alone able to go through with our seduction plan. This is a concern.” I straightened, wrinkling my nose at how we’d been thwarted thus far. “We might be cursed.”
“Don’t worry, Olivia. We don’t need to pull over to be able to have a seduction, and you deserve better than in the back of a police cruiser.”
“Are you nuts, Raymond? The back of a police cruiser is the stuff of fantasies, and I absolutely refuse to be ashamed of that.”
“It’s okay, Olivia. That one’s a two-way street, and I’m sure we can work to a mutually beneficial arrangement off some dirt road in the middle of the night or in the garage. I draw the line in broad daylight along a busy highway, though. I’m a lot of things, but I don’t share.”
“That’s fair. I don’t share, either.”
“Then it’s a date, but we won’t schedule that one. I’ll just have to put in some effort, lure you out into the country, and pull you over one night soon.”
“I’m not going to break any laws intentionally to get pulled over, just so you know.”
“This is a good thing. I’ll think of a reason to pull you over. And since you’re an FBI agent, I’ll have to search you.”
“Of course. I could be carrying a dangerous weapon somewhere on my person.”
He chuckled. “I look forward to seeing what sort of things you might be hiding on your person.”
After I survived the formal event, I needed to go shopping for lingerie suitable for such an adventure, pick up a nice thigh holster, and find a cheap dress destined to be ruined. “I’ll make sure to text you when I have to go somewhere late at night.”
“That sounds like a good idea. I approve.”
“Are they getting you a dog?”
“Not yet, but it’s in the works. They’re fighting over what kind of dog I get, debating how much training I need, and now that you’ve been located, if you’re getting a dog or if we’re going to share one.”
“Why would we share a work dog?”
Raymond shrugged. “No idea. I asked that question this morning on the way to the hospital, and nobody would give me a straight answer.”
“Cops are weird.”
“We are. FBI agents are weirder. You attacked a nuke.”
“It’s not my fault they dropped it right on my head. If they hadn’t dropped it right on my head, I wouldn’t have attacked it.” Probably. “I’m still pissed that fucking warlock teleported away.”
“We all are.”
“How many felonies do you think I committed attacking a nuke?”
“I honestly don’t know. I figure they would’ve arrested you rather than invite you to a formal event with the President of the United States if you had committed a felony.”
“You’re probably right.” I would’ve rather been arrested for a felony than deal with politicians and their groupies. “Are you sure running away isn’t an option? I’m too tired to attend a formal event tonight. I have three inches of medical files saying why I shouldn’t go to a formal event tonight.”
“I do think forcing you into a formal event is pretty cruel and unusual. And a punishment. You can barely walk without wincing.”
“I walked without wincing?”
“You didn’t, but I figured it sounded really bad if I just said you can barely walk.”
“Well, I can barely walk. By tonight, barely able to walk will be a crowning achievement.”
He sighed, waited for an opening, and got back on the road. “I’ll go with you, and if I feel you’re being too stressed or can’t handle it, I’ll take you home and tell the President to fuck off if he doesn’t like it.”
“That is the hottest thing a man has said to me in years.”
“I have to admit, I’m disturbed. Surely a man has said something hotter to you than that.”
“Well, let’s go get something to eat is pretty hot, but that’s about all I’ve got.”
“I’m concerned, Olivia.”
“I’d say it’s not my fault I’m such a stick in the mud while working too much, but it totally is.”
“I’m going to plan a very strenuous therapy regime I will expect you to follow.”
“I never thought I’d say I’m looking forward to a therapy session.”
“I’d try to play it off as being a gentleman, but I’m being very selfish and greedy right now,” he admitted.
I laughed. “I hope your therapy planning goes better than our scheduled seductions. Right now, all we’re doing is striking out.”
“I think we’ll be all right.”
I hoped so.
As promised, Raymond fed me as much Italian food as I could swallow without bursting at the seams. He drove us home, where I flopped onto my prized chair for a few hours. After he dragged me from my hard-earned nap, I entered my personal hell, which involved getting ready to attend the formal event. I needed Raymond’s help to wiggle into the damned dress, decorated with charcoal and black dragons entangled on a field of gold and bronze, and the bastard openly enjoyed the show.
“I had no idea it was so challenging for a woman to get into dresses. Had I known, I would’ve offered to help long ago. That dress fits you like a second skin.” Raymond ran his finger along my upper arm, giving the off-the-shoulder strap a tug. “Does this even do anything?”
“Beyond make my shoulders look sexy?”
“Well, yes.”
“I’m assuming it’ll keep my breasts in the dress where they belong for the entire evening.”
Raymond frowned, and he stared at the strap. I turned and pointed at my breasts, which the d
ress fully covered. “Breasts are here. You’re allowed to look at them. But you’re not allowed to remove them from the dress at this point in time.”
“I can’t tell if you or the dress is prettier.”
“Thank you. I’m going to ruin it when I try to limp in a pair of heels.”
“Don’t wear heels. Do you have a pair of shoes that matches that isn’t a torture device?”
“I do.”
“Wear those. What’s the plan for your hair?”
I raised my brows. “I have a plan?”
“You do now. Do you have bobby pins and a barrette?”
“I did at my apartment.”
“Then you do here somewhere. I helped your parents empty out your apartment over the week; it kept them from having a complete meltdown while waiting for news. Were they in your bathroom or bedroom?”
“Bathroom.”
“Then they’re in your bathroom now.” Raymond crossed the room and rummaged through the vanity drawers. He returned with my basket of hair accessories, picked a dragon brooch, and armed himself with a brush. With what I could only consider as a form of magic, he contained my hair so it went into hiding, as effective as a bun for getting it out of the way but a great deal more elegant.
Had I been in charge, I would’ve clipped it in the messiest bun possible and called it a day.
He used an obscene number of bobby pins to make sure my hair stayed in place, and only when he was satisfied did he add a layer of hairspray to ensure I’d need a lot of help to escape the hairstyle later.
“Where did you learn to do that?”
“I have sisters. As the older brother, it was my sacred duty to defend their hair at the cost of my life if necessary.”
“How many sisters do you have?”
How did someone with sisters become so traumatized around women? I needed to meet this ex-girlfriend of his and take a closer look at her. While I was taking a closer look, I’d have to give her a few good reasons to keep far away from Raymond. I could be a dragon just like the two idiots rampaging in the local wilderness, territorial over what I perceived as mine.
“Five.”
My mouth dropped open. “Five?”
“Annie is the eldest, and she inherited my father’s mother’s red hair, and it’s curly. It’s so curly my father swore the brat couldn’t possibly be his for years until Annie demanded proof she was, indeed, his. She is, for the record. She’s just a walking genetic mutation. Then there’s Sophie. She’s the girl version of me.”
“So, she’s drop dead gorgeous and you had to beat off boys when she was a teen?”
“Good and accurate guess. Then there’s Patricia. She’s a nurse, and she’s the kind of nurse who will send you home to mommy and daddy whimpering because she won’t give an inch. She’s good at her job, but she doesn’t tolerate any bullshit.”
“Is she looking for a new job? I always need a nurse like that on the medical team, and when I’m done with Eddy and my idiot boss, they’ll need some nursing.”
He laughed. “She’d turn the FBI upside down within a week.”
The FBI needed to be kept on its toes. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“After Patricia, there are the twins, Janette and Joleen. They have, in their infinite teenage wisdom, decided they will become a journalist and a photographer. I haven’t had the heart to tell them they’re actually cops with an interest in the news.”
“I recognize that tone, Detective Davis. That’s the tone of someone determined to make sure those girls become cops.”
“It’s not my fault they’ve tried to follow me to work since I joined the force.”
I laughed. “Do they still do it?”
“Every chance they get. I give it a week before they realize I’ve moved to stage an invasion.”
My brows rose. “You haven’t told your family you’ve moved?”
“Nope.”
I blinked and tried to figure out what would happen if I tried that stunt with my family. “I feel like I’ve lost an epic opportunity to fuck with my father.”
Raymond smirked. “We can look into getting a vacation home and pretend we’ve moved there permanently the first time we skip town.”
Damn, when the detective decided on something, he went all in. Then again, with the steal I’d gotten on the property, a vacation home somewhere quiet and remote wasn’t out of the question. “Somewhere deep in the country near a lake?”
“As water elementalists do need exposure to their element to thrive, that seems like a reasonable request to me.”
“I have told you I’m essentially a terrible person, right? One that’s absolutely terrible at relationships? This seems somewhat important right now.”
“You’re not a terrible person, Olivia.”
“I missed our first scheduled seduction taking a nap at the bottom of the ocean. That qualifies me.”
He laughed and shook his head. “I have bad news for you. You’re unqualified to be a terrible person for that. I need to get changed, so put on a pair of shoes that won’t kill your feet, and if you decide to use makeup, it’s in your bathroom in the top vanity drawer.”
Formal events sucked. They especially sucked when I was forced to sit at the same table with the President of the United States, the First Lady, some hot-shot senator who had a crush on all things supernatural, and a congressman who wanted nothing more than to delve into the dark depths of nuclear research and development. The President and First Lady were yet to arrive, but according to the schedule, they’d be the last to show, which would officially begin the dinner.
I couldn’t help but wonder who had been evicted from the event venue to make space for the President and his pack of political goons.
Senator Camden wouldn’t stop staring at me, and Congressman Mandel licked his lips like I was the main course of his dinner.
I’d seen looks like his before, and unlike with Raymond, I wasn’t at all tempted to show off my legs. If anything, the guy gave me the creeps. Whenever I could get away with it, I glared at my father, who was safely seated with the local police chiefs.
Raymond leaned towards me and whispered, “You look ready to go over to your father’s table and indulge in a murder.”
“There’s a reason for that.”
“How much do you know about Mandel?”
It was never a good sign when the cop brought up a politician. When my old man started gossiping about politicians, it almost always involved speculations on their assorted crimes. “Enough to know I wouldn’t want to be caught in an alley alone with him while wearing this dress,” I whispered back.
“He’s a fire elementalist, so you can handle him, but your instinct is spot on. He’s a shameless womanizer.”
“That describes half of Washington.”
“Just be careful around him. And try to contain any urges to go murder your father or any of the chiefs and captains sitting with him.”
“If he didn’t look so damned smug, I wouldn’t be tempted to kill him.”
Raymond chuckled.
Senator Camden cleared his throat, and I wondered why men thought clearing their throats indicated they deserved my attention. While tempted to ignore the politician, I gave him my attention. I raised a brow and waited.
“Special Agent Abrams, what is your relation to Commissioner Abrams, if I may ask? You are a relative, are you not?”
I blinked, glancing at my father, who caught my gaze and smirked. I kept my urge to do something childish in check and forced a smile. “He’s my father.”
Both politicians stared at me with wide eyes.
“Yes, he’s actually my father. The woman seated with him is my mother. I take after her. My father is still terribly disappointed I opted to join the FBI rather than the force, but I’m a better fit in the FBI.”
Congressman Mandel stole a peek at my pet cop. “And Detective Davis is…?”
“He is my co-lead on the City Center Case and the representative for t
he local police. He became involved when one of his cases connected with the Oakland City Center case. He was assigned as my co-lead to keep the investigation efficient.”
If they wanted to find out we were living together, they’d have to do a lot more digging than that.
“I see.” According to Mandel’s tone, he lied through the tiny gap between his front teeth, but I played the game, ignoring his idiocy despite wanting to rise to the challenge. Toying with politicians ranked right up there with toying with the local police, but unlike the local police, I didn’t like the politicians.
“Were you questioning how a pure could possibly be useful on an investigation, or were you more wondering how someone of my rank within the force could fully contribute as a co-lead on a high-level investigation?” Raymond leaned back in his seat, his body language relaxed and his expression calm.
If he kept being so damned assertive, I’d be scheduling us in for a seduction in the nearest unoccupied and unmonitored room in the building.
“It’s hardly their fault they have forgotten magic is not a replacement for intellect, Detective Davis.” I allowed myself a smile. “In high-level investigations, magic can be a crutch, and having a full range of perspectives is invaluable. Try not to eat them alive. It’s difficult for those who have never participated directly in a serious investigation to understand what’s required.”
I enjoyed watching the two men process my words, and I recognized the moment I made two more enemies. I graced them with my sweetest smile, which only added fuel to the flames.
“Exactly so, Special Agent Abrams. If you would like to experience what it’s like to work on a high-level investigation directly, the Oakland City Case isn’t a wrap yet. We could probably find room for you somewhere.” Raymond looked the politicians over. “What investigative skills do you bring to the table, gentlemen? I understand you’re a fire elementalist of moderate strength, Congressman Mandel. I’m unfamiliar with your abilities, Senator Camden.”