by K. S. Thomas
Sure, my mother’s connections had granted me opportunities early on that most designers only dreamed of. Starting at sixteen I was spending my summers doing internships with all the big names in bridal wear. At eighteen, I even ventured off to France for a bit before coming home to start school at Parson’s.
Once I graduated it seemed stupid not to take my mother up on her offer to set up shop in her shop. I was in need of a job and she had been wanting for some time to add ‘custom bridal dresses’ to her list of services. It was a win/win.
Except on days like today, where it felt like we were all losing.
“I’m not sure how I feel about this neckline. I thought I would like it better this way, but now that I’m seeing it with the full skirt, it just doesn’t look right.” Madison, our bride, was scrunching up her nose like a piglet. Her rosy cheeks and strawberry blonde hair were doing nothing to offset the visual. Nor was it helping that I kind of wanted her to look like a pig at that point. Or a cow. Really, any farm animal would have done the trick.
I watched as she flipped back and forth between the two new sketches, shaking her head and distorting her face in a variety of expressions, one more unsightly than the next while the women sitting to either side of her mimicked her every move.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling like these are for me, you know? I mean, they always say, when you finally find the right dress you just know.” She handed the sketches over across the table where I carelessly slid them back into my folder. I had known they were hideous all along. Pretty sure I had told her they would be when we discussed the changes she wanted me to make.
“Completely understandable, Madison. And that’s absolutely true. Finding your wedding dress is always love at first sight. When you see it, you always know.” I reached down into my bag and pulled out another sketch. It was a ballsy move, but I had nothing to lose at this point.
“I may have one more for you. It’s a design I was saving for my collection. I was actually considering planning the entire line around it, so I probably shouldn’t even show it to you…” The moment I placed it in front of her, Madison’s eyes lit up.
“OMG! This is it. This is my dress,” she squealed loudly, eagerly showing the image to all of her friends.
It was the first sketch I’d ever drawn for her. She had shot it down in two seconds flat two months ago, but now, it was the one.
Once the whole dress debacle was finally over, my mother was able to finalize all of her plans as well. Suddenly, Madison had no problems making any decisions. Everything my mother suggested sounded perfect to her and all she did anymore was nod and smile, all the while never even taking her eyes from the sketch of her dream gown.
In spite of how annoyed I’d been with her these past months, there was no escaping the high that followed anytime a bride fell in love with a dress that I’d created for her. There was something absolutely amazing about knowing that I’d played a part in bringing someone’s childhood fantasy to life. And let’s face it, that’s basically what weddings are. A childhood fantasy. Only unlike the ones we had about jumping off of rooftops and soaring through the air like Superman, we’re actually dumb enough to pursue this one.
In case you hadn’t noticed, I had extremely mixed feelings when it came to marriage. On the one hand, I’d clearly dedicated my life to love and the elusive, possibly imaginary, happily ever after. On the other, I was a jaded, love hating cynic who wasn’t about to fall for any of that crap herself.
“So, what was the unforeseen circumstance today?” My mother was standing in the open doorway to my office, casually sipping what I could only assume was some plain organic tea of one flavor or another. More than likely it was green or chamomile. I made a face just thinking about it.
“Tyler. But not to worry. It won’t happen again.” I reached for my coffee, my second cup of the day. God bless Steph. She’d had it sitting on my desk waiting for me as soon as I walked in after that torturous meeting.
Her curiosity piqued, my mother came all the way in and had a seat on the sofa along the back wall. “And why exactly are you so sure it won’t happen again?”
“Because I broke up with him.” I made sure to sound as casual as possible. As of yet, no unpleasant feelings regarding the sudden break up had surfaced and I was hoping to keep it that way for as long as possible.
My mother just shook her head. “What was it this time, Cal?”
“You were there, you already know. He’s the reason I was late.” If that wasn’t reason enough, I didn’t know what was.
“You, my darling daughter, have commitment issues.” She laughed at me as she stood up and began to leave.
“Oh, this coming from the woman who hasn’t been in a relationship in seven years.” Maybe even longer. As far as I knew, there had been no one since the divorce.
“That’s because I’m perfectly happy being committed to myself.” She smiled that ‘I’m your mother and I know everything’ smile and then walked out.
She was barely out of the room when my phone started blowing up. Tori. She and I’d been friends since first grade. More importantly, Tyler was her boyfriend Kyle’s older brother. She’d set us up herself and had no doubt been planning our double weddings and baby showers ever since. I didn’t have to read a single one of her text messages to know what they were about.
Seven jingles later and I bypassed reading and simply hit call.
“You don’t break off a year-long relationship with someone while they’re standing there completely naked. It’s not fair. It makes the dumpee vulnerable and it’s just bad manners, Cal!”
“First of all, he was not naked he was wearing a towel, and second of all, don’t even get me started on bad manners. I can assure you, when it comes to practicing proper etiquette, Tyler does a sub-par job at best. I have two stains on my hardwood floor the shape of his feet caused by water damage this morning to prove it.” I didn’t know why I was even bothering. I’d never win this one anyway.
“What if he was the one, Cal? What if he was the one and you threw him out because he got your floor wet?” This was ridiculous.
“He wasn’t the one, Tor.” I rolled my eyes knowing she wouldn’t be able to see it and reached for my coffee. It was cold. Between my mother and her, a perfectly innocent cup of heavenly brew had gone to waste. I shook my head in disgust at their recklessness.
Meanwhile, Tori ranted on, “How do you know? How do you know he wasn’t the one? He could have been.”
“No Tor, he couldn’t have been.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because if he had been the one he would have known better than to hog the shower. He wasn’t the one.”
I could hear her grumbling things to herself. I didn’t have to be able to make out the words to get the gist of it. This was hardly my first lecture. For as long as I could remember, Tori had been obsessed with one thing and one thing only – falling in love. From the time we were eleven I had spent every Sunday evening planted on her sofa, watching some ridiculous Hallmark movie or another. Then when we turned thirteen, things got a little more intense as she added boy bands and that guy from the OC to the mix. It’s fairly safe to say, Tori has been boy crazy since before she was old enough to appreciate the benefits of having one.
I, on the other hand, was always a bit more reserved in this area. Maybe because I grew up in a home where love was a convenience and not a passion. Or maybe just because Tori had the whole thing covered already for the both of us. Either way, while she was busy fantasizing about the way Kyle might propose to her one day, the only weddings on my mind were those of my clients.
“Do you still need me on the line for this or can I get back to work?” I had two more meetings to prepare for and I wasn’t remotely ready. I was already going to have to work straight through lunch as it was.
“Why can’t you just be a normal girl for once in your life, Cal? What is so wrong with falling in love and living happily ever after? Do you re
ally want to be alone forever?”
I dropped the stack of files I had pulled from my drawer onto my desk, making a loud clapping sound in the process.
“Who said I was going to be alone forever? I’m twenty-three, Tor. And this is the twenty-first century. It’s fine if you want to get married and settle down. But don’t act like it’s insane for me to be single right now. I’ve got shit to do and I’m not wasting my time on some asshole who’s going to hold me back. Even if it is just by making me late for a meeting.”
I could hear her sigh loudly on the other end. A clear sign of surrender. Except I knew it was only temporary.
“Fine. Go do you.”
“No one else does it better.”
“See you Sunday?”
“Of course.” As I said it, I made a little note reminding me to check the TV listings for this weekend’s movie. Over the years I’d learned that most of them fell into three basic categories – single mom meets troubled stranger and falls in love, work-a-holic/ jaded woman falls for the silent but strong country guy, and last, but certainly not least, the sweet innocent girl meets sweet innocent boy, but due to massive miscommunications and odd misunderstandings, they don’t actually wind up together until three minutes before the movie ends. This category tended to always come equipped with some sweet senior doling out advice to the innocent ones, which somehow made it more bearable than the other two. Those in turn required a great deal more chocolate to endure and I wanted to be prepared.
When I finally got Tori off the phone, I dove right into sketching. Aside from Steph popping in to drop off a veggie and hummus platter from the deli downstairs, I didn’t see or speak to anyone until I was done, at which point I found myself having to make another run for it down the hall as I was showing up late for my second meeting of the day. Stupid Tyler.
“Hey Burke, you wanted to see me?” I was standing in my boss’s office.
“Yeah. How long have you been workin’ here now, you think? Seven, eight years?”
It was nine. “Something like that. What’s up?”
“Emerson, how old do you think I am?”
It was an odd question and I sure as shit didn’t want to answer it. But I did. “Old, Burke. You’re goddamn old.”
He laughed. “Hell yes, I am. So, how much longer you think you’re going to need before you can start takin’ over so I can get some rest?”
I frowned. “You thinkin’ about retirin’?”
“No, I’m not thinkin’ about it. I’m doin’ it. Already talked it over with everyone, and we all agree, there’s no one better than you.” Burke stood up from behind his desk and held out his hand. “You’ve got six months kid. Then it’ll be all you.”
Speechless, I met his hand with mine, and we shook on it. I was six months from having it all.
Chapter 2
With Tyler plucked neatly from my life again, I spent my Saturday in silent solitude only interrupting the quiet every so often to hum to myself as I went about straightening up my room and returning my belongings to their original, and now vacated, places. The truth was, part of me had been looking forward to this moment. Had been counting down the days until the other part of me, the part that enjoyed having Tyler around, finally came to the dark side and sent him packing so that life could go back to normal.
If I was completely honest with myself, knowing that I’d felt that way the entire time scared me ever so slightly. Sure, I was always quick to set Tori straight when she made the argument, but there were times I wondered if she was right. What if I really did end up alone? I liked being on my own, but I hated being lonely.
Come Sunday evening, I was happy to head over to Tori’s, even if it was to spend two hours watching a movie that would likely make me want to stuff my face with chocolate just to keep my endorphins elevated.
“Ooh, what’s in the box?” Tori was already closing the door behind me and hurrying to catch up as I wandered straight down the hall and into her living room.
“Cake samples. My mom’s trying out a new bakery.” I placed the large cake filled carton on the coffee table and plopped down into Tori’s overstuffed sofa. It was ridiculously comfortable.
“God I love your job!” This coming from the girl who spent her days in a recording studio meeting one music icon after the next. Tori’s father had spent the last three decades becoming a well accomplished producer before branching out and starting his own label. And, much like myself, Tori hadn’t strayed far from the family business.
“So, no Kyle tonight?” I glanced around the room rather obviously. It wasn’t exactly official, but Tori’s boyfriend had more or less been living with her for the last six months. The only thing keeping it in its state of limbo were his extremely religious parents. I had met them shortly after Tyler and I had started dating and then had been banned from ever returning two minutes after walking through the door when their German Shepard had run over, diving nose first into my crotch causing me to drop the f-bomb in shock of it all. I mean, seriously. Who wouldn’t feel inclined to have a little verbal outburst after having been molested by a ninety pound dog?!
Anyway, official or not, Kyle was definitely spending the majority of his time at Tori’s. And, judging by the stack of mail I passed on the way in, word was getting out.
“Kyle’s out with Tyler trying to cheer him up.”
“Why? What’s wrong with him? Something happen?”
If Tori’s mouth hadn’t been full of red velvet cake just then, her jaw might have dropped all the way down to her knees. She swallowed hard, forcing down the sticky sweetness. “Yes, something happened! You dumped him, remember?”
Oh, right.
“Come on, he can’t be that upset about it.” Surely he had seen it coming. I mean, I certainly had.
“Yes, he’s upset about it. Look, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this, but just last week he was with Kyle…at Tiffany’s.” She was giving me that look. That, ‘why aren’t you getting what I’m telling you it’s so obvious a five year old would get it’ look.
“Shut the fuck up. Are you telling me Tyler was going to propose?” Talk about dodging a bullet.
“Yes! Why are you taking this so lightly?” Tori’s exasperation was showing in more than just the fact that she had now completely abandoned her cake. She was pacing and looked like she might punch a wall…or strangle me. Considering she was only 5’1 and maybe weighed a hundred pounds, I felt fairly safe even in spite of the murderous rage beginning to glimmer in her icy blue eyes.
“Hey look, our movie’s starting.” I hastily reached for the remote and turned up the volume in hopes that I could force her into silence by simply drowning her out. It worked. Begrudgingly, she came to plop down beside me. She didn’t utter so much as a single word for the next two hours, but resorted to staring daggers into the side of my head during each commercial break. I didn’t care. I’d had seventeen years of experience already.
After two torturous hours of sickeningly sweet romance and way too many samples of cake, I laid sprawled out on the sofa like a beached whale; too full and too depressed to move. It wasn’t like I wanted any of what I’d just seen. It was more like I wanted to want it. I just didn’t. And I hadn’t for a long time. Maybe ever. No, not ever. I had wanted it once. But I had been six, so that probably didn’t count.
“You’re right. Tyler wasn’t the one.” Tori grumbled as she slowly peeled herself up off of the cushions.
“Excuse me?” After all of that she was just going to pull the ol’ switch-a-roo on me?
“Look, if Hallmark has taught us anything, it’s that fate is an unwavering, uncompromising and unstoppable force. If you could toss Tyler from your life on a whim and feel absolutely zero emotional backlash, fate was clearly not a factor.”
See, I knew I’d been right. “Honestly. I expected some to come this time. It just didn’t.” I glanced up at her, “Sad, huh?”
“Not sad.” She shook her head. “Normal. For you anyway.”
&n
bsp; “Oh, that makes me feel loads better. I’m some non-feeling freak incapable of love.”
Tori picked up one of the couch pillows and dropped it on my face. “Don’t be an idiot. You’re capable of love. You love me.”
I tossed the pillow across the room. “Some days.”
She grinned. “Most days.” Then she reached down and grabbed my hands to pull me up. “Come on. No more basking in the glory of your state of utter patheticness.”
“Patheticness is not a word, Tor.” I reluctantly came to my feet.
“Is now. Been used in a sentence twice already.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Then I noticed she was collecting my belongings and bringing me my shoes, which I had flipped off and kicked in two different directions about halfway through the movie. “Wait, are you throwing me out?”
She made a face. “Kyle will be here soon. He’s still kind of pissed about the whole you dumping his brother thing. Just give it a week or two and it won’t be awkward anymore.”
“Tori!” Instinctively I snatched up what remained of the cake. “I’m your best friend!”
“You are my best friend. But he’s my boyfriend, and unlike you, I like having one of those.” She playfully nudged my elbow. “Besides, I know you’ll love me no matter what.”
“Some days,” I grumbled as I slid my feet back into my shoes. Peep toe pumps with three inch heels. They’d seemed like the perfect choice this morning. Now the thought of having to walk even as far as the front door seemed less appealing than walking barefoot over shards of glass.
Clearly seeking out redemption, Tori handed me a pair of flip-flops and smiled. “Most days.”
No longer worried about my bad choice in footwear, walking seemed like a viable option as I stepped outside and felt the chill of the evening air run over me. It wouldn’t be long and the enjoyable evening air would turn hot and humid. Tonight, it was perfection.