by K. S. Thomas
“Ma?”
“Yes?”
“I think I’m in love with Emerson.” It was the first time I’d said the words out loud. Hearing them was even scarier than saying them. But, apparently only for me.
“Yes, I think you are.” She took the picture from me and returned it to the top shelf of her bookcase. Then she came to stand in front of me. “The question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know,” I whined as I threw myself back onto her bed dramatically. “He has all this baggage. All this…stuff! Ex-fiancées, and almost daughters! He’s older than I am and he’s had all of this extra life. Life without me in it.”
My mother came and laid beside me, only she was far more graceful about it. “Cal, you can hardly hold his age against him. It’s not his fault he was born too soon. And this whole mess with him and Shauna, well, I think it says a lot about the kind of man he is.”
“Wait. You knew about him and Shauna?”
“Well, yeah. What, you think I haven’t been keeping tabs on him all this time?”
I shot straight up again. “What? What does that even mean?”
She reached up and pressed my shoulder down until I was even with her again. “Relax. It’s not like he knew about it. But, hell yeah I was keeping tabs on him. What, you think I didn’t know this day would come? I knew sooner or later, life would bring you back out here, bring you two together, and I wanted to know what you would find when it did.”
“Well way to be on top of things! He damn near married somebody else!”
She waved it off dismissively. “He was never going to marry her.”
“How can you say that? They were engaged!”
“But for all the wrong reasons. Trust me. If I know one thing, it’s couples. More importantly, couples who will and won’t make it down the aisle. And Shauna and Emerson were never even close.”
I cocked my left brow at her. “What, you’re like the wedding psychic now?”
“I don’t know why you’re saying it like it’s a new thing.” She was looking at me like she was suppressing a grin. “Go ahead. Ask me.”
“Ask you what?”
“If you and Emerson will make it down the aisle. You know you want to.”
“I absolutely do not.” I rocked myself up and to my feet. I was nearly out the door when I stopped and turned back. “Thank you for telling me all of that. And, I’m really sorry you had your heart broken.”
“Don’t be. My heart mended the day I got you.”
I smiled at her. Suddenly, I felt like I understood her in a whole new way.
The drive home from the party felt like the longest ride of my life. The sudden silence gave me too much time to rehash the night’s events and the conversations that should have happened way before tonight.
It wasn’t easy, but I forced myself to pass the farm and keep on driving even though all I wanted was to go and find Liss. To hold her in my arms and tell her anything and everything she wanted to know and needed to hear to feel safe again with me. Instead, I pulled into my driveway and headed up toward the house. I hadn’t left a single light on. Since I’d planned on making it a late night, I’d left Reesie back at the farm with the other dogs. Only now, her company would have made a world of difference.
I was barely through the front door when my phone rang.
“Yeah?”
“Emerson? Her Tethered Wings is foaling. Think it might be breached. What do you want us to do?”
It was Marcus, a newbie. Burke was likely just headed home from the party himself. Shit.
“Call the vet. I’ll be over as fast as I can.”
In no time flat I was back in my truck and driving up to the house I’d swore I wouldn’t come back to tonight. Thankfully, I had all the reason I needed to veer left for the barn before I ever made it close enough for Liss to hear my truck.
Two hours later and we’d been able to deliver the foal safely. The vet had rolled up just after and was able to check out both horses and assure us that both had made it through the tumultuous delivery without any permanent damage.
Burke had arrived about halfway through, although he hadn’t been much help. Too much booze at the party had rendered him pretty useless. Even now, as the buzz was wearing off, his eyes had that glazed look as he chatted up the vet, thanking him for coming out and saying good bye. He’d be back in the morning anyway to check on one of the colts in training. He’d come up lame the day before.
“Enjoyed the party tonight, didn’t you old man?” I joked as he joined me in the office where I was busy filling out the birth report.
“Sure did. Who knew it would end in a crisis? I take off maybe one night every ten years and this is what happens. Just another reason retirement can’t come soon enough.” He tapped his hip thoughtfully. “You still sure you want the gig, kid?”
“Hell yeah. Shit, Burke, how much did you have to drink tonight?” I shook my head laughing at him.
“Oh, it’s not that. I just thought maybe you were havin’ second thoughts. You know, now that you’ve been spendin’ all this time with Troy’s granddaughter.”
I put the file down and leaned back in the chair. This ought to be interesting. “What does Calista have to do with any of this?”
“So it’s true then? You two are an item?”
“Honestly, right now I don’t even know.” I ran my hands over my face trying to wipe away any trace of my struggles over the situation with Liss and me.
Burke shrugged. “Maybe that’s your out then.”
“What? What out? I don’t want an out, Burke. I’m in love with this girl.”
His face fell. “Are you sure she’s worth it? I mean, I know she’s pretty and doin’ big things with her life back in the city. But are you ready to be a kept man? Live the rest of your life in her shadow?”
Nothing Burke was saying was making any sense. “What the hell are you talking about Burke?”
He tilted his head down, like he was dreading being the bearer of bad news. When he finally looked me in the eye, his expression was grim. “You have to know that old Troy would never go for this. Sure, he thinks the world of you…when it comes to his horses. But don’t think for a second that same high regard will transfer on to his granddaughter. Certainly didn’t with his own daughter.”
He couldn’t be serious. Troy Ashcraft was stubborn and old school in many ways, but this?
“You’re saying I need to choose. Calista…or this job?” The choice was easy. Jobs were a dime a dozen. There was only one of Liss.
“I’m sayin’, losin’ your job will be the least of your worries if you pursue this thing with Calista any further,” he paused. “You never heard about what happened back in the day with Jake Rimmel did you?”
I shook my head. What did our feed supplier have to do with any of this?
“Jake started workin’ for his dad when he was eighteen. He drove a truck for him, makin’ deliveries. Well, wasn’t too long before he caught Sophie’s eye. She was young, beautiful and the wildest spirit Ashcraft Farms has ever seen. Once she set her sights on Jake, that poor boy didn’t have a chance.”
“Sophie. Sophie Luvalle. She’s the wild child in love with the feed guy?”
“You’d never know it to look at her now, would ya? True though, every word. Story didn’t end there either. Both their families had their own reasons for wantin’ those two apart. It was a regular Romeo and Juliet tragedy, it was. Well, finally they both decided they’d had enough of fightin’ with everyone and they hatched a plan to take off. Sneak out in the middle of the night when no one was around to stop them. Only someone did.”
“Troy?”
“Troy. Old man never did miss a thing. He figured out what Sophie was plannin’ and he went straight to Jake. Told him to end things with his daughter immediately. Said she had bigger and better things to do with her life than marry the feed guy. Said if he didn’t do as he was told, Troy’d put Rimmel Feed out of business. He could�
��ve done it, too. Few calls, Rimmel would have lost his biggest accounts. Well, naturally, Jake couldn’t let that happen.”
I stared blankly across the room as my mind played back the last two weeks for me. “He let Sophie go.”
“Sure did. And look at how her life turned out. Think she would have accomplished half as much if she’d have run off with Jake that night? Or, hell, even if they hadn’t run off, if they’d stayed here, with the support of their families?” Burke shook his head. “No way.”
I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. It wasn’t the same. Jake and Sophie were nothing like Liss and I. We weren’t kids. We’d each been on our own career track for years. We were well on our way to finding success. How could Troy possibly have the same objections? Except of course, that no matter which way you spun it, I was the help. She was the heiress. It did sort of put things into an uncomfortable perspective.
“Just think about what I told you, kid. No need to make any decisions tonight. Hell, maybe not making any decisions at all will be best. Weddin’s tomorrow. Let her go home. Back to the city. Won’t be long before the distance sets in and day to day life takes over. With any luck, your time together will fade into nothin’ more than a pleasant memory.”
Burke gave me a nod good night and walked out. Not that there was much night left to be had. There certainly wasn’t anything good about it.
Chapter 13
By the time I finally made it to sleep that night it was already time to get up again. Or, at least it felt that way when the alarm went off. I swear I’d only just closed my eyes a second earlier. Regardless, there was a wedding to put on and we had to make a four hour drive before we could even get started putting the finishing touches on everything before the guests arrived.
Thankfully, Jack, my mother’s minion, had stayed behind at the lake house to keep the preparations in full swing until we got back.
After everything I’d learned the night before, there was now a list of people I didn’t want to get stuck in a car with for four hours, so much so I was prepared to highjack Noonie’s truck and make the drive myself again. Thankfully, it didn’t come to that.
Steph and her P.A. psychic senses had swung by the farm even though Blake had already agreed to give her a ride. I wasted no time in jumping in the passenger seat and squeezing Steph into the middle. Not that I heard her complaining.
We’d been driving along for nearly an hour in complete silence when she apparently decided she’d had enough.
“Anything you want to talk about Cal?”
I shook my head, pushing out my lower lip and doing my best clueless look. “No.”
“Really? Then why did you come running down the stairs, nearly tackling me in the process, to get out to the truck and jump in before I could even say good morning?”
“Um, because I foolishly believed that you had brought me coffee, that’s why. Have you ever seen me run like that for anything else?” While I was on that, where the hell was the coffee?
“Cal.” It was all she said. Like she was my freaking mother or something.
I twisted my mouth back and forth like a five year old who’d been ordered to admit she punched a boy for having cooties. Finally I threw my hands up in the air dramatically and let it all out.
“Holy shit, Steph! You have no idea. I mean, just seriously, NO IDEA! Let’s start with little stuff, shall we? Like how my mother nearly eloped with the feed guy when she was eighteen. Oh yeah. Totally normal behavior for her back then. Uh-huh. And then of course, even though it didn’t work out, she still considers him her one true love – which you know, says a lot about her marriage to my dad, but never mind that – and who could blame her. Even for an old guy, he’s pretty damn hot. And I know that. Because I saw him. Yeah, Jake the feed guy was there. At the party. Last night.” I had to take a brief break from my rant to take a few breaths. I was worried Steph would interrupt me and I would lose my steam, but apparently she was too stunned to say much of anything.
So, I continued, “That was just my mother’s drama. I had plenty of my own. Did you know Emerson was engaged before? I know you did,” I pointed my finger accusingly at Blake, “but did you? No? Yeah, well I did. What I didn’t know was that his ex is one of Savannah’s bridesmaids. Know what else I didn’t know? That she has a daughter. Yeah. Was pregnant when they got together. Emerson practically raised her until they split four years ago. Let’s see, am I forgetting anything? No, no I think that about covers it. Now then, can we all agree I deserve a goddamn cup of coffee?!”
“Starbucks. Now.” Steph was waving her hand and belting out orders, but she never took her eyes off of me. “That…is fucking insane. Seriously. Like, I’ve got nothing else. Just. Wow.”
Meanwhile, Blake stayed uncomfortably silent as he took the next exit in search of coffee.
“What? You think I’m being dramatic or something? Blowing things out of proportion?” I’d had all night to go over everything a million different times with zero outlet for all of the emotions running rampant within me. Blake wasn’t the ideal target for them, but if he was going to side against me, even slightly, he would do the trick.
“Look, I don’t want to get in the middle of whatever is going on between you and Emerson, but -”
“But what?” Now even Steph looked like she was about to pounce on him, and not in a good way.
“Well, you said you knew. I mean, he clearly wasn’t keeping things from you. Maybe he didn’t give you all the details, but if you had a story like that, would you go out of your way to share it?”
I had to close my eyes and take a deep breath. “I’m sorry, what now? How would telling me that his ex-fiancée was one of the bridesmaids have been going out of his way? Hm? I wasn’t asking for a breakdown of their relationship. I didn’t ask for a play by play of their first date, the proposal or the break up. All I wanted was a simple heads up. How is that asking too much?”
Blake was staring out of the driver’s side window, probably wishing he could be on the other side of it. “You don’t understand. A guy like Emerson has a lot of pride. He came from nothing. Not just nothing. He came from shit. His father was a top of the line asshole. Whether that was Emerson’s fault or not, that kind of thing follows you around like a shadow you can’t shake. A constant reminder of who you were predestined to be and desperately want to avoid becoming. He had to work twice as hard to become the kind of man the men he respected would accept and respect in return. And he did that. People look up to him now. They depend on him. Expect him to have the answers.”
He stopped temporarily as he pulled into a parking spot outside of Starbucks and shifted into park. Then, he turned to face me. “In a million years a guy like Emerson would never expect to get a woman like you. And if by some miracle he had the chance, he would go out of his way to be the kind of man he felt was worthy of her. And if he had things in his past that could taint that image, jeopardize his one shot, why would he go out of his way to bring them to the forefront? He wouldn’t. And not for the reasons you think. It wasn’t about keeping secrets from you, Cal.”
“Then what was it about? Explain it to me.” I really, really wanted to understand.
He sighed heavily like he was about to tell me something he wasn’t supposed to. Probably breaking all kinds of Bro Codes by doing so.
“Women are talkers, yes? We can all agree on that? Well, men, are not. And almost all of the most important things you express to us have nothing to do with the things you say. Hold on, I’m not done,” he held up his hand to halt my impending argument. “My point is, men like the way their women look at them. We like to be praised, sure, but what we really like, what we bask in, is the way your eyes seem to stream an endless flow of love and pride, like we’re fucking Superman and can always save the day. Because, ultimately, we all want to be your heroes. Now, I’m no relationship expert, but I’m just guessing you’ve been giving Emerson that ‘you’re my knight in shining armor’ gaze since you got here. And, I
think we can all agree, that logically, that light in your eyes might have dimmed some had he told you all there was to tell. It certainly seems to have been snuffed out altogether right now.”
I turned my head toward Steph to see her reaction to Blake’s big revelation, except her eyes were locked on him already, giving him a mad dose of ‘you’re my hero vision’ right then and there. As a result he had about the dopiest grin on his face I’d ever seen. Damn.
“Blake studied psychology. He’s a high school guidance counselor,” she muttered dreamily.
“Well that explains why he dresses like a redneck, drives a shit truck and plays with power tools. Or not.” My sarcastic mumblings were lost on both of them as they continued to give each other the googly eyes while I went inside for a massive jug of coffee.
The rest of the ride pretty much made me want to gag, or at least gesture gagging the entire time. It was clear that Steph was a goner. I had lost my top rating and been demoted thanks to Blake, the counselor in cowboy wear. I had mixed feelings about that and they were far less strenuous to deliberate than those concerning Emerson, so I happily gave them my undivided attention.
Once at the lake house it was easy to keep distracted. Jack was spewing orders at us left and right, and much to everyone’s shock, including my own, I actually followed them. He could have his moment of glory. Besides, no one back home would ever believe him anyway.
My mother showed up shortly after us, along with the bride and all of her bridesmaids in tow. This was where things got slightly sticky. After all, I had to dress them all. Well, not literally, but I had to oversee the whole shebang and make sure no one suffered from any last minute wardrobe malfunctions. Thankfully, Steph was right there with me, every step of the way. More importantly, she acted as my shield, intercepting Shauna anytime she made her way in my direction.
The wedding itself went off without a hitch. Steph, Jack and I all stood in the back, watching like we were backstage hands at a major theater production, which weddings kind of were. Standing back there, I saw Emerson for the first time since I’d walked away from him the night before. He looked handsome in his black tux. Like, ridiculously handsome.