by A. E. Clarke
“I’m sorry, Doctor. She’s alive now. That’s what matters.” Inside, I was raging at the doctor for brushing it off so easily, but yelling at him wasn’t going to change what had happened to Holly.
“Your sister had been unconscious for less than a minute when the paramedics arrived. Ironically, the cardiac arrest saved her life because she was still able to be revived. That’s why I mentioned that she was as good as a medical miracle.”
“Jesus Christ,” Alex muttered, staring at Holly.
Breaking news: heart attacks save lives!
“She should, hopefully, be waking up within the next couple of hours—ah!” He motioned with his arm. “I might be overestimating…”
I looked over at my sister, lying on the bed and tossing and turning as if she was waking up. “Holly? Holly?!”
Chapter Three: Holly
“Holly?”
I blinked once.
Holy hell, does that hurt.
I rolled over, trying to mumble something along the lines of “gimme five more minutes” and ending up with something closer to “gim fi mo mints.”
“Holly, wake the hell up! Sorry, I…” Jesse’s voice faded into the black as I let myself drift back to sleep for a second—before a sharp hit to the back of my head jolted me awake.
I reached up to smack my brother’s hand away and opened my eyes, trying to blink away the blurriness. I felt like I should remember something important about the night, but really, it was just grey.
“I thought I told you to give me five more minutes, you little—” I stopped abruptly when I saw the sleeve of my hospital gown.
Ow.
Actually, yeah. That sounds like about the right reaction.
“Ow.”
“Yeah.” Jesse was leaning over me, smiling grimly.
“Hi, excuse me, ma’am? Do you know your name?”
I looked over. The light flared across my vision. What the hell happened to me?
I tried to look at the doctor, but it was nearly impossible. My vision was still blurry, and things were swimming in and out of focus. I closed my eyes and covered them with my arm. The closest to this I’d ever felt was when I was really hungover, and even that didn’t really compare.
I don’t think I can ever complain about the morning after ever again.
“I…yeah, Holly Gray.”
“Middle name?”
“Pearl.” I licked my lips, which were really chapped and dry.
“Okay, and who is this?” I cracked open an eye and saw him motion to Jesse—the weird little fauxhawk gave him away, since everyone was still mostly a fuzzy silhouette at this point.
“That’s my brother, Jesse. Jesse Gray.”
“Yeah, okay, good. Middle name?”
“Jordan. No, wait, Jason.”
“Wonderful sister, eh?” Jesse smirked. Okay, I couldn’t see him smirking, but I could hear it in the tone of his voice.
“Shut up,” Alex said from my left.
Oh, good, he’s here too. I massaged my forehead, trying to work out some of what had happened.
“Okay, good, you recognized that I’m a doctor—do you know where you are?”
“I would guess probably North York Gen?”
“Actually, you’re at Humber, but that’s okay. I also would have accepted ‘the hospital.’ Okay, now the big question, for one million completely imaginary dollars—do you know what happened to you?”
“No…I…” I couldn’t tell if he was trying to be funny or was just really strange. I started to push myself up. “Ow! What the—” It felt like I’d been punched or stabbed just below the ribcage.
“What’s the last thing you remember, Holly?”
I reached over to my right side. It was tender beneath the pale-green fabric of the hospital gown.
Well, shit. I don’t think “tender” is a good thing, medically.
“I…I was on the phone with Alex…” I tried to focus on him. The fog in front of my eyes was slowly clearing. “Sorry to worry you, hon, I guess…”
“You idiot.” He was obviously trying not to cry. “Don’t apologize because of this.”
Crap, how bad is it?
Am I dying?
“Okay, I just…I remember going into the ravine. I guess I tripped and fell after all?” I started laughing—so much for him being morbid!—and then stopped. The pain in my side sucked the hilarity from the situation pretty effectively.
“No, you—” Alex started, but the doctor held up a hand to stop him.
“Let’s walk through it, okay? I want to see how closely your memory matches what we already think we know.”
As I told him what I remembered from the ravine, I stayed focused on Alex. He was biting his lip, which was one of my biggest pet peeves because Jesse did it all the time. When he asked what we were talking about, I closed my eyes before continuing, speaking to Alex. “I got to the point where I was talking to you about what Scott said about you and Lily at the party last week, right?”
“Yeah, but I can’t believe that you’d—” Alex stopped mid-sentence and then breathed slowly in and out. “Never mind. Yes, you did.”
Relieved he wasn’t going to yell at me, I went on. “And we talked about that, and then….”
And then it was just the grey. I strained my mind and put my hand on my torso, where the pain was radiating from.
“After that?” the doctor asked.
“After that, I woke up here.”
The corner of Jesse’s mouth twitched up. I had no clue what was going through his head, but then he turned and put his hand over his pocket.
Ah. Cell phone. Of course.
I’d suspected he’d been hiding a girlfriend from me for some reason—leaving to go over to a friend’s house for the night and saying it was his friend on the football team, constantly texting, that sort of thing. I’d been meaning to ask him about it, but I was a little worried why he would feel he needed to keep something like that from me.
I clued back in that the doctor was speaking to me about equipment and resuscitation.
Okay, boring medical stuff. I should be listening to this, it’s about me, and—wait, did he just say resuscitation?
“I died?!”
“Technically. Well, legally, yes.”
“Okay. So I’m not…” I sat up and groaned at the pain in my side. “I’m assuming I’m not dead, right?”
“No, ma’am. I think the Pearly Gates would probably cure surface burns.”
Again with the humour. I would get the doctor with a funny bone.
“Burns?” I blinked. “I remember it…it was raining when I was on the phone. And then…” It felt like the world just kind of lit up for a moment, but that didn’t make any sense.
“And then, Miss Gray, we believe that a transformer exploded.”
Okay, so maybe that did make sense.
“The force of it snapped a wire above you, and the wire fell down, and then here…”
He took a step forward to reach my hospital gown, and I could tell from the reactions how bad it would be. Alex turned right around and stared at the wall for a second—well, there goes any possibility of sex for a while, I guess—and Jesse squinted as if that would protect him from seeing my burn properly.
“…here would be where it hit you.”
I looked down and let out the breath I’d been holding in anticipation, all at once.
Not nearly as bad as I’d expected.
It did look bad, though, especially compared to an ordinary, everyday burn. It was maybe the size of my face and the colour of raw beef, if that raw beef was, for some reason, also shiny.
It wasn’t the black and crispy, dinner-plate-sized burn that I’d envisioned, though, so I guess I got off easy.
“Okay, that could have been a whole hell of a lot worse.”
Jesse nodded, and the doctor looked me in the eyes. “Oh, definitely. Most of the time, when people die, it tends to be, well, fatal.”
I actually lau
ghed aloud at that—that was a nice change. A little painful, though. It actually felt more like a giant bruise with a heat lamp right above it or something other than a nearly fatal burn.
I looked down at the gown now covering the burn, and then back up at the doctor, at my brother, and at my boyfriend, smiling without knowing why.
I have a feeling they’ve loaded me up with painkillers. Everything seems nice.
“So I’m going to be all right, right, Doc?”
“Yep, and with that giant grin on your face, I’d wager that we gave you enough morphine to numb the pain for a while, too. I’ll leave you guys alone, but in about ten to fifteen minutes, I’m going to need to usher you out. The visiting hours are just about done for the night.”
I waved absentmindedly as he left the room.
Okay, this is definitely the painkillers.
#
I woke up after only a few hours’ sleep. I was feeling uneasy but pinned it down to being in the hospital.
As I shuffled back to my bed from the bathroom, I made sure that no one else was awake for me to bug. Jesse had gone home, and Alex had gone back to his parents’ for the night—I had asked him to check in on Jesse, but he avoided it, mumbling something about not needing to.
Oh! I scowled at my bed before climbing in it. Well, aren’t I an idiot. Maybe Jesse’s having that girl over.
The thought almost bowled me over. I did not want my little brother having sex in my house, even without me there! I shook my head and shushed the heart-rate monitor, taking a few deep breaths so that it didn’t start beeping at me.
I do not want to imagine my brother having sex while I’m in the hospital.
I shuddered at the thought, although, to be honest, I wasn’t sure why it repulsed me when I was doing the same thing. It wasn’t like I’d be walking in on them or anything, but the thought itself made my skin crawl, and it was just getting worse the more I thought about it.
I felt the tingling growing stronger along my spine, almost to the point of being painful, and suddenly the machine next to me started beeping, even though my heart wasn’t pounding. I looked over at it, and there were sparks flying between it and my arm. They didn’t hurt, but I yelped in surprise and pulled farther away from the machine as one last spark arced from arm to machine.
The machine made one final loud beep, and then the room was back to normal, and so was I—other than the machine beeping more quickly because my heart rate had finally spiked. I reached back and checked my spine. Everything seemed normal to the touch, and it wasn’t crawling anymore.
Okay, there goes any possibility of sleep. Gingerly, I lay back in the bed.
What the fuck was that all about?
Chapter Four: Jesse
Okay, so this was bad. But it could’ve been worse.
Brent: What’s up?
I smiled at the screen of my cell phone. Brent and I had been texting back and forth since I’d left school, and he was worried about Holly.
But I’d be alone in the house—at least, as far as Holly knew—while she was in the hospital for the night.
I felt a little guilty getting so much good out of her misfortune, but…hey, I wasn’t about to complain. It was rare for us to be able to spend the night together.
I closed the front door behind me and pulled out my phone.
Jesse: Do you want to just come over?
Brent: What time d’you want me there hon?
Jesse: Have you eaten?
Brent: No, not yet. Why, you gonna cook for me?
I decided to call instead of continuing to text.
Brent’s family knew about us, but I hadn’t gotten around to telling Holly yet. She didn’t even know I was gay. I figured that eventually, she’d figure it out—y’know, catch us making out, same as Alex had a couple months ago—and we’d talk, and all would be well in the world.
I hoped.
Until then, though, Brent and I kind of walked on eggshells while she was home. He was just a friend who was over to do homework with me. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever even properly introduced them to each other, avoiding it most of the time so that I didn’t accidentally out myself.
“Hello?”
“Hey, babe.”
“So I hear I have a sexy personal chef tonight.”
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but grin. “Well, I figure that we have the place to ourselves, which is pretty awesome, and we both need to eat, so…”
“…so this way maximizes the time we have together. Gotcha.”
“Your parents are letting you have the car tonight, I take it?” I shrugged my coat off and grabbed a hanger from the closet.
“Actually, no, but Dad’ll drop me off. He says hi, by the way.”
“Hi back. I’m thinking pasta with a chicken breast for dinner tonight. Sound good?”
“Sounds fine to me,” he said.
“I can have it ready in twenty or so, I’d think…hmm, hold on a second…” I opened the freezer to peer inside.
“What?”
“Can you bring me over some green beans? I mean, I’m sure you’ve got some.”
“You don’t like them, though.” He sounded completely confused, and my heart skipped a beat.
Every little thing about him made me sigh happily—we were still in the “honeymoon” phase, I guess. Even knowing that was all it was, I still went out of my way to make those moments happen. I mean, what was wrong with making myself smile a little?
“Yeah, but you do, so I’ll suffer through the horrible green punishment for you.”
“I don’t know where the hell I managed to find you.”
“Yeah, you do. School. Now get your ass over here so we can eat.”
“How romantic! Give me half an hour, and I’ll be on your doorstep, bearing a vegetable you despise.”
“How romantic.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too, babe. See you soon.” I hung up and tossed my phone onto the couch then shrugged and threw myself over the arm of the couch to lie down. I had at least a few minutes to kill waiting for him to show up. I could put off starting the pasta.
#
The doorbell chimed a half hour later, barely audible above my music.
I walked to the door, unlocked and opened it; Brent had already opened the screen door and leaned in to kiss me.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hey.”
“How’re you doing?”
“I’ve been better, I guess. Pasta should be just about ready,” I said, angling myself so that he could get past me and we could get inside to food and warmth. It was cold out, and it’d been warm the week before, so single-digit Celsius did not feel liveable right now.
“Yeah, well, that’s really not why I came over here this early,” Brent said, leaning in for another kiss and pulling me in to his chest.
Oh, lord, do I need this after the day I just had. “Thank you.”
Brent didn’t say anything back to that, just kind of hummed in agreement and continued hugging me, resting his chin on my shoulder.
We stood there for a few minutes until I heard the oven’s timer. I knew it would keep beeping at me until I turned it off.
“Ah, hell.” I disentangled myself from his arms and moved towards the kitchen to start serving up the basic dinner. “I’ll probably have everything put together on plates before you’re ready in the dining room.”
“Jess.”
I turned around and yelped as he leaned in for another quick peck to the cheek. I smacked him on the shoulder. “Ass.”
He snickered and turned towards the front door. I shook my head and took the chicken out of the oven.
I was almost right. By the time he’d gotten his shoes and jacket off and washed his hands, I had everything put together except the sauce on the pasta.
And—shit, the green beans!
“Did you bring the dreaded vegetables of doom?”
“The green beans?”
“Yeah, those
ones.”
“Nope.”
“I didn’t think you would. Love you.”
He just laughed. “How could I bring you something that you hated for dinner when you’ve had such an awful day?” Ignoring his food, he pulled me into his arms again, touching foreheads.
Our hands were around each other’s waists, and I used the opportunity to grab at his ass. He softly kissed me on the nose and sighed.
Not exactly the reaction I was looking for.
“I know you said Holly’s okay, but…are you sure you’re okay?”
I smiled, if maybe a little weakly. “I…” I sighed. “Yes and no. I’ve been better, and I’m still sort of in shock. I mean, Holly technically died today, and I’m having trouble kind of…fitting that into the schema of ‘what makes sense in the world,’ if you know what I mean.”
“Schema. Nice. Way to pay attention in psych last week.”
“Making it make sense, then. Happy?”
“Nerd.”
“Jock.”
“Oooh, the burn!”
“Can’t help that I’m hot, babe.”
He just laughed at that and leaned in for a much, much more satisfying kiss.
I pulled back before it could get out of hand and grabbed the two plates of dinner. “Okay, let’s get ourselves fed first, before this gets too cold.” I looked behind me to see him turn off the burner—oops!—and then look in the fridge.
“What should I grab us for a drink?”
“I don’t think Holly would argue with us having a glass of wine with dinner, do you?”
“Well, I don’t really know her, but sure.”
I winced a little bit at the annoyance in his voice. Once we were both seated, I said, “Hon, you know I don’t hide you from her on purpose.”
“You don’t tell her about me, either.”
I scowled at my food, twirling a few strands of spaghetti around my fork to mull that over. It was true, and I couldn’t find a way to wiggle out of it.
“I don’t see what the big deal is. Just tell her that we’re together—”
“Drop it, okay?” I rubbed my leg up and down his and smiled. It was taking all of my inner reserves of strength not to show how annoyed I was getting at his pushing. “It’s fine, I’m not mad. Just…it’s fine, okay?”