by Swan, T L
He clenches his jaw, unimpressed, as his eyes hold mine.
“There are two people in this relationship, Jay, and me loving you does not mean you get to take me over.”
“I know that,” he snaps. “So you do love me now? Make up your mind, woman.”
“Stop changing the subject. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
“Yes, Emily.” He sighs as if he’s getting lectured by the school principal.
“I just don’t know why you’ve had this sudden change of heart.” I shrug. “It’s peculiar.”
“My heart hasn’t changed at all. My situation has.”
“What does that mean?” I frown.
He exhales heavily. “I went and saw Claudia in London.”
Oh no, his ex. I’m not supposed to know that. I had better play dumb. “Who’s Claudia?”
“My ex.”
I frown as I try my hardest to hold my tongue. Act calm, act calm.
“I broke it off with her.”
My eyes widen in horror. “What the hell?” I snap. “You were still with her?”
“No, but we had promised each other that we wouldn’t date anyone else seriously.”
I begin to break into a cold sweat as I try to hold it together. “Why?”
“Because we planned on getting back together in a few years.”
I knew it; I knew it back then that something was off. Damn it, why didn’t I see the writing on the wall? I pick up my wineglass and drain it as I stare at him. Jeez, this is news. Bad news.
“I told her I have strong feelings for you.”
“You did?” I frown as a tiny piece of hope blooms in my chest.
He smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “I did.”
“What else did you say?” I ask calmly. I want to blurt out a million questions about the two of them.
“That it was over between us.”
“Did you love her?”
“Yes.” He pauses for a moment as if contemplating that statement. “In my own way, I did. In hindsight, I realize that our relationship was never normal. Not like ours is anyway.”
I stare at him, lost for words. Grateful that he’s finally being honest and yet terrified that their union was so strong that it withstood an open relationship. There’s no way in hell I could ever do that. “You think our relationship is normal?” I ask.
He smiles and leans in and kisses me softly. “Don’t you?”
“No. To me our relationship is exciting and wonderful and exotic.” I stare at him. “Normal gets boring very quick, Jameson.”
“I told her that I want to build a future with you.”
Okay, that sounds a bit better. I smirk as I try to hold in a smile.
“I also told her that I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met and that you are the only woman I want to be with from here on in.”
A broad, goofy smile does break through this time. “Did you tell her I had motorized sneakers?” I whisper.
He chuckles, and his eyes twinkle with something special as he cups my face in his hand. “I did.”
“What does this mean, Jay?” My eyes search his. “For us.”
“It means that I’m all yours.” He shrugs. “If you want me.”
What? All mine?
I blink . . . in shock. “Have you been holding yourself back from me all this time?”
“I have, and I can’t do it any longer.”
“What does this mean . . . for us?”
“It means I want you to move in, and we go full steam ahead from here.”
“What’s the rush?” I frown. “Can’t we ease into it?”
He leans in and kisses me softly; his big blue eyes hold mine. “I don’t do things in halves, Emily.”
“Meaning?” I whisper.
“Meaning that my woman is my world.”
I stare at him as the air leaves my lungs.
“I work hard . . . but I love harder.”
My heartbeat sounds through my ears. Is this really happening?
“I’m in love with you, Emily Foster.” He leans in and kisses me slowly. His tongue swipes through my open lips with such emotion that I get a lump in my throat. “I can’t help it. I tried to stop it, and I couldn’t. I think I’ve loved you since our first night together in Boston. You stayed with me. I fought it, and still, I couldn’t forget you. I’ve been carrying your scarf around like a lovesick fool for more than a year.”
I stare at him.
“So please forgive me if I want to go full steam ahead. This is not a snap decision. It’s been coming for a long time, and now that I’m in a position to act on it, I don’t want to waste any more time. I want you with me. By my side.”
I stare at him while my brain catches up. What the . . . ?
Holy shit.
He picks up his knife and fork. “Now I’m going to eat his beautiful dinner that you’ve made for me, and then I’m going to take you to bed and make you forget everything that I said to you about not falling for me, and then, hopefully, you can show me that you have some kind of resemblance of feelings for me too.”
I smile as my heart swells.
“Okay?” he asks before he takes a mouthful of food.
“Okay.” I sip my wine with a shaky hand. I look down at my dinner and smirk.
Mushroom sauce . . . my new love potion.
Abracadabra.
Jameson Miles just blew my fucking mind.
I roll over and put my hand out, and I frown. Jameson isn’t in bed beside me. I glance over at the clock: 3:33 a.m. Where is he?
I get out of bed and walk down the hall in search of my man. The kitchen light is on.
Hmm, but no Jay.
I walk down to the other end of the apartment and see the light coming from his office, and I tiptoe up the hall.
Jameson is sitting at his desk; his thumbnail rubs back and forth over his bottom lip as he stares at the computer screen as it lights up the room.
I stand silently at the door as I watch him. He’s frowning, deep in concentration.
What’s waking him up in the middle of the night? What’s he worried about?
For five minutes, I watch him in silence. I can feel the worry oozing out of him. Finally, I can take it no more. “Hey,” I whisper.
He glances up, startled. “Hello, sweetheart.” He smiles softly.
I walk over and look over his shoulder at the screen. It displays a graph with a red line that gradually declines.
Stock Value: Miles Media.
Shit.
I climb onto his lap and kiss his lips softly. “You can’t sleep?”
He runs his hand down my naked back. “I’m fine.”
But he’s not fine—his company’s value is plummeting. How many millions did his family lose today? “Any news?” I whisper as I stare at the graph in front of me.
“On?”
“The case?”
He shakes his head. His jaw ticks in anger as his eyes go back to the graph.
He’s like a raging ball of anxiety; I can almost feel his pain. I need to make him forget this for the moment. I kiss his neck, and he smiles as I softly nip down to his collarbone.
I drop to the floor between his legs, and he looks down at me as he runs his hand through my hair. Emotion runs between us, electricity I can’t explain.
“I missed you when you were away,” I whisper as I slowly slide his boxers off.
He smiles softly as I kiss his dick. It flexes in approval. “I missed my man,” I whisper as I take him in my mouth. “My body missed you.” I need to make him forget where he is, who he is. This stress has to leave. Now I want to be that spontaneous woman he met twelve months ago, the one who blew his mind.
He inhales sharply and spreads his legs, granting me access.
Our eyes are locked as I suck on the most private part of his body, the one that nobody gets to see. He’s thick and hard, and I can see every vein on his engorged length. I lick up his length and then fl
ick my tongue over his end, and I can almost hear the arousal as it runs through his body like a river rapid.
“Fuck my mouth,” I whisper as I watch him.
His eyes darken.
“Take my hair in your hands, and fuck my mouth,” I murmur around him.
His eyes dance with fire, and he grabs my hair in both hands and surges forward.
I’m blessed with a burst of preejaculate, and I close my eyes and moan.
He begins to slide his cock deep down my throat, and I hum around him. What must I look like, on my hands and knees, naked, under my boyfriend’s desk? My own arousal takes shape, and I spread my legs, and he moans as he begins to really pump. I take him in my hand, and my fist follows my mouth as I begin to work him hard.
He needs it hard.
I can see every muscle contract in his stomach as he clenches, and I push his legs open farther and take his balls in my hand.
“Fuck,” he moans.
“Come,” I whisper. “Blow. I want to drink you down.”
His eyes roll back in his head, and he really lets me have it.
I smile around him. I love it when I bring him undone like this. It’s like I hover up in the air and watch with a special detachment.
An audience of one—the best porn on the planet.
His stomach contracts, and I smile as he shoots down my throat. I concentrate on not gagging. It’s hard with a cock this big, but when he opens his eyes, they’re blazing . . . and all my fears are laid to rest.
This is what I love. I love loving Jameson with the unbridled passion that he brings out in me. I’ve never been this woman before, but with him . . . it’s natural. As if he was the missing link in my sexuality. We’ve already had sex once earlier tonight, and that time was intimate and loving. Nothing like this, but just as important.
I keep working him, emptying his beautiful body until he drags me up to him and spreads me over his lap.
His lips take mine, and he moans as he tastes himself in my mouth.
I pull back to look at him, the air between us electric, and our eyes lock.
“I love you,” I whisper.
He smiles, and then his lips crash to mine. Our kiss is desperate, and he stands and carries me down the hall back to bed as I cling to him.
Our attachment is deep.
So deep.
For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m home.
I sit and watch Hayden walk across the street toward the café we are in. He’s carrying a briefcase. Why would he need his briefcase on his lunch break? This guy is suspicious as all hell.
“How long have you known Hayden, Moll?” I ask her.
Aaron sips his drink through his straw as he listens and watches Hayden.
The three of us are at our favorite lunch spot and sitting at the bench by the window.
She gives me a lopsided twist of her lips. “About eight years, I think.”
“Aaron said that you used to work with him at your old job.”
“Yeah.” She chews her toasted sandwich as she watches him. “He worked at the Gazette with me.”
My attention goes back to watching him. “You know, I think he’s up to something.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me.” She wipes her mouth with her napkin.
“Why do you say that?” I ask.
“He was fired from the Gazette.”
“What for?” Aaron frowns.
“I don’t know for certain, but the word on the street was that he was involved in a phone-tap scandal.”
“What?”
“Apparently.” She rolls her eyes. “And this is complete speculation, but he was caught tapping one of his coworkers’ phones and stealing her leads.”
My eyes widen. “Really? Who?”
“A girl named Keeley May.”
“Oh yes, the redhead,” remarks Aaron. “She’s fucking hot.”
Molly’s and my eyes go to him. “Since when do you think girls are hot?” Molly asks.
“I’m gay, not blind. I can appreciate a fine female form,” he huffs.
We both roll our eyes.
“Why do you think he’s up to something?” Molly asks.
God, can I tell them? No . . . I have to run it past Tristan first. I can’t break their trust in me. “I told him one of my stories the other day, and I saw that he submitted it as his own,” I lie.
Molly narrows her eyes. “Fucking snake.”
“I have no proof, of course,” I add. “I was just wondering about his character, that’s all.”
“From what I know of him,” she says dryly, “I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him.”
“Like Paul,” Aaron sneers.
“Oh God, what happened now?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He sighs. “He’s just an asshole, that’s all.”
Molly rolls her eyes in disgust. “You know what, Aaron, stop playing the fucking victim here. You know he’s sleeping around, and you’re still sleeping with him. It’s one thing to be deceived, but to willingly go back for more when you know exactly what is going on is just plain pathetic.”
He rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”
“Yeah, I do. You’re acting like a damsel in distress. You don’t have kids with him. You don’t have a mortgage. You don’t work with him. The break would be easy. Tell him to fuck off and move on,” she scoffs. “Breakups are hard. Staying with an asshole is harder.”
“Speaking of moving on—Jameson asked me to move in with him,” I say to change the subject.
Aaron snorts his drink, and it goes up his nose. “What the hell?”
“Apparently.” I shrug.
Aaron frowns. “What’s with the turnabout?”
“He went and saw Claudia, his ex, while he was in London.”
“Did he fuck her?” Aaron asks as he chews his straw.
“No, Aaron, fucking other people isn’t normal behavior,” Molly snaps. “Get that through your thick head. Your view on reality is seriously distorted.”
“Fuck, you’re a real bitch today, you know that?” Aaron snaps.
“Well, that communal dick of your boyfriend’s is pissing me off,” she scoffs.
Aaron and I roll our eyes. Molly is especially testy today.
“He said that he and Claudia had planned on getting back together, but he told her he wanted a future with me. He ended it.”
“Holy shit,” Aaron whispers.
“He told me he loves me.”
“What the fuck?” Molly cries. “Are you serious?”
“But . . .” I shrug.
“But what?” Aaron whispers. “There should be no buts anywhere in this story.”
“It’s all so fast. What’s the rush, you know?” I shrug. “I’m scared he’s just stressed.”
They both continue to listen.
“He told me that he’s had feelings since we first met, and it’s been coming for a long time.”
“That could be true.” Molly frowns.
“It could be.” I sip my coffee. “It could also be in his takeover strategy.”
“What takeover strategy?” Molly frowns.
“Jameson Miles gets what he wants,” I reply. “If he’s decided he wants me—”
“Which he has,” Aaron interrupts.
“He will make it happen. I don’t know.” I shrug. “It just all seems too good to be true, and the whole Claudia situation has freaked me out a little. Can I really believe that Claudia and he will just break off all communication now?”
Molly rolls her eyes. “Here we go. Have you two idiots been sniffing ink cartridges today?” She screws up her napkin with force. “Stop being a fucking negative bitch. If he didn’t tell you he loved you, that would have been a problem. Now that he has, he has an ulterior motive.” She throws her hands up in disgust. “Will you two come back to Earth?” She gets up. “We have to get back.” She storms out, and Aaron and I watch her cross the street.
“She needs a goo
d deep dicking,” Aaron mutters. “She’s in full bitch mode.”
I giggle as I watch her walk into the building. “You could be right.”
I stare at my reflection in the mirror and exhale heavily. I turn and check my behind. I’m wearing a gold Chanel dress that Jameson picked off the rack yesterday. My long dark hair is set into large curls and pinned behind one ear, and my makeup is glamorous with glossy red lips.
I’m nervous as all hell. This is the first time I’ve ever been anywhere formal with him as his date . . . and of course, his whole family is going to be there to witness it.
Could be a complete disaster.
Just don’t spill anything on your dress or drink too much champagne and be embarrassing, I remind myself.
God, I couldn’t cope.
The worst thing is, because I’m so nervous, I want to power drink.
“Are you nearly ready, my fuck bunny?” Jameson calls. He appears around the door and gives me a slow, sexy smile as his eyes drop down the length of my body. “Jesus, you look beautiful.”
I brush my hands nervously over my thighs. “Is this okay?”
“Perfect.” He takes me in his arms and kisses my cheek. “I don’t like those red lips, though.”
“Oh.” My face falls.
“I can’t kiss you without wearing the evidence.”
I smile as he holds me. Something has changed between us again today.
Another day, another dynamic.
I feel so close to him. Something about all that honesty yesterday tore down my defenses against him. Molly is completely right, and I am looking for the negative in this, but I can’t help it; I fear my heart may be in dire danger.
If he leaves me . . . how would I cope?
I’ve been hurt before, and although I know that Jameson is in a completely different league than my past relationships, the prospect is terrifying.
This one will hurt . . . deeply.
He’s wearing a black tuxedo and a bow tie; his eyes are a brilliant blue, and his dark hair frames his beautiful face.
I’ve never had a man terrify me the way that Jameson Miles does. He’s everything I never knew I needed.
He takes my hand in his. “Do you have everything?”
“Uh-huh.” I put my hand over my heart to try to will it to slow down.
“What’s wrong?” he says softly.