Tossing my clothes onto the floor, I washed my face and crashed into the bed. I’d shower in the morning. Rolling onto my back, I knew as tired as I was, my cock was going to keep me wide-awake. It was awake; I was awake.
Long, slow strokes felt the best in the beginning as I thought about Abby and what it was like when we were together. Those memories had started to fade in my mind and that irritated me. What aggravated me more was that Ren’s face kept flashing through my mind. Those honey eyes. That unbelievable smile. That pouty bottom lip. I couldn’t believe I touched her fucking lip. My pace quickened. My hand frantically searched for an end to her presence in my thoughts. I didn’t want her there. Yet with every stroke, I saw her standing in the pool house, dripping wet…on top of the horse… sipping from the moonshine bottle…her lips, her pouty lips, those honey coated eyes…
“Fuck,” I grinded out as I finished on my stomach. I laid there, allowing my breath and heart rate to return to normal.
Keyona had kissed me, and never once had she intruded on my thoughts. In 24-hours, Ren not only invaded them but seemed to take up residence in my head. I didn’t understand this infatuation. She was Briscoe’s daughter. Off limits was an understatement. Maybe that was her motive. She knew coming after me would be make her father lose his shit. Playing with the convict. Princess Bird crossing the tracks to the dark side. Well, fuck that.
_______________
Up for breakfast earlier than normal and slightly hungover, I quietly crept into the kitchen, grabbed a banana and left a note for Keyona and Mr. Briscoe that I was heading out early. That way Ren could be nowhere on my agenda for the day. Pure avoidance mode seemed the best course of action.
We hauled hay most of the day, delivering bales to different places around the ranch. I’d only taken off my shirt a handful of times while working at the ranch and bucking bales was not the time to do it. The last day I’d done that, my chest and abs were destroyed with scratches.
“Saw you and the girl sneaking in last night.”
Caught off guard, I spun around, eye balling Preston.
“You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. I wasn’t sneakin’ anywhere.”
He spit a big wad of tobacco out near my feet. This was always his go-to tough guy response. Then from his back pocket, he retrieved the pack of chew and refilled.
“Be careful, young’un.”
“I don’t know what you’re fuckin thinkin’, but don’t,” I boldly said and then walked around to the other side of the truck. There was no way in hell I’d tolerate his bullshit. Not today.
So much for my Ren-free day. She was back in my thoughts again thanks to Preston and his dumbass remark. It would have been nice to know that Cal’s daughter was going to show up at the ranch, to know how long she was staying. Maybe it was a summer thing. It was Ren season, or so it appeared. I just needed to know how long this season would last.
_______________
Three nights before the birthday party, I sat in my shorts, in the dark, back in my recliner, enjoying the cool air. The patio lights flared to life, interrupting my solitude. In the skimpiest of bikinis, Ren tiptoed out and settled in a lounger. Jesus. I contemplated going to my bedroom. I didn’t. She must have spent the last three days in the sun by the pool because her sun-kissed skin seemed flawless, especially next to the bright pink swimsuit.
Ren never looked in the direction of the pool house, and I didn’t want to admit, I was a little hung up on that. Then, the back door opened, and a tall guy came out. Decked out in Sperry shoes with no socks, he shuffled over to where she sat. I knew tons of shithead kids like that back home. His khaki shorts and shirt were something right out of a catholic school, mandatory wardrobe catalog. I couldn’t recall if it was one of the same guys from the other night.
Bending at the waist, he leaned down searching for a kiss, but she turned her cheek to him. Rejected. A slight smile touched my lips. I wondered if this was yarn-ring boy. I was beginning to feel a little guilty for being a voyeur watching through the glass, when she turned and made direct eye contact with me. Impossible as it was because the pool house was completely dark, somehow, she knew I was there. Still playing her games, I see.
She bent her legs, offering up the bottom of her chair. Once he sat, he reached for her hands. I wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed until she removed her hands from his. Immediately, he reached for her again, but then she stood and moved out of his reach. I chuckled. Still sitting, his head fell forward. Defeat, sucker. They were clearly fighting. He stared down at the ground while she stood about five feet away from him, once again casting a glance in my direction. What a little game player. Noted.
The poor guy stood to seemingly plead his case. His palms turned up as he walked to her. Ren’s arms crossed across her small chest—she had this pouting thing down to an art. I chuckled out loud this time all alone in my chair. That’s when he reached out and grabbed her upper arm. The second she winced, something inside of me snapped. It took only a matter of seconds to step out onto the patio. Both sets of eyes shot toward me. I didn’t say a word, only glared a fucking death stare at the guy, who released her arm immediately.
Thoughts of the judge’s last words haunted me. No more fights. None. I back stepped to my quarters and closed the door. Trying to escape the adrenaline that now coursed through me, I dropped to the floor and counted out fifty push-ups before I allowed myself to stop. The brewing feeling of violence still festered inside, so I flipped over and knocked out fifty crunches before there was a light tap on the door.
Chapter 11
Just say no
Ren
JOSS OPENED THE door, with sweat trickling down his forehead. A light sheen of sweat glistened across his chest and abs; and I couldn’t help but allow my eyes to dance over his magnificent body. For a moment, I forgot why I had knocked on his door.
“Thank you. He’s never really gotten upset with me like that.”
Joss shrugged. “I was just dozing and happened to wake up long enough to see that ass grab you. No biggie.”
“Well, I thank you.”
“No problem. Hope all is ok.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to have this conversation. Evan and I had been planning to swim, but then he didn’t even bring his suit. Here I stood in a bikini, looking ridiculous in front of Joss. Of course, Joss was barely dressed too, and his body was one huge delicious bunch of muscle. It was seriously hard to get past that. I stood there, staring at him like an idiot, trying to decide if this was a bad idea. I didn’t owe him an explanation, so why did I want to give him one?
“I told you I was going to turn eighteen soon?”
“Yes.”
“I told Evan that maybe we could go all the way when I turned 18, but the closer that gets, the harder it is to fall back on the purity ring thing,” I whispered waving my stupid, yarned ring finger.
Joss shook his head and walked away from me.
“What?” I asked, following him so closely that when he whirled around, I rammed into him. Our skin slapped as I almost lost my balance. I nervously chuckled.
“What is so god damned hard about just saying no?” he asked angrily, but still steadying me by holding onto my elbow.
“I have said no.”
“No. You’ve blamed it on a piece of yarn.”
I thought about his words. They weren’t altogether true. Why did he have to always attack me?
“That was easier, I guess. Saying no isn’t always easy.”
Suddenly, his perfect brown eyes darkened to a near black as he stepped closer to me. Instinctively, I took a step back. He met my step back with another step forward. We did this maneuver a few times like pawns on a chessboard, countering each other until he had me in check. The beat of my heart bordered on erratic. My back pressed against the glass window. Joss towered over me, but when he bent down, and his nose nudged my ear, my spine rattled up and down my back. A flurry of goose bumps crawled over my skin. Our proximity
left little oxygen in the room. I could barely inhale as one of his hands rested on the window behind me. His other hand skated over my shoulder around to the back of my swimsuit, untying the bottom tie of my bikini top. The material fell free but didn’t expose my breasts. The cold air whizzed past them, bringing them to life. I closed my eyes briefly having never felt these feelings of my body coming to life, as well.
I arched my neck back, wondering if he would kiss me. Every inch of my skin screamed at him to be touched. His scruffy beard scratched over my forehead leaving a soft burn. My lips parted as small breaths panted between us. This was so unexpected. I couldn’t think clearly. I didn’t think Joss even liked me as a friend let alone this…
Joss’s fingertips slipped down my side to the tie on my bikini. The beat of my heart stuttered for a minute before finding a frantic rhythm. Brutally slow, the bikini tie on my bottoms was untied. God, how embarrassing. Seven months with Evan and I had to find any excuse not to have sex with him. Five days of Joss, and I was ready for him to lay me down. Even though I knew we should stop, the words didn’t even touch my tongue. My tongue swiped over my wanting lips before I swallowed a heaping of need and desire.
As he dragged his nose down my neck, my knees buckled. The strength of his arm captured me, so I wouldn’t fall. My body fell against him. Zero reservations. I’d give myself to him if that is what he wanted.
“What are you doing?” he asked, softly into my shoulder.
My eyes opened fully, and I stared at him. “What do you mean?” I whispered.
His brows pulled together as he stepped back. “Is it really that difficult for you to say no?”
“What?” My lower jaw fell open. He wanted me to say no? Licking my lips, I reached down to retie my bottoms. My hands trembled out of anger. Or rejection. I don’t know what. “This was a joke?”
“Not a joke, Ren. A lesson. I was trying to help you say no.”
Rearing up on my tiptoes, I said, “I don’t need your help.” Blood crept into my cheeks, humiliated that he didn’t really want any part of me.
“Clearly, you do. You still didn’t say it.”
Attempting to tie the bikini top, I shuffled to the door.
“Ren,” he whispered, and though I was super pissed, hearing my name roll off of his lips made me stop.
“What?” I barked.
“I wasn’t trying to upset you. I was trying to get you to say no. So, it would be easy to tell what’s-his-name no.”
Whirling around, I couldn’t escape the one damn tear that gravity seemed to pull out of the corner of my eye. “With him, it’s easy. With you, it’s not. I wouldn’t have told you no.”
I didn’t slam the door. I wasn’t even sure if it closed behind me. I just wanted to get out of there. My entire body hummed like I had never felt before. Aching. Wanting. Joss’s acting session had done a number on me. And even though he said he didn’t want me, his tented shorts told me his body felt otherwise.
Chapter 12
Wrong Direction
Joss
THE NEXT DAY, I buried myself in the stable to get Juliet taken care of first, in case Ren came out for a ride. Seeing the tears rolling down her cheeks hadn’t sat well with me. It wasn’t my intention to hurt her. I’d made her cry. She was just so damn naïve. I cracked my knuckles with more force than necessary. Why was she unable to just say no? She needed to learn to say it, and not just to Evan.
Sweat formed across my brow just thinking about the way my body had responded to our closeness. Her intoxicating smell hit me like a tornado whirling around destroying my world. I never intended for things to go as far as they did. I kept assuming she was going to stop me. For God’s sake…her smell tormented me. A mix between sunshine, strawberry and mint teased me. As I nuzzled her neck, I lost all focus. I could get lost in that sweet smell. I did get lost.
For twelve straight hours after Ren left, I begged Abby for forgiveness. In my head, I knew this whole situation was ridiculous. I’d allowed Keyona to kiss me, but Ren was different because I wanted to touch her back. Every inch of her. Make her body come alive. Make her mine. I shook off the picture forming in my head. This is never going to happen, you idiot. Not only was she my warden’s daughter but she was also Mr. Briscoe’s daughter—both making her off limits.
Abby had been the sweetest, kindest, most gentle girl. Ren had a fire inside of her that scared me. A risk taker, a challenge. The challenge was on me—to stay strong. To stay away.
The night of Ren’s party, I walked through the dry field to Sal’s place looking for some company. Something to do. Plus, I had no idea where this tavern was. His patio was occupied with him and three other ranch hands passing the moonshine around. I chuckled at the nightly ritual. They weren’t talking but the crickets sang a tune in the distance. Sal stood when he saw me coming and offered me his chair.
I shook my head. “No. I can’t stay. Just out for a walk.”
One of the guys lifted the jar to me. I swirled the liquid before putting the glass to my lips. The alcohol scorched my throat as I swallowed several times and literally burned my empty stomach when the liquor hit. When I released a fiery breath, the guys laughed.
“I figured you’d be at that party with Ren,” Sal added.
“I don’t even know where that tavern is.”
Sal turned, pointing behind him. “Straight north. Only open during the summer while she’s here. Or during her breaks and visits.”
“How’s that work?”
Sal glanced down at his boots. “There’s some history there. History. But it gives her a place to get together with friends within his control.”
“She’s only 18. She gets to drink?” The thought of her drinking ping ponged back and forth in my head. I didn’t like any of the possibilities.
Sal shrugged. “Like I said, there’s history. It’s his bar. His bartender. The sheriff doesn’t touch his property.”
It was clear Sal knew his boundaries, knew the history, but loved Ren.
I nodded, taking another hit from the Mason jar. I sat in Sal’s chair as the alcohol began to swim through my veins. I’d drank plenty of liquor in my life. Hell, Jack and Jim were my father’s two best friends. But never had it hit me as fast as this homemade shit. Thirty minutes later, I excused myself, heading for the horse stables. Even with a buzz, I rationalized not going to the party, why it wasn’t a good idea. Even as I hopped on Juliet, I tried to talk myself out of heading due north. Even as I strolled into the little tavern, where Tear in my Beer echoed out through the open door, and Ren’s eyes landed on me, I had a feeling in my gut that tonight might not end well.
Chapter 13
Spoken truths…
Ren
“HOLY SHIT. LOOK at that delectable creature,” Liz said, popping her gum, and our entire circle spun around.
My mouth fell open when I saw Joss standing in the doorway in his ripped jeans and work boots. He’d come. The happy dance my heart did inside my chest made me feel giddy. Joss and I shared a long, heavy stare before he glanced away then strode up to the bar.
“Is that the guy from the other night?” Evan scooted up next to me.
“Yeah.” Anger still lurked inside from Joss’s “lesson” the other day. Seeing him literally swagger into my birthday party melted the irritation away.
Evan was so different than Joss. Evan’s pressed khakis and long-sleeved dress shirt were handsome, sophisticated. Joss’s ripped jeans and t-shirt were, well, sexy as hell. Frat party vs. rugged man. I so wanted the rugged man.
From behind the bar, Jack glanced over at me before approaching Joss. I nodded. My dad’s forty-year-old bartender knew who he could serve and who he couldn’t. Illegal would probably be the best word to describe what was going on here. But after Reece, Daddy took no chances. After I came home drunk one night when I was sixteen, he turned the old barn into the tavern. Only open during my visitation time. And drinking available only to those who were staying the night, arrived on h
orseback or had arranged for rides. There were only 7 in our party tonight, but a lot of ranch hands came over for entertainment during the summer.
An imaginary line across the bar separated Joss and me. I wanted to cross it. To venture into the unknown. To talk to him. But he drank from a tumbler, eyes riveted on a TV in front of him. Not even a happy birthday to me.
In the restroom, I checked my face, freshened up my lip-gloss and ran my fingers through my hair. Dressed in my white, off-the-shoulder blouse, I was hopeful he’d like it. As I steadied my breathing, I wasn’t sure when Joss became my central focus, but I knew that he had. Focus was a positive way to put it…obsessed was more accurate.
When I stepped out of the restroom, his tall, muscular frame lingered over the jukebox. The iridescent light of the jukebox lit his face as if the spotlight was completely on him. Honestly, it seemed to be. His jeans fit every single part of his lower half perfectly. Though my fuzzy brain told me not to, I slowly stepped toward him.
“Hey,” I said as Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire started playing. “Nice song.”
“Yeah. Well, love is a burning thing or so they say.”
I laughed at his reference to the song. “It burns, burns, burns.”
A slight smile touched his lips. As quick as that the smile faded.
“I’m glad you found the place.”
“Well, bird, Daddy sets you up pretty nice. Not sure how he gets by with illegal drinking, but cheers.” He said sarcastically, lifting his tumbler.
“Bird? And, please don’t be mean, not tonight.”
I’d avoided looking directly at him, fearful of his hypnotizing gaze. Our eyes connected like magnets. His flitted from my eyes to my mouth and back to my eyes; his tongue moistened his lips before he looked away. I closed my eyes picturing those same lips whispering my name.
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