“Thank you,” she says again, and this time has a harder time controlling her emotions. I go outside to check on the horses first. Luckily, they were out in the pasture and not in their stalls, and have access to grass, water, and shade. I top off their water trough and give each horse a scoop of grain before heading out to the store.
Quinn calls as I turn onto the road.
“How’s Danielle?” she asks.
“Really sad. She just fell asleep, and I’m leaving to get cat food for her grandpa’s cats.”
“That’s all you need?”
“Yeah. They’re out.”
“Come here. I’m only a few miles away and have more than enough. I can give you enough to last a few days.”
“Thanks. That saves me a trip into town.”
“I’ll see you in a bit then. The front door is unlocked. I just put Emma down for a nap so come on in.”
I end the call and drive to Quinn’s, going in through the front door and silently closing it behind me. I find Quinn in the kitchen.
“Are you making a bomb?” I ask, looking at the computer parts and wires on the table.
Quinn arches an eyebrow. “Yes, Logan. I’m making a bomb.” She shakes her head. She flips something over. “I’m making a robot.”
“For fun?”
“Yeah. Why else do you build robots?”
“You are such a nerd.”
She narrows her eyes. “You won’t be calling me a nerd when this bad boy wins the robot fight.”
“Just hearing you say robot fight makes you an even bigger nerd.”
She puts down a pair of pliers and gets up, going into her pantry to get the cat food. “I feel so bad for Danielle.”
“Me too. It was the last thing we expected. One minute we’re dancing and drinking at the reception, and the next, Weston is calling.”
“How was the wedding and pretending you two were engaged?” Quinn puts several cans of cat food into a cloth grocery bag and hands it to me.
“It was fun, actually. And everyone bought our fake engagement.”
“Really?”
“You sound surprised.”
Quinn wrinkles her nose and picks up one of her million cats, bringing it out of the pantry so she can close the door. “I am. I didn’t think you’d be able to pull it off. I mean…didn’t people wonder when you weren’t being all affectionate?” She puts her hand on her stomach and makes a face.
“You okay, sis?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“You look like you’re going to puke.”
She holds up her hand. “There’s a good chance I might.”
“Are you pregnant again?”
She pulls her lips over her teeth and nods. “I just found out yesterday. Only Archer knows. We were going to tell everyone tonight, but we’ll wait a few days until after the funeral and everything.”
“You’re serious?”
“Yeah. Emma is going to be a big sister.”
I smile and give Quinn a one-armed hug. “Congrats!”
“Thanks. I feel like this is the worst timing to tell you, but you did ask. Anyway…tell me about Hawaii.” She goes to the fridge and gets out a sparkling water. “How did you convince everyone you were really engaged?”
“It wasn’t hard.”
Quinn raises an eyebrow. “Really? You’re not the best actor.”
“I didn’t have to act.”
Quinn narrows her eyes, studying me. Out of all my siblings, Quinn and I are the most alike. Other than the year when I referred to her only as “Nadine the Butt Doctor” when we were kids, we’ve—for the most part—gotten along.
“Did Danielle?”
“At first, but then…”
“Oh my God! You guys finally hooked up?”
“Finally?”
Quinn gives me a look. “Everyone knows you’ve been crushing on Danielle since the day you met her. Does Scarlet know? We were so hoping this would happen!”
I shake my head. “You both need a hobby.”
“It’ll be Owen next since you and Danielle are finally together.”
“That’s charity, not a hobby. And Danielle and I…I don’t know.”
“Wait. You hooked up but aren’t together?” Quinn sits at the large island counter.
“We never had a chance to talk about it. We didn’t leave much time for talking.”
“Gross.”
“I don’t want her to think what happened was just a hookup,” I say, feeling really fucking grateful for my sister right now. It used to be me giving her relationship advice and not the other way around. But Quinn is smart, and now she’s married with a kid and another on the way. If I were to take anyone’s advice, it would be hers.
“You love her, don’t you?” she says gently.
“Yeah. I do.”
“Then tell her.”
Chapter 27
Danielle
I open my eyes and roll over. I don’t know what time it is. Or what day it is. All I know is Logan is in bed next to me, and his slow and steady breathing is the only thing keeping me from falling apart. Everything happened so fast.
We got to the hospital. Grandpa seemed like he was going to pull through. And then he was gone.
I slowly get out of bed, needing to use the bathroom. Logan hasn’t even gone home yet since he got back to Eastwood. Everything was so perfect before, and I would give anything to go back to our last night in Hawaii.
After using the bathroom, I go downstairs, following the sound of the TV. Mom is in the living room, drinking wine and watching a baking show. It’s almost four in the morning.
“Mom?”
“Oh, Danielle, honey. You’re up.”
“So are you. Did you get any sleep?”
“A bit here and there.”
I cross my arms over my chest, chilled even though it’s warm in the house. Usually, we’d turn the air conditioning up before going to bed. I hate waking up all sweaty.
But at least I get to wake up.
“Want some company?”
“Yeah, that would be nice.” Mom sets her glass of wine down and pats the couch next to her. Orange Cat is curled up on her lap. “Dad is on a plane right now, and Diana and Peter will be here on Tuesday for the memorial service. You know it was your grandpa’s wish not to have a traditional funeral, right?”
I nod. “Yeah, he mentioned it a few times. Said they were a waste of money and he just wants his ashes scattered in the field where Grandma’s are.”
“It’s fitting.” Mom’s eyes get watery. Both her parents are gone now, and that has to feel so sad and so strange.
I sit on the couch next to Mom. “I made a bunch of Grandma’s pies a few weeks ago.”
“How’d they turn out?”
“Logan liked them. The apple was better than the peach, but I used canned peaches instead of fresh like the recipe said to.”
“Grandma always used fresh everything. She was one of the healthiest eaters I knew, and that was back before clean eating was a fad.”
I smile, looking from the TV to the framed photos of Grandma and Grandpa on the wall. “I wish I could have met her.”
“She would have loved you. And been so proud, just like Grandpa was. And he was so, so proud of you, Danielle.”
My throat gets all tight as I try not to cry. “I’m really going to miss him.”
“I know.” Mom puts her arm around me. “I know. But it’ll get easier.”
I nod because that’s what I’m supposed to do. Tell myself that it gets easier. Remind myself that Grandpa lived a long, good life.
Say it was his time. That he’s with God now. Reunited with Grandma.
But it doesn’t make it any easier.
* * *
“Hey.” Logan steps into the kitchen, looking at the mess all over the counter. “I woke up and you weren’t in bed anymore.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I look out into the living room at Mom, who fell asleep on the couch. I
t’s going on nine-thirty AM now. “And I couldn’t sit still.”
Logan comes over to the counter, sliding one hand over my back. “My mom bakes when she’s upset too. She says it keeps her busy, and cupcakes make everyone happy.”
I smile, wiping flour off my hands. “I’m nowhere near as good at decorating cakes as your mom is.”
“I don’t care how they look as long as they taste good.”
“Agreed.”
Logan pushes my hair out of my face. “How are you doing?”
“I think…I think I’m okay.”
“It’s okay not to be okay right now,” he says gently.
“I know.” My eyes fill with tears again, and I wrap my arms around Logan. My chest tightens and a strangled sob escaped my lips. He holds me tight, standing there for as long as I need him to. When I’m able to breathe normally again, I straighten up and look into Logan’s eyes. “I’m tired,” I confess.
“Go upstairs and lie down. I’ll clean up.”
“I don’t want to make you—”
“You’re not. I’m offering.”
My throat feels tight again and I nod, knowing if I open my mouth to talk there’s a good chance I’m going to start crying. I go upstairs and get back into bed. Usually, I lie awake thinking about everything that upsets me, worries me, or makes me anxious.
But right now, I feel nothing.
And I don’t know if the numbness is worse or better than the bad feelings.
Eventually, I fall asleep. Mom wakes me up a few hours later, saying Dad is here and brought pizza. Logan stays and eats with us, and then goes back to his place to change and shower. I miss him as soon as he’s gone.
Everything happened so fast with Grandpa…and also with Logan.
We went to Hawaii as friends. And we left as…I don’t know. We’re not just friends anymore. I feel more for him than I’ve ever felt for anyone. I’m not in the mental space to start worrying about changing my relationship status on social media, and I don’t think Logan and I need a label like that anyway.
Because he’s still my best friend…who’s now my boyfriend.
I think.
We slept together multiple times and holy hell, it was good. I want to do it again…just when I’m not so sad.
After showering and changing into sleeper shorts and an oversized t-shirt, I go downstairs and find my parents at the dining room table. Dad is going over Grandpa’s finances. The farm has been paid off for years, and while Grandpa didn’t have much, he had just enough saved up to live off of while still caring for his animals.
“Hey, honey,” Mom says, looking up from the papers. Dad closes a folder as soon as I step into the room. “Did you get some rest?”
I shake my head. “I did shower, though. I’m going to go check on the horses. Their stalls need to be cleaned, I’m sure. Guess I’ll be taking another shower.” I look around the house, knowing it’s going to be so weird and so quiet once my parents leave in a few days.
The thought of being here without grandpa makes my heart ache all over again.
“Do you remember Sandra Harris?” Dad asks as he stacks the papers.
“From your work? Yeah.”
“She’s pregnant and is due any day now. She plans to take twelve weeks off and then come back.”
“Why are you telling me this?” A weird hollow feeling starts to rise inside me. I know exactly why Dad is telling me this, and that’s not what’s causing the feeling. What’s causing the feeling is that in the back of my mind, running away from the farm seems like it would be easy.
I wouldn’t have to be alone in this house, being reminded over and over that Grandpa is gone. People wouldn’t look at me with pity and give me sad smiles while asking how I’m holding up.
It’s my thing to do when the going gets tough. Run away as fast as I can, giving myself a head start before my problems catch up with me.
But the thing is…they always do.
And this time…this time leaving would hurt even more than staying.
Chapter 28
Logan
“How’s Danielle doing?” Owen asks, moving an empty casserole dish from the counter to the sink. We’re at her house, and the service for her grandpa just ended. A few people are still at the house, sharing stories and memories. Her grandpa was respected by the town, and we are all feeling his loss. I think half the town turned up today, bringing flowers and food and giving their condolences. That’s the thing with small towns. When you know most everyone, you care for most everyone.
“She’s trying to keep it together.” I open the fridge, trying to find a place to put the bowl of taco salad someone brought. It won’t fit, and I’m pretty sure the extra fridge in the basement is full already too.
The last few days passed in a blur. Danielle cried, slept, and drank a lot, and then when the rest of her family came into town, the time was spent reflecting on her grandpa’s life and looking through scrapbooks. Now everything is over, and people are leaving.
Stacking the bowl of taco salad on top of another casserole, I go down into the basement to try and make things fit. It takes a bit of rearranging, but I get the two dishes put in. Danielle is on the back porch, and I’m about to go out with her when I see her father sitting on a chair next to her.
The windows are open, letting in the warm breeze.
“Have you thought more about my offer?” I hear her father say, making me pause. “We could really use someone with your business savvy.”
“I…I don’t know,” Danielle tells him, and my heart falls to the floor. “It would just be temporary?”
“Yes, unless you decide to stay. There is a chance Sandra won’t want to come back. She says she plans on it now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she stayed home for the next year.”
Danielle lets out a breath and wipes her eyes. “I don’t know,” she repeats. “The house is going to feel so empty after everyone leaves.”
I tear myself away, not wanting to eavesdrop anymore. If leaving is what Danielle needs to do…fuck. I don’t know.
“You okay?” Owen asks when I come back onto the kitchen. “I mean, besides the obvious. You seem…you seem different.”
“I’m tired,” I tell him, which is true. I’ve never been able to lie to Owen. It feels wrong, and he’s just able to sense the truth, much like I can with him.
“Take Danielle upstairs, rock her world again, and then pass out.”
“I don’t think she’s in the mood for that.”
Owen knows we got together but hasn’t pressed me to take things further because of everything else that happened. It’s not the right time to sit down and talk about relationships. Danielle is dealing with enough. I’ve waited for her this long, giving her the time she needs.
Wanting her to stay…telling her that it will kill me if she leaves…it feels selfish.
* * *
“Thanks.” Danielle takes the cup of coffee from me as I sit on the steps of the front porch next to her. Everyone has left, including her parents and sister. The sun set not long ago, and it’s just the two of us here at the house.
She takes a sip of coffee and sets the cup on the porch next to her and rests her head on my shoulder. I slip my arm around her waist, and Danielle twists, pressing her forehead against mine. Tears well in her eyes, spilling down when I kiss her.
Desperation hits us both at the same time, and the moment our lips connect, Danielle moves closer, straddling me right here on the porch. She’s wearing a black dress, and I pull it up to her waist. Spreading her legs, she rocks her hips over mine and then brings her hands down to undo my pants. She scrambles to remove my pants, and I slip my hand under her dress, pulling her panties down. I stroke her clit before she climbs back on, guiding my cock to her core.
She slowly lowers herself onto me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I put my lips to her neck, kissing and sucking at her skin as she rocks herself up and down. Pressing herself down, she arches her back, digging her f
ingers into my flesh. A car drives down the road, and we both freeze.
The house is set back and it’s dark out. But the porch lights are on, and the front yard is flat and mowed.
“Should we go inside?” Danielle asks, moving her pelvis in a slow circle that feels so fucking amazing.
“Yeah,” I grunt, not wanting to stop. Danielle and I break apart and stand, but only make it a few steps before we fall back together again. I grab her around the waist and spin her around so her ass is pressed against my cock. She grips the porch railing, bending over so I can enter her.
Reaching around, I work her clit as I thrust in and out of her tight pussy. She tosses her head back, moaning as she comes. The second her pussy contracts around my cock, I come as well, moving my hand from between her legs to her stomach.
It’s the first time we’ve had sex since Hawaii, and while everything came on fast, borne out of desperation of needing to be close, it didn’t disappoint. There will never be another woman in this world who turns me on as much as Danielle.
I kiss her neck and pull out, shuffling back and trying not to trip over my pants which are around my ankles.
“Next time we’ll go on the back porch,” I say as Danielle spins around in my arms.
“I like the sound of that plan.”
I kiss her forehead, and we go inside with the intention of showering together, but then Danielle remembers she has to bring the horses in from the pasture and feed all the other animals.
She changes into leggings and a t-shirt, and I go out with her.
“I took care of the horses a lot,” she says, sliding the big barn door open. “I like them. But it suddenly feels like Grandpa did everything.”
I put my arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head as we walk. “He did a lot.”
“It’s overwhelming,” she admits. “I don’t know how I’m going to take care of everything on my own.”
“You won’t have to on your own. I’ll help. Hell, we can even get Owen over here cleaning stalls.”
Danielle smiles up at me, eyes watery again. “Thanks. I’ll figure out a routine eventually. Though I guess this means I’m going to have to start getting up early. I am not a morning person.”
Cheap Trick: A Dawson Family Novel Page 19