“Know this, Diana, I am determined not to walk away again until I solve this mystery between us,” he muttered with a stricken frown.
“There is no mystery here. You left,” she muttered bitterly.
He swallowed and nodded. “I know what you say is true even if I don’t remember it. It has to be. I hurt as well, far more than is natural, and it breaks my heart, shattering into numerous fragments that I can’t heal. I swear, though, I shall never leave you again. In the end, if I still can’t remember, then I will watch and see what made me bond with you. It bothers me more than I like that I can’t remember you. Only after I am informed will I come to you, and we will make a decision between the two of us.”
“And if my decision is no?” she asked in a hard voice.
He raised his eyes to her, the pearly depths streaking with hints of color from his grief. “Then it will be my duty and privilege to show what kind of mate I can be and change your mind. If the gods—and you—allow,” he whispered hoarsely.
Pushing up from the table, he stalked toward the door as Diana followed behind, her expression set in a hard, unforgiving scowl. She leaned forward and grabbed the door handle, pulling open the door. The white landscape greeted him on the other side. She tilted her head toward it, and he inclined his head in understanding. He was not welcome there. Not yet. Walking forward, he glanced at her over his shoulder in passing, his voice low as he spoke.
“For what it’s worth, I know what happened wasn’t your fault,” he said.
She stiffened, her lips parting, but she said nothing as he swept out the door.
Chapter 42
Diana didn’t know what to make of Silvas. Despite her anger, the words he spoke were so earnest that for a moment it had been like she was there again upon the mountain and he was promising never to let her go. It weakened her, and she had reacted with fear, wanting to demand that he go away and leave her alone. She couldn’t make herself so vulnerable to him again.
Even knowing that Cacus was hiding somewhere beneath the ground, the days slipped by pleasantly with their quiet daily routines. Diana knew the peace was a fleeting interlude. She could feel in the air that their stolen time together was trickling away. Cacus wouldn’t remain hidden forever, and when spring returned, she felt a consuming fear that the taint would spread further through the forest. They were on borrowed time. If the monster only slept for the winter, she would have to make the most of it.
In the meantime, she took a reluctant pleasure in Silvas shadowing her throughout the day. From the time the sun rose every morning, he was there, crouched in the tree in her yard, patiently waiting for her to wake up.
She didn’t lie to herself. It annoyed her at first, seeing him lurking in her tree the moment she opened her door to see to her daily responsibilities. The moment she stepped outside, he eased himself along the limbs like a panther before easily hopping the distance to the ground. Even with her most angry glower, he followed after her whenever she made her way outdoors. Whether she was tending to the chickens that cost many trade credits that summer or heading into the forest to hunt small game, he shadowed her at a distance. When she went back inside, he bounded into the tree and settled to watch over her cabin. Such was the way their days passed.
Yet most evenings while she sat alone in her cabin with nothing but her thoughts for company, she would hear his voice singing a lulling song of ancient times, when humanity was young and the expanses of the wild were great. It was a song of ancient trees and falling water and the quiet of eternity. It spoke to her soul, and she would pause whatever she was doing to listen to him sing. Most nights, she went to sleep with his song in her ears, soothing the nightmares she suffered from the terrible things she had seen that plagued her when everything was too silent and the comfort of their bond absent.
Before she knew it a week passed, and then another, until finally, as she stopped at her front door, her arms laden with firewood, she truly looked at him. He stared down at her patiently, his tail lightly lashing from where he crouched in the tree, his expression flat and unconcerned, and yet his eyes glowing with a familiar longing that she had thought she would never see in those pearly depths again. She cleared her throat, frowned, and gestured to the door.
“Why don’t you come inside for a while. There are plenty of hours left in the day.” She flushed a bit at how awkward she felt as he stared silently back. “I can make dinner and…”
He smiled and hopped down. “You do not need to talk me into it, Diana. I am pleased to come inside and spend some time with you.”
“Just until sundown,” she added, and his smile widened.
“Of course, until then,” he agreed.
They ate and spent a quiet evening together. They found a shared enjoyment of playing dice, and she taught him a few card games and amusing things she had learned over the years. In turn, he taught her simple games he claimed to see shepherds play when they wandered too near his forests in his youth. His presence broke the unending silence of her days, and every evening he slipped outside again to keep watch over her during the night from his tree.
After that day, every morning her walk was cleared of snow and her hens fed before she rose. All accomplished just after sunrise. It made her sick knowing how little rest he required, and that fact only amused him when she admitted it. It was only a small comfort finding out that, as time went on and her body adjusted to its new state, she would require less sleep. She began to hate how quickly the night came, but was almost grateful for that sleep for speeding past the hours until she could open the door and see him again.
The morning that she woke to find herself actually smiling and humming to herself as she got ready for the day, her tail lashing with excitement, she froze in shock. It felt so alien after feeling like she was barely existing for so long. Even in the Eternal Forest, with all the insanity that seemed to dog them, she never felt like she had a chance to stop and be happy.
Unbidden, fear raised so suddenly in her that she had to grip the edge of the counter to keep herself steady. What if he abandoned her again? The last time she had thought things were well and she had a new possible future stretching out before her, he had pushed her out and abandoned her. Her stomach twisted and her hands shook hard enough that she dropped her hairbrush in the sink. Blinking her tears back, she stared at her reflection in the mirror.
How would she survive it if it happened again?
Dropping her head, she panted, tears welling up in her eyes to drip into the sink. She was terrified of losing that happiness. That he would change his mind and take it all away again. It would break her. Round and round doubt whispered through her, reminding her of how much it hurt when she was cast out alone after finding something to which she could possibly belong. Even though she had made no decisions and had felt an obligation to return home, it had felt good to be needed and wanted… To matter to someone, and to feel the first kernels of the blooming of something more. And he had thrown her away—not wanted her—discarded her—left her. Her breath heaved in and out of her lungs as she screwed her eyes tightly against the wave of terror.
The loud screech of claws biting into porcelain startled her out of the cycling terror. Staring down at the black claws tipping her fingers, she paused, her breath releasing in a long sigh. Slowly, excruciatingly slow, her heart rate dropped back down to normal as she stared at those claws. They reminded her that she was not helpless. That she would go on. She let out a small chuckle. If he tried to toy with her again and abandon her, she was now in a position where she could make him feel the consequences of his actions. She was no longer a human to be toyed with and set aside, and he wouldn’t forget it.
Turning her eyes back to the mirror, she truly looked at herself. Not a quick peek at a body that no longer seemed hers. This was her, and it spoke of the powerful being she had become. Her fur was growing darker, white dots appearing like stars in a darkening sky. Her tail was already fully black in color. A hand stroked through her lon
g locks of hair, allowing the fading length to fall through her fingertips. Brushing her fingers back from her ears, she touched the soft, fur tufted, feline ears that now jutted out through her hair. Her ear twitched beneath her finger, the sensation tickling both her ear and hand as she smothered her laughter. Her eyes shifted from blue to green, sometimes caught between the colors, as she stared at herself, reveling in the happiness that bloomed within.
She hurried through her morning routine, her smile widening. Today they were going hunting. A thrill skated through her with barely restrained excitement. Hunting was quickly growing to be their special time together. Although they were silent as they strode through the forest, they hunted side by side, their shared excitement for the hunt rushing through them.
Grabbing her bow, she ran outside, a wide smile spread over her face.
“Good morning,” she greeted him cheerfully as she plucked her bowstring.
She knew that he didn’t rely on such things. She watched him leap onto prey and bring it down quickly, bleeding it out on the snow. Perhaps someday she would get to the point of being confident in her claws, been until then she liked the distance and comfort of the bow in her hand.
“Blessed morning, beautiful one,” he returned as he grinned down at her, his eyes sparkling in the early light of the morning.
Silvas dropped from the tree with a happy purr. He seemed to purr quite often these days, and she loved it. She didn’t examine the thought too carefully as they struck out through the snow. Lifting her tail in a delicate arc so that it didn’t drag, she paced easily, her breath puffing in the air as he loped at her side.
She glanced over at him, noticing the way his eyes continuously took in everything. Aside from watching out for any possible threat and signs of game, she figured he probably never ceased in plotting how best to defend the territory from intruders. He seemed to do that a lot.
Just last night she had caught him studying a map that marked where the rivers ran through her forest and near her cabin, muttering to himself about what the boundaries of his territory were for him to defend. It was something he did very well and got an obvious pleasure from carrying out. Protection, he had said to her many times, was part of his purpose. She didn’t wonder that he got a thrill from it. Last she heard, he had chased off not only some more guys from town, but also scared the shit out of people who attempted to enter into her wood to take game.
Silvas took exception to that. Since she took little and made her sacrifice clean and respectful, the animals still lingered in her part of the woods where those that survived the sickness all but disappeared from others. They openly submitted and offered themselves to her. As far as he was concerned, those humans who hunted in their territory were stealing from what he had deemed as her sacred wood, and thus were offending him.
Diana drew in a deep breath of air. Spring would be coming soon. Already the sun felt a bit warmer as the lengthening days were making headway into melting the snow, and there was a distinctive smell of wet earth and water permeating the air. A loud crack from the trees up ahead sent a flash of anxiety through her, and immediately she stilled. Barely had a startled breath escaped her lips when Silvas stepped in front of her. He noticeably bristled, his tail lashing angrily through the air away from his body.
“Show yourself,” he demanded, a low growl echoing through his words.
The threat in his voice was thinly veiled, and his glowing eyes were fixed on the direction from which the sound came, yet he was surprisingly calm without a trace of true hostility. That he was wary but unconcerned had an immediate effect on her. The tension fled from her body, though she still watched this space warily as she felt a familiar presence move toward them.
“Larce,” she called out in surprise, noticing the way Silvas’s head snapped toward her, a frown pulling at his lips, likely due to the familiar way that she uttered the male’s name. But how could she not be? Once she had met the silvanus, she recognized him as the presence that had lurked around the woods near the cabin. “It is not nice to sneak up on people, you about gave me a heart attack,” she admonished.
A deep male chuckle followed as the silvanus she had seen before stepped out from the trees. His twisted horns had an ancient appearance, and he was distinctive with his peculiar tail that separated into three narrow tips halfway down its length. His eyes darted to her warmly, but it was upon Silvas that his gaze locked. Larce tracked the lucomo’s movements as he approached. He raised his hands in supplication, an amused smile curving his hard lips.
“Peace, apa. I intend no harm toward your uxorem.”
The male laughed as if such a concept were absurd. Her lips quirked because she couldn’t imagine either the male actually doing harm. Fuck with her if she didn’t observe the proper rules when in the woods, sure… but not harm.
Still… apa?
Diana stared between the males, trying to discern their relationship. Although Silvas seemed tense, there was no hostility between them. The silvanus’s lips tipped upward as Silvas lashed his tail irritably.
Silvas shook his head in confusion. “Larce? I thought I recognized your scent, but this doesn’t make any sense. What are you doing in such a new forest? I would have assumed that you would be lurking in your ancient haunts with your uxorem.”
The male shrugged. “Cassia consented to come here for a time as a special favor to Turan. You know that the goddess has a way of garnering what she desires. She deemed it important that someone look out for the soul meant to be yours. It is not the first time we have relocated to watch over your uxorem. Whenever we are made known of her soul once more walking upon the earth, we followed, dwelling near her and watching over her during the course of her lifetime. I watched as she grew up, and when the forest expanded, I increased my territory holdings so no other spirit would interfere. You are welcome,” he said loftily, his smile playful.
Silvas grunted in reply, but he relaxed, and his lips curved in amusement. They stared at each other for a moment before both males moved in and embraced. They chuckled and pounded each other on the back in a show of affection. Silvas reached his hands up to frame the other male’s face and drew him down to kiss his cheeks and forehead.
Diana’s eyebrows went up and she stared openly at them.
“I’m sorry, but I’m totally lost here,” she interrupted. “You seem to know each other… What’s an apa?”
Silvas’s smile suddenly became strained and his ears tipped back. He cleared his throat and fixed her with a grave look. “Diana, as you know, I am very old… I have probably lifetimes worth of events, to be honest…”
“Apa means father,” Larce interrupted, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “Ah, you didn’t tell her that you had bred offspring.” He chuckled at the disgusted look Silvas bent on him.
“I had meant to broach the subject… eventually… in a tactful way,” he said.
Diana relaxed and laughed. “Oh, is that it? I already knew about that, though it was something I meant to ask about.” She tapped a finger on her chin. “What was it that the horrible dryad said? Oh yes, I was told that you fucked and discarded humans after you had bred sons on them.”
Silvas gaped at her. “I certainly did not! I was a lusty youth and may have dallied with human women as well as denizens of my woods. I certainly didn’t intend to ‘breed young’ on them. It was a surprise when the first of them, Larce’s mother, abandoned him in my woods, and he was brought to me to rear.”
Diana raised an eyebrow. “And how often did this happen? From what I’ve heard, there are quite a few silvani out there.”
“Only a few! I have four sons that I brought forth.”
“Cassia and I have bred three thousand, two hundred and eighty sons,” Larce announced proudly. As Diana turned a horrified look upon him, he grinned. “It has been a great number of centuries. There was no need from the Eternal Forest and the cosmos for us to have offspring that frequently… but time has a way of adding up,” he said, laughing. “Unl
ike some, I check in with my young from time to time.”
Silvas gave him a disgusted look. “Do not act like I do not check in on you and your brothers. I have spent much time over the centuries wandering between your territories and visiting with your families. I have held more infant silvani than I ever expected to.”
Diana held back a sound of mirth as the males snorted at each other.
“Well, excellent then. You will come visit my domus and bring your uxorem to meet Cassia.”
Silvas gave her a pinched look and she knew what he was thinking even without the bond. He didn’t want to admit to his son that he didn’t remember his mate or the events that occurred between them. Unfortunately, neither of them knew if he would ever gain his memories. They just needed to take one day at a time and see what the future had in store.
Setting a calming hand on Silvas’s bicep, she smiled over at Larce. “That is lovely, thank you.”
Beaming, Larce led them through the winding trees, past the altar, into a thick copse that opened into another portal that opened into a small pocket in a hidden grove. They stepped through it, and a familiar energy surged through her. They were back. Although it was a very small pocket of space, surrounded thickly by trees, they were back in the Eternal Forest.
Chapter 43
Diana was shocked when she entered the beautiful domus. Though simple on the outside, the inside was lush with beautiful fabrics, collections of antiques, and carefully polished antiquities displayed everywhere as one would beloved knickknacks. They were so casually displayed, a wealth of human history in one room, that it was awe inspiring, but also made her afraid to get too close to anything out of fear of breaking something. What surprised her the most, however, was the human woman who greeted them with a pleased expression. She kissed Silvas on both cheeks before she enthusiastically welcome Diana.
Forest of Spirits Page 28