“I dated a bad girl once. It didn’t end well. I’ve avoided making that mistake twice.” I divulge my own past.
We sat in silence. Where did we go from here? How did we start to build a bridge between the gap that makes up who we are today and how we got here?
“Is that why you only date virgins?” Her face lit up like she had discovered my deepest darkest secret.
“That’s not entirely accurate.” I gave her an exaggerated eye roll to let her know I wasn’t offended by her outburst. “I don’t go out in search of a virgin sacrifice.”
She tilted her head, looking confused.
Was that the reputation I had cultivated? It was long past due to put that to an end. “I avoid women with little or no morals. Loyalty is a big deal for me. I won’t date someone whose sole purpose for being with me is to sleep with every other member of the band.” I let her absorb my words.
“Let me see if I understand this. You find a good woman, and when she shows signs of straying, you cut her loose?” The puzzled look on her face had me smirking.
“No, that’s not it either.” By this point, I sat up against the headboard as she had, to bring us at an equal level. “The women I had dated were inexperienced sexually. That doesn’t necessarily mean I was out trolling for virgins.” That made her snicker.
“I enjoy being dominant in the bedroom, so I gravitate towards a more submissive type of woman. I enjoy teaching them what I like. How to please a man. And yes, when they show signs of wanting more, I cut them loose.” God, that sounded a lot worse now that I said it out loud.
“Have you ever been in love?” she cautiously asked.
If I had any chance of having a real relationship with Crystal, now was going to be the time to lay it all out on the table.
“Yes, the bad girl. She was my first love. She was my first everything.” I shrugged and wagged my eyebrows. “If you know what I mean?”
She knew what I meant. That was the girl who took my virginity.
“She may have been my first, but I wasn’t hers. She was also my first broken heart. She cheated on me with someone I considered a friend.” Crystal reached over and intertwined our fingers. I looked over and saw what I thought was recognition in her eyes. She admitted to having a failed relationship. Did she experience the same betrayal I had?
“She cheated with someone in your band?” It was no secret that the band, with the exception of Bash, had been together for a long time. Add that to my previous comment, and I could see why she had jumped to that conclusion.
“No, not these guys,” I was quick to correct her. “Someone from childhood. I considered him a friend at the time.”
“What hurt you the most, his betrayal or hers?” She squeezed the hand she had been holding.
I knew who I blamed. As much as we teased Jen about being a groupie, everyone knew she was my groupie.
He knew she was mine.
I never bothered to ask either of them why it was so easy for them to step over that line.
If I had dealt with it at the time, would subsequent relationships have turned out differently?
Would I have opened myself up to love again?
Was that where I wanted things to progress with Crystal?
Chapter 20
Crystal
Well, fuck me.
He wasn't kidding when he said he wanted to do ‘the feels'. I was happy he was comfortable being honest with me. Only now, he was going to expect me to reciprocate. I had become a master of deflecting topics I did not want to dig into deep deeply.
Discussing my past was one of those topics.
“Some would call me a bad girl. I’m definitely not a virgin nor submissive,” I proudly proclaimed.
“I’m not against a woman who knows who she is and not afraid to claim her sexuality. To me, that doesn’t define a bad girl,” he explained. “But a woman who uses others without thinking about the repercussions of her actions or the damage she creates along the way—that is what I would describe as a bad girl.”
“Well, I’m glad you cleared that up.” So Baden Dogger did not consider me a bad girl.
“I enjoy spending time with you, Crystal. I hope you feel the same about me?” he asked.
“I do, Baden. I enjoyed working with you and getting to know you this past month. Not just on a professional level, but personal as well.” I wasn’t going to lie or play phony games and pretend he did not affect me. Hell, the way we burned up the sheets told him as much.
“Have you ever been in love, Crystal?”
Shit, I knew he was going to ask. I opened that conversation first. It would be only natural that he would be as curious about me as I was about him.
I was going to keep as close to the truth as I could without revealing too much. I made that mistake once.
“Yes, I believed I was in love with my high school boyfriend. Things didn’t work out for us. I was told young love often doesn’t. It didn’t make it any easier at the time, though.” I was purposely vague while being as honest as I could.
“Was he the musician?”
I should have kept my big mouth shut. What made me think I could make a statement like that and not expect Baden to want details?
“No, he was going to be an accountant. We planned on getting married after college. He had everything figured out. I loved him and believed he knew what was best for us.” Would he let it drop?
“How long were you together?” he asked.
I could answer that one. “All through high school and our first semester of college.”
“You went to college? What did you study?” Was he surprised that I wasn’t a dropout?
“Yes, Baden, I went to college. I studied music composition and completed my teaching degree.” I might as well tell him what I had accomplished while at school.
“Did you not like teaching? Is that why you decided to pursue a music career?” He would not have been the first to question my decision not to take advantage of my degree to procure a less fickle career.
“I’ve always wanted to pursue music, but sometimes life gets in the way, and you have to rethink your choices. I took a short detour,” I smirked, remembering the circumstances that had me second-guessing my abilities and deciding I needed a backup plan, just in case.
“Would you believe I went to college and got a business degree?” He coyly glanced my way.
No, I would not. But it wasn’t like I followed Get Bent’s career. The obvious tabloid fodder was hard to miss, but I didn’t Google any of the guys to see what they had done before Get Bent hit the worldwide stage.
They could have been circus performers, for all I knew.
“You did a great job with us,” I praised him. “I could see you in one of those fancy three-piece suits like Theo,” I teased.
“As long as I don’t start carrying around one of those ridiculous stress balls Theo’s fond of. I think I could live without that,” he laughed.
“What is it with him and that stupid stress ball?” I had to ask. It had become a running joke around the building. Theo never seemed to be without it.
“As a drummer, Theo’s used to his hands always being busy. It was Sabrina’s suggestion to help him release pent up energy. Theo couldn’t fuck his excess energy while she was recovering after Lizzy was born.” I watched his expression to see if he was kidding. “I think Theo got used to having it, and now it’s become a habit.” Nope, he was serious. “Speaking of pent up energy,” he hesitated, “what was that comment about an obligatory backstage fuck?”
Fuck, I needed to learn to keep my big mouth shut.
“Baden, you of all people should be able to relate to the kind of buzz you feel after a great performance.” I saw him nod in agreement. Then I gave him a look that asked, did I really need to spell it out any further?
“The tour starts in a couple of weeks,” he reminded me. As if I needed reminding. “I want to be that guy, Crystal. I want to be the guy you go to for that obligatory fuck.�
� My mouth dropped open. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Was he asking for a relationship?
“I’m not the submissive type, Baden, and I am not going to change who I am,” I stated. This industry was infested with men who attempted to mold a musician to their vision. I wasn’t going to let that happen in my personal life.
“I would never ask you to change for me, Crystal.” He shifted closer and kissed my temple. “I like you the way you are. I’m drawn to your confidence and charisma. I adore your wit and enjoy that you share my warped sense of humor.”
“You had me at, I would never ask you to change.” I turned my head, kissed his cheek and rested my head on his shoulder. “I like you too, Baden,” I sighed. “But I’m not sure this is a good idea.” I placed my hand across his mouth before he could protest. “I don’t want to be the girl that slept her way into the tour.” I removed my hand.
“Crystal, everyone knows Theo picked the bands for this tour, not me.” His brow furrowed.
“No, Baden, they don’t. Theo, yourself, and maybe the guys in your band know this information. The roadies, the crew, the other acts, they don’t, and we both know all it would take is one rumor.” Somehow I knew he would not understand. Men rarely were accused of sleeping their way to the top.
He caressed my face and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “We could get ahead of the rumors. Have Anita add the fact that we are together at next week's press release promoting the tour. We could go to a reputable music blogger and tell our story. Tell the world that while we were working together, we fell in love.”
“What the fuck, Baden? No one said anything about falling in love.” I jumped off the bed and began pacing. It took a few seconds for me to register that I was doing it naked and that Baden was staring at me.
I reached for the hotel bathrobe hanging in the closet and covered my nakedness.
“Would you come back to bed if I told you it was a Freudian slip?”
I wanted to smack the smirk that adorned his face. He was enjoying my discomfort. The bastard was sitting naked on the bed, looking hot and tempting, his sexy body on display. It almost made me forget why I wasn’t lying in that bed beside him. Better yet, on top of him.
“Freudian slip?” I repeated.
“Freudian slip,” he confirmed.
I disrobed and returned to my place on the bed. I smacked his arm. “Don’t ever do that again.” I sent him a warning glare.
“Ever,” he paused, “or until you’re ready to hear it?”
“Baden,” I quietly pleaded.
“I’m not saying today,” he assured me. “It really was a Freudian slip, but I want to pursue a relationship with you. If the only thing holding you back is your fear of what this could do to your reputation, then we do what I said. We get Anita and the PR team to put out our version of how we began our relationship. We don’t try to hide it. We flaunt it proudly because I would be honored to call you my girlfriend.”
“Can we sleep on it?” This was not what I had expected when I agreed to come to his room. I needed time to process what he admitted. I hadn’t been involved in a relationship in years. Baden had to understand that there was going to be a learning curve.
He, on the other hand, was a relationship serialist. If what you could call what he did with his submissives relationships. It was all very confusing, and now I was stressed.
It was time to table any more in-depth conversations.
“You plan on sleeping?” Baden’s deep voice dripping with innuendo growled in my ear.
“Well,” I traced his taut defined pecs with my finger, “I’m still waiting for my obligatory backstage fuck,” I teased him.
“That is something I would be extremely pleased to take care of for you.” He pulled me to the middle of the bed and hovered above me with lust-filled, hooded eyes.
I guessed we were done with ‘the feels’ for tonight.
Thank freaking god.
He fucked and ate me out as if he had all the time in the world. I returned the favor when I rode him hard and sucked him off. We were sexually equal in what we took and what we gave. When we were both exhausted and sated, I curled into him as we drifted off to sleep.
I had not felt this kind of contentment in a long time. I was safe in Baden’s arms. Hidden away from the world.
Would I feel as safe tomorrow, in the light of day where everyone was too quick to label and judge?
Chapter 21
Baden
The moment of truth.
I was afraid to disturb her sleep. We crossed a milestone last night. Hopefully, she wouldn’t wake up having second thoughts about us and the possibility of being open about our relationship. I understood what she was saying. Our career put us in the public eye. Everything we did was scrutinized and analyzed. Paparazzi made a living out of pursuing famous personalities, hoping to get that one shot that will pay an exorbitant amount of money.
I’d seen musicians try to hide their relationships. It never ended well. The more it was denied, the fiercer unscrupulous paparazzi haunted their every moment. Nothing was private when you lived the life of the famous.
None of this mattered when we were a bunch of nobodies starting out. Maddox and I had given the tabloids enough fodder to keep them too busy to pry into our lives before we were Get Bent.
Added to that was the tragedy of Adam’s girlfriend dying in a car crash. That story in itself kept the piranhas busy.
The look of utter anguish on Crystal’s face when I dropped the L-word left me worried that if I pushed too hard, she would run. Not that she would get far. Like I reminded her last night, we would be traveling together for the next six months. Of course, she would be on the Divine Chrysalis bus bonding with her bandmates, the same way I would be with ReInVented.
It was the pit stops along the way that I was looking forward to exploring with Crystal.
She began to stir, and my thoughts went into overdrive. I had to have a counter attack ready in case she tried to backpedal and blow me off.
Fuck, thinking of her blowing me off gave me morning wood. I needed to focus on the task at hand, which was not letting Crystal get into her head. She could talk herself out of this agreement we came to before exhausting ourselves with the best sex I had ever had.
I looked down as her eyes fluttered open.
“Good morning.” I smiled and kissed her pouty lips.
“Coffee, then I’ll decide if it's a good morning,” she growled.
Okay, note to self, Crystal was not a morning person.
“Would you like some breakfast?” I asked. Getting her to sit long enough to eat something would give me the time I needed to gauge her intentions. Would she stay, or would she go?
“I would love some bacon. Bacon makes everything better,” she sighed.
“You can have anything you want, my love.” I kissed her forehead.
She glared up at me.
“I meant it as a term of endearment.” I realized my mistake. I used the L-word twice in less than twenty-four hours. This was not going to be like any of the other relationships I have had. Crystal was going to challenge me every step of the way. She wasn’t kidding when she told me she would not be submissive. That was another factor of this relationship I was going to have to get used to.
I was no longer in charge. We would be equal partners in and out of the bedroom. I had no illusions that she was going to let me control her career any more than I would her personal life.
Mentor and guide, yes, control, hell to the no. And I would never expect that from her.
She suddenly jerked straight up and reached for her phone. I snickered, knowing what had riled her. She was looking for reviews on last night’s performance.
“That good?” The mile-wide smile on her face told me she was pleased with what she had read.
“Yeah,” she lowered her eyes and bit her bottom lip. “I shouldn’t be surprised, considering the reaction Anita got last night from the fan sites.” The humbleness in
her voice was apparent. Crystal was not going to take anything for granted.
I threw the covers off and kissed her forehead. “I’m going to let you enjoy your success while I shower.” I headed towards the bathroom. “I’ll order room service while you take yours.” I wasn’t going to give her the chance to deny my request.
When I exited the bathroom, she was waiting by the door with the bathrobe from last night in her hands. She sauntered past me with an exaggerated sway of her hips and a wink before closing the door and turning the lock.
That girl was going to ruin me. In fact, I believed she had already.
I ordered a full breakfast for both of us. I wanted to take our time and discuss how we were going to proceed after last night's confessions.
I was pleased with myself for having the foresight to confess to Theo my growing feeling for Crystal. That would be one less obstacle she could use to attempt to dwarf my efforts. I was honest with her last night about my past relationships. I didn’t believe she lied to me; however, it was apparent she was holding something back.
Was the reason she didn’t date musicians the same reason I didn’t date bad girls? She said it didn’t end well, but she never admitted to having her heart broken by him. The look of forlorn sorrow when I mention Jen’s cheating had me wondering if that was not what had happened with her musician.
There were many layers to Crystal that I had yet to uncover. The first hurdle was getting her to agree to a relationship with me, another musician.
She came out of the bathroom wearing the hotel terry robe. Her eyes flickered over my naked torso as I organized the room service cart that had been delivered while she was in the shower.
I managed to pull on my jeans before breakfast arrived.
I pushed the cart close to the end of the bed, sat down and waited for her to join me. I began to lift the lids displaying a variety of breakfast food. Fruit, yogurt, scrambled eggs and an entire plate of bacon.
That got her attention. She sat on the end of the bed with an excited bounce. “Bacon, food of the gods.” She claimed a strip and shoved it into her mouth. There were no ladylike nibbles or delicate bites. This woman was not afraid to show her true self.
Rock Gods: Baden Page 11