One of the reporters dared to shout at Damon, “Mr. McGraff, will you be pressing charges against Baden Dogger?”
Damon shook his head in disgust, flipped the bird and walked away.
I knew the questions would continue if I did not put an end to the chaos.
“I won’t be answering any more questions. What I want to do is issue a formal apology to Mr. McGraff, Bentley Records and especially Crystal Divine for my juvenile behavior.”
I turned to walk away before the questions got too personal. All these paps were interested in was a salacious story they could sell to the highest bidder. I’d given them enough today already.
And Theo, fuck… how was I supposed to explain this to him, or even Maddox and Adam, for that matter? I never told anyone about going to find Damon the next day. It didn’t matter to me that he had cheated on Shelby. He was our drummer, our friend. We were impulsive and drunk when we decided to stand behind Shelby to replace Damon with Theo. I thought it was a betrayal on our part.
The only betrayal was mine to Theo and the band by going behind everyone’s back in an attempt to get Damon back on board. And now it was all going to come back and bite me in the ass.
This was the first time I had any contact with Damon since that morning when I recognized the tattoo of a rose on the wrist of his bed companion. I thought it was Shelby. We all let Charlie practice on us when he had started at his family’s tattoo parlor. Shelby and Jen each got a rose on the inside of their wrist. Adam, Damon, and I had skulls on our shoulders. The rose tattoo was the reason I thought Shelby and Damon had kissed and made up. When I saw the hint of pink, spiky hair, I knew it could only belong to one person. I quietly crept out of the room and have not spoken to either since that day.
Because I did not deal with the anger and hurt from my past, I stood to lose everything good in my future.
My chest ached with the possibility that Crystal might never forgive me.
When the truth came out, was I going to have to worry about forgiveness from Theo and Shelby as well?
Chapter 46
Crystal
I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide after watching what had happened at the community center on every news gossip site. Damon’s confession gave me insight as to what prompted Baden to act in such a barbaric manner. It didn’t make the sting any less relevant.
How the hell had I not made the connection? His familiarity with Charlie at Skulls & Roses, where I first ran into Baden. Shelby’s ties to the community center. I knew the band had been friends for a long time, but that they grew up in that neighborhood? That little tidbit had been news to me.
The comment I made about sneaking me into his childhood bedroom when I was to meet his parents ran on a loop in my head. According to Jade, Baden and Maddox bought their parents an antique shop in a quaint little village about two hours from New York. The house they currently lived in was not his childhood home. Had he told me where his childhood home was, I would have made the connection to him living in the same neighborhood as the Fosters. I would have connected the dots and asked if he knew my Uncle Damon.
It was embarrassing to learn Jade knew more about Baden’s background than me.
Damon told me he saw the headlines with Baden and me. He admitted he believed the relationship would be short-lived and his past indiscretions would not have to come to light.
My talk with Aunt Jen wasn’t pretty. It involved cheating and drugs. They were young, in love, and impetuous.
She hadn’t painted Baden in the best light, either. I wasn’t under any delusions that Baden was a saint when I met him. Fame came while he was navigating his way through young adulthood.
I had a couple of days to reflect on everything that had happened this past year. Perhaps I had jumped into this relationship without weighing the consequences of what would happen should it fall apart.
I was an emotional wreck.
It wasn’t a matter of whether I could forgive Baden. I understood his reasons for jumping to the conclusion he had. It was not the first time he had made a jealousy based assumption. What hurt was that he had broken the promise he made the last time it happened.
I had a big decision to make.
Could I trust Baden Dogger at his word?
Chapter 47
Baden
I stood outside the house the girls had been living in since they moved to Tranquility. I heeded Damon’s advice and took a couple of days for us to process our emotions before attempting any reconciliation.
I had sent Crystal many texts profusely apologizing. I sent her the link to the interview I had done outside of her father's house. It was imperative she knew how sorry I was for my behavior.
Before I made any attempt to contact Crystal, I knew I had to make things right with Theo, Shelby, Damon, and Jen.
I arranged to meet with Damon and Jen someplace public. I’d hoped this decision did not come back to bite me in the ass. I assumed as adults we would be able to keep our tempers in check out in public.
Jen explained that when we were together, I had never referred to her as my girlfriend. She was my groupie. There was never a conversation about us being exclusive, and I had never invited her to a Dogger Sunday dinner.
“How was I to know I meant anything more to you than what you had always called me from the first day we met, a groupie?” There was no malice in her tone. “I saw you leave that morning. You didn’t confront us. You made no attempts to fight for me.” Her statement opened my eyes to my ignorance.
I let years of animosity build our relationship into more than it was. She was my groupie. I didn’t love her. What I felt was possessiveness. She was my fucking groupie, and everyone knew that.
Did that mean she didn’t have the right to find love? Even if it was with one of my best friends?
I was a selfish bastard. I used this to assuage my guilt for turning our backs on Damon when we should have been trying to help him. I held onto that grudge passing the blame on to him for the demise of Damon’s Demons.
That had to be the hardest thing I had to admit to myself.
Theo and Shelby didn’t give a rat’s ass about what I thought was a betrayal to them. The fact that I had kept that secret to myself and let it dictate my behavior for years afterward was punishment enough, according to Theo.
We hugged it out, and afterward Theo threatened to shave my balls if I didn’t make things right with Crystal.
It was the day before our New Year’s Eve extravaganza in Times Square. Crystal and I were asked to do our duet. The fans were requesting it after it had gone viral on the band’s social media site.
I’d watched it over a dozen times and hated myself for ruining the only genuine relationship I had experienced. I was in love with Crystal Divine. From the way she looked at me during our duet, It was evident that she had fallen in love with me as well.
I had to find a way to salvage what we had.
This was how I found myself standing on her doorstep with a plan Kitt had helped me devise. I was no fool. If I wanted to impress a woman, the best advice I could get would be from another woman.
Kitt only agreed to help me after I thoroughly explained myself and showed remorse. Maddox was shocked to find out about the relationship between Damon and Crystal. Like myself, he was baffled as to how it had never come up at some point.
Regardless of the mistakes made, I had to prove I deserved Crystal’s love. And in return, I would offer mine unconditionally.
I knew merely telling her I loved her was not enough.
I needed actions, not words.
I raised my hand and knocked on the door. I knew all the girls of Divine Chrysalis had returned to Tranquility with Crystal. Chicks before dicks. That was how Kitt had put it.
When the door opened, I came face to face with a set of stone, cold amber eyes. Jade looked none too pleased to see me standing on the stoop. She looked me up and down, and a smirk appeared when she noticed my hands. She made a grab for the bottle of wine I had purc
hased as part of my plan to woo Crystal back.
“French merlot, good choice,” she acknowledged before taking the bottle from my clutches and slamming the door in my face.
I released a long exasperated sigh, raised my hand and knocked again.
When the door opened, it was to the glowering stare of Sapphire’s green eyes that froze me in place and sent a shiver down my spine. I wasn’t a coward, but damn if she couldn’t destroy a person's confidence with that stare.
Her lips tipped slightly as she focused on the box of chocolates I had wrapped with a pretty bow.
“Belgian Dark Delights, my favorite, thank you.” She slipped the box from my grasp, and once again my reward was a door in the face.
These girls were not going to make it easy for me to get past the gauntlet. And so they shouldn’t. Real friends would do exactly what these girls were doing to protect Crystal. I had to admire them for it. If only I were not the one on the receiving end of their wrath.
I dressed for the late December weather, but fuck it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey outside. I was not going to let that discourage me or give up. Once again, I attempted to gain access and knocked on the door.
The door opened with a jolt. Standing arms crossed defensively across her chest was Ashley. The steely grey of her irises was burning with distrust.
“Hmm.” She took the bouquet of roses without losing eye contact. “Let’s see,” she leaned in and took a whiff of the scented arrangement I took special care to order. “Red for passion, white for purity and yellow for forgiveness.” Still holding the roses, she popped a hip and pouted, “Did you think you can show up with meaningless gifts, and we’re going to cave?”
Hello, face meet door.
Three down, one to go.
I knocked for the fourth time.
“Hey,” Amber’s shy voice seemed to echo in the still nighttime. “Looks like you’re all out of ammunition,” she pointed to my empty hands.
I reached behind my back and pulled a thumb drive out of my back pocket. “Modern-day mixed tape of sappy love songs.” I handed it to Amber.
At this point, I was well acquainted with the process.
At least she didn’t slam the door in my face.
“Take a seat on the swing,” she pointed towards the end of the porch. “I’ll see if I can get Crystal to come and hear you out, at least.”
Before I had a chance to move, Amber’s knee came up and connected with my balls. Not hard enough to render me sterile, but fuck, for such a petite creature, she had some strength behind her. I should consider myself lucky that this had not been the reception I received from each of the girls.
“I don’t condone violence to solve problems,” she blushed, “but if you ever lay a hand on a family member ever again, I won’t be the only one taking shots at your balls.” She turned on her heel and headed inside, gently closing the door behind her.
I did as she said and took a seat on the swing. Kitt had warned me that I was going to receive resistance from Crystal’s girl squad. I pulled out my phone and sent a thank you text to Kitt. I may not have made it past Jade had I not come prepared.
I sat staring into the darkness of night. Were my gestures enough to get Crystal to come out and talk to me? I had to hope she would want to have closure at least before we started the next leg of the tour.
Whether it was to give me a second chance or tell me to fuck off and leave her alone, we both deserved to know where the other stood.
The door creaked open, and I held my breath.
Crystal stepped outside wearing her pink pea coat that stopped barely above her knees. She had the hand-made knitted wool cap and mittens I had picked up for her at one of the fairs we attended when the tour first started. The fact that she not only accepted my Christmas gift but was wearing them lit a fire in my chest.
That was a good sign, right?
She sat down beside me. I had not said a word. I was afraid anything I had to say was inadequate. We sat pushing the swing with our feet.
Crystal reached over and held my hand.
I froze.
Was this a reconciliation or a good-bye?
“You hurt me, Baden,” she stated somberly.
“I know, I’m so fucking sorry, Crystal. Tell me what I need to do to fix this.” I held up our hands that had intertwined themselves together despite her mittens.
“I don’t know, Baden. You broke a promise. You broke my trust.” She looked over, and my heart stopped at the glistening of unshed tears she forced to keep from falling. “You broke my heart.”
“Then take mine.” I fell to my knees and pulled out the blue Tiffany box that I had intended to present to Crystal Christmas morning. “Take mine,” I begged her.
She took the box and closed the lid and placed it in the palm of my hand.
“I can’t, Baden. I’m so angry with you right now, I might crush it out of spite.” The words weren’t meant to hurt me but to make me understand how badly I had fucked up.
I got off my knees and sat beside her. “I love you, Crystal, and I will do whatever you want to prove to you I can be the kind of man you can trust again, the kind of man you can love. Name it, anything.”
“Oh, Baden,” she quivered, “I never stopped loving you.”
I attempted to explain that it was my past with Damon that had me seeing red and acting out as I had. She held her hand up to stop me.
“I know a lot of people in this industry. Some I have been with and others have become good friends. I need to know that this was a one time event circumvented by the people involved and the past you, Damon and Jen shared.”
“I’ll do better, I swear,” I proclaimed with as much honesty I could convey.
“I believe that was what you told me after you accused Keith of being an obligatory fuck buddy if I’m not mistaken.” She shrugged and met my eyes. I could see the hurt that I was responsible for putting there.
It gutted me.
I had to find out where this left us. Was there anything left to salvage, or had I destroyed Crystal’s ability to trust me after everything I had done to her? Twice I had misjudged the situation and accused her of infidelity.
Twice I had been wrong.
There was still a tour to complete, and it would be hell if we couldn’t continue to behave at least friendly towards one another.
It pained me to ask the question, but I needed clarification on where we stood. I was careful not to say anything to cause irreparable damage to what was left of the friendship we once had.
I took a deep breath, hoping she could not pick up the nervousness in my voice.
“Crystal, is this goodbye, or is there anything I can do to regain the trust you once had in me?”
Chapter 48
Baden
Two Months Later
I was one lucky bastard.
It didn’t happen overnight.
Crystal and I agreed that we would take a step back and start where most couples do, with dating. I was able to take her on dates to some of the most romantic places on earth.
The European tour was as, if not more, successful than our North American leg. This left little downtime as requests were pouring in for interviews and appearances. Bentley Records was experiencing pressure to add dates to the tour. However, as promised, Theo kept his word allowing us two days off a week to explore and enjoy the sights. Not to say the days we did work were not long and filled with fan meet and greets, press releases, rehearsals and, of course, the actual performance.
That didn’t deter me from my most important goal.
Earning Crystal’s trust.
I took Crystal on a romantic gondola ride in Venice. We did a wine tour in San Marino. Snorkeling in the Mediterranean, and cappuccinos and croissants in an authentic French cafe.
The European fans were less aggressive than our American ones. They respected our space when we were out in public. Not to say we didn’t get our fair share of groping and offers
of sexual favors at our concerts. That was part of the job. The price we paid for being famous.
I showed Crystal I could control my temper when men approached her with offers of marriage and other not so innocent things. She handled herself like the professional she was learning to become, always cordial while turning down such offers without coming off snobbish. It was a fine line, and all the girls of Divine Chrysalis were fast becoming accustomed to how to deal with the unruly mob of fans.
And yes, we ran into people who knew Crystal and were more than friendly with their greetings. And yes, I held my temper in check and trusted Crystal. That didn’t mean the dominant caveman in me didn’t want to rip the throat out of every man who looked her way.
We were more than halfway through our tour when we found ourselves in Paris, France. Anita arranged for a private group tour of the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and, of course, Jim Morrison’s grave.
The group started reminiscing about other artists that had died young.
As we made our way to our hotel, Crystal tugged on my hand and strolled, putting us at the back of the pack.
“I’ve been thinking about how short life can be. It’s too short to hold onto grudges and hate. Think of how many years you wasted hurting because you believed that two people you trusted betrayed you.” She stopped, wrapped her arms around my neck, and laid her head on my chest. “I’m done feeling hurt. I don’t want us to waste any more time. I want to be with you, Baden.” She looked up, “I want you.”
She didn’t have to tell me twice. I strode past the group we came with and pulled up the map app on my phone. I wanted the quickest route back to our hotel. Crystal giggled as I practically dragged her through side streets and alleys.
Except for some kissing and minor petting, I had not had the pleasure of having Crystal’s beautiful body pressed to mine since New York. I missed the contact of skin on skin, the intimacy that came with making love with your soul mate. That was what Crystal was to me.
Rock Gods: Baden Page 24