She went out into the corridor and grabbed the bathroom that was free, grinning as Novak was forced to wait his turn.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Once in the Command Center, she tried to ignore Novak, but it was impossible when she was hyperaware of the guy’s every move. Every time she looked at him, she felt like she had hearts in her eyes. She also didn’t want to confuse the guy by ignoring him, but they both had important jobs to do.
If only she could wipe the satisfied smirk off her face. She glanced over at Novak and noticed he suffered from a similar affliction.
Then she caught Eban’s gaze. He was glowering at her.
“Can I talk to you in private?” he asked.
“Sure.” Was he finally going to tell her what was going on with him? She thought he’d head to a quiet corner in the large space but, instead, he went out the front door into the subzero temperatures. Great. She grabbed her coat. Novak walked over to join her.
She shook her head. “I need a private moment with Eban. McKenzie isn’t here. I’ll be back in five minutes.”
His eyebrows flashed, and he jerked his head toward McKenzie’s team. “I think his people report back on everything, including us.”
“This won’t take long.” She touched his arm and saw Dominic’s gaze flicker over them. She removed her hand even though she regularly touched her fellow negotiators this way. Dammit.
Outside, she ducked her chin into the high neck of her coat and stuffed her hands deep into the pockets. She glanced around. Eban was nowhere in sight, but then she spotted him at the corner of the building and followed him until they were out of sight around the back.
“What’s up?”
Eban’s dark eyes were narrowed. “You slept with him.”
“I was ordered to, remember?” She tried to brazen her way out of being blindsided by the accusation.
“Don’t bullshit me.”
Charlotte’s eyes went wide. She opened her mouth to deny it, but there was no way she could lie to one of her best friends.
“How could you be such an idiot, Char?” Eban kept his voice low, but it struck a blow.
Charlotte gritted her teeth on a moment of hurt and anger. “It’s none of your business. And I don’t remember you giving Dominic hell when he hooked up with Ava in New York State.”
“They weren’t working together.”
“Technically, they were.” Hot fury rose up inside her at his double standards. “Plus, Ava was a rookie.”
“Ava is more than capable of looking after herself,” Eban bit back.
Charlotte’s jaw dropped. She advanced a step. “And I’m not?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what you said, and as a negotiator you understand the importance of words.” Did he really think she was some weak, ineffectual female? Was that how he viewed her? As someone who couldn’t read men and had no right to take a lover of her own?
“Listen, Charlotte. Guys like Payne Novak are after one thing and one thing only.”
“One thing?” Charlotte echoed.
“Come on. Don’t be so naive. I know you’re looking for a relationship, but Novak isn’t that kind of guy.”
“What kind of guy is he?”
Eban rolled his eyes and looked off toward the woods. “I spoke to my buddy about him. He does one-night stands and is not the type to send flowers the next day. He’s never even known Novak to go on a date, ever.”
Ice formed on Charlotte’s insides. “Maybe he hasn’t found what he’s looking for before now?”
“Grow up, Charlotte. You don’t think the entire Hostage Rescue Team aren’t taking bets on whether or not he bangs you during this incident?” Eban’s cynicism was like acid dripping on her heart.
Hurt pierced her. “Do you know that for a fact?”
“I heard one of the guys speculating. I told him to can it.” He put a hand on her shoulder and leaned close, pity in his gaze.
“That is not Novak’s fault. That’s what people do.” Charlotte jerked away from Eban. “How dare you think you get to comment on my love life when you won’t discuss your own.” He reared back. “And don’t think I don’t know what’s made you into such a miserable grouch these last few months.”
“Hey. I’m not talking about me. I’m trying to protect you.” His nostrils flared, and he went to turn away.
She grabbed his arm. “That’s not how this works. You don’t get to interfere in my love life and not expect a little tit for tat.”
“I don’t have a love life,” he said bitterly.
She moved closer again because she did not want anyone overhearing this conversation. “Apparently, you want to make sure I’m as miserable and alone as you are.”
Eban’s eyes widened. “He’s taking advantage of you. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
“What about him being hurt by me? Why is that not an equal possibility?”
Eban’s expression told her everything she needed to know about what he thought about the chance of that. He obviously didn’t find her worthy of a man’s genuine affection.
“Maybe I wanted sex.”
Eban flinched.
“Women do, you know. Actually want to have sex now and then without a wedding band or an FBI interrogation.”
“I’m trying to look out for you.”
“Well, whippee. For the record, I seduced him. Twice. And, yes, if I’m honest, I’d like to actually spend more time with him, get to know him outside work. Hang with someone who isn’t in CNU for a change.” Rage heated her veins. “But if he isn’t interested in anything except sex, then I’ll take that too. Because I deserve to be loved, Eban. In every sense of the word.”
“You do deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy.”
But Eban obviously didn’t think Novak could value or love her except in bed. It showed exactly what he thought of her.
“What about Darby O’Roarke?” She pushed because she was incensed.
“What about her?”
“Doesn’t she deserve to be happy?”
He crossed his arms over his chest on the defensive. “Of course, she does. What’s that got to do with you or me?”
It had everything to do with why he was so miserable and determined to take them all down with him. “Doesn’t she want you?”
Eban glared at her. “That is irrelevant. She was traumatized.”
Charlotte wanted to snarl but reminded herself she was usually good at talking to people. That was her job. It was his too. “True. But she’s a smart female and maybe you should start listening to what she’s saying rather than shoving your world view down her throat.”
“She was brutalized. She was almost destroyed.” His eyes glittered.
Charlotte hardened her heart. She wasn’t the pushover everyone assumed.
“Then offer her love. Offer her devotion. Treat her like she’s the only important thing in your life. Make her life worth living.”
He shook his head. “You’re such a goddamn idealist.”
She got in his face and yelled, “I’m the most practical person you will ever meet!”
“Bullshit. You’re already in love with him!” Eban swung away from her before he could see how well that barb struck home. “Is he worth your career?”
“It won’t come to that.”
“What if it does?”
She looked down at the broken blades of grass beneath their feet. “Then that will be my choice to make.”
Novak chose that moment to walk around the side of the building.
Eban clearly wasn’t done making her life miserable. As Novak got closer, he said, “You need to leave her the hell alone.”
Charlotte’s mouth dropped wide open.
Novak kept coming. He looked from Eban to her. “Are you okay?”
“She doesn’t need you negatively impacting her career.”
“Negatively impacting…?” she exclaimed.
“What are you? Her fucking brother?
” Novak stopped next to Charlotte.
Eban lunged for Novak, accidentally knocking into Charlotte. She caught herself on the side of the outbuilding, but she wasn’t a fragile flower. She was a goddamn Federal Agent. Eban landed a blow on Novak, and the next thing, he and Novak were both on the ground, grappling. Novak outweighed Eban by thirty pounds and trained daily. She could tell he was trying to hold back, but Eban was no slouch, and he wasn’t pulling his punches.
Charlotte tried to drag Novak off the other negotiator, because this was insane, but Eban used Novak’s distraction to get him into the exact same hold she’d gotten Novak into the first morning he’d woken her. And she watched Novak easily flip Eban onto his back using his legs, to end up pinning him to the ground. She realized how easily he could have reversed their positions that first day. But he hadn’t. Because he’d wanted her to keep her power.
Novak let Eban go and rolled to his feet. Then he reached out and held his hand out to pull Eban up.
Eban stared at her and seemed to realize he’d completely fucked up. He waited a beat before he took Novak’s hand and let the other man pull him to his feet.
“You better treat her right.”
“We slept together, Eban. Doesn’t mean we’re going to get married.” Charlotte shook her head at her friend. “Go fix your own love life before you try to interfere with mine.”
She walked away, even as Eban opened his mouth to argue with her more. She ignored him. She had work to do. They all had work to do, and she should never have allowed herself to be distracted.
Novak caught up with her. “Are you all right?”
She blew out an exasperated breath. “I wasn’t the one brawling.”
He blinked as if she’d hurt his feelings.
She stopped walking and faced him. “Sorry. Yes, I’m fine. He shouldn’t have attacked you that way.” She raked her fingers through her hair and wondered how she’d got into this mess. “Eban is worried about me getting hurt.”
Novak drew back, and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. “I’m not expecting any sort of commitment from you, Novak. I’m simply telling you the facts. Despite what Eban might believe, I have actually slept with guys before, and I didn’t want or expect a ring from any of them.” The fact anything worth mentioning had been years ago was irrelevant. “What I don’t want is for our”—she searched for the right word—“intimacy, to interfere with our jobs.”
His expression closed down, and she had to wonder if she’d somehow managed to say the wrong thing again. So much for being a top negotiator. Right now, she couldn’t negotiate her way out of a wide-open prairie field. Although it was hard to employ active listening techniques when the person you were talking with didn’t say anything back to you.
McKenzie chose that moment to open the back door of the ranch house and jog down the steps.
Novak looked from their boss to her and back. “You’re right. We probably need to cool it.”
“What?” she choked out.
All the joy she’d experienced last night evaporated. She swallowed. Maybe Eban had been correct in trying to warn her that having sex wouldn’t equate to anything but a passing distraction for the HRT leader. She had literally thrown herself at this guy last night.
She froze with the knowledge that maybe she’d simply been there, convenient and willing. Her stomach rebelled, and she had to swallow back the bile that crawled up her throat.
Apparently, she’d been lying to herself. She wasn’t equipped for some purely physical fun, no matter how much she wanted that to be the case.
She wanted more.
Then McKenzie was giving orders and not seeing anything amiss even as her heart ping-ponged against her ribs. She nodded woodenly, going through the motions as tiredness swept over her in an inexorable wave.
“You two okay?” McKenzie frowned.
She nodded quickly. “Discussing today’s joint itinerary.” Which was basically the end of what they’d started last night.
Well, it had been fun while it lasted. But considering her emotions were going through the shredder, she wasn’t sure it had been worth it.
McKenzie took her words at face value.
“You two have proven you can work together. You’re released from having to spend every moment shadowing one another. Weather is supposed to change this afternoon. Novak, the mockup building is finished. Get your men practicing to infiltrate the compound. Blood, go talk to Kayla and see if you can get her to tape that message to persuade TJ to give himself up.”
McKenzie checked his watch. “Meet back at the Command Center at noon.” He stared at them both expectantly, having no clue as to the quagmire of lust and confused hurt his orders from three days ago had wrought.
“Yes, boss.” Charlotte nodded miserably.
The two men walked away. Novak looked over his shoulder, but his expression was unreadable.
Dammit.
She blew out a long breath and headed into the ranch house, because she wasn’t ready to face Eban or Dominic, who knew her well enough to read the signs of misery. She felt battered, but she had to get her act together. Lives depended on it.
Did McKenzie’s change of orders mean HRT were planning to storm the compound before the blizzard hit? Or use it to disguise their activities?
She didn’t know. Didn’t want to know as it might taint what she said to Kayla or the people inside the building, should they actually communicate with the negotiators. The feeling of hurt and heartbreak in the background of her mind reminded her that even though she had found someone she connected with on multiple levels, and even though she was surrounded by dozens of people, she was still just as alone as she’d always been.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Novak had fucked up. He knew it.
Maybe he should have walked away from Eban, but when the guy knocked into Charlotte, anger got the better of him and he reacted before he regained control of his temper. By the time he had a hold of his emotions they were on the ground, battling for dominance.
He might not start a fight, but he wouldn’t run away from one.
But maybe he should have.
Eban had obviously figured out what they’d done last night and didn’t think Novak was good enough for his friend.
The guy wasn’t wrong, but it didn’t mean the insult didn’t sting.
That’s why he’d suggested to Charlotte that they cool it. It wasn’t what he wanted, but it would probably be better for her in the long term. He really wasn’t good with women.
Who was he kidding? He was protecting himself from when she figured it out too. Rejection sucked.
And then McKenzie had arrived.
He shook his head at himself. What a fucking coward. Have sex, brawl with her friend because the prick said Novak would hurt Charlotte, and then fucking hurt her because he was too chickenshit to tell her how he really felt. Like the world was brighter and the air smelled fresher and every cell in his body was fucking happy for once in his miserable life when he was with her.
Fuck. He couldn’t even text her because he didn’t know her personal number, and no way could he say what he wanted to say on their government issue cells.
Fucking fuck.
He walked inside the barn, not hearing a single word McKenzie said on the walk over, except something to do with the bullhorn.
“Sitrep,” Novak shouted as he strode to the tables where they’d set up their maps and computers. All he could see was the hurt and betrayal etched across Charlotte’s features.
“First drone is in a good position to receive quality intel we’re relaying straight to Quantico for analysis. A team of image and sound engineers are dissecting as much information out of the noise as possible.” Angeletti frowned in concentration. “No sign of Tom Harrison or his son yet.”
“Assemble Charlie team. They’ll spend the morning practicing assaulting the bunker and figuring out the best DA plan.” Deliberate Action—the best-case scenario where HRT controlled the assau
lt rather than being controlled by the need to get inside and rescue hostages when things had spiraled out of control.
“No live fire. The construction material isn’t bulletproof, but it’ll give the guys the opportunity to get a feel for the space. I want them to know it blindfolded. Echo team swaps in this afternoon.” One team needed to remain here in case the situation went south, and they had to respond immediately.
“Yes, sir.” Angeletti flicked a glance at McKenzie before he left to hustle Charlie team into action.
Novak stood staring down at the map not seeing a thing, instead remembering the stricken expression on Charlotte’s face when he’d told her they should cool it.
Like he’d kicked a puppy.
He felt the boot in his gut. She’d never let him near her again. Why should she? No one needed that type of rejection, especially not a smart, beautiful woman like Charlotte Blood. Christ. He ran his hand over his face.
“Negotiators are going to start using the bullhorn, and leaflets are going to be delivered by drone at ten AM,” said McKenzie from behind him.
“That was quick.” Usually it would take a week to even get permission to spend the money, let alone print the leaflets.
“I made an executive decision.”
“Oh, the Bureau loves those.” Novak snorted.
McKenzie grinned. “Tell me about it.” Then he sobered. “You think SSA Blood is up to the job of being Negotiation Commander on this incident?”
Novak’s spine snapped straight. “Yes, sir.”
McKenzie shook his head wryly. “Think she’ll say the same ’bout you when I ask her?”
Numbness spread over Novak’s body. “I have no idea, boss. I only know you’d be a fool to underestimate her ideas or approach. She’s a smart agent. And you’re no fool.”
“Thank you, SSA Novak,” McKenzie said seriously, then he grinned. “I happen to agree with you about SSA Blood.”
Novak looked away as his mouth went dry. While he might have resented the heavy-handed approach McKenzie had taken, it had worked and now, rather than being desperate to hang out with his men and get the job done, he was mooning around the barn like a love-sick teen.
Cold Wicked Lies: A gripping romantic thriller that will have you hooked (Cold Justice - Crossfire Book 3) Page 25