Fire. Melting hot fire. Her body, every single particle of her being, was burning. For Adam. For the shattering of the senses she knew she could find only in his arms. That she was finding!
Her body reacted to Adam’s caresses as if it were only yesterday that they had made love, like a perfect ballet, their bodies moving to meld together. Adam’s mouth plundered hers as his hand moved to cup her breast, his thumb easily finding the throbbing tip, and heat such as Maggi had never known before coursed through her body.
She felt out of control, more so even than that first time with Adam all those years ago—her first time with a man. He had been so gentle with her that night, so careful of her innocence, bringing her again and again to the point of ecstasy before slowly soothing their passion to a slow fire, making sure he didn’t hurt her when his full possession finally came.
He was like that with her again now, his hands gentle but assured as he slowly but surely removed each piece of her clothing before removing his own. He was beautiful in the half-light, all golden muscle and sinew, his eyes dark as he looked down at her nakedness.
Was she different to him now? she wondered self-consciously. The accident had left scars, a mesh of silver lines that spread over her stomach and thighs, scars she had become accustomed to but which Adam had never seen before. Would he find her ugly now? Would he think—?
She gave an audible gasp as Adam slowly lowered his head and began to kiss that network of scars, each and every one of them. Her body instinctively arched towards his mouth, asking for more.
‘Adam…!’ She groaned her desperation, her body hot and wet, wanting Adam inside her, needing—Oh, how she needed!
His hands moved up to caress her breasts, his mouth still moist and warm on her skin, his tongue tracing the line of every single one of those silvery scars, until finally—finally he was kissing her as she wanted to be kissed. The whole world seemed to tilt wildly out of control as pleasure coursed through every part of her, emanating from the fire at her thighs out to her fingertips and the very tips of her toes.
If she had died and gone to heaven then she wanted to stay there, never wanted to be anywhere else but here in Adam’s arms, communicating with him in a way that had always been right between them. Once they had never been too tired, or too at odds with each other, to make love in this magical, mind-blowing way. Never—
She gasped again as Adam easily moved inside her, filling her totally, totally possessing her.
‘Look at me, Magdalena.’ He spoke hoarsely above her, and she realised for the first time that her eyes were tightly closed.
He was magnificent above her—dark hair tousled over his forehead, his eyes deep, fathomless pools, a slight flush to the harsh lines of his cheeks, his lips full, the dark column of his throat taut, his shoulders wide and muscular, hair curling damply across his chest.
‘I want you to know it’s me making love to you, Magdalena,’ he told her harshly. ‘And not some pale substitute.’
What—?
‘It’s me, Magdalena—Adam,’ he muttered gruffly as his mouth plundered the softly scented warmth of her throat. ‘I could always reach you this way, couldn’t I?’ he murmured with satisfaction, even as his body began to move in hers with slow, pleasure-giving strokes, making further thought on Maggi’s part impossible.
They fitted so well together, Adam’s hardness a perfect match for her warm softness, those slow movements driving her insane as she felt the pleasure building, rising, threatening to burst out of control.
‘Adam, I can’t—I—Adam…!’ She clung desperately to his shoulders as every part of her exploded, the pleasure, the aching, burning pleasure, almost too much to bear.
‘Yes, Magdalena,’ Adam groaned encouragingly. ‘Give to me, my darling. Fly, blackbird. Fly!’
She didn’t have any choice, possessed in every way possible as Adam’s mouth came down on hers, his tongue in harmony with the movements of his body.
She had thought her pleasure over, but it wasn’t so. Adam brought her to that peak twice more before his own body shuddered beyond his control, hard inside her now, moving, moving, until—The sensation that engulfed them both was deeper and stronger than anything Maggi had ever known before, and Adam’s cry of pleasure was almost one of pain as he joined her on her high plateau, his body shaking as he enjoyed their final moments of ecstasy.
They clung damply together in the aftermath, a tangle of arms and legs, hers so pale and fragile, his so tanned and strong, their breathing deep and ragged in the silence of the night.
Reality came back all too suddenly for Maggi, and she began to cry softly as an ache of another kind took over. This man was the reason why, when Mark had tried to rekindle their relationship two years ago, she hadn’t been able to respond, why he had finally fallen in love with Andrea. This man was the reason there could never be anyone else for her. This man was the reason she was destined to spend the rest of her life alone.
Because what had happened between them just now could never be repeated with someone else. Here, naked in each other’s arms, they could communicate in a way many people never did, could understand each other perfectly. Apart, fully clothed, they had nothing to say to each other.
‘Don’t move,’ Adam groaned into her neck as she would have done exactly that. ‘I like you being part of me. The other half of me!’
But she wasn’t, and never would be. Adam was only back in her life now because he wanted her to sing with him.
The tears were no longer silent and a sob choked at her throat, her whole body shaking with grief.
Adam raised his head to look into her face, frowning as he saw the river of tears that wet the paleness of her cheeks. His hand moved up to touch those tears, bringing the wetness of his fingertips to his mouth, tasting the salt there.
His eyes were the colour of slate as his gaze returned to her face. ‘I wish I could fool myself into thinking these are tears of happiness, that the intenseness of the pleasure we just shared has made you cry like it used to. But they aren’t, are they?’ he said evenly, in a statement rather than a question. ‘We haven’t done anything wrong, Magdalena. I’m still your husband; you’re still my wife.’
‘And you have Celia. And I have Mark.’ Once again she hoped Mark and Andrea would forgive her. She just felt so defenseless, lying here in Adam’s arms, their bodies still joined together.
Adam’s eyes glittered in the semi-darkness. ‘Mark’s been spreading his poison, has he?’ he grated.
‘Mark…?’ She frowned. ‘Oh, you mean because of Celia Mayes.’ Her brow cleared. ‘Mark hasn’t said anything to me about her.’ And, to give her friend his due, he hadn’t, even though he had obviously known about the other woman’s role in Adam’s life all along.
Mark would never deliberately hurt her. Whereas this man…
Or perhaps it hadn’t been deliberate three years ago? Perhaps Adam had hoped she would never know of his betrayal of their marriage with Sue Castle? He had underestimated the other woman’s determination where he was concerned.
Maggi had never fooled herself that the female singer had told her of her affair with Adam because she felt remorse over what had happened between them; Sue had obviously decided she liked her career linked to Adam’s, and any return by Maggi would have put an end to that. Oh, no, Maggi had never been naive enough to underestimate Sue’s motives in telling of her relationship with Adam. But that didn’t change the fact that Adam had betrayed her and their marriage vows.
Adam held her shoulders. ‘Then who else has been spreading such malicious rumours?’ he demanded.
‘No one,’ she answered him impatiently. ‘I overheard you and Mark talking at Celia’s house that day.’ It was very difficult to have this sort of conversation when their bodies were still joined in this intimate way! Although Adam didn’t seem to be having the problem with it that she was…!
‘Eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves—or other people!’ he bit out disgustedly. �
�And I learnt long ago not to believe everything I hear. I’m close to both Celia and Geoffrey, and godfather to their two sons. I absolutely adore those two little—’
‘I don’t want to know!’ Somehow she found the strength to push him away from her, feeling a moment of grief as his body left hers. ‘Your life, and who you have in it, is none of my business,’ she told him with cold dismissal as she rolled over to her side of the bed and sat up, conscious now of those silvery scars Adam had kissed during their lovemaking, quickly standing up to gather up her robe from where it lay across the bedroom chair, pulling it on and tightly fastening the belt before facing him again.
Her breath caught in her throat as she did so; he was so beautiful. So golden and tautly muscled, not an ounce of fat on his powerfully built body.
She closed her eyes—and her heart!—to the effects of that body. ‘I have to get back to the hospital.’
‘What happened just now?’ he demanded harshly.
She didn’t want to think about what had happened just now! Perhaps later, when she could be alone with the painful memories, but not at this moment, not in front of Adam.
She shrugged dismissively. ‘A natural response when one has brushed closely with death—’
‘I don’t accept that!’ he told her savagely as he stood up. ‘This had nothing to do with death—and everything to do with life. You—’
‘Exactly,’ she agreed abruptly. ‘We human beings have always used sex as a statement of our own immortality.’
‘Except that wasn’t sex, Magdalena,’ he said softly. ‘We made love. Beautifully orchestrated, unadulterated love.’
She stiffened at that last phrase; adultery was what Adam was good at. ‘You’re living in fantasy land, Adam, if you choose to believe that,’ she scorned to hide her pain. ‘It was good, well-practised sex! And if Mark had been the one to drive me back from the hospital earlier the two of us wouldn’t even be having this conversation!’
Adam was suddenly very still, dangerously so. ‘Are you saying that if Mark had driven you back here he would have been the one sharing your bed?’
‘Of course I’m saying that!’ she dismissed easily. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to shower before going back to the hospital.’ She turned her back on him and walked away.
As she took each step towards the bathroom she expected to be wrenched round by Adam and made to listen as he forced her to admit that their lovemaking hadn’t been the basic need she was insisting it was.
But she reached the bathroom without that happening, hardly able to believe her luck, glancing back at Adam once she reached the safety of the bathroom doorway. He wasn’t looking at her; in fact he was sitting on the side of the bed with his back towards her. Slumped would be a better way of describing him, his shoulders hunched over, his head bent.
She felt a moment’s remorse for the harsh things she had just said about their lovemaking. Then she determinedly dismissed that remorse; to admit, even accept, that they had made love would be to utterly destroy all the defences she had managed to build against him over the last three years. She needed those. Couldn’t survive on her own, without them.
She closed the door firmly behind her, pushing the bolt of the lock firmly into place. Not that she thought Adam would invade her privacy, not now. But she needed that barrier between them—needed the lock put back on her heart.
She ran the shower, standing beneath its cleansing cascade, washing the feel and taste of Adam from her body, refusing to cry the tears that would have mingled with that hot spray. She couldn’t cry now, wouldn’t be able to stop once she started.
Adam was fully dressed and sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee when she came downstairs twenty minutes later. He didn’t even glance at her as she strode into the room wearing fitted black denims and a cropped black jumper, standing up to woodenly pour her a cup of coffee from the freshly brewed pot that stood on the percolator.
Maggi didn’t care to ask how he had located the coffee or the cups. In fact, she didn’t care to talk at all. The expression on Adam’s face was one of complete unapproachability.
She sat down to drink the coffee, neither of them speaking. Because there were no words…
‘Perhaps you should go back to the hospital; I’ll drive you as soon as you’re ready.’ Adam was the one to finally break the silence, his voice cold and remote.
He wasn’t looking at her but at something on the kitchen wall over her left shoulder. A brief glance at that spot showed a line of tiles, one no different from another… Adam couldn’t even look at her!
‘Perhaps I should drive myself—’
‘Perhaps you should!’ He jumped in on her hesitant suggestion. ‘My being there will serve no purpose—except maybe to annoy you!’ he acknowledged hardly.
He was so distant, so totally removed from the man who had made love with her such a short time ago.
That was what she had wanted, wasn’t it? She had wanted him distanced, wanted him far away! Except—‘ I thought my father wanted to speak to you?’ She frowned.
Something flashed briefly in the dark grey of his eyes. Anger? Pain? Dismissal? She couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, the emotion was quickly masked, that unreadable expression firmly back in its place.
‘It was nothing important,’ he said coolly. ‘Perhaps you could tell your father that for me—that it’s not important. Exactly that,’ he added, as if coming to some sort of decision. ‘He’ll understand, I’m sure.’
Which was more than Maggi did. But Adam wasn’t about to explain anything, least of all to her. In fact, he looked as if talking to her at all was an effort! The sooner they went their separate ways the better!
But even so… ‘Daddy was so specific—’
‘Just give him the message, damn it!’ Adam stood up abruptly. ‘I told you, he’ll understand.’ He began to prowl up and down the kitchen.
And ‘prowl’ was the only way to accurately describe his brooding movements. Like a caged animal.
He was not in the best of moods for Maggi to get a sensible answer out of him, she readily admitted. But now that some of the shock of yesterday had worn off—and she desperately wanted to avoid even thinking about the two of them in bed together a short time ago!—she knew that Adam, and probably Adam alone, had the answers to her questions.
‘I don’t understand why Daddy went to see you yesterday.’ She gave a slow shake of her head.
‘There’s nothing to understand,’ Adam grated. ‘He was as upset as you obviously were about the newspapers. I think he imagined I had set you up too. Maybe he wanted me out of your life. I really don’t know, Magdalena; he collapsed before he got around to telling me why he was there.’
‘I see,’ Maggi said slowly, not altogether sure he was telling her the whole truth. Although it made sense; her father had obviously been upset yesterday morning about the newspapers, and he was protective enough of her to do something like that. Although there was still the puzzle of how her father had known where to find Adam…
Adam shook his head, his expression grim. ‘I doubt that you do. I doubt that you believe me about those photographs in the papers, either. I’m getting used to the fact that you don’t believe a word I say. Nevertheless, I’ll repeat what I said earlier—I did not have anything to do with the photographer being there the day before yesterday. I’ve been just as inundated with reporters as you have.’ He grimaced with feeling. ‘But you don’t have to believe that, either.’
‘I believe you.’ She was taken aback at his vehemence; he was seriously angry. He had been since she’d made that provocative statement concerning Mark. But what else was she supposed to do? Admit she hadn’t so much as been out with another man during the last three years, let alone wanted to go to bed with one? She couldn’t have left herself that vulnerable!
Even if it was true…
It was also true that as soon as Adam had lain down beside her on the bed earlier tonight she had known she wanted him. Just as if
none of the past had ever happened. As if all of those ‘what ifs’ had come true…
His mouth twisted. ‘I’m sure that’s supposed to give me some satisfaction—but it doesn’t!’ His eyes glittered flintily. ‘You’ll get your recording contract—your solo recording contract,’ he added pointedly. ‘If both of us refuse to work together they’ll offer you the solo contract that you want.’
Maggi frowned. ‘And is that what you’re saying you’ll do now?’
His jaw clenched. ‘Do you want me to put it down in black and white and sign the damned thing?’ he rasped savagely.
‘Of course not.’ She grimaced at his barely leashed anger.
‘Then what the hell do you want, Magdalena?’ he prompted. ‘Or is it that you still don’t believe me? Do you think I’ll go back on what I’ve just said—is that it?’
His capitulation seemed too good to be true; she admitted that. She had never known Adam to back off from a fight, and he had seemed so determined…
‘I can see that you do!’ he exploded, tired of waiting for her reply. ‘Fine,’ he snapped tautly, looking about the kitchen with narrowed eyes before spotting the notepad her mother always kept next to the refrigerator so that she could write down things to buy when she went shopping as she realised she needed them.
Adam picked up the notepad and pen, scribbling down a few impatient words before scrawling his signature along the bottom. ‘It may not be a legal document—’ he thrust the notepad at her ‘—but I’ll stand by my written word.’
Maggi held the pad with trembling fingers, almost afraid to look down and see what he had written.
Adam gave a scornful snort. ‘It says I’m out of your life, Magdalena, both professionally and personally. And once I’ve walked out that door it will be true. But until I have…’ He strode across the short distance that separated them, dragging her roughly into his arms. ‘You’re such a fool, Magdalena,’ he told her. ‘Such a cowardly fool!’
A Marriage to Remember Page 11