by A. R. Rend
Reaching into her clothes, she grabbed something there, and then whipped it out, pushing it toward Phillip.
“I rode, as hard, as fast, as direct as I could to meet with your mother,” said Alice. A wax-sealed and oiled leather message tube was held in her hand. “I threw myself down at her feet, as you see me now. In the middle of her camp. In front of her soldiers.
“I explained all the wrongs I had done to you, and sincerely asked her advice on how I could even begin to mend our marriage. I begged her just for a hint. Just a sentence on what I could do to start back down that road.”
Staring at the tube, Phillip reached up and took it from Alice.
“My mother came with me though I insisted she should not. I feared it would be ill for her health what I needed to do,” explained Alice. “Had, to do.
“Because I erred, Phillip, but I didn’t betray you. I’ve never been with another man in any way, other than you. I’ve never even kissed another man. But I let my foolish pride, my stubbornly stupid belief, get in my way. And I harmed you.”
Looking to the seal, Phillip saw it was his mother’s seal. The heiress to the house of Curis, general Clarissa Curis, had sealed this tube herself.
Alice had indeed gone to see his mother.
“Your mother didn’t know what to do with me and I refused to leave until she sent me away or told me anything of how to help heal our union,” Alice said, her voice starting to become a slight rasp. “Eventually, she wrote this letter, and told me to leave. Only then did I go. Leaving and coming straight back here to you. I have no idea what she wrote. It isn’t addressed to me, but you. But I pray it’s at least a chance for me to earn a fraction of your attention back.”
Frowning, Phillip considered how to proceed.
There was a soft tentative knock on his door.
Holding the tube, he turned and opened the door.
Bobbie was there with everything he asked for.
“The central table please,” Phillip said, stepping away. Moving toward Alice, he gathered her up with a hand resting on her hip. Leading her over to the chair, he held her there as Bobbie and Tonie brought everything in. They quickly finished up and fled.
Alice had kept her gaze on him the entire time. Never looking away from him.
“Please… please undress. Let’s get you cleaned up first,” Phillip murmured with a shake of his head.
He felt very confused at the moment, but he knew he needed to at least care for his wife. It was part of his duty as her husband.
Setting the tube down to one side, he grabbed up the sponges and started getting them into the hot water.
“I’ll tend to myself. Please, Phillip… read the letter,” Alice begged, working at getting out of her clothes. “It is either my salvation or damnation. I would prefer to know which way the die has been cast than wait any longer.”
Gently taking the sponge from his hand, the very naked Alice began to lightly scrub at herself with it, standing inside the empty foot tub.
She really went to see my mother.
All for the sake of me.
Last I heard she was quite a ways away. At the front lines.
That means Alice would have to have crossed into very hostile territory and put herself in danger.
All for… a scrap of a chance to somehow reach me, emotionally.
Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Phillip picked up the tube and then broke the seal with his thumb. As far as he could tell it’d been sealed by his mother and had been unbroken.
Removing the cap that was no longer secured, Phillip upended the tube and a letter slid out.
Taking it with his left hand, he set the tube down and began reading.
Dear son,
Your wife has ridden herself out to the war itself to end up as a lump of pleading, whimpering, begging flesh at my feet.
Listening to her empty herself of all the sins she’s believed she committed against you.
Large and small.
Once she was finished, she asked me for any way, hint, or idea I could provide to help her even achieve the smallest part of forgiveness on your part.
So that she could somehow begin to repair your marriage.
I don’t claim to understand the hearts of men. Though I do understand your father very well. And if you had anything of him, it is his soft and tender heart.
I cannot claim to be the perfect wife, and I’ve definitely hurt your father in the past. Where a small hurt can be magnified into something much larger.
And to him, often, the small hurts were the worst for him. Because I didn’t even know I committed them.
What I can say however, is your father always was able to correctly identify if the hurt was something intentional, or a lack of understanding. If it was a lack of understanding, well, you’re his son. I’m sure you remember those long talks he forced everyone to have.
If your wife neglected you out of ignorance, without betraying you, then maybe it’s worth giving her the possibility of your affection.
After all, you’ll be with her a very long time, my son. It hasn’t even been six months yet.
You yourself are bound to hurt her eventually as well, you know. May you have the same mercy you would expect her to have, for you.
Best wishes and love, my son,
Clarissa Curis
Sighing, Phillip re-read the letter once more.
It felt like a bucket of ice-water dumped over his head.
His righteous indignation, his anger, had all been blown out of him as easily as one might a candle.
All he was left with was a simmering resentment and depression for his situation.
Looking to Alice, he found she was just now finishing scrubbing her legs. Standing there naked before him, looking far more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her before.
She was watching him. Having likely never taken her eyes off him.
“It would seem my mother thinks you deserve salvation,” muttered Phillip, folding the letter up. Walking over to where the bath-robe was laid out, Phillip picked it up and then held it out for Alice.
Dropping the sponge into the now-dirty partially filled tub, she stepped out of it.
“Oh blessed father,” whispered Alice, putting her arms through the robe. “Will you grant me it then, Phillip? I’m not worthy of it, but I wish for it.”
“Sit,” Phillip said, pointing at the chair. Moving to the table, he found that tea had already been made, and a plate of biscuits had been put together as well.
He was fairly certain this was the tea he’d pre-set just in case someone dropped by and he was asked to host. All it had needed was hot water.
I owe someone a thank you.
Probably Milly.
Pouring the tea into the cup, he picked up the plate, and turned to Alice.
She’d done as instructed and was sitting in the chair.
Setting both the tea and biscuits down for her, he retreated a step and sat down on the sofa.
Taking a small sip of her drink, Alice still refused to look away from Phillip.
“Alice…”
“Nothing happened, Phillip. Nothing. It was improper to be alone with him. Just as you and Sophia both said,” Alice said after he paused. “But nothing happened, will never happen. I swear it. After I sent him away, after realizing you’d walked in on us talking, he sent many letters requesting to see me as well as messengers. I refused them all before I left on my trip.
“I wanted nothing to do with him and told him such. If he sends more letters and messengers, I will return them in the same fashion I did the ones previous.”
Putting a hand to his head, Phillip couldn’t bear to look at her. Instead he looked to the ground, his thoughts swirling and bubbling over one another.
He didn’t want to be moved. He wanted to hate her.
Wanted to dislike what she’d done and dismiss her plea.
“I’m falling in love with Lenore, Mim, and Milly,” Phillip said, cutting straight to t
he heart of the matter. Lifting his head, he looked to Alice.
“I understand,” Alice said without any hesitation and a nod of her head. “They’ve been paying you a lot more attention, listening to you, and generally spending more time with you. That’s not unexpected. It’s fully within what I thought might be the situation.”
“Is that so?” asked Phillip, quite curious.
“Yes. I accept it. It’s a situation I created. You came to me often. You tried to talk with me, to have lunch with me, to be with me. And I didn’t accept it. I erred,” declared Alice with some strength to her words. “Others took all that was offered to me and I foolishly lost out on. I… I can earn it back, Phillip. I know I can. I can show you that I care, and I want our marriage to work. I only need the smallest chance to do so.
“I’m not asking for you to throw yourself at me and profess your love. I’m only asking for a chance to show you I’m worthy of you.”
“And if I told you, you’ll never get that chance?” Phillip asked.
“I’d let your contract go to Sophia or Lenore,” Alice said, shaking her head. “You’re a good man, Phillip. I know I can be worthy of you, but if I’m not given even a chance, there’s nothing I can do to prove that. There’s no reason to torture you over it if you’re unwilling to give me that chance.”
“Fine, sign me over to Mim,” Phillip said, getting straight to the heart of it.
“I… okay. Sophia. I understand and will do so,” Alice said, getting to her feet.
“Wait, no. Wait,” Phillip said, holding his hands up.
Her reaction hadn’t been what he’d thought would happen.
If he was being honest with himself, he only said what he did because he didn’t believe her words.
“Wait,” Phillip said again, looking up at his wife. Who was looking back at him. Several tears trickled down from her eyes, one hand holding her teacup, the other her plate.
“I’ll sign it over, Phillip. I won’t burden you,” said Alice. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you.”
Damnit.
“Please… sit, down,” Phillip grumbled, motioning at the chair.
Alice didn’t do so. She watched him, her lower lip quivering slightly as she stood there.
“Please. Sit, Alice,” he tried again.
Slowly, Alice did so, looking like she wanted to leave the room instead.
“Don’t… sign me over,” Phillip said finally, feeling like he’d been defeated somehow. “We’ll… give it some time and see what happens. Would you be willing to sign me over in six months if we’re still unable to patch this?”
“Yes. I will. That’s not a concern,” Alice said. “To Sop-Mim, Lenore, or Milly. I’ll sign it regardless of what my mother thinks or says.”
Chewing at his lip, Phillip let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair.
“And what is it you want then? How do I give you this… chance?” Phillip asked.
“Have… lunch with me? Maybe talk? Dinner? Just… something? Where we can be alone in one another’s company? That’s all. I’d like that. Just… to be with you,” Alice said sincerely.
He wasn’t sure where it’d happened, or if she was just operating without her pride and ego at the moment, but the business-like and cold woman he’d married was gone.
A very unsure and scared young woman had replaced her. One who clearly didn’t have any idea of what to do, or how to even start, to get her husband back.
“You actually threw yourself down in front of my mother,” Phillip said with a bit of a smirk.
“Yes. Yes I did. I had no idea she was so big by the way. And your sister is just as tall,” Alice said with a bit of a surprised look on her face. “I mean, I knew the Curis family had a military bent but goodness.”
Laughing at that, Phillip couldn’t help himself. Nodding his head, he let out a slow breath.
“Yes. Father had often said he loved his big ol’oak tree. Mother never thought it was half as funny as we all did,” admitted Phillip. “Jamie thought it was a lot less funny when she suddenly got taller than Mother.”
“I do hope our children don’t come out as big as they do. Otherwise I worry my hips might split asunder,” Alice said with a shake of her head. “I’m not a large woman, Phillip Curis. You’re not allowed to put a giant in me.”
Snorting at that, then actually laughing, Phillip rolled his eyes.
“A giant, huh?” he asked, looking at Alice. “Pretty sure I don’t get much of a say in what happens despite what the general public would have you believe.”
“Phillip. Your family is huge! Please tell me your other sisters aren’t as large as your oldest,” Alice pleaded.
“Ah… no. They’re likely to be bigger when they get older. Bigger than Mom for sure,” Phillip said with a grin. “Curis family likes to grow’em big. Big ol’oak girls.”
“My poor womb,” Alice said and then laughed softly. “I hope you still think I’m attractive after I’m done pushing out giants.”
Grumbling good naturedly, Alice cuddled up in her bathrobe and then closed her eyes, leaning her head back on the chair.
“Curis-Rias giants. Going to split my poor insides in half. Come out holding onto my womb in one hand and my pride in the other,” continued Alice. “Going to be a mess afterward I know it.”
Against his wishes, against what he wanted, Phillip was actually truly laughing now.
Listening to Alice complain about “giants” was actually rather hilarious to him.
“Giants. My giants,” Alice muttered a final time before she went still in the chair.
Slowly, her grip on the teacup and her plate of biscuits relaxed.
Did… she just fall asleep?
Getting up, Phillip came over to her. A soft snore escaped her lips, confirming his thoughts.
Shaking his head, Phillip collected the teacup and plate of biscuits. Setting them down quietly on the table, he did his best to be silent. He wasn’t going to wake Alice.
To him it sounded like she’d been on a wild-breakneck ride to get to his mother, only to come back on another one.
Picking up the letter from his mother, he contemplated it.
Then he flipped it over to look at the back.
P.S. Matilda spoke to me after I wrote this letter. Apparently this was all Alice’s idea. She’s been a wreck for a while now and had no idea what to do.
My son… I’m not sure I could have done what your wife did.
Consider that.
Tapping the letter against his palm, Phillip decided to do just what his mother suggested. He’d consider everything.
Seventeen
The timid knock on his door drew Phillip out of his novel.
Sliding his bookmark into the page, he set it down on the table and then got up. All the while taking care to be as quiet as he could be.
Walking over to the door, he opened it and found Lenore there.
“Hey,” Lenore said with a smile, standing in the doorway.
Phillip smiled and stepped to the side, holding the door wide open.
“Hey there, come on in. Though you’ll need to be somewhat quiet. Alice is sleeping,” Phillip warned.
Lenore walked into his room, her head nodding somewhat woodenly.
“Ah, I see. I shouldn’t… be here if you finished with Alice and-”
Phillip laid a hand to Lenore’s shoulder and shut the door firmly, though quietly.
“She fell asleep in the chair. Upright. We did nothing but talk,” Phillip explained.
Walking around to the other side of Lenore, he dragged his fingertips along her shoulders.
“Oh. Oh! I understand. Did she tell you where she went?” Lenore asked, her skin on her neck and arms breaking out in goosebumps.
Phillip was delighted to see his effect on her.
“To see my mother, apparently. To beg her for insight into me,” Phillip answered, laying his hand to the inside of Lenore’s elbow and pulling her over to the table and where Ali
ce slept. “All for the sake of just being able to start over with me in our marriage. Not to forgive her, or give her precedence, but just for the sake of starting over.”
Walking Lenore up to the table, he gestured to her older sister.
Alice was snoring quietly in the chair, drool running down the corner of her mouth, and partially exposed as her robe had fallen open.
“Ah… Alice… you-” Lenore froze mid-sentence, one hand partly lifted to her mouth. “She looks wretched. What… happened?”
“She went through a war-zone to see my mother. Quite literally. Straight there, and then straight back,” Phillip said and then took Lenore over to the sofa. Sitting her down, he sat down next to her, and then pushed himself up into her side. Partly displacing her shoulder and arm till it was behind his back and pinned to the couch.
You can put it around me, or leave it there.
Your choice.
Sitting there, somewhat uncomfortably, Lenore hesitated for several seconds, then moved her arm up, putting it around his shoulders.
“I did remind Alice that I was waiting on a contract from you or Mim,” commented Phillip. “She accepted that. Said she’d free me if I truly wished to be free in six months. Conveniently, right around the end of the year for you.”
Lenore’s eyebrows tried to escape into her hair, her eyes widening.
“I… alright. That makes this significantly easier. So easy that I’m almost terrified to believe it,” Lenore said.
“Understandable, but, it’s not as if I couldn’t make her life hell for not following through,” Phillip said, leaning in towards Lenore.
Taking in a slow shaky breath, Lenore didn’t pull away at his advancement on her.
His relationship with Lenore was nearly the reverse to his with Mim. Where she chased him, he chased Lenore.
And that meant that just as Mim had kissed him, he wanted to kiss Lenore.
Squeaking softly, Lenore didn’t pull away even as Phillip pressed his lips to hers.
Kissing her for several seconds, Phillip finally pulled away, and then leaned back into his seat. Comfortably under Lenore’s arm.
Glancing to Alice, he found she was still quite asleep, snoring, and drooling.