by E. L. Todd
When I left the building and felt the fall air hit my face, I felt a little better, but the pain in the pit of my stomach was still there…and only getting worse. I also didn’t know what to do, because my home was his home—and there was nowhere else for me to go.
I didn’t want to be around Dax, and I didn’t know why.
I just…needed space.
I made it to the sidewalk and headed back to the office. I didn’t know what else to do. I was in no mood to work, but I didn’t want to go home either.
Dax called me.
I knew if I didn’t answer, he would just keep calling, so I took his call. “Hey, I just got a call from my boss. I have to get back to the office right away. I’ll see you later.”
“Alright.” There was hesitation in his voice, like he didn’t believe my story but wanted to. “I’ll see you at home, then.”
“Okay.”
“I love you.” He never said that when we got off the phone. We said it rarely, so it would mean more when he spoke it aloud. But now he said it like he needed assurance that we were okay.
I said it back, but I didn’t feel the way I usually did when I said it. I just said it to get him off my back, so I could take some time to figure out what had happened. “I love you too.”
I hung out at my desk until it was time to leave.
Charlie came by my cubicle. “I’m going to go home and change. Then we’ll be right over there.”
“Great.” I gave him a forced smile but didn’t rise from my chair.
He lingered, like he saw through the façade. “Carson, you alright?”
“Oh yeah. The prime minister is being a bitch, that’s all. I’ll see you at my place in a bit.” I almost wanted to call the whole thing off, but that would mean I’d have to explain why, and I wasn’t sure how I felt at that moment.
Charlie continued to study me, but his concerns must’ve been assuaged because he said, “Alright. See you soon.” With his satchel over his shoulder, he left the office and disappeared into the elevator.
When he was gone, I released a painful sigh. I really wished game night weren’t happening tonight and we could just reschedule. But did I really need to reschedule it? I wasn’t even sure what I was upset about. There was nothing wrong with signing a prenup. He had those assets before we met, and it only made sense for him to protect them. I really didn’t care at all.
But that meeting didn’t feel right.
It made me feel…insignificant.
I couldn’t explain it. A room full of ten lawyers pushing mounds and mounds of paperwork at me? How could I possibly need to sign that many documents? Dax didn’t even give me a warning about it. He didn’t send me the paperwork beforehand so I could actually read what I was signing. He didn’t tell me to get a lawyer, who was probably someone I should’ve brought with me.
I was a little guy. He was a corporation.
He crushed me.
I knew it was just business, nothing personal, but it didn’t feel like an arrangement between a future husband and wife.
It felt like a demolition.
When I stepped into the penthouse, they were already there. Matt was talking to Kat, probably trying to keep her preoccupied so she wouldn’t focus on Charlie and Denise.
They all turned to look at me when the elevator beeped.
“What took you so long?” Charlie asked. “What kind of host invites everybody over for game night without being here?”
Dax was in the kitchen getting the appetizers ready, and when he heard that I was in the penthouse, he stopped what he was doing and came straight to me. Now, he was in jeans and a shirt, looking like a regular person instead of the suit he’d been a few hours ago.
He stood in front of me and stared, took in the features of my face like he was afraid something had changed.
I met his look, but I didn’t know what to say.
He didn’t say anything either.
The gang looked back and forth at us as they picked up on the strange energy. Charlie addressed it. “Everything alright?”
I finally moved into Dax and placed a kiss on his lips. I didn’t feel good doing it, just the way I didn’t feel good saying I love you on the phone earlier.
His affection was muted too, like he could feel how frozen my lips were.
I took a seat on the floor in front of the armchairs. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Let’s get the food on the table and start the first game. What should we play?”
Dax continued to stare at me, his gaze burning into the side of my face like he didn’t care that my friends were standing there watching the scene.
It was awkward for everybody because they all knew something was wrong, but they went through the motions and took seats around the coffee table.
Dax walked away and returned to the kitchen to grab appetizers to put out.
I positioned myself across from Charlie and kept my eyes down.
Dax was still out of earshot, so Charlie asked, “What’s going on? Did something happen today?”
Kat leaned close and placed her hand on my arm. “Are you guys fighting?”
I saw Dax leave the kitchen and start to return to the living room. “We’ll talk about it later.” I grabbed the game board and set it on the table. “I know Monopoly is old, but it’s a classic.”
Dax sat on the floor and leaned against the couch on another side of the table. He set down his beer and placed the bowls of chips and pretzels on the surface. His eyes were on me again, boring into my face as he stared at me.
Charlie went along with what I said. “Monopoly sounds good. Let’s do it.”
Game night didn’t have its usual fun energy. We seemed to be going through the motions, but Charlie and Matt did their best to keep things moving along like there was no tension in the room.
Dax barely said two words. If he didn’t know I was upset before, he definitely knew now.
As time went on, I felt worse.
I felt more uncomfortable being near him.
Dax stared at my face anytime he wasn’t participating in the game, like he wanted me to know that I was the only thing on his mind right now, that there was more he wanted to say but couldn’t until everybody left.
I didn’t look at him at all.
I felt like I didn’t know him anymore.
Charlie slid the dice toward me. “You’re up, Carson.”
I stared at the dice on the table without taking them. I’d officially run out of energy, pretending everything was fine. The shock of the event had worn off, and my feelings started to become clear.
They got really quiet, like they knew I was about to say something. Dax’s gaze was on me with laser focus.
“I don’t think I can do this.” I dropped my gaze as I felt my eyes start to water. I was in pain for a lot of reasons, but the idea of losing him hurt the most.
Dax took a deep breath, just the sound alone showing all his pain. “Sweetheart, when I talked to you about the prenup, you said you were fine—”
“It’s not about the prenup.” I took a breath and let my wet eyes become dry again. I lifted my chin and looked at him, my friends absolutely still like they hoped we wouldn’t be able to see them if they didn’t move.
His voice came out as a whisper. “Then what is it?”
I turned my head to look at him, to see the fear in his eyes. “I thought I was going to sign a two-page document that I could quickly read through. Instead, you hit me with a team of ten lawyers and notaries serving me stacks of paperwork like we were in court and you were suing me.”
He sighed quietly. “My sister was in charge of all that. Since half the company is hers, she wants to make sure there’s no chance that—”
“And I totally understand that. I don’t care about your money. I don’t want it. But I just…felt so insignificant. I felt like a weak person facing off against a corporation I couldn’t possibly beat. It was dirty, the way the paperwork was served to me without me even having an opportunity
to read it or understand what I was signing. Prenups are ten pages at most, Dax. Why did I need to sign two-thousand-pages’ worth of paperwork?”
Everyone’s eyes shifted back and forth as they watched us talk.
Dax was quiet as he considered his answer. “Because the corporation owns a lot of different assets in all different facets—”
“Why didn’t you explain that to me? Why weren’t there just two pieces of paper that said everything that’s yours remains yours? Why did you let me walk in there and look like an idiot while I was ganged up on by a bunch of suits?”
“You weren’t ganged up on—”
“This was supposed to be between you and me, husband and wife, along with a lawyer and a couple pieces of paper. This didn’t feel intimate at all. This was a sterile conquering. You didn’t even tell me to bring my lawyer.”
“I didn’t know it would be that extensive—”
“Or you didn’t want me to have a chance to even look at anything. Dax, I live in the world of corporate greed, and I know exactly how these situations play out. I have less power than you, so you abused your power over me to get everything you wanted without even bothering to explain what I was signing. You took advantage of me.”
He shook his head, his eyes becoming more distressed. “It wasn’t like that.”
“It was exactly like that,” I snapped. “We both know I couldn’t care less about your money, that I love you despite your wealth, not because of it. I wasn’t offended when you asked me to sign it because it’s nothing personal. But this behavior indicates that you don’t trust me at all, that you want me to sign my life away without even giving me any transparency at all.” I couldn’t sit still anymore, and I got to my feet because I needed to move; I needed to step away so everyone wasn’t so close to me.
Dax was on his feet quickly, then came after me. “Let’s just forget the prenup, alright? I’ll have it voided tomorrow.”
“It was never about the prenup, and you know that.”
“Well, here’s me being transparent. Here’s me shredding all of that to be with you. Even if you took all my money someday, it would still be worth it to be with you now. So let’s just forget it—”
“I’ve lived in this world since I graduated college, and being in that environment just reminds me why I hate it so much. Money is the root of all evil, and look what it did to us.”
He stood in front of me with his hands squeezed tightly into fists, a terrified look in his eyes. “It’s done nothing to us. I’m sorry how that was handled, but Renee is pulling the strings here—not me.”
“I’m not marrying Renee. I’m marrying you. Why is she the one orchestrating all this?” I raised my voice as I became angrier. “Why were you sitting across the table from me instead of beside me? Don’t you see what happened? We were enemies.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what happened.”
“That was exactly what happened. I don’t want to live in this world. I don’t want to be married to a man who lives his life this way. Who serves his fiancée mounds of paperwork like that? What did you even have me sign?”
He came closer to me. “Look, that was Renee protecting her assets. It doesn’t have anything to do with us.”
“You could’ve met with me first and told me everything in those documents, and I would’ve believed you. You could have outlined what happens in the event you die and I survive you. You could’ve told me how our wealth would be handed down to our children, if I would be entitled to your life insurance if you got hit by a bus, but I don’t know any of that because it’s buried in a mountain of paperwork. There was no conversation. Not a single word.”
“Alright.” He breathed hard like he’d just run a mile, wore a look full of despair, like he didn’t know how to handle this situation. “Let’s start over. We’ll go through everything together—”
“You shouldn’t have to do that just because I requested it. You should’ve done that in the first place. Didn’t you think we should talk about this? No. You completely took control and didn’t think I was important enough to be part of the conversation.”
“I’m telling you, it wasn’t like that. I wouldn’t even have asked you to sign anything if Renee didn’t make me.” All the veins in his arm started to pop, along with the ones in his neck. He threw his arms down in ferocity. “Don’t let this divide us. You know I love you and trust you. I’ll resign from the company and sign over all my shares to my sister tomorrow, and we can go live in a regular apartment with regular lives. Nothing is more important to me in this world than you.”
I dropped my chin, my eyes becoming moist once again.
“Sweetheart, please.”
My hands moved to my hips, and I closed my eyes, feeling the tears drip down my cheeks. “This is always going to be a problem, isn’t it?”
He was quiet.
“You lied about who you were because you didn’t trust me to know that you were a billionaire. Now, you’re having all these clandestine meetings behind my back and shoving mountains of paperwork at me that you expect me to sign with no questions asked. You constantly expect me to trust you, but you never trust me.” I lifted my gaze and stared at him, no longer fighting the tears that couldn’t be stopped.
“You are the person I trust most in this world—”
“Well, you don’t show it very well,” I snapped. “You asked me to give up my job for you. I’ve made compromises for this relationship, really big compromises, and then you do me dirty like that.”
“I didn’t do you dirty—”
“I’m tired of being in a relationship where I’m always getting the short end of the stick. I’m tired of feeling like the one at the mercy of your power.”
His face began to flush, and a moist sheen covered his eyes.
“I’m tired of this relationship being complicated because of who you are. I forgave your lie and moved on because I love you, but this is always going to come between us. Even if we get married and move forward, this situation is always gonna pop back up.”
“No. What’s mine is yours—”
“No, it’s not. What happens if you die? Do I inherit your ownership of the company? Or does it go back to your sister? What about if we have kids? The fact that I don’t know any of this and you expect me to sign off like I do is a slap in the face.”
He stood there in silence as he struggled to find a response. Everything was happening so fast, and he had an entire audience there to watch the scene unfold. “We have established that I haven’t handled this well. I’m telling you, Renee was pulling the strings of this whole thing. Let’s go back to the office tomorrow and start over.”
He didn’t get it. “It shouldn’t be this hard to be with somebody.”
His eyes started to fall when he understood where this conversation was headed.
“It shouldn’t be this complicated.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s just not meant to be…” There was no doubt that I loved him. I loved him so much, but this relationship had been a roller coaster since the beginning. “Our relationship started on a lie, and then when we got here, you start our marriage with deception. It doesn’t feel right anymore.”
Dax was absolutely still, his eyes wide with disbelief. He continued to breathe through the pain that weighed down his shoulders and brought him flat against the earth. Our eye contact seemed to be too painful for him because he dropped his gaze and ran his hand across his jawline.
When I’d woken up that morning, the sky was blue and it was a beautiful day. The leaves in Central Park were turning brown and red as the season deepened. But once I stepped into that office, everything changed.
“Sweetheart…” He raised his gaze to look at me again, his eyes reflected the light of the lamp behind me. “Don’t do this. I didn’t even want a prenup in the first place. I don’t want it, not because I’m an idiot who doesn’t learn from my mistakes, but because I have absolute faith that we will be toget
her forever. I said those words to my sister, but they weren’t enough to make her feel better. Yes, all that paperwork was a corporate stunt, but I had nothing to do with it. And I don’t even know all the details of that prenup because I really don’t care what it says.”
I stepped back because everything had shattered for me already. This penthouse didn’t feel like my home. This man didn’t feel like my fiancé. I’d spent a lot of my time trying to make this work, and the truth was, it was never meant to be. “This is why rich people only marry rich people. It’s much easier that way.”
He shook his head. “We belong together. You know that.”
“If we belong together, it shouldn’t be this hard. We’ve been trying to make it work and have never been successful.”
“Well, this time, we will be successful,” he said firmly.
“I don’t feel the same way anymore, Dax.” I couldn’t look at him. The moment was too painful to experience in the present, so I pulled away to protect both my heart and mind.
It was quiet for a long time.
My arms crossed over my chest, and I stepped farther away. All my stuff was there because it was my home, but I suddenly felt like it wasn’t my home at all. I couldn’t stay there another night. “I should go.”
Dax didn’t fight for me, either because he didn’t want to or because it wouldn’t make a difference. He backed away and gave me space.
Charlie and everyone else got up from the floor. They came toward me so they could walk me out. Charlie hit the button for the elevator; Kat placed her hand on my arm.
Like it was too hard to watch me, Dax turned around completely and left the living room. He moved to the dining table where there was a view of the city and took a seat. His shoulders sank with weakness. His eyes stared out the window and never looked back at me.
I’d forgotten about the ring on my left hand because it had felt right from the moment I put it on, like it was a part of my skin at this point. But I pulled it off my left hand and set it on the coffee table next to the game board and bowl of chips.
I turned away and stepped into the elevator with my friends. I stood in the middle and faced Dax, looking at him for the last time.