by A. C. Thomas
Theo barely noticed where they were headed until another door shut behind him, this time with a generous inch to spare. Jun released his wrist, and Theo shook his head to get it out of the clouds.
Jun took a step into his bedchamber, tucking his Honor hand into a fist as he held up the pad with the other. “Show me.”
Suppressing a shiver at the memory of those words in this room, Theo rolled his lips in his teeth against a smile. He must not have been entirely successful, judging by the flash of heat in Jun’s face. Jun shut it down with visible effort, and his expression went hard and cold once again.
“Sometime today, Doctor.”
It wasn’t an endearment, not really. More a statement of fact, the use of Theo’s academic title. But that didn’t stop his heart from doing a happy little skip as he took the pad and pulled up his translations. “I’ve been working on this passage, and it seems to be part of the notes for some kind of schematic—for an extremely large barrier field. Impossibly large. The notes express concern over catastrophic failure.”
Jun nodded as though this was no surprise, every line of his body tight with impatience as Theo continued.
“The real giddypony of it is that even once I have translated a passage, it still appears to be in some sort of code.”
Jun’s forehead scrunched as he mouthed giddypony, then waved his hand for Theo to go on—something that had so rarely happened to him that he did a little wriggle of excitement.
“Yes, so, as I said, there’s a secondary code. But luckily, it was the work of a few hours for me to open it up and begin to parse my way through—”
He made an indignant sound as Jun seized the pad and proceeded to scroll furiously. He then stopped and frowned at Theo menacingly.
Which, really, ought not to have the tightening effect upon his trousers that it did, but, alas.
“You cracked the code?”
Theo fell back a step as Jun advanced, wielding the pad like a weapon. “Well, yes. It was quite a twister, but I muddled my way through, which, you’ll be pleased to know, should help me accelerate the rest of the translation.”
Jun did not appear particularly pleased to know that. He appeared irate. Volatile. Dangerous. “There is no way you cracked this code in a few hours.”
Despite the flat, even delivery, Theo still heard a familiar and unwelcome emphasis on the word “you.” He drew himself up to the same posture he used when confronted with skeptics in his field. “There is one particular manner in which I cracked this code, and it was the method that I used. You’re welcome, by the way.”
The expression on Jun’s face was not particularly thankful as he tucked the pad in his pocket and stepped toe-to-toe with Theo, using his extra inches of height to his advantage. “Who are you?”
Offering a smile didn’t seem to have any effect on Jun’s intimidating stance, but Theo gave his best effort anyway. “I believe we have already been introduced, Captain Park. And made each other’s acquaintance. Quite well, as a matter of fact.”
The breath shot from his lungs as Jun grabbed the front of his shirt and lifted him up on his toes with a snarl. “Who do you work for?”
Slowly, carefully, Theo wrapped his hands around Jun’s fist, lightly tracing the spill of ink across his knuckles as he blinked up into his face. “Technically, I’m still employed by the Department of Linguistics, but in actuality, I appear to be working for you.”
He gasped, tilting his head with the motion as Jun shot one hand out to lightly circle his throat, two fingers pressed to his pulse.
This close, Theo could see that his irises weren’t black, not really. They were closer to the swirling dark of space, lit by the burning wreckage of stars all around them. Not flat black at all, but limitless. Drawing Theo irresistibly in as Jun growled low in his chest, “Are you lying?”
Theo swallowed against the hand over his throat, rubbed his thumb softly across the knob of bone at Jun’s thick wrist. There was no pressure on his air supply, but his voice rasped nonetheless. “I speak only the truth, Captain.”
Jun’s face struggled through anger and confusion before finally settling upon astonishment.
He lowered Theo’s heels to the floor. Flattening his grip on his shirtfront, he slid a palm across his chest and cupped his shoulder. “You’re not lying.”
Theo would have shaken his head were it not still held in place by the gentle grasp of Jun’s rough, warm hand gliding up his jaw to frame his face. “No. I’m not.”
Jun’s lips parted as if to speak, but nothing came. His gaze fell to Theo’s lips instead, his nostrils flaring as his brows drew together. “You cracked the code I’ve been working on for two years.” His growl had fallen away, leaving his voice soft and low. “By yourself. In a day.”
Theo squirmed a bit under his scrutiny, accustomed to the irritation of his peers when he sailed ahead on some project they seemed to struggle with. “Yes. It would appear so. I’m terribly sorry if—”
Shaking his head slowly, Jun grazed the broad pad of his thumb just below Theo’s bottom lip and whispered softly, “You’re astonishing.”
Oh.
That.
Well.
Something rattled loose in Theo’s chest beneath Jun’s honest regard, thumping madly against his ribs, bounding free and unfettered for the first time.
His skin burned with the force of his blush, sneaking down his hairline all the way to his chest, surely radiating heat beneath Jun’s hand. “Oh, no. I simply worked out the pattern through cross-analyzing the languages chosen, and—”
Jun cupped the back of Theo’s head, fingers gentle in his hair, and angled his face up to meet dark, thoughtful eyes. “Theo. Stop.”
With a click of his teeth, Theo shut his mouth, his skin still burning as his hands fluttered in the scant space between their bodies.
Gently massaging Theo’s scalp, Jun pressed their foreheads together for a brief, endless moment. His warm breath battered Theo’s parted lips with a heavy sigh, and then he released him and stepped back. “You’re amazing. Thank you.”
If Theo’s chin had lifted, just a little, they could have kissed. Easy, simple.
Impossible.
He burned with the absence of it. The heavy weight of longing held him captive in Jun’s arms.
Without Jun to hold him up, Theo slumped back against the wall. “It was nothing, really. I—”
Some of the growl came back into June voice as he stared him down, stars still burning in his deep-space eyes. “No. It was not nothing.”
He pulled the pad out of his pocket and tapped on the deactivated screen insistently, his face as youthful and open as Theo had ever seen it. “Theo, this could—you could be saving countless lives with this. You have no idea.”
Theo brushed the tips of his fingers over Jun’s tight knuckles as he gestured at the pad. “Then, tell me, Jun. I could have plenty of ideas if you would just let me help.”
Jun gave the pad back to Theo but kept hold of it when Theo tried to tug it free. He wrapped his fingers over Theo’s on the pad, his touch light and warm and reaching all the way down into the center of Theo’s loneliness. “I know you could. I’m beginning to suspect there may be nothing you can’t do. But this isn’t something you want to be involved in; trust me.”
Theo hooked Jun’s pinky with his own and held tight when Jun started to retreat, capturing his gaze with a rare serious expression.
“I think you should let me decide that for myself, Captain.”
Chapter Fourteen
Jun was ready to pace out of his skin.
Three days and no further progress. The first day had been spent in the rare effervescence of building hope, the second in slowly dawning frustration, and the third in a state of impotent rage that left his section of the ship largely unoccupied.
Except for Theo.
Undeterred by Jun’s black mood, Theo simply continued to wander in and out of Jun’s personal space, either maintaining a meandering monolog
ue or studying his translations quietly while every inch of his body jostled with excess energy.
Until very recently, Jun had been unaware that it was even possible for a person to fidget with their elbows.
There did not seem to be a single part of his body that Theo was unable to fidget.
It did not help with Jun’s efforts to pretend he didn’t notice the way Theo had commandeered Jun’s bed and lay sprawled across it like an offering.
Which was, truly, an enormous effort on Jun’s part.
Theo yanked his head up from where he had been staring down at his pad and spat out the lock of hair he’d been noisily sucking. He scrambled onto his knees.
His shirt was rumpled, from where he’d been spread out on his belly across the mattress, and askew, revealing the pale blade of a hip bone jutting up over his trousers.
Jun found it difficult to look away from the scant three inches of unknowingly bared skin.
Which was ridiculous.
He could go to any station and find acres of flesh on display if he wanted, day or night. Could pull up a vid on the stream of anyone willing to do practically anything in the nude. It was easily, readily accessible, at all times. Jun had never bothered with or been particularly interested in any of that. It was cheap and easy and so omnipresent that he’d grown desensitized to it.
There was just something about the combination of Theo’s modest manner of dress and his cavalier attitude toward his own nudity that struck Jun as highly erotic.
Inconveniently so.
Theo’s shirt was buttoned up to the base of his throat. As he tugged at the hem, the top button let loose quietly and unceremoniously, and the placket fell aside, revealing a hint of delicate collarbone.
Jun wanted to press his teeth just there. He wanted to hold Theo down and lick every beautiful inch of skin beneath that prim clothing. He wanted to fuck him deep and slow for hours until he broke down and cried. He just. Wanted.
Hellaciously inconvenient.
Jun didn’t want things. It was always a bad idea, and he knew better than that, now. Wanting led to craving led to needing, and Jun didn’t have time for any of those in his life.
A man on borrowed time didn’t fall in love. That would be incredibly stupid, and incredibly selfish. Jun just needed to try harder to ignore the distant roar of feelings coming for him from the depths of his heart.
Theo’s lips were slick from his distressing habit of chewing on his hair. Jun couldn’t help but compare them to the way they had looked after swallowing him down as though Theo was made for it.
Delicious. They looked delicious.
Kissable.
The most annoying thing was, Jun had never particularly enjoyed kissing.
It was always a means to an end. It could be pleasant enough, with the right partner, but it just hadn’t appealed to him as an act in and of itself.
Until Theo.
Until now.
Now, it was never far from his mind.
Just kissing.
It had been an impulse, to forbid it as a ground rule. A last-ditch effort to protect the heart Theo wore on his delicately embroidered sleeve. A mark of delineation between the trappings of an actual relationship and…this.
Whatever mess this was between them.
The magnetism Jun could not deny, his dragging heels leaving scuffmarks on the floor as he was pulled closer and closer.
There could be no deeper emotions involved, no attachment formed. Jun knew where that ended—with a load of heartbreak for sweet Theo and another gallon of guilt for his own ever-deepening well.
He was doing the right thing, keeping his distance.
Maintaining the walls he’d built around his heart, brick by careful, painful brick.
Walls that shook beneath the impact of every sunny smile and coquettish glance through golden lashes.
Walls that seemed significantly less solid now than they had a week ago.
It was time to fortify them again, reinforce them with stern words and harsh expressions, until Theo stopped trying to chip his way inside.
It was the right thing to do.
So why did Jun want nothing more than to pull the last clinging strands of hair away from those rose-petal lips and kiss Theo until he swooned?
To knock him backward on the bed until he blinked up at him with wide, startled eyes and reached up for him with elegant hands?
Why did Jun want to kiss those pale, unblemished hands like some mythical knight? Shower him with flowers like the Core-based tales of courtly love his mother had told him as a child?
Because Jun was an idiot, apparently.
A fully rusted idiot.
Those rose-petal lips twisted into a frown as Theo planted one hand on his hip, gesturing with the pad.
“—aptain. Jun! It’s all very well to demand results when you have no intention of actually listening to them!”
Jun guiltily released the little wire star he kept in his pocket to roll between his fingers while he was lost in thought.
He hadn’t kept it for sentimental reasons.
There was no sentiment to be had.
It just happened to be the right size and shape. That was all.
He would probably toss it in the incinerator tomorrow.
Along with the embroidered handkerchief he’d carefully washed and tucked away. The initials were starting to come loose, anyway, from Jun rubbing his thumb over them.
Giving Theo his full attention, Jun cleared his throat, crossed his arms, and leaned back in his chair, knees splayed. “Proceed.”
Jun would have to ignore the way Theo mimicked his deeper voice with a little sneer of his rosebud lips, murmuring the word back to himself before continuing.
He would have to ignore the way it made his body buzz and hands ache, wanting to reach out and grab Theo by those skinny arms. To throw him on the bed and show him the meaning of the word “proceed.”
To have Theo gasping and begging beneath him, stripped down to his most essential self. As brilliant and beautiful as any star.
Jun’s fingers dug trenches into his triceps as he restrained himself, listening intently to the lilting tenor of Theo’s voice as he chattered a mile a minute.
“As I was saying, this word occurs multiple times throughout this passage, and I couldn’t quite make it out. I was thinking that it couldn’t be ‘rock,’ yet that was what it said, and that doesn’t make any sense at all, does it? Not in the context of the phrase. But—”
He broke off to tap furiously on the pad, brow scrunched low as his loosely buttoned shirt started to slip unnoticed down the crest of his shoulder. Jun swallowed against a suddenly dry throat at the sight. He could envision him in candlelight, wearing nothing but that shirt, shoulder decorated with marks in the shape of Jun’s mouth.
He nearly fell out of his chair when Theo exploded into motion, limbs flailing in every direction as he scrambled off the bed and trampled over Jun to get to the door. “Mineral! Of course it means mineral! I need to access my notes on the bridge.”
He cast an irritated glance behind him as he paused in the open doorway, hair sticking up on one side and shirt still twisted around his waist. He looked edible. He looked like something that was going to eat Jun alive from the inside out. “Please get a wiggle on, Jun; we have work to do!”
Jun followed him to the hallway and watched as Theo trotted to the lift, still tapping at his pad and muttering to himself and generally being a beautiful, oblivious, brilliant menace. And Jun…just.
Wanted.
Craved.
Needed.
Lethally inconvenient.
Chapter Fifteen
Theo shuffled through his notes, ignoring the papers that flew and fluttered to the floor of the bridge until he found what he was searching for. “It appears to be some sort of recipe. Only, instead of dry goods, it calls for powdered minerals. Oh, on second consideration, it isn’t a recipe at all. It’s a chemical formula. Unfortunately, quite outside
the realm of my expertise.”
Jun took the pad from under Theo’s arm and quickly scanned the translated Standard.
Peering over his shoulder, Theo had to rise up onto his toes in order to see the screen. He pointed at a sentence that had given him particular trouble, riddled with modern language difficult to translate from ancient text. “See, here it says something about an excessive amount of tantalum. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but that’s a mineral that’s been banned in the Core.”
Jun, still focused on the translation, made a short, stilted bob of his head that might have been intended as a nod. “Yes, I know what it is. Keep talking.”
It took concerted effort not to wriggle with joy over hearing those words in Jun’s voice. “Well, isn’t it lovely to hear that for once rather than the reverse? Alright, then, there’s this word, which I am unfamiliar with, but I could surmise from the context to be another type of mineral. I’m sure Ari could tell me everything about the blasted rock from its weight to its favorite way to take tea, but I’m at a bit of a loss. We could search for it on your stream to find out more about it.”
Theo’s heart stopped in his chest, then picked up double time when Jun reached for his hand. Holding Theo’s hand in his, he jabbed Theo’s finger at the pad.
“Point it out to me.”
After underscoring the word in question, Theo then turned his hand to circle Jun’s wrist lightly, just to hold him for a moment while he was too distracted to notice the presumption.
Jun cursed softly in Patch, knuckles whitening as his grip tightened on the pad to the point that Theo began to worry for the quartz screen.
Jun held it back out to Theo, breaking Theo’s hold on his wrist. He wiped a hand down his face with a long, shaky inhale, and then returned to his station and flicked on the coms. “Crew to the bridge. Now.”
Theo followed just behind his heels, bursting with curiosity. “It means something significant to you, doesn’t it? I’ve made a bit of a breakthrough in whatever you are planning. I knew I would prove a valuable member of your endeavors. If you would share more about it with me, I could be an even greater benefit.”