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by S. J. Morgan

  ‘I didn’t realise this place existed,’ I said, once the silence got too much for me.

  ‘And why would you?’

  ‘It’s...good, though,’ I said. ‘Friendly. Well-equipped.’

  ‘That’s the point of it, I guess.’ He edged closer to me, his thighs wide and meaty in their leather pants.

  ‘Shame things didn’t work out back at the flat,’ he said. ‘I thought we were doing all right, the four of us.’

  ‘Mm.’

  Having him so close was making me nervous. I was cornered – sitting on his turf with his bunch of buddies, no way of pissing off out of there without their say-so and their petrol.

  ‘I always hoped we’d get along, you and me,’ Minto said. ‘I got the impression you were the sort I could do business with.’

  ‘Business?’

  ‘You’ve got it going on up here,’ I said tapping his temple. ‘You know what’s what.’

  This was certainly a new angle from him. ‘Oh, I dunno,’ I said. ‘I’m just a regular –’

  ‘We could use someone like you. And that’s the real shame of it,’ he said.

  I didn’t like the way this discussion was going. Last week, I was Public Enemy Number One as far as Minto was concerned. Why had I suddenly become the creamy froth on his pint of stout?

  ‘Well you know how it is once you’ve made a decision’ I said. ‘Now I’ve got the new place sorted, I’m kind of ready to move on.’

  ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘And it’s not like the new place is a million miles away, is it?’

  He looked me in the eye and smiled.

  ‘I don’t suppose I’ll be around much,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a few irons in the fire, work-wise. That’ll be the end of my free time.’ I looked away, hoping it’d be the end of the conversation.

  ‘What sort of work you looking for?’

  ‘I’m not fussy. So long as it pays well.’ I could have bitten off my tongue as soon as I said it.

  ‘It seems to me, Alec, you have a few choices. You can go and work in some shit job in the council or wherever, toe-ing the line and pushing the corporate pen, making just about enough to live on.’ He leaned forward again and lowered his voice. ‘Or you could choose a better path; earn what you’re really worth.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose so but –’

  ‘I’ve got contacts, see; I could get you some well-paid work just like that,’ he said, clicking his fingers. ‘We have...import, export opportunities, for instance. Not just here but all over the world. The sky’s the fucking limit, Alec.’

  ‘You seem to have plenty of people lending a hand though,’ I said. ‘Can’t imagine you’d need someone like me.’

  He gave a low laugh. ‘I don’t need you, Alec,’ he said. ‘But I could use you. I know we haven’t had a great start but you’re not stupid.’ He paused, like he was deep in thought. ‘You know you’d be better off working with me than against me, don’t you?’

  And there it was again – just like Stobes said – better to have Minto as a friend than an enemy.

  In another life, maybe I’d have been tempted. After all, what chance would I have for making any decent dosh? But I couldn’t live with the stuff I knew Minto was involved in.

  ‘Is it Sindy?’ he said, watching me.

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘I get the feeling you don’t approve.’

  I shrugged. ‘I…don’t know much about it. I mean...what do you want me to say?’

  He nodded, almost respectfully. ‘Sindy does all right. She knows how things would be if she didn’t have me watching out for her.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘Let me ask you something, Alec,’ he said, leaning back and pushing his hands into his armpits. ‘Do you think the world out there is full of people doing the right thing? It isn’t. It’s full of people creaming off their share. It’s full of vultures making a fast buck, getting what they can for as little as they can. All these high ideals of yours, these ideas you have to work hard with decent people. It’s all bullshit. And I’ll tell you why – it’s because every place, every company is filled with people taking their own cut. It doesn’t matter where you work there’ll always be people lining their own pockets. And all the time, you won’t be the one making the big bucks. The people making the megabucks will be the ones working with people like me. Being part of a brotherhood allows you to share the love, you see, Alec.’ He stabbed a finger into my chest. ‘I help you, you help me. And, I tell you what, I’ve got a lot more love to splash around than most people. You might not like the dirty world you see me inhabiting, Mr Clean-Cut Johnston, but it’s the real world. It’s the way things are. So, you can either snaffle about at the bottom of a flashy, shiny ladder, or you can hack your way up a rickety one where you can enjoy the spoils and make the most of being at the top. What you see here is nothing,’ he said, easing back in his seat again. His arms rested on the back of the sofa – he looked very satisfied with his lot. ‘What you see here is a small shard of a very big iceberg.’

  ‘Yeah?’ I said, reaching for my glass. ‘I’ve always tried to avoid hitting icebergs.’

  Minto chortled and slapped his leathery thigh. ‘Very good, Alec,’ he said. ‘See what I mean? You’re quick, sharp. But you know what? There’s not a whole lot of point being squeaky-clean unless you’re in a spotless world. The people I work with, you know, they come from that squeaky-clean world you seem to aspire to. And I can tell you this much: it’s a screen. A smoke screen of respectability.’

  He gestured to one of the meat heads near the door and was immediately supplied with a drink and a packet of fags.

  ‘Know why the pigs didn’t find anything that night we had the visit?’ he said, sucking on his smokes.

  I shook my head.

  ‘Think about it.’

  I was pretty sure he was bullshitting: was he seriously suggesting someone was in the know?

  ‘Because, I have nothing to fear, Alec,’ he said. ‘I have plenty of friends in high places. But you: you’re all adrift and alone, you have everything to fear.’

  This was the longest single conversation I’d ever had with Minto and as far as I was concerned, it couldn’t finish quickly enough.

  He cracked his knuckles and straightened himself out, stretching those bulky, tattooed arms to the sides. ‘Come over and have a drink,’ he said. ‘Meet the other lads.’

  And next minute, he took me up to the bar, like we were the very best of mates.

  I knew my guard was down after the first couple of shots. It was only then that I dared risk a good look around the room; I mean, really take in my surroundings. It was such a weird sort of set up: an ordinary corner block house that gave no hint as to what lay inside its fifties-built walls. There was a huge Apache sign painted onto the wall next to the breeze-block bar – a copy of the one I’d seen outside, next to the Fuck Off notice. Then there was a motorbike, hanging on a couple of hefty chains from one of the steel rafters like some sort of metallic centrepiece. Its number plate was hanging off and its petrol tank had a deep fist-sized dent in it.

  ‘It’s a kind of shrine really,’ Black told me, coming over when he saw me looking up. ‘Dougie Ace took a bend too fast and never came out of it.’

  ‘Hm. Shit.’

  As I looked up, my leg knocked a table. Right next to it, a half-open trunk had rifle butts poking out of it, like it was a kids’ box stuffed with too many toys.

  ‘Don’t worry, they’re all registered,’ Black said, watching me. ‘All above board, here man. We’ve got our own premises license, our own liquor license, gun license. You name it, we’ve probably got a certificate in triplicate for it.’

  ‘Sounds like you’ve got it all sussed,’ I said. Though I was pretty sure guns were meant to be secured in a locked space; not stuffed into trunk like a lounge-room ornament.

  ‘There’s always plenty of people who know someone, so there’s never a drama getting permissions sorted. As they say, it’s not what you kno
w but who you know, eh?’

  Sindy appeared behind the bar in front of us, acting as makeshift barmaid. ‘What’ll it be, lads?’

  ‘Nothing else, thanks,’ I said.

  ‘Oh, but I insist.’ Sindy leaned across and whispered to me, even though Black could obviously hear her. ‘Minto said I had to make sure you had enough to drink.’

  ‘Did he now?’ I said, glancing over to him. ‘I’ll have a juice then.’

  ‘We don’t serve soft drinks.’

  ‘Fine, a beer,’ I said. It didn’t mean I had to drink it.

  Black wandered off once Sindy had topped up his whisky glass. I perched on the bar stool.

  ‘So, are you going to join?’ Sindy asked me. She looked around the place with a dramatic sweep of the arm. ‘It’s great, isn’t it? I knew you’d like it if you saw it.’

  ‘Did I say I liked it?’

  She laughed. ‘You do. I can tell you do. Will you join, if you’re officially invited?’

  ‘Officially? Do I get a letter in the mail or something?’

  She looked at me and paused. ‘I don’t think so. But they have to discuss it at a meeting. Someone would propose you and someone else would...nominate or second you or something like that.’

  I took a sip of the beer I didn’t want. ‘I doubt I’ll be joining.’

  ‘Why not? You could come here any time then. There’s pool and a weights room. There are even some bedrooms upstairs where you can watch TV.’

  ‘Quite the resort,’ I said. ‘But...it’s not for me. Reckon the price of membership might be too high.’

  ‘It doesn’t cost much,’ Sindy said. ‘There are yearly...subs I think they’re called, but they –’

  ‘I wasn’t referring to the financial cost,’ I said. ‘I’m not really one for commitment.’

  ‘They wouldn’t mind that.’

  Now it was my turn to lower my voice. ‘Actually, I think they would. And I reckon they’d mind very much if ever I wanted to leave.’

  ‘You wouldn’t want to leave once you were one of them,’ Sindy assured me. ‘But if you moved away, there are always other branches to go to. An Apache chapter would never be far away.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘That’s my point.’ But I could see it was lost on her.

  She topped up my glass before I had the chance to stop her. ‘I really think you should join, Alec,’ she said. And her voice was suddenly louder – her attention half on Minto who was leaning against the other end of the bar. ‘I think you’d get a lot out of it.’ Clearly, she needed him to know she was giving it her best shot.

  ‘You’re very persuasive, Sindy,’ I said, playing along. ‘But my mind’s already made up.’

  Something in her expression changed, as if someone had crept inside and pressed her panic button.

  ‘But you have to,’ she said in a loud whisper, leaning right across the bar at me.

  I half-laughed. ‘Why?’

  ‘Please, Alec. You have to.’

  There was a subtext to all this. I looked between her and Minto who was still at the other end of the bar with his back to me. ‘I don’t understand.’

  Suddenly, she grabbed my hand with both of hers. ‘Please, Alec. Don’t make me tell him you said no.’

  ‘But –’

  ‘I’ll do anything. Anything,’ she said. ‘Just don’t tell him no.’

  Minto chose that moment to turn around, bringing his pint over to where Sindy was now quickly wiping the bar. ‘So, you set us up with our new recruit, Sindy?’ he said.

  She looked at me and swallowed.

  ‘I’m still thinking on it,’ I said. ‘Sindy did a fine job though. Made it sound irresistible.’

  ‘If that’s the case, how can you resist?’ Minto said.

  ‘Just want to give it some thought,’ I told him. ‘I’m not sure how much longer I’ll actually be in Swansea for, so...’

  ‘Seeking out pastures new, eh?’ He put his beer on the bar, his fat fingers still cradling it. Everything was inked up: he had ‘Loyal’ across one hand, ‘Apache’ across the other.

  He must’ve seen me looking. ‘Know what they call these?’ he said, not waiting for me to reply. ‘They call ‘em job stoppers. You can’t get a job once your face and hands are inked up. But, hey, do I look like I’m in need of a monthly wage? I’m not playing the same fucking game as most of society.’

  He swept the room with his eyes – clearly some sort of signal for a handful of his mates to come over. I felt myself shrinking back on my stool.

  ‘The thing is, Alec,’ Minto said quietly. ‘There’s a general feeling that when you’ve been granted the honour of an invitation, the polite response would be to accept.’

  ‘Yeah, I get that and I’m not ungrateful or anyth –’

  ‘And there’s also a general feeling that if someone isn’t with us – when they’ve been invited to be – they’re sort of...’ He edged closer, shooting me a look between the eyes. ‘They’re against us. D’you see how that works?’

  ‘Really, I’m –’

  ‘Would you say you’re with us or against us, Alec?’ His voice was low, menacing.

  ‘I’m not against you,’ I said. ‘I swear I’m not. But...I just –’

  Minto turned to the grizzlies behind him. ‘I think what Alec is trying to say is that he hasn’t got the stomach for it. Is that what you’re saying?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  He nodded slowly. ‘Reckon we could soon fix that,’ he said. A murmur of laughter rumbled behind him.

  ‘Let me think about it,’ I said, all upbeat, like we were negotiating over a second-hand motor. ‘I’m sure we can work something out.’

  He gave me one of those hefty slaps on the arm. ‘That’s the way, Alec. Give and take. It’s what we’re all about, eh lads?’

  The balding guy at the back let out a massive beery belch, making them all guffaw. It took the edge off the moment and I allowed myself a breath.

  ‘Right, let’s get this poor kid home,’ Minto said. ‘He looks like he’s about to piss his fucking pull-up pants.’

  Chapter 25

  It was a mixed bag of feelings, knowing I was finally about to get shot of the flat, particularly after the visit to the clubhouse. Minto had said no more about the matter – none of them had – but I had the feeling it was all still a work in progress.

  There should have been relief at leaving, but now there was a fear-filled uncertainty to it. A lot of it was to do with Sindy. There was a sense of me abandoning her; leaving her to her fate. My presence at the flat hardly made a practical difference to her life – she was still caught up in Minto’s crazy world either way – but I suspect we both felt better knowing I was there.

  I could hear her in the kitchen talking to Black, his gruff laugh echoing down the hallway. He wasn’t much better than Minto when it came to Sindy. Any way he could find to ridicule and use her, he would.

  I decided to grab some of my kitchen stuff to add to the packing boxes. It was still over a week till I moved but packing and sorting made escape feel closer. It was like the chokehold was loosening.

  As I walked into the kitchen, Black quickly moved away from Sindy while she stood, readjusting her clothes.

  ‘He wouldn’t stop tickling me!’ she told me. Her voice was husky from laughter.

  ‘And you’re really ticklish I’ll bet,’ I said, as I searched under the sink for my pots. ‘Who’d have thought, eh?’ I brought out my frypan and a few never-used lids.

  ‘You’re not packing, are you?’ Sindy said.

  ‘Just gathering bits and pieces.’

  ‘If you go, Minto’s going to knock the wall down between your rooms,’ Sindy told me. ‘Says it’ll be his own luxury suite. I might be able to have a wardrobe to keep some of my clothes here.’

  ‘Really?’ I said. ‘Let’s hope he waits till I’ve moved out then.’

  Sindy laughed. ‘He’s got a few business trips planned. Says he might get some mates to do it while he’s
away.’

  It was a relief to know he’d accepted I was going. Perhaps his talk had been all bluster; a final shot at persuading me to stay.

  ‘Hey, Sindy. Is this Minto’s?’ Black said, nodding to a leather jacket on the back of the chair.

  ‘Yeah, must’ve put a different one on,’ she said, heaving it off the chair and sliding her arms into it.

  The jacket swamped her, and her bandy little legs looked like they might buckle under the weight.

  She caught me looking and laughed. Then she turned this way and that, doing ridiculous model poses. As she strutted to the other side of the room, I read the ‘Morriston’ insignia along the top. On the bottom ‘Apache MC’ stood in large letters with a big ‘1%’ sign between two fingers.

  ‘Apache MC, eh?’ I said.

  Sindy turned around, looking disgruntled that I was paying more attention to the jacket than to her.

  She continued her catwalk strut, pausing every now and then to turn and pout or let the jacket slip from her shoulder.

  Black gave her a clap and a few wolf-whistles, egging her on. She pulled it down over both shoulders and did a little shimmy.

  I wasn’t sure I liked where this was going.

  ‘What the fuck d’you think you’re doing?’ Minto appeared in the doorway, blocking the light from outside. His T-shirt had got wet in the rain and was tight against his chest, showing off the effects of all that weight-training. His pecs looked fit to burst as he took a deep breath, waiting for Sindy to answer him. ‘I said, what the fuck d’you think you’re doing!’ he yelled at her.

  He didn’t seem quite himself. He had a manic look in his eye and his breathing was fast and shallow. He was sweating like a pig, too.

  Black must have spotted it. He heaved himself out of his seat and tossed his empty beer can in the sink. ‘I’m outta here,’ he said. ‘Coming, Alec?’

  I stood up, but my legs didn’t move.

  Minto hadn’t noticed either of us in any case: his focus was solely on Sindy. He reached forward and snatched the lapel of the leather jacket, yanking Sindy towards him. In the same movement, he pushed her away again and her head thudded against the wall, making the cups rattle in the cupboard.