by G. K. DeRosa
“I don’t know, Ryder.” I glanced up at him, pinning my eyes to his. My heart staggered. “You say that now, but…”
His finger pressed against my lips, his eyes locking onto mine with the fury of a molten volcano. “No. There are no more buts. I love you more than anything—I never stopped. I was afraid you’d moved on, but if there’s still a chance for us after everything that’s happened I don’t want to waste another minute. As soon as you’re safely back at the academy, we’re going to figure this out. If you still want to be with me…”
A tornado of emotions whipped in my chest as my brain attempted to process his words. Ryder still loved me. I’d desperately dreamed of this moment since the morning I woke up to an empty bed, and my world had been destroyed. But after everything that happened, could I risk shattering what was left of my heart?
I took a step back, desperately needing to put some space between us to think rationally. “I need some time to consider all of this, Ryder.”
A dark shadow fell across his handsome face. “Of course. Take all the time you need.”
The brilliant glow and rushing winds of a portal drew me from a fitful sleep. I lifted my head from Ryder’s chest, my neck sore from the odd position in which we’d fallen asleep on the couch.
“It’s done,” Garrix announced as his form fused together before my hazy eyes. Ryder and I both snapped up. “King Elrian ruled in our favor, and you’re free to go. I’ve also opened an official inquisition into Malaki and his possible dealings with Luxora. The council agreed that her demons showing up at my house at precisely the right time was a rather incredible coincidence.”
“That’s great. Thank you.” I rubbed my eyes and yawned, glancing over at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning.
“I just spoke to Cillian, and he’s expecting you. Everything is quiet at the academy. There’s no sign of Luxora or her underlings.”
“Thank you, Garrix.” Ryder stood and extended his hand. “There’s something important I’d like to speak to you about when you have a free moment. I’m sure you don’t get many of those, but I’d appreciate it.”
My father eyed his hand for a long minute before finally shaking it. “Fine. I appreciate your dedication to my daughter so I will grant your request. Speak to her to coordinate the meeting.”
“I will.”
“Come now, Luna. I’ll accompany you both to the academy and then I must be off.” He glanced at his watch. “Still a few more hours to get some business done in the human world. Only a couple more days until the House votes on banning all supernaturals from the human realm.”
I’d been so wrapped up in the Coven Council drama I had no idea what was happening in the human world. “It’s gotten that bad?”
He nodded. “I didn’t want to bring more bad news, but yesterday a few dozen demons massacred a small town in the Midwest. The humans are livid, which is what incited the House vote. I’ve already set up a meeting to discuss the situation with Lucifer. I’m hoping that offering the devil a seat on the Etrian Assembly may be enough for him to take a stand against his own daughter.”
The Underworld finally securing a seat on the assembly was huge. They’d never been allowed representation, which was what caused the original disparity and ultimate turmoil between the races.
“Do you think the assembly will agree?” Ryder asked.
“They better. Or we’re all doomed.”
Chapter 16
It was nice to be back at the academy and dive into a comfortable routine again. It helped keep my thoughts off Luxora and when she’d attack next. The situation in the human realm was deteriorating rapidly and though the vote banning the supes hadn’t passed, according to my dad, the House was busy drafting a new version.
We’d been sent on three missions into Las Vegas, Miami and Dallas this past week alone. The only good thing was that Luxora hadn’t shown up, and we’d been getting in a lot of practice. The supe slayer squad was an unstoppable demon-killing machine. Or at least that’s what I told myself so I could sleep at night.
It was only a matter of time until Luxora appeared.
“Psst.” Cinder threw a wadded up ball of notebook paper at my head from across the row.
“What?”
“Geez, I’ve been trying to get your attention forever,” she whispered.
“Sorry. I’ve been a little preoccupied lately.”
“Because of Ryder or Luxora?” My bestie shot me a mischievous grin.
The bell rang, and I was saved from answering that loaded question. Of course I’d told Cinder everything that had happened while Ryder and I were at my father’s. I just hadn’t told her what I’d decided to do about it yet, because in truth, I had no idea.
I loved Ryder so much it hurt. And that was exactly the problem. It had taken me so long to reassemble the pieces of my heart after he’d shattered them, I wasn’t sure I could risk it again. I didn’t think I’d survive.
“So what are you up to tonight?” Cinder asked as we strolled down the hallway.
I’d completely forgotten it was Friday night. Where had this semester gone? “No plans. You?”
“Raf and I are going into town for dinner and a movie.” She waggled her eyebrows. “I was hoping you and Ryder would come too. You know, like a double date?”
I threw my friend a dramatic eye roll. “Cin, I’m not sure if we’re quite there yet.”
“Deny it all you want, Luna, but we all know you’re going to give into Ryder in the end.” She wrapped her slender arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “I know it’s scary and he hurt you, but you guys are meant to be. I knew it from the first moment I saw you together.”
“You did?”
She nodded. “Fenix too. He used to get so grumpy whenever Ryder’s name was brought up. My possessive brother thought he still had feelings for his wife, but then as soon as you came into the picture, all that changed.”
“Then why did you tell me to get over him a few months ago?”
“Because I saw what holding onto him was doing to you. I wanted you to be happy and that’s what you needed at the time. Now it’s different. He’s not technically a teacher on staff anymore, and he’s offered to bind his demon for you. He loves you; any fool can see that.” She sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder. “But if you need time, then take it. He’s not going anywhere. I just thought a double date would be fun.”
I laughed. I thanked the stars for the millionth time for gifting me with this incredible friend. At the end of the hall, a platinum head of hair caught my eye, a few of his Fae harem in tow. “Plus, Drake and I just broke up a few weeks ago.”
She followed my line of sight and snorted. “Well, he’s betrothed, sweetie, and even that doesn’t seem to be keeping him from getting over you.”
The gaggle of girls giggled and eyed him flirtatiously as they passed us down the hall. Bleh. Drake flashed me a smile as he sped by, and the guilt dissipated. The ice prince and I may not have been meant to be, but I still cared for him a lot. It wasn’t fair that he was forced to marry someone he had no feelings for.
Cinder’s elbow nudged me in the gut, drawing me away from my thoughts. “Who’s that hot cougar walking toward us with Ryder?”
My eyes snapped up to meet a pair of warm hazel ones. Her silky auburn strands of hair framed a familiar heart-shaped face. “That’s not a cougar,” I hissed at Cinder. “That’s Ryder’s mom.”
“Oh! That’s why she looked familiar.”
My pulse skyrocketed as Ryder and the striking redhead came straight for us.
“Looks like you’re about to meet your future mother-in-law.” Cinder giggled and wiggled her fingers at me. “Good luck. I’ll see you later!”
“Cinder!” I shouted spinning as she backed away, but she disappeared into the crowded corridor leaving me flustered and gaping.
“Luna.” A finger tapped me on the shoulder, the deep voice of its owner sending tendrils of heat through my core.
I twi
rled around pasting a big smile on my face. “Hey!”
“I wanted you to meet my mom, Emi-Lou.” Ryder’s arm was draped over her shoulder as the beautiful woman beamed.
If I didn’t know it for a fact, I’d never have guessed Emi was old enough to be Ryder’s mom. More like an older sister, if anything.
She held out her hand and wrapped her long fingers around mine. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Luna. I’ve heard so much about you.” There was no mistaking the Southern twang that honeyed her voice. It was adorable, and I couldn’t imagine this delicate creature sucking out the soul of a daffodil let alone a human being.
I finally stopped ogling and processed her words. “Oh, you have?” Ryder’s been talking to his mom about me?
“Of course. I knew all about you from the first day you stepped foot at the academy.” She grinned, and Ryder’s cheeks flushed. “My son inherited my gift of gab when the topic is right.”
Were we talking about the same guy? Getting Ryder to talk was like pulling teeth. But then again, most of our conversations weren’t exactly lighthearted banter.
“Are you busy tonight?” he asked.
“Um, no not really. I was just going to get caught up on the work I missed while we were gone.”
“Oh sweetie, you can do that any old time. Come with us for dinner tonight. There’s an adorable little Fae café about fifteen minutes from here. Don’t tell me my son’s never taken you there?”
I arched a brow at Ryder. “Why no, he hasn’t.”
She wrapped her arm around mine and tugged me down the corridor. “Well, we’re fixing that tonight. We’ve got some celebrating to do.”
“Celebrating?” I glanced over my shoulder. Ryder shrugged and trailed behind us.
She lowered her voice, the bubbly twang subsiding. “My son finally came clean about what happened over the past few months. The way I see it, if it weren’t for you, my boy would still be in prison. So it’s sparkling rosé for everyone this evening.”
When I told Cinder I was having dinner with Ryder and his mom, she rushed right over with an armful of clothes. I was so lucky to have that girl in my life.
As we walked up the steps to the quaint café, I hugged my arms around the warm woolen coat Cinder had lent me. Beneath it, the cashmere sweater dress felt like silk against my skin. I focused on that instead of Ryder’s hand, which had made a sudden appearance on my lower back.
He opened the restaurant door for his mom with a beaming smile then held it for me. As I passed by him, he leaned in, his nose brushing the shell of my ear. “You look beautiful, by the way.” His rumbly voice did things to my insides that should be illegal.
I steeled my spine and forced my legs to remain upright as his hand once again grazed my back. Warmth flooded the crowded bistro, dim lighting and gentle music completing the romantic vibe. Landscapes of Paris covered the red brick walls, and I suddenly realized how little I knew about the Fae. Though I’d been living in their realm for nearly two years now, I hadn’t spent much time off academy grounds. I never would’ve guessed they’d model a restaurant after a typical Parisian bistro, or how I imagined one looked from my limited visits to Balthazar in New York City. I didn’t think they valued much anything from the human world, but apparently I was wrong.
The hostess guided us to a small table in the corner as the sweet tunes filled the air. For a second, I wondered if this music was like the one at Winter Court. Would I be helpless to its ethereal sounds?
“We’ll have a bottle of sparkling rosé, please.” Emi-Lou’s voice drew me away from my rambling thoughts.
“Of course.” The cute blonde waitress smiled as she placed the menus in front of us and swept her long bangs behind pointy ears.
Once she left I tried to focus on the menu, but the words kept blurring. My knee bounced under the table, and I couldn’t get my nerves under control. Battling hell demons: no problem, but a date with mom, that was just too much.
A warm hand clasped my knee, and I nearly bounced right out of my seat. Ryder’s thumb moved in slow circles until the mad racing of my heart relented. I inhaled slowly and refocused on the menu. Now that my nerves weren’t so wound up, his gentle touch sent a different type of heat surging through my body.
The waitress returned with the bottle of wine and filled each of our flutes. As soon as she left, Emi raised a glass. “To you, Luna, for saving my son.”
My cheeks flushed as I clinked my flute against hers. “I really didn’t do anything.”
“Now, now, don’t be so modest. Ryder told me everything. As if going to see the Fae king on his behalf wasn’t enough, you even whipped his butt in gear when he was moping at that rehab center.”
Geez, he really had told her everything. I cringed, wondering if he’d told her what had set his demon off in the first place.
“Ryder saved my life countless times. I never would’ve survived my first year at Darkhen without him. I was just trying to repay his kindness.”
Ryder’s fingers tightened over my knee and inched up my thigh. My head whipped toward him, and I threw him my best don’t-you-dare glare. His lip curled into a naughty smile before his hand moved to wrap around my clasped fingers instead.
Emi’s warm hazel eyes twinkled. “I’m just so happy that you found each other.”
“Mom, let’s not freak Luna out, okay? We’re still working things out.”
“I’m sorry!” A huge grin split her lips. She swiveled toward me, smiling so hard it couldn’t be comfortable. “You have to understand, Luna, I’ve waited so long for my son to be truly happy. I know it’s caused some problems, but I have no doubt you’ll work it out.”
Some problems? Ryder’s demon took out hundreds because of the extreme level of happiness he’d achieved. And it was all because he loved me and made love to me.
I glanced up at Emi’s excited expression, and I couldn’t help but want to believe she was right. That everything would work out for us. I should’ve known Ryder’s mom would be an optimist; she had fallen for the devil after all. You had to be a pretty forgiving person to look past that.
“So what do you think about Ryder binding his demon?” If anyone would have insight on that, I figured she would. According to Ryder, she’d hated what Lucifer had made her. So why hadn’t she ever done it?
Her broad smile dimmed. “I only hope it works.”
“Why didn’t you ever try—”
Ryder’s head whipped back and forth, and I let my words fall away. Oops. Had I said something wrong? I took a big gulp of the rosé as silence swept over the table.
Emi wrung the cloth napkin between her fingers, and a flash of yellow streaked across her irises. “I did try to bind my demon once. It didn’t turn out as I’d hoped.” She paused and took a sip from her glass. “But Ryder is much stronger than I am, and so are you from what I’ve heard. I have no doubt that it will work out for him.”
I bit my tongue to keep from asking what happened. Whatever it was couldn’t have been good because the bubbly, sweet mom from a few seconds ago receded into herself. It wasn’t until after the food arrived that her smile gradually came back.
The rest of the dinner went well. We managed to avoid all awkward topics going forward and before long we were back at the academy. After we dropped Emi-Lou off in the guest dormitories, Ryder walked me back to my room.
An uneasy silence filled the space between us. I needed to know what the risks were to this demon-binding thing, and every moment that passed without him telling me only fueled the fire of worry burning in my gut.
When we finally reached my door, Ryder’s gaze pierced mine. “Let’s get this over with. Your cord is wrapped tighter than a bowstring, so spill.”
I unlocked the dorm and ushered him in. Scarlett’s bed was empty as it was most nights lately. She’d been hooking it up with that old vampire flame she’d rekindled over break.
I sank down into my soft mattress and glanced up at Ryder. I had a feeling I would need to
be sitting for this conversation. “What happened to your mom when she tried to bind her demon?”
He huffed out a breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “Luna, her case was totally different than mine…”
“Ryder!”
“What?” He began pacing in front of my bed.
“Just answer me. I need to know the truth.”
“She went to some crappy warlock who didn’t know what he was doing, and her demon ended up nearly swallowing her whole. It took her over a year to recover. Okay?” He jabbed his fingers into his hair, tugging on the long ends. “Is that what you wanted to hear—the worst case scenario?”
“Yes! I deserve to know what I’m getting into. I only just got you back, and I can’t risk losing you again.” My voice broke at the last words, and I hated how weak I sounded.
In a blur, Ryder closed the distance between us and knelt at my feet. His blazing onyx eyes met mine, their quiet intensity stealing my breath. “I promise you won’t.”
I shook my head as hot tears welled up. “You can’t promise that. You don’t know what could happen. You have no idea what I went through these past few months, Ryder. I can’t do it again. I won’t survive it.”
He grasped my hands squeezing them tightly between his big warm ones. “I know, and I’m so sorry, Luna. I don’t ever want you to deal with that sort of pain again, but what other option do we have?” His lips inched closer, and he brushed them against mine. My heart nearly took a flying leap out of my chest. They were soft and sweet and exactly as I remembered them. Cinder was right; I was hopeless when it came to Ryder.
He pulled away, the chaste kiss leaving me hungry for so much more. I weaved my hands behind his neck and drew him back once again.
“We can’t, Luna,” he muttered, his forehead against mine. “Don’t you see that’s why I have to do this? I’m scared to touch you, to kiss you like you deserve to be kissed, to make love to you with every part of me, but I can’t. Not while this thing is inside me.”