by Shana Galen
Jasper didn’t consider this turn of events promising. The fact that whoever had been spying on them two nights ago hadn’t come back meant the man had found whatever he was looking for. He’d returned to report to whoever had hired him—Withernsea? Someone else?—and soon others would come to collect what they wanted.
He definitely had to take Richard and Olivia with him today. London hardly seemed like a safe haven, but Olivia’s parents were there as were Jasper’s friends, who could provide him information and Olivia protection.
“What are you doing?” came a small voice.
Jasper turned around to see Richard approaching, rubbing his eyes.
“Waking up. You?”
“Waking”—his sentence was interrupted by a yawn—“up. You’re not wearing your mask.”
“I’m not. I’ll put it on again today, since we’re going into the village. I don’t want to scare anyone.”
“You’re not scary. I wish I had a scar like yours.”
Jasper wasn’t certain what to make of that statement. “No, you don’t.”
“I do. Can you cut my hair here so it looks like yours?”
“No.” Jasper shook his head in disbelief. “Your hair looks fine the way it is. Let’s go back before your mother comes out looking for us.”
“Yes, sir. I mean, my lord.” He took Jasper’s hand, which surprised Jasper but seemed to be something the boy did without thinking about it. “Did it hurt?”
Jasper was still looking at the small hand in his. “What?”
“When you were burned? Did it hurt?”
“Yes, it hurt.” Jasper began walking back to the cottage.
“Does it still hurt?”
“Not most of the time.”
“I’m scared of it hurting.”
Jasper paused outside the cottage then he knelt and took the lad’s shoulders. “Nothing like this will ever happen to you. Your mother won’t allow any harm to come to you, and neither will I. Do you know how I received this scar?”
Richard shook his head.
“I was protecting my friends. I’ll protect you too.”
The boy leaned close and Jasper thought he intended to hug him. He opened his arms, and the boy went into them but instead of hugging him, he moved close and spoke conspiratorially. “The one you really need to protect is Mama. She’s scared.”
Jasper froze. He and Olivia had both thought they’d hidden their concerns about the trip, instead speaking to the boy about all the fun and excitement to be had. But he hadn’t been fooled at all. “Do you know what she’s scared about?”
Richard shook his head. “Do you?”
“Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll keep her safe. Nothing will happen to either of you.” He strove for the light tone they’d tried to adopt with the boy yesterday. “Think: in just a day or two you’ll see your grandparents. They’ll be so pleased to meet you.” At least he hoped they would be pleased.
That made the boy smile. “Mama says they have a big fancy house. Do you think I can have a dog? And a pony?”
“That’s not my decision.” And thank God for small mercies. But he knew the boy was upset at having to leave Clover behind. She was too old to make the trip to London at the pace Jasper planned. Olivia knew a family with three children and a large pasture who would enjoy caring for the old mare, and she’d suggested they give the horse to them. Jasper had thought they should sell the horse, but Olivia argued she was too old to fetch much. She obviously cared for Clover and wanted to see her live her last years in leisure.
“I prepared something to break our fasts.”
Jasper looked behind him and saw Olivia standing in the door to the cottage. He hadn’t even heard it open.
“You eat,” he said, guiding the boy to his mother. “I’ll ready Clover so we can depart right after the meal.”
She nodded, her eyes appraising him. He hadn’t lied when he’d said he thought her beautiful. In the golden rays of the rising sun, she was so lovely he wanted to take her in his arms. He half wished he’d never touched her because now he knew what it felt like and he would miss it when they returned to London and went their separate ways.
“I’ll pack something for you to eat on the way,” she said.
He gave her a nod of thanks and went to ready Clover.
THE TRIP DOWN THE PATH from the cottage to the seashore was as bad as he’d anticipated. He’d gone first with the horse, allowing the animal to pick her way down the steep, often precarious path. About halfway down, the trail evened out, and he left the horse and went back for Olivia and Richard. They had waited at the top, and Olivia smiled when she saw him. “Did you make it to the bottom?”
He shook his head. “Halfway.” He stooped to catch his breath. “There’s a spot you can rest there while I take the horse the rest of the way.”
She nodded. Jasper gestured to the boy. “It’s steep. Climb onto my back, and I’ll give you a ride down.”
“Like Clover does?”
“Yes. Since you’re a brave knight who fights dragons, I have to be a noble steed.”
“Let’s go!” He climbed onto Jasper’s back and Jasper started down, angling his body sideways to leverage against the incline. He looked back to make sure Olivia was faring well on her own and saw that she hadn’t yet started after them. Instead, she’d pulled her skirt through her legs and secured it at her waist. Her pale calves were visible above her ragged half boots, and he didn’t have to work hard to imagine the shape of her thighs.
He quickly turned back to the path. Freeing herself from the encumbrance of her skirts had been clever. The last thing she needed was him ogling her.
It took several hours, much longer than he’d wanted, to make it to the base of the cliff. Jasper’s back and shoulders burned like fire, but even worse was the pounding in his head. He hadn’t considered the boy would chitter in his ear the entire way down.
He gave Olivia his back so she might arrange her skirts without an audience, and then the four of them started for Penbury. Jasper donned his mask and Olivia pinned on a hat with a short veil.
“Not much reason to hide your face now,” he remarked.
“And no reason to show it, either. London will know I’m in Town soon enough. I’d like to arrive without advance warning.”
“What are you talking about?” Richard asked.
“Nothing, darling,” she said with a smile. “Ready to begin our adventure?”
“I’m hungry!”
Jasper sighed. At this rate, they’d never make it to London.
Twelve
It was late by the time they stopped for the night. Olivia had known Jasper was frustrated by the slow pace of their travels. It had taken longer than he’d wanted for them to conclude their business in Penbury. They might have made better time if she hadn’t stopped to say goodbye to the few acquaintances she had there, but they’d been kind and helpful over the years. Olivia didn’t want to leave without a farewell.
She didn’t know exactly how much coin Jasper had brought with him, but it was far more than she’d expected. Since he insisted they stay together, she’d waited in the common room while he fetched his belongings at the inn. Then she’d followed as he’d inquired about a coach and horses. An hour or so later, all was ready for them. He’d procured a closed carriage and four horses he could change at posting houses along the way. She’d expected a cart and one horse, if that.
“How much coin do you have?” she asked as she looked at the conveyance.
“Not as much as all this, but it helps to be the son of the Marquess of Strathern. I have good credit.”
“I’ll pay you back,” she said.
“I wouldn’t accept payment if you offered.” He gestured to the carriage. Richard was already climbing about inside, exploring every inch. “Your carriage awaits, Miss Carlisle.”
“And are you to play coachman?”
He nodded. “Much quieter out here.”
She’d laughed because she already dread
ed Richard’s constant questions.
Now at the inn where they’d stopped for the night, Jasper procured two rooms. Richard had fallen asleep hours before, and he carried the boy to her room and tucked him in. “I’ve ordered refreshment if you’re hungry.”
“I am.” The movement of the carriage made her slightly nauseous and she had not eaten much on the road.
“I’ve asked it to be sent to my room.” His look was apologetic. “Shall I tell them we’ll eat downstairs?”
She shook her head. Jasper’s room was across the hall and close to Richard. “I think my virtue, what is left of it, is safe with you, my lord.”
He gave her a look she couldn’t read since he wore his mask and gestured for her to follow him. In the hallway, they met the maidservant with the supper tray. Once the food was laid out on a table, Jasper sent the servant away, and Olivia sank into a chair with a cup of warm tea.
“I’ve forgotten how awful traveling by coach can be. I think I felt every rock and rut.”
He sat across from her and rolled his shoulders. “I’m afraid the conveyance isn’t well-sprung.”
She shrugged. “Another day and we’ll be in London.”
“It may be a day and a night. I thought we’d make better time today.”
“I’m sorry we slowed you down.”
He broke off a piece of bread from the warm loaf. “I should have realized traveling in company is slower than traveling alone. You locked the door to your room?”
She nodded, holding up the key. “Yes, but I don’t want to stay long. If Richard wakes, he won’t know where I am.”
Jasper laughed. “He’s so tired I’ll probably have to carry him out to the carriage in the morning.”
She smiled. “This is the most excitement he’s had...ever, I think.”
Jasper ate silently, and it was a comfortable silence. “Richard is worried about you,” he said. Her head jerked up.
“What do you mean?”
He ate a bit of his vegetable tart. “He told me yesterday that he knew you were scared. He asked me to protect you.”
Her heart plummeted to her stomach, and she pushed her food away. “Children always know when adults are afraid. No matter how well we hide it.”
“I’ll tell you what I told him. I won’t let anything happen to you. Either of you.”
She pressed a hand to her chest because her heart clenched.
“I’ll protect you.” His hazel eyes were very intent as he spoke. “I promise.” “Like you protected the men of your troop when you received your scar. I...” She swallowed at the emotion threatening to choke her. “I can’t tell you what it means to me that you’d say that. Thank you.”
To her surprise, he glanced away from her in anger.
“Jasper?”
“I think before you start thanking me you should hope I protect you better than I did my friends. If I had, you wouldn’t be masquerading as Peter Collins’s widow. Peter would be alive.”
“He was the soldier who died in the fire.” It wasn’t a question. He’d given her enough information over the time they’d spent together that she’d worked it out.
“I went in to save him. I failed.” He rose and walked away
“Not without a fight. I can look at your scar and know that the wound almost killed you.”
“There were days I wished it had. The pain was so great.” He stopped at the window and parted the curtains. “The pain and the guilt.”
“Do you think Peter would wish you dead?”
“No,” he answered without pause. “And he wouldn’t want my guilt either. We went into every mission expecting to die, ready to die. But that didn’t mean we went without a fight.”
She rose and went to him. “You lived, and I can’t regret that because if you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have ever found me.”
“I also wouldn’t have led someone to your cottage. You’d still be safe there.”
“I’d still be in prison there. You’ve given me a chance to start again. A chance for Richard to know his family.”
“The ton is not so forgiving.” His tone held a warning.
“I may live the rest of my life as an outcast, a scandalous woman. But I won’t hide away in fear anymore.” But even as she said it, her voice trembled.
“I told you, I won’t let the duke hurt you. You’re not a child any longer. No one can force you to marry him.” He stared out the window.
She nodded, tears filling her eyes. She’d been strong the past two days for Richard, but now her legs wanted to crumple and her resolve felt shaky. “There’s just so much I can’t control. What will my parents say when they see Richard? What about my old friends? What do I do if Withernsea comes to call on me?”
“Tell him to get the hell out,” Jasper said.
His matter-of-fact tone made her laugh. “You make it all seem so simple.”
“It is simple. As someone who has lived outside the confines of Society for years, I promise you, life without those rules and strictures is much easier.”
“Even for a woman?”
“A woman whose parents were willing to pay my fees to see their daughter again? Yes. They want you back. They love you.”
It should have reassured her. Perhaps she could finally stop running, finally make a real home for Richard and herself. But she had a new fear now. “I want to see them again, but I can’t stop myself wondering—what happens between us when we reach London?” She wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him.
She hadn’t wanted him in her life, but now she couldn’t imagine being without him.
He dropped the curtains and faced her. “I’ll stay nearby to make certain Withernsea doesn’t bother you, and you’re safe with your parents.”
“And then?” She looked up at him, into his eyes what were neither green nor brown at the moment.
“There can’t be anything else. I’m not the sort of man who pays court to ladies. I’m the son of a marquess who has gone into trade. My services are for hire. Even if I didn’t have this scarred face, no respectable father would want me for his daughter.” His tone made it seem as though the matter was already decided. She didn’t want to believe that.
“What if his daughter isn’t exactly respectable?”
“Then she doesn’t need me to complicate her situation further. It’s best if once you’re settled that I’ll leave you alone.”
All of the air in her lungs seemed to whoosh out and leave her deflated. She could nod and accept what he said. It was probably the best course of action. But if she didn’t tell him how she felt now, she might never have another chance. She swallowed. “What if I don’t want you to leave me alone?”
Jasper shook his head slowly. “You will once you return to London.”
“I won’t.” She pressed on, determined to say it now. “I’ve come to care about you, Jasper.”
“You’re scared and vulnerable. You don’t know what you’re feeling.” She smacked his arm and he jumped back. “Hey!”
“Who are you to tell me I don’t know what I feel?” Her annoyance had given her courage. “I know what I feel when you hold me, when you kiss me, when you look at me, when I see you carrying my son.”
“Olivia.” His tone held a warning.
“You want me to change the subject? Then tell me you don’t feel the same. Tell me you don’t care about me, but if you say it, I’ll know you’re lying. I’ve seen lust. I’ve experienced it. There’s more than lust between us.” Her cheeks were as hot as the fire in the grate, but she didn’t look away.
“There’s plenty of lust,” he said, and the look he gave her should have scared her. It would have terrified her a week ago. But now it made her breath catch with hope and need.
“Then maybe you should walk away from me when we reach London. Maybe I should go back to my room right now.” Please don’t let me go. “I should forget about kissing you, touching you.” He closed his eyes, his face the image of a man in pain. Olivia stepped closer. “Or sho
uld I stay?”
“Stay.” His arms went around her, pulling her against him. Heat shot through her where their bodies touched. Under the heat was an acute awareness of everything about him, from the solidity of his chest to the hardness of his forearms where they pressed against her lower back. He leaned down to kiss her, but she leaned back slightly.
“You’re still wearing your mask.”
“Take it off me.”
She practically moaned at the low, teasing tone of his voice. Hands trembling slightly, she lifted them to the ties behind his head and pulled the strings. She pulled them off and allowed them to drop to the floor. “That’s better.”
He leaned in to kiss her again.
“Admit it,” she said as his lips brushed over hers, sending tingles of pleasure racing through her. “Admit this is more than lust.”
His eyes met hers for a long moment. “This is more than lust, Olivia.” His gaze still locked with hers, he bent his head and kissed her until her knees were weak and she had to cling to him or crumple to a heap on the floor. He kissed her throat again, her earlobe, and then unbuttoned her spencer so he could tantalize her collarbone and shoulder. He used his mouth, keeping his hands on her back or waist, but she became aware that he slid them up from her waist over her ribs, resting them just below her breasts. Her nipples hardened at his closeness, aching for relief. She wasn’t certain what would bring it.
“Can I touch you?” he asked. A finger swept upward, grazing the underside of one breast. “Here?”
She nodded.
“Yes?” he asked, repeating the gesture with the other hand.
“Yes,” she breathed.
His hands slid up and cupped her breasts, his thumbs brushing the sensitive points. “Like this?” he whispered.
“Yes.”