Mid-chatter about our favourite scenes from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Rob sort of folded slowly forward in his chair until his chin was touching his chest. Then, he quietly leaned in toward his plate until his forehead was resting in the remains of his salmon.
Oh my God, Emma cried. He’s had a stroke. Call 911.
Where’s the phone? Shayne shouted. Wait, put him on the floor. I know CPR.
He hasn’t had a stroke, I shouted over both of their voices. I drugged him. Don’t phone anyone. Don’t do anything.
I pulled Rob into a seated position. He was out cold, but he seemed to be breathing fine, which was a relief.
Shayne and Emma turned to me. You did what? You drugged him? Why?
Because he’d kill me for having you over, Ash said. He’s that possessive and jealous. And if you don’t believe me, phone the hospital and ask them about the last time I was in there with a black eye and broken ribs and needing stitches in my lip. You can still see the bruises.
He hit you? Shayne was incredulous.
You don’t know anything about what goes on in this world, I said to him. You were always swaddled in dope, and now you’re swaddled in Jesus.
But why did you drug him? Emma asked.
Our plan is to clean up while he sleeps and then Ash can pretend like nothing happened and that this was all Rob’s imagining when he wakes up. It’s the best thing we could think of, to help Ash get out of this.
Shayne was clutching a crucifix in his hand and mouthing a prayer, wide-eyed.
Oh, Shayne, I said. For fuck’s sake. You used to be a person at least. Now you’re just annoying. Which reminds me, where is my father?
How much time do we have? Ash asked nervously.
At least ten hours, I’d say. He had a fair bit of wine too, so don’t worry.
I’m going to start cleaning, Ashley said. Shouldn’t we lie him down?
Shayne, can you carry Rob to the sofa?
Shayne tucked his crucifix into his shirt and hoisted Rob into his arms.
Whoa. He’s heavy.
He put Rob down on the sofa, on his side, with a cushion under his head.
You don’t want to lie him on his back, he said. He could choke on his own vomit if he throws up.
Nice, Emma said. Shayne shrugged while Ashley rushed back into the dining room and started clearing the table.
I looked at Shayne. Emma was watching both of us. She’d brought a new bottle of Pino Grigio with her and was topping up her glass.
So where is he? Tell me now. WHERE is my father?
The room fell silent. Even Ashley stopped and turned and looked at Shayne expectantly.
48. THE FOLDING UP
YOUR FATHER IS A USED-CAR SALESMAN in Prince Rupert, British Columbia, Shayne said.
Well, that stumped me. For a moment I couldn’t think of anything to say, or anything to ask.
I always thought my mum killed him, I finally said. I’m kind of shocked to hear he’s actually alive.
Why did you think your mother killed him? Emma asked.
Why did you choose to call yourself Emma? I asked apropos of nothing. I’d meant to ask her before and now seemed as good a time as any.
It sounds classy. I always thought Tammy suited a trailer-trash chain-smoking slut who lived in a double-wide. Why did you think your mother killed your father?
I thought I remembered it, I said slowly. I really did. I thought I woke up to hear them arguing. He had been at the track, the race track, and he lost a bunch of money. Mum was crazy mad. They were yelling – well, she was yelling at him — and I crept to the top of the stairs so I could listen. But all I heard was a thud and then everything went quiet. Next thing I knew, Mum called Mr. Alright, and I rushed back to my room and hid. The next day, they said Dad was gone. And he had gone too; his clothes and all his stuff was gone. Prince Rupert? Why would he go to Prince Rupert?
Shayne shrugged. Did you two really have a thing? he asked.
Emma laughed. Yeah, why, you want to see us kiss?
Emma, I said, shaking my head. No Shayne, we didn’t. We were just lying to Rob.
I’m very confused, Shayne said.
You should be used to it, Emma told him.
Ashley came in and sat down next to Rob’s sleeping form. I should clean him up, he said. Look, he’s got food all over his face and tie. I must clean his tie. It’s evidence that this whole thing happened. Maybe I should throw it away. We’ll put another one on him for when he wakes up. But maybe we should put him into his pyjamas.
He kissed Rob on the cheek. I am sorry, he said. Sorry Rob. I am going to get a cloth to wash his face.
This is all too crazy for me, Shayne said. JJ, can I talk to you, in private?
What did you have planned for dessert? Emma shouted after Ash who peered around the door.
Ah, yes, dessert…. I suppose you may as well eat it. Crème brûlée. I was going to make it with a twist of citrus but I wasn’t sure if you’d all like that, so I just stuck with the original.
Crème brûlée! One of my favourites! I haven’t had that in years. Emma was delighted.
I paired it with an Italian sweet sparkling wine, Ash said. It’s in the kitchen. Help yourself.
He disappeared. Emma jumped up and went to the kitchen.
We’re alone, I said to Shayne. Talk away.
We’re not alone. We’re here with a guy whom you drugged, whom, for all I know, could die from what you gave him.
Three crushed sleeping pills, I said. That’s all. Well, actually four.
Shayne was slightly mollified.
But I still can’t talk with him here, he said.
Come on then, I said, and I led him downstairs to the basement where I sat down on the sofa. Come and sit next to me, Shayne. I patted the seat like an encouraging mother.
He eyed me warily. I hope you’re not going to tell me you want to have sex now? He sat down on the furtherest edge of the sofa from me. Father Jacob said you are a very sex-crazed woman and that you took advantage of me. He said people mustn’t have sex until they get married, but we can’t get married until you convert. You will convert won’t you?
You want to marry me?
Of course I do. I love you. I’ve always loved you. But we need to cleanse you of your demons, and you need to open your heart to Jesus. I don’t know why you’re being so resistant. I want you to leave these crazy people and come with me. Come and meet Father Jacob. You’ll see, it’s a wonderful way of life.
Oh, Shayne. I manoeuvered closer to him. I’ve missed you so much. And looking at him, at his big muscular body did remind me of how attractive I had always found him. And he was right. I did want to have sex with him. I stroked his head in the way I knew he loved, and I felt him melt. I climbed onto his lap. Even if we can’t go the whole way, what did Father Jones say about a little fooling around?
It’s Father Jacob, and I guess that’s okay, he said, his head tipped back, his eyes closed. But what about Ashley and Emma?
They won’t care, I assured him. Lie down.
I unbuttoned his shirt and kissed his chest. Then I unbuttoned his fly. I stood up and pulled off my trousers and panties and I lay back down on the sofa, pulling him on top of me.
No sex, he murmured, no sex.
No actual sex, I agreed, and I wrapped my legs around him and kissed him deeply. But then we were having beautiful actual sex and it felt so perfect.
And it was perfect until he came and gave a low groan of despair and pulled away from me.
Look what you made me do, he said. You lied. You said no sex.
Shayne, we lived together for nearly three years. How can this possibly have been wrong?
Because things are different now. And you made me sin. I have sinned, and I’ll have to be cleansed all over again. I hated the
cleanse; it was so hard and I was so hungry.
His face crumpled and he looked about ten years old. I felt bad for him.
But I also thought he was being ridiculous.
Grow up, Shayne, I said. Firstly, I didn’t make you do anything. I never have. You need to take some responsibility for your life. If it’s not me making you do things, it’s Jesus or Father Jacob. Where do you factor in the equation of your own life?
I got up and got dressed. That was a great fuck by the way, I said, and he flinched.
I was wrong, Joss, he said. You don’t only have one demon in you. You have many. And I can’t help you. You are lost and you will stay lost until you want to be found. I’m leaving. I’m sorry I came.
Wait — my father really is in Prince Rupert? Alvin Davis?
Yeah. Alvin Davis. Prince Rupert. You happy now? You going to go and see him?
I don’t know, I said slowly. He’ll just be this old guy now, some geriatric stranger. It might just be weird. After all this time, I don’t know.
I want you to know that I’ll wait for you, Shayne said. I’ll wait. JJ, I really do want to marry you. I love you.
I looked at him. He was all shaggy and earnest and sweet.
Don’t wait, I said. I mean it. Don’t wait. We’ve gone separate ways, Shayne. I want you to be happy, find yourself a nice Christian girl and have some babies. What we had was good, but it’s different now, for me too.
Do you hate me?
I could never hate you. And I’m sorry I mocked your Jesus. That was rude of me.
It’s okay. Can I give you a hug goodbye?
Yeah, sure.
We stood hugging for a while until he got an erection, which made him nervous.
I’d better be off then, he said, and we went back upstairs.
I’m heading out, Shayne said. He shook Ash’s hand. Take care, man.
He ignored Emma who was sitting on an overstuffed armchair, drinking steadily, watching us.
I closed the door behind him and turned to face Ash.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I’m fine, I said.
You want some dessert?
Not right now. How’s Rob?
Seems fine. Out cold. The dishwasher is hard at work. It’s all taken care of except the table cloth that got a few marks on it. I’m not sure what to do about that.
I interrupted him.
Ash, I have to tell you something.
Oh no, please don’t. Whatever it is, from the look on your face, I’d much rather not know.
I have to tell you. I don’t want to but I must. Let me get my purse.
I returned to the living room and dug in my bag.
Why am I not going to like this? Ash asked as he sat down heavily. Just say it, whatever it is.
I found what I was looking for, and I unfolded the piece of paper and handed it to him without comment.
Oh no, he said, after he finished reading it. He put his head in his hands.
What? Emma asked. What’s going on? No one tells me anything. What’s going on?
Ash handed her the printout I had made in the library.
All of this, he said, waving his hand around. Everything is because of what he stole? I feel sick.
Most likely.
And the money in the safe?
Emma shot upright. What money? What safe?
I groaned. It’s a moot point. We don’t have the combination.
Then let’s torture him until we get it, Emma said, jumping up. We can tie him down and sober him up and make him tell us.
Well, hello Tammy, I said. Nice of you to join us. Emma, are you sure you haven’t got multiple personality disorder?
Ha ha, very funny … not, she said. How much money? Ashley, put on a pot of coffee. We need to wake Rob up.
We can’t wake him, I said. Sit down.
But her greed was a freight train gathering speed, and she paced up and down.
How much money? How much?
Half a million. It slipped out before I stopped to think. I looked at Ash in horror and apology.
Half a million! She was practically drooling.
She ran over to Rob and slapped his face. Wake up! Wake up, now!
Emma! I grabbed her arm and she slapped me hard across the face, and I stumbled backwards.
Emma! Ashley was horrified. You’re crazy. Joss was right about you, I can’t believe I bought into all your lies.
I went over to Emma and towered over her. I did not touch her but I leaned into her in a way that had her bending backwards.
You so much as touch me again and you will regret it, I said. She backed away, nearly falling over the supine Rob in the process.
I’m sorry, she said. But think about it. Here we are, with no money, and here’s this thief, with a lot of money. It’s not thieving if you take from a thief.
It is so! I recalled Gran chasing Mum’s shady boyfriend out of the house with a tea towel. It is stealing. And all those poor people who lost their money? We’d be taking their hard-earned savings.
You really think those poor people have got a hope in hell of getting any of it back? Particularly if it’s cash? No way, José. Meanwhile, we could use it to start our own lives. We could finally get on with our own lives.
I looked over at Ashley who was pale and quiet.
Shut up Emma, he said. I need to think. Please just shut up.
But—
Shut up! I mean it or we’ll turn you out into the night.
If you do, I’ll tell the cops that you both drugged Rob to try to kill him.
She won’t, I said to Ash. She’s bluffing.
I need to think, Ashley said. I am going upstairs to think for a bit. Please leave me alone. He got up, and I watched him.
Emma was still pacing.
Half a million dollars, she said and her eyes were all sparkly. Think about it, Joss.
Tell you what, Emma, I said. Why don’t you go into the kitchen and stuff your face with more food and wine and whatever you can find and leave me alone too? I’m more sick of you than I can tell you, and if you don’t give me some space, I will put you outside and you’ll get nothing.
The half-promise that she might get something was enough to make her meekly pad off to the kitchen. I heard her opening the fridge and poking around.
I wondered what Ashley would do and I did not have to wait long.
He came downstairs, half an hour later. Emma must have been listening for his return because she rushed back into the living room, holding a plate of cheese and crackers.
What’s happening? she asked.
Ash sat down. What’s happening is that I’m leaving.
Emma went white. And the money? We must get the money, we must. You know it. Are we going to wait till he wakes up?
Emma. Ash was quiet. I know the combination.
You know it! She was like a delighted child, and she skipped over to him, beaming. Open it now, open it now.
How I wished I’d never met her.
What’s the plan, Ash? I asked.
I open it and we split it three ways. Then we all go our separate ways. At least, Emma, you go as far away from us as you can. Will you do that?
I promise, I promise, open it, open it!
Clean up first, Ashley told her. Take your plate back to the kitchen. I don’t want anything to be out of place when we leave, not one thing. Once we’ve gone, he said to me, once we’re about an hour away, you can call your friend Serena and tell her that Frances Weston, also known as Robert Forsythe, is here in case she is interested. We’ll leave the house keys under the mat.
Emma came back into the room. It’s all tidy, you can go and check. I brought three bags for us to put the money into. I hope they are big enough.
I found the com
bination the other day, Ash said to me. I had to write a cheque and I couldn’t find a pen. I was trying to find one in Rob’s desk drawer and I found this list instead with all his passwords on it, and the combination to the safe. I copied each one down and put the list back where I found it. I guess I knew we wouldn’t be together forever. And that I needed a safety net.
I’m very sorry things worked out this way, I said.
Oh for God’s sake, stop talking about irrelevant things! Hurry up! Emma shouted. Open it!
Ashley and I exchanged a glance. Slowly, he got up.
He removed the grating of the fireplace and unhooked the ornamental glass panel, revealing a safe behind.
Emma knelt quickly at his side, with her hands clasped, her eyes wide.
The fireplace was only ever for decoration, Ash said, musingly.
Who cares? Emma said. Hurry up for God’s sake.
Ash got in close and spun the dial of the safe door.
Looks like a very small safe for half a million dollars, Emma said accusingly.
Sssh. Let me concentrate, Ash said, as he turned the dial and finally got the door open.
Emma pushed him to the side and said, half a million my ass. She plunked down on her bottom on the thick carpet, like a kid who had dropped her ice cream cone at the beach. She sounded like she was going to cry.
There was some money in there but nothing close to half a million.
I should have known, Emma said bitterly. She got up and downed her wine, immediately pouring more.
Let’s count what’s there, I said to Ash.
We split the bills and sorted them into piles, with Emma watching glumly.
Thirty three thousand was the total.
Fuck. Emma sighed. Thought I’d won the lottery this time.
I gathered eleven thousand dollars, put it into a plastic bag, and handed it to her.
Now get out, I said.
What? She was shocked.
Get out. You said you would, now do it. Get out.
She looked bewildered. But why?
You really have no idea do you? Just go.
Yes, Emma, Ash said. Go. There’s nothing here for you. You’ve done well if you think about it.
But we could steal all these things! There’s lots here to steal! We could still make a fortune!
Between the Cracks She Fell Page 25