by J. R. Ward
Yeah…wow. Check out those tattooed biceps.
Although it was funny. In spite of his obvious attributes, he couldn’t hold a candle to Sean in her eyes.
She went out into the hall and opened the duplex’s front door. “Hi, you must be Billy?”
The Adonis smiled, showing a row of white, even teeth. “I am. And you’re Lizzie?” As she nodded, he stuck out his hand. “Nice to meet you. How’s the patient?”
“Up and around. In the shower, actually.” She stepped back and swept her arm toward her apartment. “He’ll be right out.”
When Billy stepped into the hallway, his demeanor changed completely. As his eyes drifted up the stairs, his face and his body stiffened, his charisma draining out of him.
He didn’t move. Just stood there fixated.
“Um…he’s in my shower,” she prompted quietly.
“W-w-w-w.” Billy shook his head. “I mean, what?”
“Sean…He’s in my place.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Billy’s eyes didn’t leave the stairs. “H-how.” More with the head shaking, as if he was trying to unstick his mouth. “H-h-how…Damn it, how is he?”
“Better. Much better.”
“Good.” Billy’s massive chest expanded and then he looked at her. All at once, his face settled into a flashing smile that had about as much depth as water spilled on a counter. “I’m glad to hear it. He give you much trouble?”
“No.” As Billy went into her apartment, she asked, “Would you like something to drink?”
“No, I hydrated before I came, but thanks.” He looked around. “Nice place. Been here long?”
“Two years.”
“Nice.”
Standard social conversation, she thought, and she appreciated him making the effort, but she wished she could ask his what was wrong. The man who was standing in her living room was not the guy she’d opened the door to.
Down the hall, the shower shut off and there was the sound of a towel flapping around.
“Yo, Sean,” Billy called out. “How you be?”
The door to the bathroom opened and Sean stuck his head out. His hair was sticking straight up like un-mowed grass and there was water dripping off his nose.
He looked fantastic. Until she got a gander at his eyes. They were locked on his brother and clearly worried.
“You okay?” Sean asked. Even though he’d been the one down for the count with that headache.
Billy nodded. “Y-y-yeah.”
“Stay down here. You don’t go up the stairs, okay?”
Billy nodded again as if he preferred not to trust his voice.
As Sean shut the door, there was an awkward silence.
Then Billy looked up to the ceiling. “You know my father at all?”
“Yes. We were friends.”
His eyes shot to hers. As if he’d never expected to hear that word associated with the man. “Really. Huh. What was he like? As a friend?”
“He was good to me. I was grateful I knew him.”
“Really. Huh.” Same words, same inflection. As if his brain was multiprocessing and that was just what happened to spit out to fill conversational space. “He treat you good?”
“Yes.”
“Really.”
She waited for the huh, but it didn’t come. “He looked after me in a way.”
“Funny, I always thought he didn’t care about people. Well, except for my mother. He loved her. But then she died and he changed. Everything changed. Forever.”
The haunted quality of this big, beautiful man’s voice made chills go up her spine. And the eerie feeling made her think of something Mr. O’Banyon had said once. It had been New Year’s Eve and she’d been talking to him about regrets. He’d said he had none. What he had were things he could never atone for. Regrets…Regrets didn’t go far enough.
She’d thought it was an odd way to put things, but he’d changed the subject and it had never come up again. Now, she looked back on that conversation and felt uneasy.
Billy brought his hand up to his chin. “Sometimes…Sometimes change isn’t good, you know?”
She let the comment stand, because she was well aware he wasn’t actually addressing her.
When a growling sound broke the silence, she frowned. Then realized it was Billy’s stomach.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
He looked down at his body as if surprised. “Yeah…I am.”
“Come on, I was just about to make myself something to eat.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
As Sean sat at his family’s old table in Lizzie’s kitchen, he had to give his brother credit. Billy was keeping it together, appearing to be what he was most of the time: a charmer of a guy with great people skills and a lot of bawdy stories.
But Sean knew the truth, knew how much it was costing his brother to be here. Billy had said he’d never come back to the duplex and it was clear the specter of what had happened upstairs was prowling around in the guy’s head. Billy’s eyes kept lifting to the ceiling as if he could see through the plaster and the Sheetrock and the framing boards into the past.
He was making an effort to keep tight, though, and Lizzie seemed to be having a great time as the two of them cooked then put dinner on the table. Man, it was a perfect summer meal. The hamburgers were stacked with juicy beef-steak tomatoes that spilled out of the bun as you bit down. The corn was sweet and tender. The lemonade was perfect and very chilly.
Except he didn’t enjoy it as much as he could have. While they ate, he tried to get lost in the talk and the food, but it was tough. Even though he was in that post-migraine float zone where everything had soft edges, he kept thinking about Billy.
By the time a bag of oatmeal cookies was passed around, he was feeling the strain in his head.
After Billy told a real barn-burner of a story and Lizzie laughed so hard she was gasping for air, Sean’s brother checked his sports watch. “I’ve got an early PT session tomorrow so unfortunately I have to take off soon.” He got to his feet and picked up his plate as well as Lizzie’s. “This has been great. Would love to do it again soon.”
Lizzie grinned at him. “Yeah, well, I’d love to hear more stories from the locker room.”
“I knew you were my kind of girl.” The faux-leer Billy shot over his shoulder somehow managed to be both outrageous and respectful at the same time.
Which meant Sean didn’t have to snap his brother’s chain. Too hard. “Forget it, Billy, she’s out of your league.”
“I know. Too smart.” Billy smiled at Lizzie. “You’d have to be smart to get through nursing school, right?”
“It helps,” she said, winking at him.
Sean stood up. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Great.” As Lizzie rose from the table, as well, Billy stuck his hand out at her. “I’d hug you but I think my brother would hurt me.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” she said.
Lizzie stretched up onto her toes and threw her arms around Billy. He was so big, she looked as if she were embracing the hood of a car, her reach not long enough by half. In response, Billy handled her gently, the way he did with all women. As a man who knew his strength, he was always careful around those more fragile than him.
Which was pretty much everyone on the planet.
“Okay, you can stop that,” Sean said, putting his hand on Billy’s shoulder and pulling back with a little tug.
Billy let go and wagged his eyebrows at Lizzie. “See. Told you.”
She batted his tattooed bicep. “You know Sean’s just kidding.”
Yeah, the hell he was. “Come on, big man. Out.”
As Billy laughed, Sean frog-marched him to the apartment’s door, but they both got serious as he opened the thing. Stepping out into the foyer, he deliberately stood in the way of the staircase, trying to block as much of it as he could with his body.
Billy’s eyes went up to the top landing and his mouth got grim.
Sean shook his hea
d. “Come on, Billy. Let’s go.”
They went out of the house in silence and stayed that way while walking over to Billy’s custom-rigged Denali.
“I didn’t want you to come here,” Sean said.
“Couldn’t stay away forever.”
“Yeah, you could have. And I’d have preferred that.”
Billy’s face tilted upward as he looked to the second-floor apartment. “What’s it like in there?”
“Same. Exactly the same.”
“Freak you out?”
“Yeah.”
“You need help packing?”
“No.” Not from his little brother, at any rate.
Billy rubbed his square jaw. “Did you see him dead?”
“Yeah.”
“What did he look like?”
“Older. But like that damned apartment, the same.”
There was a long period of quiet.
Down at the end of the street, a car turned onto the road. Its engine was a muted drone that got louder as it approached, then faded after it went by.
“You heard from Mac yet?” Billy asked.
“I left him another message a couple of days ago. Next time I’m just going to tell the voice mail.”
“Wish he’d call.”
“Me, too.”
Billy leaned back against the SUV and cleared his throat. As he crossed his arms, his thick chest flexed. “So Lizzie’s nice.”
“She is.”
“Not your usual type.”
“And not yours, either.” Which was a ridiculous thing to say but he couldn’t help it.
Billy laughed. “Oh, relax yourself. I know she’s off-limits. How long have you been together?”
“We’re not.”
“Bull.”
“Fine. Let’s just say…there are complications.”
“Only if you want to have them.”
“Please, no Dr. Phil, okay?”
Billy shrugged. “Just haven’t seen you look at a woman like that before.”
Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Don’t be an idiot and—“How do I look at her?”
Idiot.
“Like you’re actually seeing her.”
“Whatever.”
“Hey, I’m glad.” Billy shoved a hand into his jeans pocket and took out a set of keys. “At least one of us might have a shot at getting married.”
“I never said anything—”
“Touchy, touchy, touchy.” Billy grinned and hit the car remote. As the Denali’s lights flashed, the lock on the driver’s side door made a little punching sound. “So you really do like her, huh?”
“Look, Billy, there’s no—”
“You don’t have to get defensive about it.”
“I’m not being defensive!” As Billy laughed again, Sean cleared his throat. “I’m not.”
“Oh. Really. Well, lemme remind you that as a linebacker, defense is my profession. So I’m good at spotting it.”
“On the field, maybe.”
Billy pointed to the ground. “And you’re standing on grass as we speak.”
While Billy got into the car and put the window down, Sean cursed and stepped onto the sidewalk. “You going to be in town over the next couple of weeks?” he asked.
“I’ve got some away games, but other than that I’m here. You know, I’m sorry you missed today’s match-up. But maybe you could come and watch me play some other time?”
“Yeah, absolutely.”
“Bring Lizzie.”
“We’ll see.” It would have to depend on whether she was around. God…he hoped she’d be around.
Billy stretched his arm out the window and the two gripped palms. There was a long moment as their eyes met.
“No looking back,” Sean said. “We don’t look back, remember?”
It was the credo they’d hung on to as scared children…then had reaffirmed as reckless college guys…and now lived out as best they could as adult men.
Billy nodded. “No looking back.”
He put the car in gear and drove away.
As Sean watched the brake lights fade, he got pissed off that their father had been such a bastard. Billy might not have been hit as much, but he’d been ridden hard for being “stupid” because he was dyslexic and couldn’t read very well.
Which was why he’d only been partially joking when he’d said Lizzie was out of his league because she was so smart.
“Your brother is very nice.”
Sean turned around toward the house. Lizzie stood in the front doorway, her body blocking the view inside, blocking the view to the stairs that went up.
Looking at her now, Sean didn’t want her to know what had happened with his father. Ever. Nothing made him feel weaker or more ashamed than the past, and he wanted to be strong for her. He wanted to be a man for her.
Not a frightened little boy.
Besides, there was the relationship she’d had with his father. Though Sean couldn’t understand it, it was clear she’d been close to the man and there was no reason to spoil her memories of him with stuff that didn’t affect her.
Sean walked up onto the porch and wrapped his arms around her. As she embraced him back, he closed his eyes so he couldn’t see the stairs.
“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” he said into her hair.
She chuckled a little. “This jeans and T-shirt combo isn’t exactly Miss America–worthy.”
He held on even harder. “The hell they aren’t. To me, whatever you have on is a ball gown.”
She stiffened, but then eased back into him. “You scare me when you say things like that.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid I’ll start believing them.”
He pulled back and looked her in the eye. “Believe them, Lizzie. Trust me and believe them.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The following Thursday, Lizzie raced for the phone in the living room, leaving a pot of water with a fistful of linguine in it boiling on the stove.
“Hello?”
“Hi.” Sean’s voice was warm over the line.
She smiled so wide her cheeks stretched. “Hi.”
“How was your day?”
“Better now.”
He laughed. “Funny, I feel the same way.”
Over the past week, he’d surprised the hell out of her. He called her every day at least once, sometimes more often. And when she was moonlighting, no matter what time it was when she got home, the phone would ring as if he’d set his alarm to her schedule just so he could check she was safe and sound.
“Are you in a car?” she asked. “I hear a whirring noise in the background.”
“Yeah, I’m on the road again.”
“I don’t know how you do everything you do.” Boy, from what she’d learned, he earned every penny of the money he got for putting those billion-dollar deals together. He worked around the clock and there were very few times when there were no arguing voices in the background as they talked.
Yet, even though he was busy, somehow she was always his sole focus when he called. There had been numerous occasions when people had tried to interrupt and he’d put them off curtly. He even lingered over goodbyes as if he didn’t want her to go. Every time.
“You sound tired,” he said.
She headed back for the stove. “Just not as many daytime jobs in downtown as I’d hoped.”
“Your car come back today?”
“Yes, thank heavens.” She stirred the pasta with a fork. She was glad to have a set of wheels again, but cutting the check for all that work had pained her…and so was what she was about to ask him. The thing was, however, it was the end of the month and although money wasn’t quite a problem, it was going to be in a little while. “Ah…Sean?”
“Mmm?”
“I hate to bring this up, but remember when you said I could live here rent free until you sold the—”
“Absolutely. Don’t you dare write that check.”
“Thank you…reall
y, thank you. I hate to impose, but things are going to get tight for me.”
“I’d offer you a loan, but I have a feeling you’d turn me down.”
“Of course I would! But I do appreciate the break on the rent, even though I wish I didn’t need it.” She cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder, picked up the pot and headed for the strainer in the sink. As she poured, a waft of steam shot up and she leaned back. “Whoa, hot.”
“What is?”
“Spaghetti water.” She put the pot back on the stove and jogged the strainer, making the linguine bounce. “So do you have another busy night planned?”
His voice deepened. “Oh, yeah. Very busy.”
“I think you work too hard.”
“Some kinds of work are a real pleasure.”
“You love what you do, don’t you?”
“I love what I’m going to be doing tonight.” The whirring noise in the background got cut off. Then there were some dinging sounds followed by a dull thunch.
She poured the pasta back into the pot. “Mergers and acquisitions must really interest you.”
“Mergers especially.”
“What are you working on now or is it a secret—” The sound of a knock on her door brought her head around and her heart to her throat. “Sean?”
“Yes?”
She started to laugh and ran out to the living room. As she threw open the door, they both hung up their phones.
“What are you doing h—” She didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence.
Sean dropped a duffel bag and dragged her against him, picking her up as he kicked the door shut. His mouth came down on hers and his hands gripped her hips as he carried her across the room.
She held on to his shoulders, so lost in the kiss she barely noticed that he was laying her on the couch and undoing the buttons down the front of her shirt…and working on the waistband of her jeans.
“I’ve missed my Lizzie,” he growled as he peeled back one side of her bra. “Mmm…”
He closed his mouth on her nipple while he stripped off her Levi’s and her underwear. Then he moved down her body, his lips going to the inside of her thigh and working their way to the very core of her.