“What you didn’t tell me was the Scarlet Daisy was involved too.” Blue Felt gulped again. Even the cat on his knee seemed to wriggle uncomfortably.
“We didn’t think it was important at the time.” said Blue Felt hoarsely.
“Really?” Laughed the mayor. There was a sudden pop as the fuse on the castle shaped piece suddenly ran out. There was a silence for about two seconds as both of the men stared at each other and then a loud explosion as the castle shaped object detonated.
It was only a small explosion, but Blue Felt shot a good three foot in the air, the cat on his knee scratching at the leader of The Golden Octopus wildly. The mayor did not move an inch.
“Who told you it was a good idea to bring a cat into my office?” said the mayor as smoke trailed from the ruined wooden object on the desk, filling the room with thick clouds of acrid grey smoke.
“Nobody.” Coughed Blue Felt. The mayor produced a small bell and rang it loudly.
“Mister Glove maker! Mister Glove maker!” he shouted. Blue Felt began to feel that this meeting was not going quite the way that he wanted it to. There was a short pause, both men sitting in silence and then the door to the mayor’s office burst open and a small man in a large leather apron who was also wearing some form of magnifying glass strapped to his head appeared.
“Yes Mayor?” he asked, squinting at the visitor. The mayor just pointed at the white cat on Blue Felt’s hat and the man approached and grabbed the cat by the scruff of its neck. Blue Felt stared in growing dread as the man disappeared through the door. “Tiddles!” gasped Blue Felt, but Mackrell ignored him.
“Mister Glove maker! Mister Glove maker!” He called and the man stuck his head back around the office door. “Size fives please.” said Mackrell, and the man nodded and disappeared again.
“I think mister Blue Felt you need to let me decide what is important from now on.” said the mayor, moving the hangman piece on his desk. Blue Felt noticed with unease that in fact all of the pieces seemed to be heading in his direction. “You see the way I look at it is that good for nothing waste of space Jenkins is an idiot, and his taking off in search of ruddy treasure is just what I would expect from someone with more than one screw loose.” Blue Felt nodded eagerly, feeling just a little naked without the cat on his knee. “But The Scarlet Daisy is not cut of the same cloth, my lad. Oh no. Looks to me like this map of yours has a little bit more to it than you’re letting on.” The thumbscrews were pushed just a little nearer. “So my one question of The Golden Octopus in general, and you in particular is what have you got to say for yourself, old son?”
“Well.” gasped Blue Felt, his mind spinning to try and think of an excuse, “The map is assuredly not real of course and Daisy must have taken leave of her senses to be interested in it, so…”
“Daisy seems to have been a bit busy too, possibly due to her looking for the map you have sent off with the biggest idiot this side of the Seven Tines. The pigeons that arrived this morning bore quite a bit of distressing news, old son.”
“Did they?” squeaked Blue Felt, wondering where the Golden Octopus pigeons had all recently mysteriously vanished to.
“Aye.” said the mayor. “Though I’d be amazed if you didn’t know already, Mister Felt. “It would appear that not only has Daisy destroyed The Beak’s stronghold, The Black Tooth, in the city of Nine Wells, but she also seems to ever so accidentally killed The Beak too.” Blue Felt swallowed deeply, trying to see if any of the windows in the office actually opened. It was a long way down but he thought it would be a good idea to take his chances. Sadly none seemed to have a handle to open them with.
“Riots in the streets, Mister Felt. Rulers deposed.” Mackrell sighed deeply. “It is very bad for business, is that. As sure as I have a hole in my bum I know that kind of news gives people ideas.” He stood, ringing the bell loudly. “The wrong ideas, unfortunately.” He rang the bell again. “Mister Thumbscrew!” he shouted. “Mister Thumbscrew!”
Blue Felt stood up from his chair, his eyes on the office door. The mayor did not move however as a bookcase on the other side of the room swung open and into the office stepped a man who Blue Felt estimated to be at least six and a half feet in every direction. He was naked from the waist up, a studded leather mask covering his head, two similar bandoliers criss crossing over his chest.
“Yes?” He said and the mayor pointed at Blue Felt, who took one look at the huge man and fainted.
“Rack number two for seven and a half minutes then lightly griddle.” said Mackrell and the man nodded, throwing the now unconscious Blue Felt over his shoulder and leaving the room through the secret door which swung back closed behind him.
“Bloody treasure maps.” sighed Mackrell, sweeping all the pieces on his desk into a draw. “No good ever comes from them, and that’s the truth.”
Chapter 26
~ Ciniomawr~
The Magpie sailed into a small bay that the newly inscribed map insisted was named Ciniomawr, the rounded bay surrounded by bleached white sand and edged by thick forest, palm trees and vines reaching nearly to the water’s edge itself.
“No sign of Jenkins.” Observed Bones, though in fact there did not seem to be any sign of anyone at all. They had spied the island earlier in the morning, the small forested shape jutting out of the ocean like an invitation. They had spotted the island a little earlier than they would have thought, as Dormouse had been fiddling the instrument, or “recalibrating” as he called it.
“Mister Dormouse has done an excellent job with this telescope.” said Daisy brightly, watching the island for any sign of movement. There was nothing, apart from the cries of animals from within the vegetation that was so thick it was impossible to see through.
“He has made himself pretty useful.” said Neep. “In fact he has turned his hands to quite a few things.”
“Such as?” asked the captain.
“Well he has rejigged the latrines a little making them much more comfortable to use.” said Neep brightly. Daisy however seemed unimpressed.
“Can’t say I have noticed.” She said.
“Well I don’t think you would.” Laughed Neep.
“Ah.” said Daisy, smiling. “Well as long as he doesn’t get in the way then that’s fine.”
The pirate holding the sounding line at the bow of the ship held up his hand and the Magpie dropped anchor a little way off the shore.
“Ready a rowing boat.” commanded Daisy, and a small boat with rowers already at the oars was lowered into the bay.
“As agreed Mister Bones will lead the landing party.” said Daisy, not taking her eyes off the shore awaiting any sign of movement as she addressed the crew. “I think he should be more than safe with cannibals. Bones, I want you to find the priest and show him this.” Daisy handed Bones a small piece of paper upon which she had written the strange symbols from the map. “It is imperative that we get this translated, for I believe it holds information about how to sail through the reefs surrounding the seven Tines. Without that translation we may as well just turn around and go home.”
Bones nodded, and securing the paper in his robes made his way over the railing and down into the rowing boat. They stood on the deck watching as he was slowly rowed towards the shore.
Bones watched the shoreline as it approached, the four sailors rowing him keeping a very close watch for any signs of trouble too. They were just about to ground the small craft on the beach when directly in front of them the undergrowth parted and out strode a fat man, dressed in a small belt of feathers. He wore a tall hat of brightly stitched cloth, and was carrying a long thin spear that ended with an evil looking point.
“I will make my way ashore from here.” said Bones to the rowers, “Pull the boat just a little bit back and stand water there. Any sign of trouble I will come to you. Whatever you do, do not approach the shore.”
“Aye sir.” growled the men as one, and Bones jumped over the side of the rowing boat and made his way ashore.
“How absolutely wonderful to meet you.” He said in an accent that could have cut glass. “Have you come far?”
“Quite far.” Said Bones, watching the undergrowth suspiciously for any signs of movement.
To Bones’ surprise the man held out his hand to shake it, and he did not seem to be perturbed at all when Bones stuck his hand out, the bones of his hand feeling lost in the dark man’s firm grip. “I am Mathias.” he said. “And you?”
“Bones.” said Bones.
“How wonderfully apt.” said Mathias.
Aboard the Magpie Daisy had her telescope trained on the meeting.
“What are they doing?” asked Neep nervously.
“They seem to be shaking hands.” Said Daisy, her lips tight.
“Best count his fingers when they stop shaking.” Said Neep and Daisy snorted.
“So what can I do for you, Mister Bones?” asked Mathias politely. “I am sure that this is not a social visit, though it does appear that one does seem to be living in quite a popular tourist spot at the moment.”
“Really?” asked Bones.
“Indeed.” smiled Mathias. “Ship full of people called in for a visit just last evening. Came to see Jux.”
“Jux?” said Bones.
“Our high priest. Took him for a spin on their ship they did. Nice fellows. Seemed to be very fastidious in checking he was well cared for.”
“Taken him?” said Bones and Mathis nodded. “We came to have these letters translated.” he said, showing Mathias the piece of paper. He squinted at it, took it from Bones and held it upside down and then the other way up.
“Well it’s old Scurthian alright, that much I can tell you.”
“Any idea what it says?” asked Bones hopefully and Mathias chuckled.
“I am afraid not, old chum.” he said. “Frightfully rare language is that and only the high priest can read it here. Sacred language and all that.
“Oh I see.” said Bones, putting the paper back inside his cloak.
“Indeed. Ass’s asses I believe.”
“Sorry?” said Bones.
“Just something they used to say in the old markets of Scurthia.” said Mathias, grinning. “Long gone some thousands of years now though.” He chuckled again. “Ass’s asses.” he said, a huge smile on his face. Bones grinned back He couldn’t help but do it really
“Well I suppose you really had to be there.” He said, his voice deep and serious.
“Oh yes indeed.” Said Mathias, “If you do want to get those letters translated then I am afraid that nobody but Jux will be able to help you with that.”
“Nobody else on the island can read them?” said Bones despondently.
“I am afraid not.” said Mathias. “Only Jux and he seems to have gone on a bit of a trip for some reason.”
“This was yesterday?” asked Bones.
“Yes. Just after dinner. A larger ship than yours sent a few men ashore and asked Jux to join them to help with a map.”
“And he just went?” said Bones incredulously.
“Well they did offer to cook him a man sized dinner.”
“A man sized dinner?” said Bones suspiciously, noticing that Mathias seemed to be actually licking his lips.
“Yes.”
“And he hasn’t come back?”
“No. Perhaps he is sleeping it off.”
“I think possibly not.” said Bones, turning to leave. “I am sorry to have bothered you. It would appear that we are too late.” Bones turned to walk towards the rowing boat and raised his hand for the rowers to approach the shore.
“Well if you see Jux then tell him to buck his ideas up and get home.” said Mathias sorrowfully. “Big festival coming up next week you see. Wouldn’t do for us to have to put it off.” Bones simply nodded, saying nothing.
“Are you sure that you won’t stay for a bite to eat?” asked Mathias as Bones climbed into the rowing boat, the rowers preparing to set out back to the Magpie. Bones just shook his head sadly. “Pity.” said Mathias. “We are having some old friends over for dinner. It should all be terribly jolly. Ah well. Toodle pip.” Without another word Mathias turned his back and strode into the jungle, disappearing into the foliage almost instantly.
Slowly the rowing boat made its way back to the Magpie. Bones was not looking forward to breaking the news at all.
***
“Damn it!” shouted Daisy, thumping the handrail to the quarterdeck with her fist. “Jenkins got here just ahead of us! Now what do we do?”
“No idea.” said Bones. “We need to know what those letters say or we have no idea what to do next or indeed how to get through the Seven Tines.”
Neep sighed. “And also to translate the sigils on the medallion you wear around your neck too, if indeed they are Scurthian too.”
“Correct.” said Bones.
The three of them stood there staring at the island for a while. Soon the sun would set and it looked as if their journey had stalled.
“Tell me precisely what he said again.” said Daisy.
“I have.” said Bones in desperation. “Though he did make an odd joke about ass’s asses or the like. Found in the old markets of Scurthia he said.”
Neep felt a tingle run down his spine. There was something in his memory. Markets and asses. Blue. Scurthia.” He racked his brain again. Neep knew that he never actually forgot anything, but that did not necessarily mean that it was always possible to cross reference things. Everything he remembered was in sequence and not easily linked to other things. He never forgot things, but equally sometimes it was difficult to find them if they had no context to anything else. Like ass’s asses for example, he thought.
“You have gone pale, Neep.” said Daisy, “There isn’t something else in your head you have forgotten to tell us is there?” asked Daisy sternly.
“Something somebody said.” whispered Neep as Bones and Daisy looked on perplexed.
“You remember that too?” asked Bones.
“No!” shouted Neep. “Just things I read. But someone has mentioned to me something about asses and what have you recently.”
“Who?” asked Daisy, resisting the urge to either throttle or give Neep a good shake.
“That’s the problem.” said Neep. “I can’t remember!”
“Scurgian.” said Neep suddenly. “He said Scurgian!”
“Who did?” shouted Bones in exasperation.
“He must have said it wrong!” shouted Neep. “He must have done!”
“Who did?” shouted Bones, grabbing hold of Neep and shaking him, unable to demonstrate the same amount of self-control that Daisy was doing.
“The man in the moon!” shouted Neep. “Follow me!” and with that Neep raced from the quarterdeck and headed for the main mast.
“The man in the what?” asked Bones.
“No idea!” said Daisy, running after Neep, “Come on, Bones! Follow him!
The ascent up the mast was quick, Neep in the lead with Daisy and then Bones in hot pursuit. Eventually they reached the crow’s nest and Neep swung himself into it, followed by Daisy and Bones.
“Oi!” said the old man sitting just below the parapet of the circular platform. Daisy noted that he seemed to be making soup over a small stove. “I wasn’t aware I was holding a party!”
“Who the hell are you?” asked Daisy, squaring up to the old man. Neep pulled her away, a look in his eyes that was trying to tell her to stop and calm down.
“Never mind that.” sniffed the man. “Who are you? Barging in here without even a simple hello. Could have spilt my soup, I could.”
“Do you live up here?” asked Bones incredulously, looking o
ver the side of the crow’s nest to the ship below that seemed terribly far away.
“I do. Gets a bit cold in the winter and the old place isn’t very good for storage space, but you know… I get by. Not a great place for parties though.” He finished crossly.
“I am the captain of this ship.” said Daisy, feeling as if the conversation was leaving her behind somehow.
“Well you need to learn some manners.” Sniffed the old man as Neep tried to calm the situation down and defuse the old man’s outrage.
“You said something about asses and a Scurgian market last time I was here.” said Neep calmly.
“Last time….?” began Daisy, but Bones hushed her.
“Might have done. Can’t remember.” said the man in the moon testily.
“Is Scurgian the same as Scurthian?” asked Neep The man in the moon looked at him crossly.
“Of course not” said the old man “Spelt differently.” Neep felt downcast as Bones and Daisy stood beside him, visibly disappointed. “Same language though.” Said the old man, “Think one of the transcribers had a bit of a lisp going on.” Neep felt like hugging the old man but resisted the urge to do so.
“So can you read Scurthian?” asked Neep.
“I can.” said the man in the moon.
Daisy’s face lit up and Bones began to fumble in his robe for the scrap of paper. With a flourish he pulled it out and gave it to the old man.
“Can you read this?” The old man nodded.
“Easily.” he said.
“So what does it say then?” said Daisy, a little more angrily than was perhaps wise.
“Well that’s for me to know.” Said the man in the moon.
“Name your price.” Said Daisy wearily.
“Pie on a stick.” Said the old man, licking his lips. “Haven’t had one of them in years.” he sidled up to Daisy and whispered in her ear. “Dream of them I do.”
“Right. Pie on a stick it is. Now what do the letters say?” she said.
“Do you think I’m daft?” said the old man and all three of them collectively bit their lips. “Pie on a stick first. Translation second.”
Daisy peered over the parapet of the crow’s nest and looked down onto the deck where she saw Mister Bucket hauling at a few ropes.
Overboard! Page 28