by Erica Penrod
“So, did you hear about Tosha and Landon?” Makell waited for me at the door after class and we stepped into the crowded hallway.
“No.” My stomach lurched. “What about them?”
“He broke up with her.”
“What?”
Makell split off as she dodged a backpack and met up with me again. “I saw her crying today. I feel bad for her.”
I nodded in agreement. I did feel sorry for Tosha, but inside my head and against my will, a little piece of gladness flew around like a bird released from cage. “Yeah, that sucks for her. I’m sure he left a graveyard of broken hearts back in North Carolina.”
“I bet you’re right.” Makell and I turned the corner and stopped. At the other end of the hallway, Gracie brushed her hair over her shoulder and grinned that coy little smile, letting me know she had a handful of mischief stuffed in her back pocket. And she was handing it to Landon. “Oh, boy.” Makell looked at me. “She’s in trouble now.”
“Yes, she is.” I marched up to my friend, ready to rescue her whether she wanted my help or not.
“I’ll see you around, Gracie.” Landon gave her a lopsided grin. “Hey, Halle.”
“Hi.” I clutched my book to my chest. A current ran through my veins and I struggled to breathe. Part of me wished that what I’d dreamt of last night was real.
“We’re still on for tonight, right?” He must’ve had a bottle of confidence cologne. The flicker in his eyes and smug smile he boasted now looked nothing like the guy that came to the barn yesterday, the one that showed some vulnerability. And there was no way the guy in front of me was the same one I’d dreamt of. That was the positive factor I took from this equation.
“Look, you don’t have to take lessons just because our moms want us to be friends.”
“That’s not why I am doing it.” His voice lowered.
“Fine. I’ll be there at five.”
“Good.” He flashed that movie-star grin and my knees went weak, which ticked me off. “Bye, girls.”
I reached out and braced myself against the locker. Gracie and Makell looked like they’d fallen into the wake that was Landon Doyle as well. We watched him walk away and I imagined we looked like stereotypical teenage girls drooling over the hot guy.
“Jerk or not …” Makell exhaled. “He takes my breath away.”
“You’re giving him riding lessons?” Gracie stared at me beneath a hooded brow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t get a chance to text you last night. I fell asleep early.”
“You could’ve told me this morning.” Her shoulders dropped.
“Gracie, I’m sorry. I didn’t set my alarm and I woke up late. Besides, I thought we agreed he was no good.” We walked towards our lockers. “What were you doing talking to him, anyway?”
“He’s in my first-period class and we worked on an assignment together.” She grabbed my arm and squealed. “Oh my gosh, he is even better-looking up close, and did you smell him?” Gracie fluttered her eyelids. “I swear I’ve never smelled anything so heavenly in my whole life, and you know he broke up with Tosha?” She clapped her hands together.
Makell and I laughed. Gracie had been boy crazy since the sixth grade and wasn’t improving with age. “We heard, and I’m sure she’s just the first of many Greyson High girls.”
“I don’t know.” Gracie opened her locker. “He seemed really nice. Maybe he’s not that bad.”
“Of course he’s really nice.” I let my backpack slide off my shoulder. “Bait always appears appetizing.”
“He’s so good-looking, I think he could reel in anyone he wanted with or without being nice.” Makell grabbed her biology book.
“Well, let’s not find out.” I shut the locker door. Gracie continued to talk about Landon as we migrated towards the south hallway.
Last night was nothing but a dream, and the sooner I forgot about the stupid thing, the better off I’d be. Only, forgetting wasn’t easily done. The feelings, the taste of his lips on mine were so vivid and so real to me, they made the memory painful. The Landon I’d just seen would in no way ever be the guy I’d imagined. I wanted to sit down and cry for the boy who’d held my heart, if only for a night.
6
Landon
This was a mistake. I shifted my truck into park and gripped the steering wheel. What was I thinking? I’d been so stupid to think a dang dream could act as a talisman. Yesterday, the dream felt so real, more like a vision guiding me to Halle, and I thought if she got to know me that eventually we’d find what I felt in my sleep.
But I was wrong. After the look she gave me in the hall when she saw me talking to her friend, I made sure she didn’t have a clue about how I was all torn up inside about her. Now I’d committed to spending several hours a week with her. She’d given me an out earlier today, which I didn’t take. My pride wouldn’t allow me to. She already thought I was a fickle jerk. The jerk part suited me fine, but I’m a committed jerk. If I said I’d do something, then I’m going to do it.
I opened the door and got out. I lifted my ball cap and brushed the hair back from my forehead. I walked towards the red barn but turned my head in the other direction and noticed the white farmhouse with the wraparound porch. In my haste to find Halle yesterday, I must’ve not paid attention.
There was a circular drive in front, which met up to where I was now. Flowers in orange and yellows were planted in rows around the porch, and there were mower lines in the freshly cut grass. Wooden boxes filled with plants hung beneath the front windows, and a porch swing hung in the corner. There were two rocking chairs sitting side by side, with an old milk can in the middle. The front door was red like the barn and I jumped as the door swung open and an older man stepped out. He crossed the porch and wandered towards me. He was an average height and build and his hair reminded me of my brown wool socks with heavy threads of grey throughout. He moved like he hadn’t been sick a day in his life.
“Howdy.” The man stopped in front of me. Spiderlike lines crawled from the corners of his eyes and his forehead wore heavy creases. His tan skin looked worn and sun-baked. “You here for Halle?”
I nodded. “Ah … yes, sir.” I remembered my manners and took his outstretched hand. “Landon Doyle.”
His blue eyes brightened. “You’re Travis and Nikki’s boy.” He smiled, revealing a deep dimple in his left cheek that somehow made him seem younger than before. His grip was tight as he pumped my hand up and down. “You look just like your dad.”
“Yeah, I get that a lot.” My heart sputtered for a minute. Before Laney died, all anyone ever compared me to was her. She turned into an angel and I suddenly became a miniature version of my dad.
“Hi, Grandpa.” Halle’s voice echoed from behind me.
I turned and forgot about anything other than the girl in jeans, a white T-shirt, and boots. Maybe it was the white shirt that reminded me of the dress she wore in my dreams that caused my throat to tighten and trap the air in my lungs.
“Hey there, sunshine.” He opened his arms and wrapped Halle in a hug. I blinked, forcing the image of her in my arms from my head. This was harder than I thought, separating make-believe and reality.
“You met Landon?” She stepped back, and I noticed her eyes were the same shade of blue as his.
“Yeah. I used to know his parents before they moved to the East Coast.” Halle’s grandpa looked at me. “You come out to ride?”
“He’s taking lessons.” Halle scuffed at a pebble on the driveway.
Her grandfather’s brows rose in a quizzical look. “If I remember right, your dad was a pretty good rider.”
“Yeah, I think so.” I stood up and crossed my arms. “I played sports back in North Carolina. We had horses, but I’ve never taken the time to learn.”
He bobbed his head. “I see. Well, Halle here is a great teacher.”
Her eyes met mine and her cheeks flushed.
“I hope so, sir.” I liked the way she seemed a
little off-balance. Around her, I felt like I was the one walking the tightrope.
“Come on, we better get started,” Halle said, her face no longer rosy. “Bye, Grandpa.” She took off.
“It nice to meet you.” I gave a slight nod to her grandpa and hustled to catch her. My feet felt uncomfortable in the boots I’d dug out of a box piled in the corner of my room. The leather was dark and hand tooled and had little stretch. They were a Christmas present.
“Nice boots.” Halle slowed a little and I matched her stride.
“Thanks. This is the first time I’ve worn them.”
Halle looked down and then grinned. “Really? I couldn’t tell.”
I tripped over the edge, where the asphalt met the dirt. That smile of hers … “Your grandpa seems like a nice guy.” I changed the subject and watched the path ahead.
“He’s the best.”
“Does he still do a lot around the ranch?”
“Yeah, but not as much as he used to. He had some heart trouble a little while back, but they fixed it with surgery.”
“I wouldn’t have guessed that. He looked really healthy.”
Halle passed her horse tied to the post and stopped at the tack room. The same palomino horse I’d seen in my dream and out here last night. Goose bumps ran down my arms; that had to be a freaky coincidence. The strange thing was, I’d dreamed of the horse before I saw him. I could write Halle off as a manifestation of my subconscious, but the horse was harder to explain.
“He is now, but just doesn’t have quite as much energy as he used to.” She handed me a halter. “Have you ever saddled a horse?”
“Nope.” Insecurity felt like a rash on my skin. I wasn’t used to the feeling, and I didn’t like it.
“Let’s start at the beginning.” She led me out to the stalls, where a giant brown horse stood. Halle glanced at my slack jaw and worried expression. “Don’t worry. Tiny’s a big teddy bear.”
“Don’t you have something a little closer to the ground?” My stomach rolled. Now wasn’t the best time to discover that I was a little timid about horses.
“Why?” She unlatched the gate and motioned for me to follow her. “Are you planning on falling off?”
“No, but I—”
“Trust me. You’ll be fine.”
Man, I hated this feeling. I wished I never had the stupid dream, because I wouldn’t be standing here feeling like a scared little kid. “Whatever. Let’s just get it over with.”
Halle’s brows knit together. “No one is making you do this, and you don’t need to waste my time.”
“Sorry.” I reached for the halter. “I want to learn how to ride.”
“Okay, then.” We walked slowly to the horse and my heart pounded as we stood next to the beast. “Now reach out slowly and pet him. Then put the rope over his neck before you put the halter on his face.”
I managed to follow her instructions and she was right. The horse didn’t move and didn’t seem to care as I fumbled a few times before I got the halter on.
“Good.” She reached for the rope, handed it to me, and walked out of the stall.
I trailed behind her, leading the horse behind me. Halle stopped at the post where the yellow horse stood.
“Are you going to ride too?” I glanced at the other horse.
“No. I rode Fancy earlier and sprayed her off. I wanted her to dry in the sunshine before I put her in her stall, so she doesn’t roll around in the dirt.”
I tied the lead rope to the post. “Like this?”
Halle adjusted the rope and proceeded to give me instructions in a low and soothing voice. She didn’t appear frustrated when I messed up. “You seem a lot different out here than you are at school.” The horse was saddled, and we walked into the arena.
“What do you mean?” I don’t know why, but her comment felt like an offensive tackle.
“I don’t know. You’re just not as …” She didn’t finish the sentence.
“Not as what?” I fixed my eyes on her.
Halle’s eyes searched mine and fire rose in my belly when the look became more akin to pity. “You seem humbler.”
“Oh.” The flames rose higher and the anger felt much better than the vulnerability I’d felt since I stepped out of the truck. “I’m not concerned about your opinion of me. I just need you to teach me how to ride.”
A dark shadow cast over her pretty features and lightning flashed in her eyes. “Of course.”
A knot formed in my chest and I considered apologizing, wanting to see her smile again, but what was the point? This wasn’t the dream and never would be. I was determined to remove any doubt from her mind about what kind of guy I was. “So, is your friend Gracie seeing anyone?”
7
Halle
Music filled the air; the band played the school song and the cheerleaders waved their pom-poms as the crowd cheered at the first football game of the season. The bleachers were full and there was a tangible excitement as the team ran out onto the field.
Gracie stood on one side of me and Makell on the other in the senior section of stands, front and fifty-yard-line center. “This is so fun.” She clapped her hands to the beat. “I told you, this is going to be the best year ever.”
I smiled, glad she was too distracted by the coordinated chaos to know that sarcasm covered my lips like a balm. So far, this year wasn’t all that great. I take that back: Landon Doyle wasn’t so great. We’d had two lessons and I anticipated next week’s like I did a visit to the dentist office. Between the lessons and forgetting the dream, I’d devoted way too much time to him, but not tonight. “I hope so.” I grinned at Gracie. I wouldn’t spend another second thinking about Landon, the make-believe or real version. And thank the heavens above, or whoever oversaw dream production, that I hadn’t had another dream.
The whistle blew, and the first play of the game started. Zoned in on the quarterback as he scrambled to throw a pass, I ran my hands over my arms as a sudden set of goose bumps freckled my skin. I felt Gracie tense up beside me and turned to see Landon standing next to her.
“Can I hang out next to you?” Landon’s eyes glowed as he gave Gracie a lopsided grin and bumped her with his shoulder.
I rolled my eyes. Oh please … But I had to admit his flirting techniques were impressive.
“Sure.” Gracie’s voice came out in a high pitch, and I put my hand on her arm to keep her from floating off into the dusky sky.
Landon jutted his chin towards me. “Hey, Halle.” The playful tone and dancing eyes he’d given Gracie were gone, replaced with somberness and impassiveness—or so I thought, until I caught something hidden in his eyes, like coals on a slow burn.
“Hi.” I turned back to the game and rubbed my arms once again. Or maybe that was just me trying to blur the lines again between reality and my dreams.
Makell nudged me. “What’s he doing here?” She spoke close to my ear.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Not sure. Other than trying to make my life as miserable as possible.”
“So, I take it the riding lessons aren’t going all that great.”
“I don’t know, I guess they’re fine. He just bugs me—”
“Hooooraaayyyy!” We screamed and clapped as the running back pranced in the end zone.
“What do you mean, he bugs you?” Makell asked as the noise dulled to a low roar.
“It’s like I can’t figure out who he is. At school, he seems like this egotistical hot shot, but when’s he’s at the barn, sometimes I get a glimpse of someone else. Someone who doesn’t think he’s an eternal homecoming king.”
Or maybe that’s just what I want to see. I prayed that deep down there wasn’t a part of me that still hoped Landon could be that guy I’d seen in my sleep. The one I wanted to kiss me again.
“Maybe it’s all an act. Maybe he’s just as insecure as the rest of us.”
I glanced at Landon, who had Gracie hanging on his every word. “He doesn’t look insecure now.”
&
nbsp; Makell laughed. “I’d be confident too if I had a guy looking at me the way Gracie’s staring at Landon, like he’s her favorite dessert.”
“Should we intervene?” I remembered Tosha in the hallways at school this week and I didn’t want that for Gracie.
“It wouldn’t do any good, and she’d probably just get upset with us anyway. Look at her—she’s all doe-eyed and rosy-cheeked. I’d say she’s past the point of no return.”
“Great.”
“I think it’s best to just be there to pick up the pieces.”
“That sounds like a terrible plan. You know how easily her heart gets broken.” I couldn’t count the number of times we’d done this before.
“I know, but what do you do?” Makell gave me a soft smile.
“You’re right.” I rubbed my temples, where a dull ache kept rhythm to the band’s drum. If I wouldn’t have dreamt of Landon, this wouldn’t be so complicated. I’d be there for Gracie when Landon moved on, which by his track record might be tomorrow night, and I wouldn’t be fumbling with my own feelings. From the corner of my eye, I watched my best friend get tackled by the offensive play that was Landon Doyle. I drew in a breath. Makell was right: there was no saving her now.
“Are you sure about this?” I parked the truck in the last available space of the pizza place.
Gracie threw off her seat belt. “Of course I am. He’s really sweet. Once you get to know him.”
I bit my tongue and didn’t point out the fact that I’d spent more time with Landon than she had. “If you say so.”
We got out of my truck and walked to the entrance. Landon and Scott Davis met us at the door. Scott was one of those guys I’d gone to school with for most of my life but had hadn’t actually talked to. He was a basketball player and taller than Landon. He had wavy blond hair and pale green eyes that were beaming right at Makell.