Dr Shetty’s wide smile was genuine this time. ‘You stayed when things got tough, hearing Sanders out. That must’ve been painful for you. To have forgiveness, that’s a real step in moving forward for you. Perhaps that alone is helping you at least in some small way to deal with the stress of what you’re facing at work.’
Eve nodded, playing the star pupil, letting Dr Shetty believe she was doing her job in reading her. What she could’ve said was that it didn’t matter, none of it did, if she couldn’t forgive herself.
Instead, Eve smiled and thanked the doctor as they made an appointment for the following week.
Chapter 17
‘Evieeeeee.’
Mearns ducked back and narrowly missed being knocked over by the skinny, pigtailed girl who launched herself into Eve’s arms before hugging her tight.
‘Hannah, let her breathe.’ Cooper’s wife laughed as she came out of the kitchen into the hallway, wiping both hands on her floral apron. She waited for Eve to put her daughter down before taking hold of her just as hard, smile wide, eyes squeezed shut.
Mearns stood inside the Coopers’ front door feeling like an intruder.
‘And you must be Jo.’
She accepted Louise Cooper’s hug but stood wooden in the exuberant embrace that smelled of garlic and olive oil.
‘Come through, guys.’
Cooper stood in the middle of the rustic kitchen, a wriggling toddler in his arms, crayon drawings of Santa and Christmas trees stuck to the fridge beside him.
The house was larger than it looked from outside. It nestled in a quiet street in Cornhill, an overcrowded ex-council estate off Anderson Drive, the long grey strip of dual carriageway that snaked from one edge of the city to the other. The original developers had built upwards: sixteen-floor blocks scraping the winter sky, dwarfing the individual houses below.
Hannah danced around her father’s bare feet, making faces at her little brother. Mearns felt strange looking on, seeing her colleagues out of work. It was weird enough them all being out of uniform, never mind the cosy domestic scene. She was surprised to find herself yearning for a childhood she felt she never had. At least not with her father. She couldn’t recall a time she ever danced or fooled around with him. She smiled alongside Eve, hiding what she was thinking, letting the smile slip away when her boss looked at her.
Cooper laid a hand on top of his daughter’s head. ‘OK, Hannah Banana, don’t go winding your brother up. It’s time for his bed.’
Louise removed her apron, re-clipped her long dark hair at the back of her head and took her small son in her arms. ‘Food’s out, help yourselves.’
The table in the corner was weighed down by food. Quiche, pasta, bread, chilli, soup … Hot. Cold. Every accompaniment imaginable. Too many smells to count, all blending together to make Mearns’ mouth water.
Hannah pulled at her mother’s cotton top as they left the kitchen, the youngster’s high-pitched voice carrying as they went up the stairs, begging her to do the bedtime song.
Eve took a seat at the table. She looked as if she’d sat there a thousand times. Mearns followed her lead but sat on the seat furthest away from her. When she and Ferguson had gone to notify Lexie’s husband, Ferguson had told her what happened between him and the boss round the side of the dance studio. Cooper had extended the invite to Ferguson for tonight, but he had made his excuses.
Mearns had sat in the car on the way to Lexie’s husband’s work nodding her agreement at Ferguson’s anger, feeling it alongside him, thinking about everything he’d told her about Eve. Impulsive to the point of dangerous. The maverick approach finally catching up with her with horrific consequences the night of the attack on her and Sanders.
Cooper clattered plates against each other as he walked over to the table, bringing Mearns’ attention back into the room. He handed them both a plate and sat. ‘Tuck in.’
Mearns wanted to try everything but hid her excitement at the chance to eat home-cooked food instead of listening for the ping of a microwave oven. For a moment, they sat saying nothing, the odd clink of serving spoons the only sound as they heaped their plates high.
‘What’s the bedtime song these days?’ Eve asked while piling a slab of quiche on to her plate.
Cooper laughed, brown eyes twinkling. ‘“Wind The Bobbin”. Thank God “Twinkle, Twinkle” finally burned itself out.’
Mearns wiped oil from her chin and swallowed the bite of warm bruschetta in her mouth. ‘My mother used to sing “Rock-A-Bye-Baby” to me.’ She felt Eve’s eyes on her, aware it was the first time she’d given anything away about herself, annoyed that she had.
Cooper smiled. ‘They do say the old ones are the best.’
They sat a while, safe in the small chat. It was Eve who eventually pushed some dishes to the side and laid down the manila file. All three of them knew it was coming, but Eve looked sorry for being the one to bring death to the table.
She opened the file and spread out the photos. Mearns pushed away her own plate. No longer hungry, chit-chat over. Eve’s finger touched one of the pictures taken that morning. A macabre moment caught in time. A moment Lexie’s husband, found via the rental paperwork for the studio, had been spared.
Mearns and Ferguson had ushered him into an empty office in his workplace a married man and left him there a widower. Just in time for Christmas.
‘What the hell’s going on?’ Mearns’ voice sounded loud against the tiled walls. She remembered the kids upstairs as she looked across at Eve and Cooper, lowered her voice. ‘Sorry. This is Aberdeen we’re talking about.’ She lifted the photo, sure she could still smell the blood that covered Lexie and the floor beneath her. ‘Stuff like this doesn’t happen here.’
Cooper leaned back against the kitchen wall. ‘It does now.’
‘It’s going to get worse tomorrow.’ Eve pinched the bridge of her nose, her elbow leaning on the table, anticipating the media onslaught from her tip-off to Jenkins about Ryan Phillips.
‘Do you think you did the right thing?’ Mearns emphasised the ‘you’, trying to hide the brittleness in her tone, aware that she was in Cooper’s home. She didn’t care whether her attitude would eventually see Eve’s patience waning. But she did care if it would cause a shift in her relationship with Cooper. His friendship and support had been vital to her since she’d joined the team.
Eve didn’t look at Mearns when she answered. ‘I went to see Mr Ross while you were with Lexie’s husband. Obviously he’s in shock that there’s been another murder.
‘He’s worried about what it’s going to do to his wife once the press start on Ryan, once they realize who he was to Melanie. Elliott isn’t happy about what I did. He left a message on my mobile earlier. Thinks I’ve undermined all his team’s work.’ That was the one thing Eve regretted. She’d need to smooth things over with him. She sighed. ‘It was inevitable though; we were lucky to have gone this far without them sussing out what was going on.’ Eve slumped alongside Cooper. ‘So, yes, we did the right thing. Jenkins is scum, but she’s like a bloodhound. Let her take the rap for whatever scandals she uncovers about Ryan, and we’ll make the best use of that if we can.’
That was true. Ryan’s face would be all over the news-stands tomorrow. Mearns had read all Jenkins’ articles after what happened with Eve and Sanders. It was those front pages of the Aberdeen Enquirer, and the reactions from some of her colleagues, especially Ferguson, that had shaped her opinion of her boss.
Cooper leaned forward, picked up photos of both Melanie and Lexie and forced himself to study them. ‘What’s he trying to tell us? Both tied with venetian-blind cord, both injected in their arm, tongues cut out, headlines from articles they featured in pinned to their clothing. Melanie’s face hacked to bits, Lexie’s left untouched. Melanie sitting, surrounded by all this stuff. Lexie tied, standing, in a dance pose, nothing else around her.’
Mearns took a sip of Merlot as she looked at the red that dominated the pictures in front of her. ‘I don’t
know how the hell we can even begin to read the mind of someone like this. One thing’s for sure though, he’s calm, staying at the scene as long as he does to set all this stuff up.’
Eve shifted in her seat before she spoke. ‘How’s he targeting them? Is it a connection with their mention in the papers? Obviously he knew Melanie; it was easy to get her where he wanted her. Did he know Lexie too? If not, how long had he been watching her to know she’d be there alone?’
Cooper laid down the photos. ‘And what about Michael Forbes? I have my suspicions about him, but maybe just because he’s a slippery sod.’
Eve slid the photos towards herself. Mearns watched as Eve looked at the images, the overhead light catching the unusual brown tone to her eyes. Greenish brown. Intense.
Eve shook her head. ‘I don’t think it’s Forbes. He’s not clever enough. Or bloody clean enough on the forensics front.’
Mearns’ forefinger and thumb squeezed at the stem of her wine glass. ‘These aren’t random rage killings. They’re calculated – from the drugs to the tongues to the setting of the scene.’
‘I think you’re right.’ Eve nodded at her.
Mearns was surprised to feel a flicker of pride. She cleared her throat, feeling awkward. ‘I know we’re still waiting on forensics for Melanie, but I don’t expect anything. All part of his planning.’
Cooper sighed. ‘How many women are there going to be if we don’t figure out what all this shit is supposed to mean? If we don’t get to him first?’
‘We have to work with what we do have,’ Eve said. ‘The drugs. The cord used to tie both women.’
Eve took a sip of water. ‘I’ve got the team looking into any links between Ryan and Lexie, or if the women knew each other. We’ve got to hope something comes of it. Or that Jenkins’ front page throws up something tomorrow. Anyway, that’s the idea of tonight. A little break away from the office. See if there’s anything we haven’t explored.’
Two hours later, they were no closer to making sense of anything. Conversation had strayed to small chat, and Cooper’s wife had joined them at the table with a glass of wine.
‘It’s great to see you, Eve. The kids have missed you loads. My husband too.’ Louise smiled across the table at Cooper and Eve.
Mearns liked the woman, regardless of her obvious affection for Eve. It was hard not to. She was warm, genuine. Mearns felt at home here. Welcome, in stark contrast to her minimalistic flat. Able to ignore the fact that Cooper’s wife was a homebody, just like her own mother, because Louise had somehow retained her own personality and independence.
Eve smiled. ‘It was time. The endless hours of nothingness were driving me mad.’
Louise lifted her glass. ‘Wine, Eve?’
Cooper snorted. ‘Come on, Louise, we know how easily Eve gets bladdered.’
Even Mearns’ inhalation was audible. She glanced at Eve, who looked like she’d been slapped. She couldn’t help but enjoy the moment.
‘Jesus, Eve, sorry. I didn’t mean …’ Cooper looked like he was struggling to find the words.
Louise glared at her husband as she rested a hand on Eve’s arm. ‘He wasn’t thinking, Eve.’
Cooper shook his head. ‘No, I wasn’t. It was a joke. We all know you’re not a drinker, have never been able to handle your drink, even before … I didn’t think …’
Eve was visibly struggling to recover, blindsided by her colleague, her friend’s comment. Mearns flicked her gaze between the two of them, wondered if there were things unsaid about that night with Sanders, even if it was subconsciously in Cooper’s case. She watched as Eve tried to gather herself, as she fought to speak, relishing her boss’s discomfort.
‘I went to see Sanders last week.’
Cooper took a glug of his wine, placed his glass on the table.
‘You go to see her regularly.’
‘This time was different. This time I had to tell her I was back. She tore a strip off of me before I got the chance to.’
Mearns stiffened, Sanders’ reaction to Eve’s visit only confirming the truth. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Sanders must have felt.
Louise placed a hand over Eve’s. Comforting. ‘What happened?’
Mearns shifted in her seat, uncomfortable with someone being so nice to Eve. She wasn’t sure she liked the woman after all. But then Eve began to talk.
Chapter 18
Mearns sat in Eve’s car, the creak of a stiff clutch as Eve changed gears breaking the silence. She could see Eve’s face out of the corner of her eye, her features bathed in orange light, then black. Orange, black, orange, black as the car passed beneath streetlights on the deserted road.
They’d barely said two words to each other since leaving Cooper’s. She hadn’t wanted to accept the lift home, knew it was an offer Eve had felt obliged to make. But Mearns’ silence wasn’t attitude this time – more a stunned reaction to what she’d just heard.
She’d been wrong.
Mearns had sat frozen as Eve told her story, hiding the heat of emotion. Her anger softened when Eve’s voice broke, told how Sanders challenged her. About her guilt.
But not guilt in the sense that Mearns expected. Yes, guilt about what happened, but also guilt for how she’d acted since the accident. How she’d lost sight of the fact that Sanders was still Sanders. She wanted Eve to be there for her. She’d forgiven her.
The woman Mearns believed put Sanders in that chair. She’d been so ready to judge, had ignored her gut instinct. Eve wasn’t the problem. Fear was. Fear she wasn’t good enough. That her father had been right. No job for a woman. For her.
She’d grabbed the opportunity Sanders left behind. Then began to feel bad that she’d profited from someone else’s misfortune. Feeling terrible for Sanders’ situation but secretly grateful for the opportunity, regardless of how it had come to her. But then there was the fear, the worry she would fail.
It had been easy to listen to Ferguson reel off and then repeat all Eve’s faults. To convince herself that she was fighting Sanders’ corner by taking the job. That Eve was to blame for the situation she found herself in, for the job even being made available. Eve had to be the bitch. Someone for her to undermine to make herself feel worthy.
But now, after listening to Eve relay her conversation with Sanders, she’d come to realize that Ferguson was dealing with his own guilt. Just like her. That he hadn’t gotten to Eve and Sanders in time. That Sanders could’ve been spared the life she now knew in that wheelchair. And they’d both chosen to target their guilt, anger and fear towards Eve.
Eve changed gear, said something about nothing. Mearns jumped as if she’d been burned.
‘Touchy.’
Mearns looked round in the muted darkness. ‘I was away in a world of my own.’
There it was. Her opportunity to say sorry. Her heart hammered against her chest. She didn’t know how to do apologies. She needed to learn fast. They were minutes from her flat.
She took a deep breath, held on to it when Eve spoke.
‘Didn’t realize you lived close to everything that’s been going on. It’s a nice area. Must be some pad you have.’
Shit. She needed to get this out. Eve glanced at her every few seconds, waiting for an answer.
She exhaled. ‘Bank of mummy and daddy. Wanted to put their princess in a tower when she moved here. And right at the top of it. The penthouse.’
Eve stared at her as the car came to a stop outside the Bastille. Another red-brick building, rare in a city of granite. The supposed silver city. The building was a converted factory. Luxury flats in the middle of less luxurious surroundings. The grand building looked on to a disused crumbling factory on one side and downtown on the other. It sat one street along from where they’d found Lexie, a street up from where Ryan had lived with Forbes.
Mearns felt awkward under Eve’s gaze. Unsure what she was thinking. Probably shocked she lived in the penthouse.
Eve shrugged. ‘I’ve no doubt you can handle yoursel
f. No need to be saved.’
Mearns frowned.
‘From the tower. Even slay a dragon or two.’
Mearns allowed a small smile. ‘It’s not all that. The place was fancy when it first went on the market. But the whole building is dated, in need of a major refurb. Lift’s not even working.’ It was the most she’d said to her boss without attitude.
Eve leaned her cheek against the car window, looked towards the top of the building in the dark. ‘Still impressive. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow.’
Formal. Safe.
Maybe one admission of guilt from Eve was enough for tonight. Mearns told herself the moment for apology was over.
She undid her seatbelt, opened the door, the biting cold rushing into the car. ‘Thanks for the lift.’
Eve stared ahead. ‘Don’t let the dragons bite.’
Mearns got out, made her way over to the glass security doors, each step exaggerated across the icy car park.
She swiped her key chain against the door panel and pulled the heavy steel handle of the door. She didn’t trust herself to look back.
She listened as Eve drove off.
Mearns waited a beat, and pulled out her phone.
Tonight, she didn’t want to be alone.
Eve locked the car door, having managed to get into a space that she might need a shoehorn to get out of in the morning, and walked the short distance to her door, keys jangling as she did.
‘What the hell are you playing at?’
Eve jumped at the voice, almost dropping the keys, a dark figure stepping out from her doorway. Elliott.
‘Jesus. Near enough gave me a heart attack.’ Eve had known Elliott would want to have it out with her but thought maybe she’d get away with an angry phone call this late.
Elliott stepped aside to let her unlock the door, looking about as happy as Eve felt as they went in. Eve busied herself taking off her jacket in the doorway, getting the heating and lights on, knowing what was coming. Elliott was already slouched on the sofa, rubbing his forehead the way he did at work when stressed.
Hold Your Tongue Page 11