by Leah Laurens
Hailey follows them out. “Well now, let’s not forget we are here to work and make money, okay?”
The women all pout, which Hailey finds amusing. It’s nice to know someone cares about her life. She’s also aware that she is probably torturing Jimmy.
Jimmy is looking down at his desk when he says, “Just do a background check on him. That’s all I’m saying. Can’t be too safe.” Hailey rolls her eyes, so the women can see and stalks back into her office.
***
Jimmy hears a thud in Hailey’s office and jumps up. He pauses, remembering his new resolution not to smother her. He hears her yell, “Ow!”
He runs into her office and finds her holding the back of her head. “You okay?” he asks.
“I was trying to plug in my printer under the desk and hit my head coming back up.”
Jimmy runs to the kitchen and grabs pain reliever and an ice pack. He stops and grabs one of the packaged muffin and then runs back to her office. But he forgot a water bottle. He rushes back to the break room for the water. Just before he gets to her doorway, he slows his steps to make it seem as if he wasn’t running around the office. Though being out of breath probably gives it away. He tries not to be overstep, just setting everything on the counter and quietly backing out. He’s determined not to be a nuisance but when she is hurting, his instincts just kick in. He has to help.
***
Hailey experienced an instant headache from hitting her head. She reaches for the pills, but remembers how sick she gets if she takes them on an empty stomach. Instead, she opens a packaged muffin and takes a big bite before swallowing two pills.
She tries to work and finally, the headache begins to wear off. She can’t let Jimmy’s sweet actions make her forget how he destroyed her life. She narrows her eyes as she looks at the time. 11:30. She decides to invite everyone to lunch, except Jimmy.
She walks out of her office, “Who wants to come hear about my date over lunch?” The ladies immediately jump up in excitement. Jimmy knows she’s testing him and he remains still at his desk, acting as though he doesn’t notice.
She looks at the other male employee, Jimmy’s friend, who asks, “Free lunch?”
“Sure,” Hailey replies.
Jimmy sits, taking deep breaths. Everyone gets up and walks out the front door and he sighs. Hailey walks with her squad next door to the sub shop. Everyone orders, and they sit down waiting to hear her spill about her date.
She finally does. “He was a total dud. More beautiful than Michelangelo himself and boy did he know it.” The ladies pull a knowing face. “If there’s anything worse than chauvinism, it’s vanity.”
The ladies are not yet satisfied and pry more while Jimmy’s friend scarfs down his free lunch oblivious to the subtle games afoot. “He was such a cliché. All he wanted was ass, and he didn’t ask me one thing about me. He just pointed out what he liked about how I looked.”
The ladies gasp and one says, “I wish a man would point out what he liked about how I look!”
“But you can’t take a guy like that seriously. He’s out the door at the next dog that walks by.”
One of the other ladies nods. “You know, I think I get what you’re saying, but I still think you’re crazy to pass up a guy like that.”
Jimmy’s friend answers his phone during lunch, and Hailey hears him asking Jimmy if he wants him to pick anything up for him. Hailey feels a slight pang of guilt that she left Jimmy out of lunch. But she clenches her fists remembering her mission to make him pay for his own callous actions.
Jimmy’s friend jumps up and orders a sub for Jimmy and pulls out his wallet to pay for it. Hailey wonders if everyone thinks she is a major jerk because of how she’s treating Jimmy, but then again, if they knew, they’d do the same thing.
“Well, there are plenty more fish in the sea, and I intend on meeting them.” The ladies are excited once again, giving her more unsolicited advice that she doesn’t want. She should get highlights in her hair and always wear lipstick…
Jimmy’s friend holds up the extra sandwich. “I’m going to take this back to Jimmy.” He pauses, as though he’s going to say something, but reconsiders and walks out the door. Hailey knows he’s loyal to Jimmy.
**
Jimmy sees his friend come back, and he gets up to grab his lunch from him. “Thanks, man,”
“Why does she treat you like pond scum, dude?”
Jimmy shrugs his shoulders and opens his sub as if he hadn’t noticed.
His friend returns to his desk. “Well if someone treated me like that, especially some chick, I wouldn’t take her shit.”
“You remember at the end of senior year when that video went viral?”
“Oh yeah, you guys got drunk and made out or something?”
“I ruined Hailey’s self-esteem trying to protect her.”
The guy looks at him blankly. “That doesn’t make sense.”
Just then the ladies burst back in the door, chattier than ever.
Jimmy says, “I’ll explain later.”
The guy makes a circle with his finger at his head to indicate crazy and then points at Jimmy jokingly. Jimmy smirks and wads up his sub wrapper and throws it at his friend. Hailey sees that Jimmy is still in a good mood and that her plan to make him feel miserable isn’t working.
She says loudly, “Alright people, stop dicking around and get to work.” She returns to her office and sulks in her chair, feeling no sense of hope that she’ll crack Jimmy. She’s starting to feel defeated, which would mean that he wins and that there is no real justice in the world.
She glances at her emails, seeing a ton that she needs to go through before the end of the day. She’s exhausted. Drained. She goes to the breakroom to grab some coffee and finds Jimmy pouring a cup. He quietly hands her his cup and pours another.
Hailey waits for him to invite her to another stupid date as she adds sugar and cream to her coffee. But Jimmy resists the urge and quietly returns to his desk.
Hailey wonders if he really doesn’t care what she’s been doing. Or perhaps, she has already broken his heart.
She wishes she were at home right now, on her couch with a blanket watching sappy movies, and that’s just not her style. She sips her coffee, pondering the copious amounts of unanswered emails in her inbox and gets back to work.
***
Jimmy is extra excited to get the treehouse done later, but keeps an eye on the clock to make sure he gets everything done on time. He came up with a few more ideas to make it extra classy to match Hailey’s new businesswoman look. He’s going to add padded leather seats that fold out from the wall and a cool chandelier to make it fancy. He decided to paint the floor and chair rail royal blue, with the upper part white with gold trim. He’s quite literally going to break the bank to finish, this but he wants it to feel like a new start for their friendship. This means everything to him.
At five, he places his papers in the folder outside of Hailey’s door and heads out without saying goodbye.
***
Hailey is sitting in her office waiting to give him one last sucker punch at the end of the day. Her fervor for revenge has exhausted her. Her inner-dialogue is constantly plotting throughout the day. She opens the door just as Jimmy is dropping his finished paperwork in the slot on her door.
He looks surprised to see her, and there’s an awkward moment where they both seem to feel like this game is getting old. For just a split second, they see each other as they used to.
Then Hailey speaks, “Excuse me, I’ve got to get ready for my dinner date.”
The ladies are getting ready to leave, but their ears perk up at this.
“Of course,” Jimmy replies. “After you.” He is polite and smiles humbly. Hailey doesn’t know how to take this behavior from him, because it actually seems like he is being genuine.
One of the ladies asks, “So, who is he?”
“A doctor. Very sophisticated.”
Jimmy feels as if a knife has
just stabbed him in the heart, and he looks down trying to hide his reaction.
Hailey adds, “Handsome, too.”
Jimmy walks over to his friend. “Hey, you want to come over tomorrow for my mom’s birthday dinner?”
His friend is pumped. “Free food? I’m in!”
Jimmy laughs. “Well, at least bring her flowers or something.” The guy nods and gets up to leave.
Hailey looks at the team. “Ladies, I just want to say you’ve impressed me this week.” She looks at Jimmy’s friend. “You also are showing promise.” She walks out of the door feeling victorious and gets in her car.
She has no date with a doctor, but saying that did feel good. She starts the car and puts on her favorite rock music as she drives to her favorite Chinese food place. She calls and places an order while on her way.
When she arrives at the restaurant, she sees the same older woman who’s been working there since Hailey was little. Hailey smiles at her, but the woman doesn’t seem to recognize her. Hailey hands the woman her card, and the woman looks up and says, “Beautiful woman, by herself? That’s not right.”
Hailey forces a smile. It doesn’t really feel as though the woman was complimenting her. It makes Hailey feel crying. As she puts the food in the passenger seat and delicious scents fill the car, she wonders why she doesn’t feel the same joy that her favorite takeout usually provides.
The sun is setting as she arrives home. When she turns off the car, the silence is heavy. Despondent. She feels so alone. She would have brought the food over to Jimmy’s and shared it with him in the treehouse when they were younger, but not today. The treehouse is gone and adulthood has led to consequences for things done and said without kindness.
Hailey looks at herself in the car mirror and feels like a fraud. She never thought she’d be living in this house, trying to make her ex-best friend’s life miserable. She sits on the couch with her food, but has no appetite. She finds herself watching a movie, but not hearing the words.
Her mind is somewhere else. She’s deep in thought, contemplating her own choices and her own misery. She is certain that at some point she left the main road of her life and got lost on a side street. She knows that something in her needs to change. Just realizing that makes her feel a bit better.
She doesn’t know what it is yet, but there’s a glimmer of hope. And that is enough to allow her to fall asleep on the couch. For once, she sleeps through the night without nightmares.
When she wakes, she doesn’t even realize it, but she does feel a more chipper than usual. She feels energized and decides to go for a walk downtown with her coffee. She parks her car by the cafe and gets a coffee to go. She thanks the cashier, who smiles back at her.
As she strolls down the street and sees the people walking their dogs and chasing their kids, she can’t help but grin. She discovers a bit more joy each time someone smiles back at her.
Every store and restaurant reminds her of Jimmy. She’s not filled with rage as she takes this walk down memory lane. She’s just overcome with a kind of mysterious feeling that something will change in her life. She feels, for the first time in four years, hopeful.
Chapter 5: Letting Go
Jimmy spends Friday night working on the treehouse. He’s up late finishing up the final touches and doesn’t even realize that Hailey’s car never left for her date.
When he’s finally done, he looks around and feels proud. Even if Hailey never steps foot in the place, he feels someone will appreciate it and enjoy it. He climbs down the ladder completely exhausted and when he goes to sleep, he doesn’t even have the energy to think about Hailey. He just passes out.
He doesn’t realize he’s pushing himself to the brink, trying so hard to impress Hailey. He may find that if he doesn’t stop trying to fix things, he will not be able to feel even the slightest bit of happiness.
He wakes on Saturday morning and has the urge to knock on Hailey’s door and show her the new treehouse. He wonders if she’s still with the doctor from the night before. He goes downstairs and brews some coffee as he wishes his mom a happy birthday. He decides to make breakfast for her, a nice distraction from his own current obsession. His mom is grateful to spend some time with her son, and they talk about what she might need help with as a birthday gift from him.
“All I want is for you to realize that you don’t always get what you want, but you get what you need.”
Jimmy laughs. “That’s a song, right?”
She nods. “I know you miss Hailey, but you don’t have to torture yourself trying to win back her approval. You can care about how she feels, but it’s going to continue to hurt if you care about what she thinks. You have to decide for yourself that you’re a good person and not wait for her to validate it for you. Everyone makes mistakes, Jimmy, even me.”
Jimmy looks at his mother, surprised at her insights. He isn’t used to his mom being so open and honest. “Wow, Mom. That’s a lot to think about. Thank you. I thought I was supposed to be giving you something for your birthday, not the other way around.”
His mom smiles. “Any mom would admit that all they want is for their children to be happy.”
Jimmy grins and then sighs. “Well, maybe not Hailey’s mom.”
***
Hailey gets back from her Saturday morning stroll down memory lane and feels like baking. She peruses the kitchen to see what’s in the pantry. She finds all the ingredients to make sugar cookies and starts to combine everything as she hums. She’s starting to feel better even though she’s in a place that holds so many painful memories.
She realizes that once she makes the cookies, she really has no one to share them with. She has been so caught up in her own head that she failed to care about other people and making friends.
She was so judgmental toward the girls in high school who were mean to her. She starts to wonder how she could turn that around and make some friends. She hadn’t realized that she needs people in her life until now. She’s been so used to flying solo that she hasn’t stopped to think about how nice it is to have a group of people who count on you.
She sits down with her laptop and searches for ideas on how to make friends as an adult. She feels silly doing it. She should know how to make friends. She wonders if not having strong friendships with girls had anything to do with her relationship with her mother.
She finds a charity event that the local school is holding this evening and decides to go. She’s no longer solely focused on that promotion and leaving town. Something in her today told her as she walked down the street, she’s not quite done with this town yet. She’s decided to live more for today and less for the future… and the past.
The timer goes off and she takes the cookies out. Suddenly, she remembers that it’s Jimmy’s mom’s birthday, and so she decides to arrange them on a plate and take them over to her. This doesn’t mean she has to be friends with Jimmy. She just knows if she doesn’t give the cookies away, she will eat them all.
She rings the doorbell, and Jimmy’s mom opens the door. “Happy Birthday,” Hailey says with a smile, genuinely happy to see the woman who showed her so much kindness growing up.
Jimmy’s mom takes the plate of cookies. “That’s so thoughtful, Hailey. Thank you. How are you?”
“I’ve been making some improvements to the house and trying to not work too much, but I’m good.” Hailey smiles and adds, “Well I’m glad I got to wish you a happy birthday.”
Jimmy’s mom gives her a hug. “Thank you, honey.”
Jimmy is in the kitchen and can hear the ladies talking at his front door. He sits calmly, resisting the urge to get up and make this about him. He sips his coffee and looks at the treehouse in the back. He decides not to tell Hailey about it right now, because it doesn’t feel like the right time. He wonders if his mom will mention it to her.
Jimmy’s mom says, “If you ever need anything, you know who to call.”
“Yup! Thanks!” Hailey feels better after giving the cookie
s to her and walks back home with a smile on her face.
After she spends the rest of the day cleaning the house, she attends the charity event. Hailey enjoys the band, but she doesn’t meet any new girlfriends. Still, she’s glad that she is making an effort. She stays up late watching romantic comedies and just relaxing. It’s something she hasn’t really done in a long time.
She’s starting to feel like herself again and even sleeps in on Sunday. As she gets ready for the next workweek, she nearly forgotten about her vendetta. This weekend, she’s been more focused on being a nice person and trying to be positive.
What she doesn’t know is that Jimmy has been having his own personal revelations. As Jimmy finds his own truths, it might throw a rock in her positive stint.
***
Monday morning, Jimmy wakes up with a knot in his stomach. He feels tired and his body fights him to wake up. He shrugs it off, forcing himself out of bed to pour an extra-large cup of coffee to take to work.
When he gets to the office, he sees Hailey writing all the employees’ names on the board with their respective bonuses. She writes his name last and next to it, it says, “zero.”
He stops to looks at the board, and Hailey turns around. “Well, don’t just stand there. Get to work.”
“You know what?” he says calmly. “I quit. You’ve been very unkind to me, and I’ve tried my best. But I just realized, I don’t want to be here anymore.” He turns around and walks out the front door, telling himself to get over Hailey once and for all. He climbs into his car, and when he shuts his door he says to himself, “I’m not in love with Hailey. I don’t need her.”
He doesn’t know where to go, but after a moment, he realizes he should go back to the temp agency. He clearly needs a new job. He hopes they’ll still work with him, especially if he can explain he had personal differences with the boss.
The knot in his stomach is gone, but now he feels an ache in his heart that might be even worse. He knows he made the right choice, but it still wasn’t easy. He knows it won’t be easy for him to get over Hailey. He’s going to have to try to date other people, where he is treated with respect. The tightness in his chest moves to his throat as emotions grip him.