by Ana McKenzie
‘Oh Merren,’ she said. ‘I’m so proud of you – what an amazing woman you are.’ She smiled, and it was only a little lop-sided. ‘All the things you do, everything you’ve already achieved. I’m in awe of you.’ Her hands tightened on Merren’s. ‘I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me about some of them.’
Merren shook her head. ‘You don’t have to apologise. You were going through such a difficult time. You had so much on your plate. I didn’t want to talk about myself; I just wanted to be with you, to help you.’
‘I know, Merren,’ Bianca said. ‘And I love you for it. But I want you to know, I’m never going to be so blind as to not see you again.’
Merren tipped her head to the side. ‘So does this mean you want to keep seeing me?’
‘In all your glory,’ Bianca replied, a broad grin sliding onto her face. Merren rolled her eyes and laughed.
‘Not quite what I meant,’ she said.
‘But exactly what I do,’ Bianca told her. ‘Because everything about you is glorious. The way you’ve cared for me the last weeks. Your willingness to help me solve problems.’ She held up the watch on her wrist. ‘I’ve been so afraid, so resistant to dealing with my issues, but now I realise that you’ve been right all along – there are things that will help me, make everything easier. You’ve shown me that I don’t need to be so afraid. You’ve done so much for me.’ She shook her head, her face suddenly sad. ‘And I have somehow managed to overlook you every step of the way. I am so, so sorry.’
Merren’s head was spinning. ‘I’ve fallen in love with you,’ she blurted, then clamped her mouth shut, mortified.
But Bianca laughed. ‘So Rita told me, the day after the gala.’ She shook her head. ‘I can’t believe a twelve-year-old could see it when I couldn’t.’
‘But you had good reason,’ Merren said and Bianca shook her head again, planting a finger against Merren’s lips.
‘Maybe a little, and maybe then you can forgive me for it, and give me another chance.’
‘If you’ll forgive yourself for it,’ Merren answered promptly.
Tipping her head to the side, Bianca smiled. ‘I’ll try, but I owe you so much, Merren.’
Merren saw her swallow, her face serious. ‘I want you to see something. I want you to know that I see you. I see you now, and I’ll never stop looking at you.’ She tugged on Merren’s hand and dragged her off through the house. ‘Your grandmother helped me hang it,’ she said, one hand on the wall as Merren followed her through the house to the living room. ‘I don’t know about framing it or anything yet. We’ll have to think about what suits it.’ She pushed open the living room door and stood aside, prodding Merren to enter the room.
Which she did. Only to come to a stop, staring at the painting on the wall, a gasp escaping her lips.
‘Oh my god,’ she breathed. Bianca came up to stand next to her.
‘That’s how I see you, Merren,’ she said, her voice quiet, serious. ‘I stopped and looked, and then I painted what I saw and this is it.’
Merren shook her head from side to side in wonder.
‘Naomi says it looks just like you. She says it looks like I took what’s inside your heart and painted it.’ Next to Merren, Bianca shrugged. ‘I don’t know about that. I just painted what I could see.’
‘It’s beautiful,’ Merren said, and there was hardly the air in her chest to breathe out. ‘Wow. How did you do that?’ She shook her head again. ‘Don’t answer that. You did it because you’re amazing. It’s brilliant.’ She gave a low whistle. ‘I think your career is just going to go from strength to strength.’ Merren lifted her arm to put it around Bianca’s shoulders.
She couldn’t take her eyes off the painting. The canvas was wide as a doorway and just as tall. And she stood leaning against the edge of it just as though it was a doorway. Nude, head dipped down as if in thought. ‘How do I look so relaxed?’ she asked wonderingly.
‘Because that’s the way you move through your life,’ Bianca replied. ‘Relaxed, considering, standing on the threshold where you belong.’
‘You see me as belonging on a threshold? In a doorway?’
Bianca nodded against her cheek. ‘I do. You’re leading us all into the future. Most of us are afraid, at least a little, of the future, but you’re not. You’re building a vision of it and are determined to bring it to pass.’ She turned and Merren watched Bianca smile at her. ‘You’ll drag the world kicking and screaming into it, if you have to. And you’ll make it a more tolerant, vibrant, diverse, and caring world.’
Merren laughed, a little nervously. ‘That sounds like a big task.’
‘Yes, but while you were away, I went back over everything you’d said and done, and I believe you’ll do it, Merren.’
Merren shrugged. ‘I can’t take all the credit, you know. I’m the way Mum and Gran made me.’
‘I know. I envy you such strong female bonds in your life. I’ve let so many of mine fall away since Bess died. I didn’t think I had, but it’s true.’
‘I’ll loan you some of mine,’ Merren said, turning from the painting and looking at its artist instead. ‘And you can step through that doorway with me, if you like. Just like that article in the paper said about us. The perfect marriage between art and tech.’
‘Sounds well-balanced,’ Bianca said, a smile on her face.
‘Yes, that’s it. We’re not worlds apart in who we are. We are simply the natural balance for each other.’
Bianca tipped her head to the side. ‘Hmm. I like that.’
Touching light fingers to Bianca’s face, Merren breathed her in. ‘I want to keep seeing you, Bianca. I’ve fallen in love with you. I don’t care that I’m so much younger; I just want to spend my time getting to know you better and better every day.’
The skin on Bianca’s face was so soft, with such a glow to it. Her lips parted in a half-smile and Merren wanted to kiss them. She traced a finger over them, then dipped her head, kissing her, feeling Bianca step fully into the embrace, winding her arms around Merren’s neck, her mouth tender and warm. When they broke apart, Bianca’s eyes were shining as though they could see perfectly well.
‘I’m ready,’ she said. ‘Merren, I’m ready to step through the doorway with you and see whatever’s on the other side.’ She smiled. ‘Just don’t let go of my hand.’
A warm flush blossomed inside Merren like a flower.
‘I never will,’ she promised.
The End.
About the Author
Ana McKenzie is the contemporary romance penname of Kate Genet, a New Zealand writer passionate about stories of strong women who love other women. She lives with her wife Valerie and also writes historical romances under the name Lily Hammond.
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