People weren’t lying when they said regret is a dish better served cold. Seeing all this, reading all this, he was frozen with a blind fury he didn’t know what to do with. He was mad at himself, Kayla, and every person who dared to harm Braya.
They had shit to do, but before that, the two of them were going to talk, really fucking talk for the first time. He needed to know everything. This mission had always been personal for him. Kayla had asked for help, but now, he had another objective—getting Braya out of it without causing more damage than he already had. That meant he needed to lay some of his own shit out there. Son of a bitch!
Chapter Thirteen
Braya heard the door close and finally let out a deep sigh. She had been playing possum for over an hour, and it had started to wear on her nerves. Now, she could berate herself in peace or maybe while she cried in the shower. She wasn’t exactly sure yet, it was all still too fresh. One thing she was sure of, she was a hussy, that was all there was to it or maybe a slut. Hell, if she had her phone she would have googled both words just to see which one fit her best. Of course, her phone was somewhere back in Kentucky with a bunch of bikers she didn’t know, but her sister said were good guys. Hadn’t she learned a damn thing in her life? Why the hell did she keep on ending up in these types of situations?
Not the sex, hell Braya had never once had a one-night stand until now. Even thinking about it, she realized it couldn’t be really called a one-night stand because it was in the middle of the fucking day and it lasted an hour, maybe two. So, was it a booty call? No, she hadn’t called him, just opened her legs and offered it right up. She would have to look at the office to see if they offered rooms by the hour that would fit. Yep, totally hussy territory.
It was all kinds of funny if she thought about it too hard. For most of her life, she had protected herself by being the ‘good girl.’ When her family encouraged bad behavior, she ran for good. Reading books on manners so she could act shy and polite. She even dressed like a nun and adopted an attitude so different from anything she had ever known. She watched prissy girls and mimicked them. Even Kayla played a part in her act. They had been young when their parents married, but even at four, Braya had already seen things no child should. Her mother had used every asset at her disposal to get what she wanted, including her daughter... many, many times. Even bragged about it, telling Braya to use what she had given her to get ahead in the world, but until that moment, she never had.
It wasn’t like she had never had sex before, she had. She’d just never allowed herself to be used like that before, or at least, she didn’t think so. She had standards, only having sex with a person if they were in a committed relationship even if at times that was a joke. She was hardly naïve, and her taste in men wasn’t the greatest, but she still had the illusion to hold on to... until now. Now, it was right out there front and center. She and Ryker “Crash” St. John didn’t even know each other, let alone have a relationship and never would.
Braya flipped over and screamed into her pillow. This sucked. She liked every second of it and wanted to do it all over again—even with him treating her like just another piece of ass. She might be trying to label herself into feeling bad about it, but in actuality, a part of her loved it—the freedom of it. Hell, if he walked back in the room, dropped his pants, and told her to suck his dick, she would do it in a fucking heartbeat, and wasn’t that telling? Maybe she had more in common with her mother than she ever believed. She still craved him and would do just about anything to feel the way she did an hour or so ago... again and again.
The sex. That was such a tame word for what they had just done. It was beyond regular sex. If she were to ask Crash, she was pretty positive he call it fucking, but even that didn’t describe it for Braya. More like mind-blowing, enlightening, earth-shattering, orgasmic ecstasy. At least until the end when he climbed off her, cleaned himself up, and laid down in the other bed, acting like he was going to sleep, when actually, he just laid there, waiting just like her.
Braya wasn’t exactly sure what she had expected. Crash didn’t seem like the warm cuddly type of man, but what he’d done cheapened it and made her feel dirty. Hence, her calling herself names and berating herself. The two of them were so different. She doubted he even thought about it as he laid in the bed, probably couldn’t wait until she “fell” asleep to get the hell out of there. Now, she had aches in new places and a bucket full of guilt added to her already shitty outlook on life at the moment. Getting up, she gathered her things and went toward the bathroom only to stop when she heard him practically yelling. She couldn’t resist moving toward the door to hear more if she tried.
She figured out pretty damn quick Crash was talking on the phone. And holy crap, Jewell hadn’t been kidding. Just from what she could overhear, the two of them definitely had a shit ton of stuff to work out. Braya took note of the name Evie. She didn’t know if she would ask about it, but it seemed important. Even if it was a little shallow, she kind of got a bit of thrill when he said she was too good for people like Jewell. It wasn’t true but at least made it seem like the man thought about her in a different way, other than a booty call. But then again, he was pissed, so who really knew?
She was just about to walk away again when she heard another deep voice talking to Crash, definitely not on the phone. She figured, what the hell, the damage was already done, and people had a tendency to be more forthcoming when they didn’t think anyone else was listening. They had yet to discuss anything beyond what they did back at his clubhouse. She had no clue who was following them or even what the note she delivered to him said. She probably should have thought about that before offering herself up on a silver platter to him. One look at Crash wrapped in only a towel, drops of water still trailing down his fantastic body, and she was like, Take me, Daddy, and all other thoughts whipped right out of her mind.
Now though, she wasn’t as distracted. None of what she was hearing was a surprise. Some made her want to open the door and ask some of her own questions, but for the time being, she was fine with just listening until the very end when she turned around and went into the bathroom. No good was going to come from what she suspected the mystery man just handed Crash.
Everything from her past and present ran through her head as she wondered how good the mystery man’s “boys” were at finding things out. Braya had changed her name, disassociating herself from her mother and “family,” but then again, she had given that information freely back at the clubhouse. Only because it suited her purpose and opened another possible player into whatever Kayla had gotten herself into. A part of her had known Tuck would check her out—just a periphery look, to make sure what she said and who she was, was the truth—and maybe look into her family a little, but she didn’t think she would actually be the subject of investigation. Damn, she could only imagine what he was reading and seeing at the moment. She knew the information was out there to be had, but she had hoped there would never come a time where she needed to talk about it or explain anything to another person. As far as she was concerned, it was the past. She had dealt with it and moved on.
She took a little extra time after getting out of the shower to get the snarls and tangles out of her hair before rebraiding it. She even used some of the lotion Rave had given her to lessen the redness in her windburned cheeks. But after that, she didn’t have anything else to do besides getting dressed and wait for whatever was going to come next. Putting on her clothes, jeans and a t-shirt, she walked out of the bathroom and looked right at Crash, standing by the door, and she knew, didn’t even have to ask. He knew everything. Every secret she had ever kept and didn’t want to think about again. Taking her dirty clothes to the bag on the bed, she folded them and placed them back inside, buying time or avoiding all of it, she wasn’t sure. The sound of his voice made her straighten.
“We need to talk.”
No woman liked those words said to her... ever, but Braya especially didn’t like them now or the tone in his voi
ce, soft, sympathetic even. She would have much preferred his gruff, blunt business voice compared to this. Turning around, she sat on the bed and braced herself for whatever was going to come next.
He seemed to fidget although she doubted a man like Crash ever fidgeted, but he was uncomfortable about whatever he was going to say next.
“If I would have known what happened to you, I wouldn’t have fucked you.”
Well damn, that wasn’t exactly what she was expecting, but it pissed her off. She couldn’t help herself.,
“Damn, I don’t know what’s worse, you thinking of me as just another piece of ass or pitying me,” she said as blandly as possible, shaking her head. “I’m going to have to go with the latter; the pity definitely burns a little deeper. Listen, I can only assume what your “boys” have dug up, but I can assure you it wasn’t even close to all of it. I’m not saying that to get some warm, fuzzy, feel sorry for me reaction from you, quite the opposite. I survived, I’ve moved past all that and so much more. Don’t pity me and don’t belittle me either by suddenly having a heart, Crash. You got what you wanted, we both did, just leave it at that and deal.”
“Don’t act like none of this matters to you because I can tell it does. Your eyes are red and swollen. You’re up, dressed, and showered when you should be still sleeping. I’m not a good man, Braya, but even I can admit I should have taken more care with you and kept this all business.”
“Why?” She knew what he was going to say, but she needed to hear the words first, to get confirmation of what she suspected. It didn’t take long.
“I know what happened to you, why you couldn’t be there for Kayla after we rescued her.”
“I wasn’t raped like my sister. Beaten, used, and held against my will, then thrown away but never what Kayla went through.”
“I read the reports and saw the pictures. You might not have been raped, but they did everything else to you, Braya. Don’t act like it was nothing. I just wanted you to know I’m sorry, if I had known, I wouldn’t have pushed you so hard.”
“Crash, I lived through it, moved past it, and I’m not fragile because of it. You didn’t push me any further than I wanted to be. I have a voice and believe me, when I want to use it, I will. Right now, this trip, we have a common goal and interests. The sex was a nice distraction for what’s going on, but it was just that... sex. I know damn well I’m nothing more than another notch on your bedpost. That shit your buddy gave you is tame compared to some of the stuff I witnessed or suffered through during my life with my family. Don’t make assumptions about me, Crash, because I’ll guarantee, they will never be the right ones.”
Chapter Fourteen
Damn it, he was continually fucking up with this woman. Why it mattered? He wasn’t exactly sure. Their time was limited, but for some reason, he felt like he needed to make it right. Maybe Jewell was somewhat right, and he needed to be the hero right now. He was pretty sure he was the villain in Braya’s mind, complete with a black hat, and he didn’t like it.
Seeing that information had changed his tune a little, but that wasn’t all of it—he had felt like crap even before knowing all that shit—it only emphasized it. He hadn’t done a single thing to provide her care or comfort—riding her hard on the bike, barely giving her a second to catch her breath, then riding her hard in an entirely more pleasurable way.
Crash took the chair away from the table and put it in front of her, straddling it, bracing his forearms on the top rung.
“I’m not going to lie to you, we’re in a shit storm that doesn’t make a fucking bit of sense right now. But as you said, I made assumptions and apologize for that.”
“Are you kidding me? Braya laughed at him, downright laughed. “Exactly what assumptions did you make? That I was an easy target? Yeah, I’ll give you that one. I wanted it just as much as you did. It wasn’t like I forced your hand... or dick. From what I remember, you were right there with me... ready, willing, and able.”
“I’m not talking about us fucking, Braya. I regret that shit, hell, I regretted it almost as soon as I pulled my dick out of you, but that isn’t what I’m talking about now. I haven’t even offered you a meal. Strangers had to give you gloves, and hell, I grabbed your sunglasses before we left, but I didn’t even pull them out of the bag to give to you. I’ve been on a bike half my life, and this ride is hard on me. For you, it has to be ten times worse.”
“Like I said, I have a voice and also have no problem using it. I knew we were up against a time restraint, that we need to get to El Paso before the bank opens. I’m cool with that. A sore butt and being a little cold isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But damn, Crash, you really need to brush up on your people skills. Here is a hint for the future. One-night stand, booty call, or even a quick fuck against the stall in a bathroom in a seedy bar, no woman wants to hear you regretted it. Just keep that shit to yourself from now on, it will serve you well and keep your balls from getting kicked in.”
“Shit, I can’t win with you,” Crash said, getting up from the chair and moving away from her, just needing a minute. Everything he said came out wrong. He wasn’t trying to make things worse or even hurt her, he just wanted Braya to understand where he was coming from.
“Just give me the information. Tell me what we’re up against. I heard enough, but I want to hear all of it. You can worry about my ass, stomach, and whatever body part you choose later.”
Crash sat back down.
“We don’t know where Kayla is. The only thing we know for certain is neither the feds her father has following you or the cartel have her. But right now, neither are a concern since they’ve dropped off the chase. We also know Duncan Stewart knows and wants the information Kayla has hidden at the bank, so I’m expecting some trouble there. If I could figure out a way to stash you somewhere safe and go in myself, I would.”
Braya held up her hand, stopping him from saying anything else.
“That won’t work, they need both of our fingerprints and identification. We have less than a day now. Your boys are good, but I don’t think they’re that good. The bigger problem, I’ve actually been to this bank before and know the bank manager, personally. Kayla insisted on it. At the time, I didn’t question her, otherwise I would say go for it. Get my doppelganger, put a sticker on her finger with my prints on it and have at it.”
“Shit!” Crash said, running his hand through his hair. He wanted her out of this, wanted to figure out a way to keep her safe and away from whatever they had waiting for them. The cartel was corrupt, feds mixed in paid by another fucker to do his bidding, those guys had no honor. The bounty on Braya’s head only put another element into the mix that made everything even worse.
“Do you know what Kayla has in that box?”
“Not exactly but a lot of it, yes, and I can see why her father is hell-bent on it not getting out into the public.”
“And you didn’t think it was necessary to tell me or even Tuck that back at the clubhouse?” Now he was fuming.
Braya stood up, her hands going to her hips, her little nose right up in the air.
“What did you want me to say or even do? I did what my sister asked of me, contacted Tuck and delivered your letter. I didn’t ask for you to drag me along on this little road trip. I was even willing to jump on a plane and meet you there. I was as honest as I could be with all of you without betraying my sister.”
Crash got up to.
“Why the fuck not, Braya? She betrayed you. Put you right in the middle of this shit without a second thought. Hell, she planned it all out. Aren’t you sick of getting used by people?”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” Braya laughed, tilting her head back, “after what happened a few hours ago. Listen, I don’t expect you to understand or even try to, but I won’t betray my sister… under any circumstances.”
“Even if it means you get yourself killed? Because I’m telling you right now, Braya, all those fuckers want is the information, you’r
e just collateral damage. If I know what it is, maybe we can stop it, get it out there where you don’t have to be affected by it.”
“What? Like expose Duncan Stewart and all his dirty deeds to the world? You think it’s that simple? Why don’t we just call up the local news station, and I can spill it all?” Braya got in his face and said, “Big problem with that, Crash. Nothing she has can be confirmed, we tried. It’s all a bunch of supposition. Kayla was playing a game, trying to find closure for what happened to her, and I helped. She needed someone to blame, so I gave her that.”
“You? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Yes, me. I gave her the information on her dad. I used every connection I had growing up with my mother and searched for years until I found something linking Duncan Stewart to the men who took Kayla.”
“You’re a fucking preschool teacher, what the fuck, how the fuck could you even…?”
“You keep on forgetting who raised me. I lived with my mother and her family until I was eighteen. The life I lead now is like your tats… smoke and mirrors. It’s easy to play the innocent, vulnerable girl. It’s easy to make people underestimate and dismiss you if you know how to play the game. And I know how to play the game, so does Kayla.”
“Well obviously, you’re not that fucking good because you have a target on your back bigger than a billboard right now, and you placed my club and me right there in the bullseye with you.”
“No.” Braya’s finger popped out and pointed right at him. “That’s where you are wrong. I didn’t do that, Kayla did. If I had my choice, you and your club wouldn’t have anything to do with any of this."
Crash: Ruthless Bastards (RBMC Book 9) Page 10