by Tricia Lynne
Ohmygod. For, like, the eighteenth time, my mouth fell open and I slapped a hand over it. Trey nearly ruined Brody’s career? Jesus.
“Well, Mr. Shaw,” the commissioner cut in. “This is a lot to take in. I can assure you a thorough investigation will be made into the collusion and health procedural concerns. Walker, how do you feel about scaring up Dr. Chase?”
As everybody but Dick and Mike filtered out, the commissioner handed Brody a piece of paper I assumed was a card, but I felt like I was walking through a haze.
“Lily, wait up!” Brody called as I made my way to the elevator. Hayes leaned over next to my ear. “Here comes the big finish. You’re not going to want to miss it.”
“That wasn’t the big finish?”
Hayes only smiled in answer as Mariana handed Brody a folder and he turned to me.
“Can we talk, Lily?” The eloquent, confident linebacker from Dick’s office was gone. The man in front of me was a ball of nervous energy shuffling his feet and scratching at his scruff.
As entertaining as this whole thing had been, the problem remained.
Brody was afraid I’d use him, and I was afraid he’d flake on me.
Plus, Brody might have put Dick over his knee, but I had no mill, no shelter, and after all this, more than likely, no job.
He could have at least given me a heads-up.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Rule Number One.
Start at the beginning.
Brody
My palms were sweating. My goddamn palms. What was it about this woman that made me revert to a thirteen-year-old boy scared to death to ask a pretty girl to the dance?
Because it’s not a pretty girl. It’s the pretty girl, asshat. The one you want to spend the rest of your life with. And you don’t deserve her.
Man, did she have to be so stunning? Her hair had grown out a little and was gathered in a ponytail at the base of her neck. She had on a training staff performance T-shirt and yoga pants that stopped at her calves and were snug enough to show off all her curves. We walked along the concrete path around a retention pond behind the main building. The city was finally getting a reprieve from the triple digits of summer, but I was sweating bullets, and Lily was letting me. She hadn’t said a single word. I wiped my forehead on the hem of my T-shirt trying to figure out what to say first.
Where do I even start?
Lily stopped, crossed her arms below her breasts. “How about at the beginning.”
Her violet eyes scanned over the pond, and my heart skipped in my chest.
My hand drifted to her cheek all on its own. “I’m so sorry, darlin’.” I wanted her to see how much I meant the words, how much I regretted every single moment of my life since she’d walked into my apartment for the last time. I knew my eyes pleaded with hers to see my sincerity. What a dumbass I’d been.
How much I loved her with every single breath and heartbeat.
When the tear slipped down my cheek, I didn’t wipe at it. I didn’t try to hide it. I cleared my throat of the lump and my voice came out grated. “I think I know, but will you tell me what happened in the meeting with your stepdad. I already know I was wrong, I just want to know what you went through that day. I fucked up, Lily. I’ve been protecting myself so long that I didn’t even give you a chance to talk about what you went through. I’d like it if you’d tell me, though?”
Fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she exhaled a heavy breath. “That’s a good start, Shaw. My deal with Dick was that I’d come to work for the Bulldogs—leave the Unruly Dog—and he’d fund a rescue for dogs too aggressive for most other shelters. You need to know that I knew what he wanted from me. I knew he expected me to lie to players. That’s why he wanted me to work for him so badly, but I wouldn’t do it. After my dad, I could never—” A tear caught on her lashes. “Honestly, I don’t think he had any intention of building the shelter, either.”
I couldn’t help it. I had to brush the tear from her cheek.
“The first time he came to me about a player, he wanted Douglas’s hyperextended elbow downplayed so he could have him on the field against Las Vegas. I wouldn’t do it and he told me, ‘If you don’t scratch my back, I don’t scratch yours.’”
Sniffing, she shook her head. “I may have made a deal with the devil, Brody, but you were never on the table. Your career wasn’t mine to bargain with. Ever. I gave up everything I loved that day trying to do the right thing for the dogs: the center, training, spending time with my own dogs, agility...and you accused me of using you anyway. The very thing I was trying to avoid by going to you in the first place.”
Lily shuffled her feet. “So, I lost you, too. Pretty much the worst day of my life so far.”
She pulled in a shaky breath. “The more I think about it...it wasn’t all on you. I was still worried you might flake on me. Whether it was money, or celebrity, cheating, or getting traded, or hurt, or...worse. So much of the hurt in my life leads back to this game. It has taken so much from me, and I’ve never played a single down. That’s why I couldn’t let go of the fear. I think I always knew it would take you, too.”
Turning to a bench in the shade, Lily sat, pulling one foot onto the edge.
I stared out over the water. The thing was, Lily was right. The game gave me a lot, but it took a lot, too. For her, it had taken even more. When I thought about all my own bullshit—the shoulder, the pain, the trust issues and lawsuits, the paranoia about being used—my common denominator was always football, too.
“I have something for you, Lily.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Hey, Dick Head! Take a flying fuck.
Lily
“I have something to share with you.” Brody slid down on the bench next to me, pulled a photo out of the envelope Mariana had given him and handed it to me. “I, uh, I found something in one of the photos Dick had taken.”
I rolled the paper over. It was a photo of me leaving Brody’s building with a cup of coffee in hand.
“I accidently spit beer on it, so it’s not like I’m some super sleuth or anything, but if you look close, you can see that the truck behind you looks exactly like the one from the rental house, the one that we tried to chase down.”
“Oh my God. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Brody...is that what I think it is?”
“Yeah.” He slid another picture into my hands. One with an enhanced view of the truck’s license plate. “I figured maybe you could give that to Officer Johnson and see if he can run the partial plate matching that make and model of truck.”
I turned to him, but I was absolutely speechless. My mouth hung open, tears tracking down my cheeks. There would be a ton of footwork, I’d need to call the ASPCA and the county sheriff and, and...my brain was on complete overload. “This is them. This is a name and an address and not just a suspected location. Authorities can chase down an actual lead on a person or people. Find where the dogs have been moved. SPCA might be able to get someone in undercover. These motherfuckers are going to get prosecuted.” Finally, I noticed Shaw watching me with an amused smile on his face as I babbled incoherently. “Brody, did you just save these dogs?”
“No, darlin’. We’re going to save them together. As a team. We’re a team.”
I squealed and latched on to his neck. “Fuck yeah, we are!”
His laugh was a balm for my soul.
“I need to give you something else, Lil. And I need to give it to you before I try to plead my case, because I need you to know it doesn’t come with strings.”
Fishing several folded papers from his back pocket, he plucked out a piece of yellow legal paper and handed it to me. “This is given freely, Liliana. It’s yours. Whether you and I are together or not.”
I stared at the lined sheet, the scribbled names and numbers, flipped it over and the back was covered, too. “What is this?”
His
shoulders rounded, his brows drew together as Brody focused on the sidewalk. “The real reason I came.”
“What about all that?” I waved a hand in the direction of the building.
“That was a byproduct. When I talked to Mariana yesterday, I started putting things together, and as I made calls to people on that list, I found myself in the right place at the right time, is all. I called Darius to ask about my medical file. He’s the one that noticed the cortisone shots.”
“I should have told you Trey worked for the Bulldogs. I didn’t because—”
“Because you didn’t want it to affect how I treated the good doctor.”
I nodded.
“It was smart. Much smarter than I would have been had I known. I already didn’t like him, and he knew it. I’m worried about the harassment, though. Has he bugged you since you’ve been here?”
I breathed out a sigh. “Nothing I couldn’t handle. Honestly, I think Dick took advantage of him, too. My stepdad knew I’d never consider marrying Trey. He told him what he wanted to hear.”
“Imagine that. Dick. Lying.” He huffed out a laugh, nudging my knee with his elbow. After a beat he nodded at the paper. “I didn’t want you to have to give up everything you love to do what’s right. Last night on my way here, I called every athlete, agent, team owner, celebrity, and philanthropist I know who happen to be dog lovers.”
I recognized several of the names on the list. “Brody...”
“I told them about the shelter, that it needed funding.”
When I figured out what the numbers meant, I about fell off the bench. Gripping his shoulder, I dug my nails into the muscle. “Brody!”
“You’ve got your funding, Lil. Enough to get the doors open, I think. You can tell Dick to take a flying fuck. Go back to the Unruly Dog if you want. You don’t need this team’s money, and you sure as hell don’t need to put up with Dick.” Brody’s smile was sunshine through the clouds. “You’re gonna get your shelter, darlin’. And you better get to work, because you’re gonna have a whole bunch of mill dogs that need a place to crash for a bit while they get their feet under them.” He opened a much smaller piece of paper. The one the commissioner had given him, and when he flipped it over, I nearly fainted.
“Here’s your start-up capital.”
So many tears. I could barely see to count the zeroes. Six. All lined up behind the number five. The check was from the league, not the commissioner.
“I don’t even know what to say. I can never...” I was a shaking, breathless, babbling mess. The sheer joy that poured through my very soul was alive and warm.
I jumped on Brody. I mean, like, jumped, jumped. A flying tackle leap that he wasn’t expecting and that knocked us both off the bench into the grass.
“Oww.” He rubbed the back of his head with me sprawled across his chest. “You throw down a pretty good hit, Costello.”
“Got it from my dad.” I’d never felt so light.
No, not true. I had, once. When Brody told me he loved me.
He laughed, sucked in his breath as I buried my nose in his neck, breathed in deep.
“Thank you,” I whispered, letting my lips brush his neck. This big, beautiful, tenderhearted man. “Why, Shaw?” I expected him to say because he loved me, or because he wanted to make me happy, or to apologize for the way he treated me. But what he said was the most perfect response I could have hoped for.
“For the dogs. Because it’s the right thing to do for the dogs.” He’d flipped my world upside down with a piece of legal paper and I was quite sure Brody Shaw had one of the most genuinely kind souls I’d ever know. Human or dog.
“If this is the reaction I get with that check, I can’t wait to see what you do when you open this one.” He kissed my temple and held a second check in front of my face.
I bit the inside of my lip. Sat up on my butt.
“Lily, what’s wrong.”
What was wrong was that money wasn’t going to solve the issue between Brody and me. As I stared at the second cashier’s check for five million that was from Brody’s personal account, I knew we hadn’t fixed the problem. Not really. We were only covering it up.
“I can’t take that from you. I can’t do this again.”
Sitting up, he dusted off his hands. “I thought you might say that. Which is why I’ve prepared a rebuttal.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve had a while to think. Really think. About my own issue. It’s not about money.”
Cocking my head at him, I lifted a brow. Are you losing it, buddy?
“I mean, don’t get me wrong. Money comes into play a lot, but it’s more than that. People want to use me. For my money, for my name, for my influence. When they’re up front with me, like you were the first time we talked about the mill, it’s not an issue. I don’t mind buying things for the people I love, giving money and lending my name and time to a cause. It’s the underhandedness I can’t get my head around. The people who try to worm their way into my life, or Photoshop my head onto somebody else’s body because I have the deep pockets.”
Ahh. I got that. “Or sue you for six figures because they weren’t smart enough to read CC’s body language and got nipped.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Thank God for small miracles.
Brody
“Exactly. They don’t know and don’t care who I really am, but only what I can do for them. When I accused you of being one of those people...there’s no excuse for that. I was wrong. I was out of line, Lily, and I might as well have been telling you that you couldn’t count on me because I pushed you to let me in, then I shit all over it.”
It was something I’d regret forever. Because I hadn’t only made her doubt me, I’d made her doubt herself, too. Dammit, I was screwing this up.
I ran a hand over my face. It was time to blitz. “I closed myself off for so long that I couldn’t tell genuine from fake anymore, and it cost me the genuine article. It cost me you.
“Your trust. Your love. Your laugh and smile. I will never forget the taste of your tears on my lips, or the sorrow in your extraordinary eyes. I put that there. I took the shine away.”
Dropping her head, she pinched the checks between her fingers. The tears she was trying to hide dropped down her cheeks.
What I wouldn’t give to take the pain away. I cupped her jaw.
She sniffed, lifted her head. “After Trey, I quit peopling all together. Unless they were dog people. And I don’t really let them in, either. Part of the reason I wanted you to go back to your place was because it was all getting too comfortable. Too real. I should have told you my plan to go to Dick, but a small part of me wondered when you’d let me down. Would it be after we found the mill? Or a month before the wedding? Or when our daughter was twelve and you drove off a bridge?” She wiped at her tears. “I was also beating myself up for losing the dogs again. It threw me right back into I have to do this, I have to do that. I can’t let other people interfere because then my heart gets broken.”
My stomach churned at the thought. “And I let you down. The one thing I swore I’d never do.” We’d taken each other’s deepest fears and breathed them to life. “I wasn’t there when you needed me most, darlin’, and I can’t promise that I’ll never let you down again. I know that now. I’m human. I’m going to screw up.”
I tipped her chin up and her watery eyes hit me in the gut, but I needed her to see my truth. “If you choose this.” I gestured between us. “There will be screwups and apologies, arguments and nights where I’m relegated to the couch, but I will not leave.” I shifted, held both of her cheeks in my palms as I let my gaze move back and forth between hers.
“Because I am totally in love with you, Lily. I’d rather hold you in an empty barn than sack a thousand quarterbacks. Or have you in my arms than money in my bank account. I don’t need a stadium full of fans
screaming my name if I have your laugh to listen to. I’d rather sit on your porch and watch the dogs play than play two more years of football, because the way the game makes me feel doesn’t hold a candle to the way I feel with you.”
“What are you saying?” Her face was so open, so bright.
“All the bullshit, the ancillary crap, that comes with playing this game—fame, loss, pain and tears, the worry.” I shook my head. “It’s not worth it for me anymore. The game itself has brought me a lot of joy over the years, but football is also the main factor in all the scars our souls bear. It’s time for me to move on from this game while I’m healthy enough to enjoy my life. I know you loved your father, Lil, but I never want to walk his path. The drinking and the pills to cope with the pain and what this game does to you mentally.”
I brushed my mouth against hers. “I’m saying, if you can forgive me for being a dumbass, I’m currently unemployed—I asked Miami for my release and they gave it to me. I was hoping there might be a job for me at your new shelter. I’ll clean poop and walk dogs. Wash kennel walls and scrub floors. I’m great at tug games and I do excellent doggie commentary.”
My heart skipped several beats when she started chewing on that lip. “Football isn’t the only problem, Shaw. We weren’t communicating with each other. Neither of us was used to being open with another person. We’ve both been guarded, and we can’t do that anymore. We need to go into this with open hearts and minds and have patience with each other.”
I nodded my agreement. “Absolutely. Let’s make a deal. At the first sign one of us is slipping into old habits, we have a come to Jesus and lay it all out so that we can fix it together.”
Lily smiled through her tears, a smile that made my heart light and my head dizzy.
She slipped the checks in the pocket of her leggings and shifted on to her hands and knees. Her nails dug into my bicep. “What about baths, Shaw. Can you do baths at our rescue? Getting those Mastiffs in and out of a dog tub is not easy.”