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“What the fuck did you do to her Gunner?”
Wait……What??
I quickly stood up and turned to Jeff. “I didn’t do a damn thing! We fell asleep watching a movie and she just woke up crying out from a dream. She literally just woke up crying. ”
I left out the part where she was crying out my name. I mean I was not in the mood to get my ass kicked for hurting her in a fucking dream.
“Jefferson! Gunner has been nothing but a gentleman to me all day and night! I can’t even believe you would think he would do something to make me cry!” Ellie was sobbing even more now. Jeff looked at Ellie and back at me.
“Dude man, I know you would never, it’s just I walked in here and she is crying and…. . fuck. ” Jeff said as he knelt down at the edge of the sofa. I pushed the coffee table back out of the way.
“Ellie honey what is going on? Why are you so upset? Is this about Ryan?” Jeff asked as he moved to sit down next to Ellie on the sofa. Ellie’s face flew up to meet mine. She looked so confused and upset. My stomach was in my throat and for some reason I felt like I was going to get sick. I needed to go outside and get some air.
“I’m going to step outside a minute and get some fresh air. ” I said as I moved to the front door.
“NO!” Ellie shouted and stopped me in my tracks.
“This is NOT about Ryan, I haven’t even thought about him hardly all day. It was just, it was just…. . . I guess it was just a nightmare. I…. . I…. . really don’t even remember. I just remember waking up being scared that I was all alone and I lost…. . I lost…. . . ” She looked back up to me again and her tears started to flow again.
“What did you lose honey?” Jeff asked as he held a sobbing Ellie in his arms.
She was looking at me with such sad eyes. What the fuck was going on in her head.
“I don’t remember Jefferson. I just want to take a pain pill and go back to sleep. Maybe that is why I had the weird dream…it was the pain medicine. ” Ellie said as she settled down a bit.
“Gunner, can you grab her medicine in the kitchen?” Jeff asked as he looked up at me with a sad look on his face.
“Sure, no problem. ”
I walked over and grabbed the old bottle of water I had brought out earlier tonight. I looked up and saw Jeff walking Ellie back to his bedroom. He was saying something to her that I couldn’t make out. She just kept shaking her head in agreement. I would give my life to know what they were talking about.
Holy fuck…. . . What the hell was she dreaming about? When I said I was going to step outside she just about freaked out. Do I ask her what the dream was about? Maybe I should. I mean she was calling out my name after all. What if I was a prick in the dream? Now I needed to shake my head to clear my thoughts. I walked over to the sofa and grabbed the pillow and blanket I had brought out earlier. I started to walk back towards Jeff’s bedroom. I stopped at the door when I heard Jeff’s voice talking slow and calm.
“Ellie, you cannot let something our mother said to you when you were little dictate your entire life honey. It was bullshit. She is a miserable person who just wants those around her to be just as miserable. You DO deserve happiness honey and you will find it. Trust me. ” Jefferson said as he leaned down to give Ellie a kiss on the forehead.
A surge of jealousy zipped through me. I would give anything to be the one who was comforting her right now. FUCK……I’m jealous of my own best friend? The pain I was feeling because she was hurting was killing me. I just didn’t understand it. I just meet this girl. How could I already feel so protective of her? Jeff got up and started to head out of the room but not before he stopped and gave me a slap on the back and wink.
“Hey, here is your pain pill and a fresh bottle of water Ellie. ”
Ellie looked over at me and gave me a smile that just about brought me to my knees…. again. Okay…when were these feelings going to stop taking over me like this?
“Thank you so much Gunner. I’m sorry; I don’t know what came over me when I woke up. Um…… did I say anything while I was asleep?”
Shit, do I tell her what she called out or act like I didn’t hear her calling out my name. “Yes, sweetheart you did. You kept calling out my name and something about someone being wrong but that’s all you said. ”
I watched her face as I told her what she had said in her sleep. She frowned and looked away towards the window.
“Oh…. . . well, um. …. . I’m sure it was probably just because you had been so attentive this evening. I don’t really even remember what I was dreaming about so…. . . ” She looked back over at me and I swear I saw tears building in her eyes.
Bullshit. I knew damn well she remembered her dream. Why wouldn’t she tell me? What the hell was she afraid of?
“Well, it doesn’t matter Ellie. You need to get some rest sweetheart. Do you need something to prop up your hand? Or need anything else?” I asked her while I shuffled my feet back and forth like I was five years old again. She smiled at me and just shook her head no.
“Thank you again Gunner for everything but I think I’m fine. I really do appreciate it. I’m sorry to keep you up so late at night. I’m just going to try and get back to sleep. I am so glad seniors have off tomorrow!” She said with a giggle.
I walked over and turned off the side light. Well, um…. . . good night Ellie. ”
I turned and started towards the door. I turned one last time to see her close her eyes and pull her blanket up and tuck it under her chin. She was so adorable……and I was so fucked.
I walked out and saw Jeff sitting on the sofa holding one beer up to his lips taking a long drink and another beer in his other hand.
“Must have been some date for you to bust out two of ‘em. ” I said with a small laugh.
“This one is for you. I thought you might want one before heading off to bed. ”
I reached over and took the beer out of his hand and sank down in the sofa and took a drink.
“I have to ask you Jeff, what the fuck did your mother say to Ellie. ”
“I always thought it was her story to tell Gunner but I’m beginning to think it has affected her more than I thought. When she was seven my mom was really drunk one night. I wasn’t home so Ellie was there to take the brunt of it. Funny thing was I was spending the night at a friend’s house which I NEVER did. I just had to get away from her. I mean, I was always trying to get in between her and Ellie. Protect Ellie from our mom’s hurtful words she lashed out all the fucking time. When I left she was sober……was not even drinking a drop of alcohol. I thought things would be okay. She talked about taking Ellie to the park even. ”
Jeff ran his hand through is hair and spoke something under his breath. I was pretty sure he had said fuck.
“When I got home the next morning, Ellie was sitting in the corner of the kitchen…. . . asleep. Still wearing the clothes she had on the day before. My mother was passed out at the kitchen table. I ran up to Ellie and as soon as she woke up and saw me…. . she just started to cry. Started rambling off how our mother didn’t want her anymore, how hungry she was, how mommy told her no one would ever love her…. . ever. ”
Jeff stopped and put his head back on the sofa. His body started shaking.
“FUCK! If I had only just stayed home that night, it would have never have happened and Ellie wouldn’t have this messed up idea in her head that she will never be good enough for a guy. She thinks her fate is to be alone. Like my mother. ”
Jeff took another swig of beer and looked at me. Tears filled his eyes and I was stunned. In the three years I had known this man I had never once saw him cry, even when he got hurt on the football field.
“Jeff man you cannot possibly blame yourself for what your mother did or said. You were ten years old for Christ sakes. That is not your fault. You couldn’t save her from every little thing. ” I said as a part of me just wanted to go and have a few words with their mother.
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“Gunner, be patient with her. I see how she looks at you and how you look at her. I think she is confused by what she is feeling for you. She told me tonight she is scared, she said she is having feelings for you she never felt for Ryan and she barely even knows you. ”
Holy shit my heart was pounding. She admitted to Jeff she had feelings for me? Okay, where do I go with this? I felt like I was about to get sick to my stomach so I took another drink of my beer.
“Gun, I see the panic on your face dude!” Jeff said with a small laugh.
“I’m so glad you think this is funny asshole. ” I took the last swig of my beer and set it on the coffee table. Christ…how did I even begin this with him?
“Jeff, I have these crazy feelings for Ellie. I mean shit; I have NEVER felt this way before in my life. First I thought it was just because you know…. it was your sister. You know…. you want what you can’t have and all. I mean, I literally wanted to beat the shit out of that boyfriend of hers five minutes after I met her. I kept thinking I would do anything to take away her pain while sitting in the urgent care room. I have this insane desire to take care of her. What the fuck is this?” I said as I sat back on the sofa and threw my hands into my air.
Jeff let out a laugh. “Dude…. . if I could tell you I would. I know that feeling of wanting something so bad……” Jeff just stopped and stared off into space.
“What’s going on Jeff? Do you have feelings for Ari?”
“WHAT?! What the fuck makes you think that! Ari is like a little sister to me. I mean, she is, she is…. . um she is annoying as hell. She talks to fucking much and she drives me nuts. The only feelings I have for that girl are feelings of annoyance!” Jeff said as he got up and took the two empty bottles of beer to the kitchen garbage.
“Okay, ‘cause I was a bit surprised at how much you two were going at each other all day. I just got the feeling there was some um…. . tension there. ” I said as I wiggled my eyebrows up and down.
“Fuck you dude. I had a shitty night and I’m going to sleep. ” Jeff said as he headed to the bathroom.
“What? Was Rebecca not her normal bubbly cheerleader self tonight?!” I called after him. All I got in return was a middle finger shot in my direction.
CHAPTER Nine
ELLIE…. .
I woke up from a total dead sleep. I sat up confused for a few minutes. Where the hell was I? My heart started to beep rapidly. I looked around and realized I was in Jefferson’s room. I looked down at my hand. I was surprised it did not hurt nearly as much as it did yesterday. I pushed back the covers and walked out into the kitchen. I heard someone and my heart started to flutter. Was it Gunner?
“Hey there honey! Did you sleep well?” Jefferson said in a very chipper mood.
“You must have had a good night last night to be so happy first thing this morning. ” I replied back with a yawn. I was NOT a morning person. I sat down at the bar stool on the island.
Jefferson let out a laugh. “You never were a morning person Ells. And no, my night sucked. I couldn’t wait to get home. Did you have any more nightmares?
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