“If you try to kiss me,” she said, rounding on him with a smile on her face for the benefit of anyone who might be watching from the kitchen window, “I’ll punch you.”
He’d been about to, only because he hadn’t known what else to do. “What—I look stupid to you?”
“At the moment, yes.” Her smile softened. “I told you I’d be waiting for you and I meant it. The waiting begins. I trust you, Dr. Pretty.”
She was the only person other than his immediate family who’d ever called him dumb to his face. He’d never loved her more than he did in this moment. She got in her car. The window was down.
“Thank you, mi hermosa bailarina.” My beautiful dancer. “I love you,” he said. “Don’t ever forget it.”
She waved before driving off. She didn’t, however, say she loved him, too.
He went back to the kitchen. The scene was awkward at best. Jake and Denise had never met. Zack had met her and didn’t like her. He was now weighing his dislike against the fact she was about to be the mother of his next niece or nephew. The struggle was real.
Denise didn’t deserve to be disliked simply because Luke had allowed himself to be convinced he wanted something that, deep down, he didn’t. That was on him. He’d been caught up in academia and a career path that had seemed, on the surface, to be perfect for him.
Never again.
Mara saw him. The real him.
Was he being selfish?
“Hey,” he said to Denise. “Last time you were here, you didn’t get to see the anaerobic biomass power generator. Let me give you a tour.”
Her heels, while practical enough under the right conditions, were meant more for the office or a classroom than a working ranch. He held her arm as they crossed the yard, then slid the heavy door to the generator room closed on its tracks. She wasn’t interested in the technology, and the room was hot and noisy, but at least they were alone.
“How are you feeling?” He had a moment of panic. “Is everything okay with the baby?”
She wasn’t quite four months along, but she was slightly built and the dress she wore did little to hide her condition. He wished so hard that things could have been different for them and their child, but time couldn’t be reversed and there was no going back.
“The baby’s fine.”
“Then why are you here?” he asked. “Should you be traveling? I’ve offered to come to Seattle and go to your doctor’s appointments with you.”
Denise placed a hand on her belly. “I’m pregnant, not disabled. I have questions. I want answers.”
He owed her this. Her life had taken an unexpected turn, too. They’d all have to adjust. “So ask.”
“They aren’t those kinds of questions. You’re going to want to bring our baby here. I want to know what I’d be exposing him or her to. I needed to see for myself.”
Now he got it. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Is this about Mara?”
“Of course it is.” Denise folded her arms, hugging herself. “She’s very beautiful.”
“So are you.”
“But it’s not enough.”
“No,” Luke said. “It’s not and never was. And it’s not about her, either. But you knew that already.”
“I did. I just—”
The wide door slid open. Jake stood there, the setting sun at his back. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said, not sounding sorry at all, “but Luke, can you spare a few minutes?”
Luke hadn’t thought things could possibly get any worse, but he was wrong. Jake was about to go all big brother on him.
“I’d better take you back to the house,” he said to Denise. “The last time Jake and I had a serious discussion, we exchanged black eyes and bloody noses.”
*
A half hour later, he and Jake were locked in the study Luke used as an office.
Denise was in the kitchen with Zack, doing her best to fake an interest in Finn and Lydia. Mac had retreated to the paddock to hang with his horse, freaked out by all the tension. Just when he’d been doing so well…
What a great example Luke was setting for him.
“How the hell did you get yourself into this mess?” Jake asked. He didn’t sound mad, more confused. “You’re supposed to be smart.”
Luke dragged both hands down his face. All he wanted to do was chase after Mara, to make sure she was okay, and didn’t read anything she shouldn’t into Denise’s unexpected arrival, but he had to deal with one fire at a time.
So instead, he told his brother the whole story—how Denise had walked out on him before the memorial service, and then he’d met Mara.
Jake leaned back in the leather chair. Luke could see his father sitting in the same position, wondering what punishment to mete out for the latest transgression teenaged Luke had committed. Luke had thought back then was rough.
Those were the good old days.
“You’re throwing away a life with a woman you’ve known for five years, who you planned to marry and who’s carrying your baby, for a dance instructor you met a few months ago,” Jake said. “Have I about summed it all up?”
“The abstract never quite captures the essence of the entire paper,” Luke said. “First I have to present my case, then summarize the actual results as compared to the initial expectations.”
“So summarize them for me.”
“Denise and I shared academic dreams, but my dreams changed and hers didn’t. The plane crash made me realize it.”
“That tells me about Denise. Now tell me about Mara.”
“It wasn’t anything serious at first. But then it was.” Luke wasn’t sure how to explain it. “She makes me feel,” he said simply. “When I’m with her, I don’t have to think about what I should do or the decisions I make. I just… I know what’s right. And I know what I want.”
Jake was nodding as if in complete understanding. “That leaves the baby. You planning to do the right thing?”
Did his own brother really believe he’d abandon a child? Is that what Jake thought of him? “It depends on what you think the right thing might be. I’m not planning to avoid my responsibilities, Jake. The baby is mine. It’s going to have a father. And Denise will have my support. She knows that.”
Jake’s hard face relaxed, or at least, as much as it was able. “How does Mara feel about it?”
“I’m not sure how she feels,” Luke admitted, “other than that the baby is the innocent party in all of this. She thinks I’ll reconnect with Denise once the baby is born and forget all about her.”
“Will you? Reconnect?”
“No,” Luke said.
“So what will you do?”
“I’ll go back to Seattle once a month to be there for Denise while she’s pregnant. I’ll help support her. I’ll go back in February for good so I can be there for the baby. But I’ll take Mara with me.” He hoped, but Denise’s arrival wasn’t helping his case. “And I’m going to be the best damned father I can.”
Jake sat for a long time, lost in thought, mulling everything over. “You say your dreams changed. If not for the baby, what life would you have wanted?”
Luke met his brother’s eyes—so much like his own—and was honest. There was no harm in it now. “I wanted to come home to Grand for good. I wanted to keep my share of the ranch. I wanted to help build this place up for the next generation of McGregors to come.”
“You can still do that,” Jake said. “We can set your shares aside and work out an agreement with our lawyer for when you’re ready and able to come home again.”
They’d already been through this. Jake had poured the last eight or more years of his life into dragging the Wagging Tongue into the twenty-first century. “The ranch is yours.”
“The ranch belongs to the McGregors. I’m only one in a long line of caretakers,” Jake said. “Our father left you an opportunity to become a caretaker too, if you want. You do. So take it. We’ll work something out.”
“Do you really mean it?” Luke asked
, not daring to hope. Luck hadn’t been that kind to him, lately.
“Why wouldn’t I mean it?” Jake asked, sounding truly bewildered and more than mildly insulted. “Do you really think I’m that much of a bastard?”
“No.” Luke didn’t think that at all. “I’m having a hard time getting my head around how generous you’re being. I’m not sure I would be if I were in your position.”
“Of course you would.” Jake leaned on the desk and pried himself out of the chair. He wasn’t quite as tall as Luke, but he had ten more years of muscle build-up on him. “I’ve got to get back to work. What do you plan to do about our unexpected house guest? Who, by the way, looks at Lydia and Finn with the same expression on her face that Zack gets when he has to change a loaded diaper. I don’t think motherhood is going to come natural to her.”
Neither did Luke. That was why he had to be there.
“Denise can stay in the west wing,” he said. “I’ll put her on a plane home tomorrow. I’m spending the night with Mara.” He had his key back and he wasn’t giving it up again. Ever.
Jake stopped before opening the door. He turned around and leaned against it. “I’m curious. What if Denise wasn’t pregnant right now? What if she had agreed to move to Grand with you and you’d never met Mara? How do you think things would have turned out between you?”
“If Denise moved to Grand and we got married, we’d be divorced within two years instead of five,” Luke said.
Jake nodded.
He headed outdoors.
Luke went for the kitchen.
The kitchen was empty. The whole house was quiet. Luke stepped onto the front porch. Zack was playing catch with Finn. Lydia watched from her playpen, which she treated more as a prison. She shook the sides as if testing the bars, an intent pout on her face. If someone ever slipped her a file in a cake, they’d all be in trouble.
“Where’s Denise?”
“Uh…” Zack said.
*
The ringing doorbell didn’t surprise Mara. She’d wondered if Luke would be bold enough to let himself in. She had, however, assumed he’d text first.
She opened the door. It wasn’t Luke.
Mara couldn’t find words.
Denise was tall and slender, with short, dark blond hair. She carried an air of cool professionalism about her. She wore a loose-fitting dress that didn’t quite hide the baby bump forming. Or maybe that was because Mara knew it was there. She looked like a scholar—a pregnant one—and someone Luke would have more in common with than he did with Mara.
The baby increased the number.
“May I come in?” Denise asked, so very polite.
“Of course.” Thank God Mara hadn’t gotten to the crying stage yet. She’d been feeling too sorry for Luke.
Denise stepped into the studio. Her gaze took in the entire room at a glance. Her expression told Mara nothing of her opinion.
“Is there somewhere we can sit and talk?”
Mara hesitated. The only comfortable space she had was her apartment. It was where she and Luke had spent long hours together. Taking Denise upstairs would turn it into something… tawdry. The word was one a former dance instructor had used to disdainfully describe a burlesque performance she’d seen in Las Vegas, and yet, it fit.
Because Mara felt tawdry standing next to this woman. Tasteless and cheap. What would Grand think of her, the other woman, when this story got out?
They’d rallied around her after Little Zee, but Luke was one of their own. Denise, so polished and educated—so smart—was perfect for him. The whole town would see it.
“Yes. Follow me.”
Mara prayed her knee wouldn’t choose now to give out. She could see herself falling and taking a pregnant woman down with her. Thankfully, they made it up the stairs without any mishaps.
“This is lovely,” Denise said when she entered the apartment. “I never would have guessed from the outside of the building.”
She sounded sincere.
Mara led her to the living room area. Denise took a seat on the sofa. Mara chose the matching chair. Then, she waited. She hadn’t instigated this conversation.
“I arrived at a bad time,” Denise began. “But I knew if I called, Luke would try to discourage me from coming and I didn’t want him to overthink it. There would be no reasoning with him then.”
She knew Luke really well. Mara’s heart sagged a little lower. That was exactly what he would have done.
“I didn’t come here just to see him,” Denise continued. “I wanted to meet you, too.”
“Why?” Mara asked. What good could possibly come out of this?
“He left me for a dance instructor. I was curious.”
“He didn’t leave you for me,” Mara said. “He says you left him.” And she believed him. Nothing the other woman could say would change her mind about that.
“I didn’t leave him.” Denise looked at her folded hands. “But he didn’t leave me for you, either. He left me for Grand. I knew what would happen when he told me he wanted to spend a year here. He wasn’t coming back to Seattle.” She met Mara’s eyes. “I have a question for you.”
*
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Hang on.”
He hoped Mara could last that long. It wasn’t that Denise was mean or evil. Far from it. But her cool rationality would have Mara convinced in no time that she was the reason Luke wouldn’t return to Seattle tomorrow.
A response came before he got to his car.
“Stay right where you are. I can look after myself.”
Luke had no idea what she meant by that.
“Does she have you at gunpoint?”
Two seconds later… “Get over yourself.” She added a smiley emoji.
It didn’t make Luke relax, exactly, but her next response did.
“We’re fine. TTYL.”
He played with Finn and Lydia while he waited for Mara to text him again.
Forty-five minutes later, Denise returned. Alone. She parked her rental behind Luke’s car.
“I’m not staying,” she said. “I have a room booked in town. I came to finish our talk.”
Luke sent the kids to the kitchen with Zack, then rejoined Denise on the front steps. Night was beginning to settle in and she had a sweater wrapped around her.
“I don’t want the baby,” she said.
All of the blood in Luke’s body fled to his organs, leaving his limbs too weak to support him. He crashed into one of the worn, thankfully sturdy, wooden planks.
“You’re too far along for an abortion.” He’d fight her on this, with everything he had. He’d sell his shares of the ranch to Weldon Scott, if he had to. He’d marry her, if that was what it took. That was what divorces were for.
And he’d hate her for the rest of his life for even considering the possibility. This was his baby, too. How dare she stand there and announce she didn’t want it, as if he had no say?
“Calm down, Luke,” Denise said. “I never said I want an abortion.” She smoothed a hand over her stomach. Her gaze never wavered. “I want to give the baby to you.”
*
Luke glanced at his watch. He’d had a little time before the gates to the cemetery closed, and while he wanted to see Mara, at the same time, he’d needed a few minutes alone. He’d wanted to talk to the two people who’d loved him from the day he was born, and who’d understand how he was feeling right now, because they’d loved each other, too.
If Mara didn’t want this baby as much as he did, then they had no future together.
It would break his heart.
He let himself into the warehouse, then Mara’s apartment, where she met him in the kitchen. She didn’t throw herself into his arms as much slide into them, making herself right at home, where she belonged. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment, wanting to hang on to it forever.
“She’s not at all like I imagined,” Mara said, tipping her head back to look up at him.
“How did you imagi
ne her?”
“I don’t really know. Less human.”
Luke had to chuckle at that. “She’s human. Very much so.”
“She told me I was going to ruin your career. That I’d never be able to help you reach your full potential.”
Thank you, Denise. “That sounds like something she’d say.”
“Then she said if I make you happy, that’s more than she’s ever done.”
That stung a bit. He hadn’t made Denise happy, either. She believed her career was all that mattered to her, but she wasn’t heartless, and someday, she’d meet the right man to prove her wrong—the way he’d met Mara.
“Anything else?” he asked.
“She asked me if I’d still want to be part of your life if you had sole custody of another woman’s baby.”
“What did you say?”
Mara reached up to cup his face. She pulled his head down so she could kiss him. It was sweet, and tender, and made him think of all the nights they’d spent together, and that maybe, just maybe, there’d be plenty more of them to come.
“I told her that if she was really wondering whether or not I’d love the baby as if it were my own then the answer is yes—although, it wouldn’t matter because you’d never let someone into your life who couldn’t love you both.”
Relief welled inside him. She really did know him. “Do you love me?” he asked. “You’ve never said so.”
“I couldn’t say it. Now I can.”
He knew her, too. She hadn’t said the words to him because she was afraid he’d leave her behind. If she didn’t admit to it, then it wouldn’t hurt.
The pop star had done quite the number on her.
“I’d really like to hear them,” Luke said.
She draped her arms around his neck. She hung her head back. The tip of her long ponytail tickled the forearm he had locked firmly around her waist. Someday, they’d have babies with eyes the same shade of blue as hers. They’d be dancers.
They’d be whatever the hell they wanted to be. He was placing no expectations on them. They’d choose the path they wanted in life. It had taken him too long to get here, to Grand, with the woman meant only for him in his arms, to stand in anyone’s way.
“I love you,” Mara said, soft joy in her eyes.
The Rancher's Secret Love (The Montana McGregor Brothers Book 2) Page 16