He hesitated for a moment with a last splinter of doubt stabbing at his ego. I nestled my nose against his, my eyes closing, and our lips met in the softest kiss, then separated for a second before neither of us held back anymore. It seemed we had both tried to deny the natural connection between us, both sure true love couldn’t happen so suddenly and completely, afraid of letting someone else into our hearts no matter how strong the attraction.
We breathed heavily when we broke apart and he pulled me effortlessly up into his arms, my legs encircling his waist, my arms around his neck. I kissed him slower, lightly biting his lower lip, as he walked with me toward the bed and sat me on the edge, standing between my legs.
His face was intense with doomed restraint as he grasped my hands in his and said, “I hope you can see that I left to let you go through training. I knew you didn’t need distractions. When I first saw you and I abandoned my mission to save you, when I felt the Draw towards you, I knew that I’d stumbled across something incredible. Nothing’s ever made me do that like you did.
I thought I could let you go, but when you walked into that bar and sat across from me…” his eyes momentarily unfocused and a look of revelation overcame his face as he remembered the heat in his own body as I approached him for the first time. “Well, I realized there wasn’t a chance of that. Nobody’s ever made me feel the way I feel about you. Every time we were together, I just felt, I don’t know like it was completely right. I just didn’t know if you could feel the same for me.”
Pain wrenched my heart as he reached up and traced the scars along his face, averting his gaze from mine.
I realized that was how two people fell in love; there was a universe behind that star of the word love and it contained so much more than just a concept we all wish and hope for. I was stunned at the pure beauty as Gabriel forgot all caution and willingly placed himself in the most vulnerable position before me. He revealed to me the entirety of his soul and there was no better feeling than embracing every piece of him, recognizing in him everything I ever dreamed of and more than I could ever imagine. And somehow, I found it in myself to reciprocate by baring my own self, knowing he found beauty in all that I was and what we would become together.
But it was not just the enjoyment I received while with him, it was the sacrifices I was suddenly willing to make in order to give him everything. It’s not unlike the change in perspective on Christmas.
When I was young I thrilled for Christmas because of the presents I would receive, but as I grew older I realized that it no longer fulfilled my heart and that the real pleasure came instead from giving to others, on seeing the looks of excitement and joy on their faces, in deciding what I would give up so I could give to them.
In falling in love with Gabriel, I had made a similar, subtle shift in perspective on my life. Before, I had been living for me, but after, I lived for both of us, and I couldn’t think of what I wouldn’t sacrifice for him. Even my own life.
I had never felt so strong an attraction to another person. Surely everyone else was blind; Gabriel was the most gorgeous being I had ever met. I reached up and slid my hand beneath his and sighed as he curled his fingers over mine and closed his eyes, leaning against my touch.
His fingers skimmed down my arm and I ran mine along the scars that twisted over his jaw, entwining them in his hair as he bent down towards me, kissing me again as though he couldn’t go on unless he did.
I was tempted to pull him down onto the bed on top of me but I restrained myself and listened as he straightened up and continued with the story I had wanted to hear for months.
“Mystics believe in soul mates. With our gifts, there’s quite a few ways of knowing when love is true and if we’ve found the one person we’re meant to spend our lives with. I don’t doubt for a minute that we’re soul mates. We have the Draw. What do you see?” He said as he placed his hands on either side of my face and searched my eyes as though he could read the answer there.
I could barely think straight as so many thoughts stormed around in my head. He had always known we were supposed to be together because of the Guardian magnet he felt towards me, stronger than anything he’s ever known. He exiled himself for me, so I could develop my Sage abilities, and he knew I would have seen us together as my talents progressed, so he created a wall for me in the hopes that it would help me to focus on becoming a Mystic rather than on our relationship.
He thought we were soul mates.
I smiled and couldn’t stop. “Now that you’ve removed your wall, I can see perfectly clear that we exist solely for one another. You’re my one.” He smiled back, that adorable, irresistible smile and I pulled him down towards me where he crushed me into a bear hug and we stayed like that for a while.
I ran my fingers up and down his back and listened to his heartbeat as I rested my head on his chest. I knew neither of us wanted to let go because there was no letting go once you realized something as crucial and essential to life as we just had.
My heart seemed close to bursting as I acknowledged the feeling of having everything. I was complete. I was the luckiest, happiest person on earth and I was no longer content just hugging Gabriel.
I brought my hands around and pushed him gently away from me. I saw the same hunger in his eyes that must have been in mine as he told me “I love you.”
I felt almost numb with emotion. “I love you, too.” Never had these words issued from my mouth with such verity. I knew I may as well have never spoken them before.
My hands slid up his muscular arms and around his shoulders as he kissed me again, more passionately than before. We helped each other remove our clothes and finally, my hands traced down the form of his body until I found the bottom of his shirt and started pulling up. He let go of me, hesitated for a moment, and then ripped it off, throwing it to the floor.
My fingers swept over a cruel pattern of raised and tortured skin and he trembled beneath my touch as I wished I could take away all the pain that lay behind the physical manifestation of his past.
I kissed my way down his beautiful chest and stomach then slid back on the soft comforter, pulling him eagerly with me and he hovered over me, supporting his weight with one arm, exploring my body with the other hand. He lingered at my hips and pulled my panties, my last remaining article of clothing, down over my feet, then kissed his way back up my leg, my inner thigh, and didn’t stop.
Finally, he kissed up to my stomach, brought his eyes to mine and I was lost in the colors of the ocean. I pulled him up until I felt the weight of his body on mine and we escaped from the world for a while as we couldn’t be any closer, fitting perfectly together. Made for each other.
* * * *
I sat down on the window seat in a splash of silver moonlight, leaning my head against the cool panes of foggy glass and tracing lazy patterns with my fingertips as I replayed scenes from earlier in the night.
I flew through every harmonious move we made, every touch and look of pleasure on his face until I reached the point where he had held me after, like he wanted to stay like that forever. Heat churned in my chest and I sighed.
I felt like I lived out my very own fairy tale, complete with castle and perhaps cliché knight in shining armor. I didn’t deserve this life. I had broken too many rules, thought so many horrible things. I was just like every other fallible human, but somehow I was granted a gift that engendered in me the right to all of this.
Gabriel made me feel like I could live the fantasies I had dreamed of when I was a kid. The unforgiving years of growing up had taught me that those dreams were not attainable, that real life wasn’t as it was seen through the eyes of a child. But when I was with Gabriel, I felt like maybe I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.
Snowflakes drifted lazily down from heaven and painted a lacy carpet on the terrace floor as I briefly pictured myself out there in a Victorian ball gown, swirling around in Gabriel’s arms.
I turned and watched him sleeping peacefully, all worry a
nd woe stripped from his handsome face and I wished I could take away all his pain in his waking hours, too.
The yellow light had slowly ebbed but I was uneasy, burdened with a feeling of forgetfulness or of overlooking something important. What I probably needed was a good dose of restorative sleep but it would figure that I couldn’t, despite clear exhaustion. I thought if I could just find a switch to turn off my overactive mind for a few hours I would appreciate it.
Faces skipped repeatedly through my thoughts and I shivered as I remembered the cunning look in my sister’s eyes. I realized with an essence of horror that I might see Dahlia again in the near future, and with even more trepidation I stuttered over the thought of seeing my father for the first time.
What was the protocol for meeting the dad you never knew from opposite sides of the line of war? Evidently, Dahlia knew I was related to her, so he was aware of my existence as his offspring. I didn’t know how I would react to seeing him.
My thoughts turned back to Dahlia, and I tried to read something in my memory of her that I hadn’t seen before. A spell of intuition hit me and my mouth fell open as I recalled a brief flicker of doubt as her eyes betrayed her back at the hospital.
Something good lived inside her despite the careful façade she had maintained her whole life. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure about the way of life she lived, but she didn’t think she had any other choice. Interesting.
Gabriel rolled over in his sleep and a pillow hit the floor with a soft thud, causing me to jump, my fight or flight response kicking in for a few seconds before I determined the cause of the sound. The old windows rattled behind me and Gabriel was on his feet before my heart rate eased back to resting.
“What happened?” He asked as he stared at me, sensing no danger.
“Nothing, you pushed a pillow off the bed and it scared me.” I felt stupid revealing this truth but it had been silent as I lost myself in my brain talk; it was like the quiet part in the scary movie when you jump at the slightest noise.
He smiled and I laughed with him. He flopped back onto the bed, reaching his arms out to me, and I skipped over to rejoin him. I nestled into him, arm across his chest, leg hooked over his waist. It felt so natural and I knew he thought the same thing as he stroked my hair and kissed my forehead.
“Have you been awake long?”
“Sorta. My brain won’t shut off.”
“Mmm. Well, let’s keep it that way shall we?”
“Very funny. You know what I mean. There’s just too much to think about.”
“I know. I wish we had more time to just be us, you know, before we have to think about fighting for our lives.”
“When you say, ‘fighting for our lives’…how bad is this gonna be?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll never leave your side.”
“I can fend for myself.”
“I know.”
I bit my lip, hesitant to reveal any vulnerability. I had always maintained a tough outer shell, reacting to pain with stoicism, never letting people think I was anything but tough.
“But I’m going to need you,” I mumbled into his shoulder. It was the truth and I knew he needed to hear it, no matter how hard it was for me to admit dependence on anyone but myself. He didn’t say anything, but pulled me closer to his body, wrapping me in his body heat.
“Gabriel, I don’t know if I can do this. What if we fail? Why is the Black Shadow attacking us now?”
“Aubrie, we don’t have anything to worry about, they’re going to start gathering members from all over the world. The Black Shadow may have spread wider than we ever thought possible, but we still have strength in numbers. And we have the chance to permanently get rid of them.”
“They won’t fight fair.”
“Cheaters don’t always win. Heroes do though.”
I could feel the insecurity in his last words and knew he didn’t believe them either. “Gabriel, this isn’t a movie or a comic book. Those sorts of things have to have happy endings or else they wouldn’t sell. It’s all about perspective anyway; if they based a movie on the life of a Black Shadow member, the audience would want them to win.”
“I know. But my argument still holds its own. Just because we’ll fight fair doesn’t mean we can’t win.”
“Yeah…it means we can kick their ass and still keep our integrity.”
“Exactly.”
I smiled, seeing some hope afloat in the waters of desperation and doubt.
Chapter 30
I sat straight up out of a dead sleep, sweat dripping down my face and back. At first, I thought the heat was just because Gabriel wrapped me in his arms; I was not accustomed to sleeping with someone else, but then the panic swooped in and the beads of sweat froze on my chilled skin.
“Gabriel. Gabriel, wake up!” I hissed, still shocked into a static position, not knowing what to do but sit there and try to find a way to invalidate what I had seen. He sprung up and pulled me into his arms, invisible. Even in his sleep, he had been on edge.
“What?” he asked, panic rising in his voice as he assessed my body language and the warnings signaling his own abilities.
I couldn’t speak another word out of fear. “Put up a wall, now! We’re too late, the Black Shadow’s coming.”
“When?” His voice was frightening, so brisk in his determination to acquire information and decide what he should do with it.
“Now.”
He swore and I unthawed, tried to jump up but his arms were locked around me and I fell back against his chest. There wasn’t time. I knew I needed to act. I teleported across the room and Gabriel groaned as I threw on the darkest clothes I could find, tucking the Beretta into my waistline.
“Aubrie, wait, just let me think for a second, we can find a way out.”
“Stay here, I’ll be right back, I promise.”
“Aubie don’t,” he pleaded. The nickname nearly won me over but I wouldn’t concede. I needed to find out where the Black Shadow was and I didn’t want to just ‘find a way out.’ People I loved were still in the building, as was my future.
I teleported to Gabriel’s side and kissed him swiftly on the lips. It felt like there wasn’t time for walking even a few feet. I disappeared again before he could protest any more.
I fell into a crouch in the corner of the room where Michaela had stalked me earlier. At first, my eyes didn’t seem to want to adjust to the shadows but it took only seconds to discern the two people standing in the middle of the hall.
Norman was on his knees pleading before a tall cloaked figure. I telepathically called for Michaela. I screamed for her in desperation as I pulled out my pistol with shaking hands.
I only caught part of what the hooded man said, but the gist of it seemed to convey some bitterness over a lack of appreciation. “You deserve no less,” said the hooded figure. And with that, a bullet of a man shot from a hiding place on the opposite end of the room and tackled Norman to the ground. Tears leaked from my eyes and I felt insignificant as I ran towards the three men, a leaf quivering in the wind.
“Stop!” I shouted with my gun aimed at the tall man, ripping noises issuing from the pair on the floor. He turned towards me and I took a step back in disbelief. It was Nathaniel, the Guardian who had been sent to fetch Cara and me from the hospital. He laughed, seemingly unaffected by the loaded gun pointed at him.
“Oh, Aubrie, so glad you get to witness this. I hoped someone would see my brilliant plan finally unfurled. You see I’ve been blocking against the elders and their Sages for a while now. I’ve also been keeping our Informers from getting information while passing along ours to the Black Shadow. And best of all, they wouldn’t have been able to get in here so easily tonight were it not for my help. I won’t be a pet anymore; I’ll be revered on their side.”
“Their side isn’t going to exist after tonight, and you’ll be dead,” I stalled. I couldn’t kill him. I realized as he proceeded with his monologue that I didn’t have it in me to kill another h
uman being, no matter how evil. Who was I to take someone else’s life away from them?
He took a step towards me and I backed up again, aware of his intentions and that of the beast on the floor. I tried to teleport but the Silencer had me bound. Shit. I switched off the safety on the gun. Nathaniel took another step, and another, speeding up. He knew if I would have shot him, I would have done it already. I cocked the hammer back and he broke into a run.
I held my ground hoping I could keep my head enough to at least defend myself. I tried to ignore the pounding in my ears as I lined up the red dots on the sights and squeezed the trigger as they fell across Nathaniel’s left thigh. Through hazy eyes I watched him fall to the ground, and then something slammed into my left side…the Silencer.
I hit the stone floor and couldn’t breathe, reflexively pulled the trigger again but the weight on top of me didn’t relent. He pulled on the gun and I tried to hold on but my hands were slippery with sweat and weak with panic. It was gone.
I tried to get up but I may as well have been paralyzed. I wondered why I wasn’t dead yet. He slammed my head against the floor, the side of my face felt hot and wet, and then I flew through the air as the Silencer toyed with me. Waiting for someone else to get there. Who? My dad? Dahlia?
Both.
My body slammed into the wall and I crumpled onto the floor like a rag doll. Pain exploded from so many parts of my body, I couldn’t discern where the Silencer inflicted injury. Better to try to figure out where there wasn’t damage. I wouldn’t call for Gabriel yet, Michaela was coming, and she would save me. Gabriel could protect me, he wanted to with everything he had, but I hadn’t been able to let him come with me knowing the danger he would face there.
The Silencer ran to me as I hit the floor and slashed my left arm open. I braced myself for more but it didn’t come. Michaela had run from her quarters on the other side of the capital and arrived just when I knew she would. In time. There was a horrible snarling as she clashed with the Black Shadow Silencer and they flew around the room in a blur of combat.
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