by Eden Beck
His eyes are locked on me, and I see something in them that I haven’t seen before now. He’s troubled. He lifts his hand and with the lightest touch, he runs a finger over the curls in my hair.
“Why did you change it?” he asks in a quiet voice. “I liked it how it was before.”
He hasn’t spoken to me in so long, and the first thing he asks me about when he gets me alone is my hair? I take a deep breath. I tell him what I told Blair.
“It was Victoria’s idea.”
He tilts his head a little as he works it out in his mind. “I thought you weren’t friends anymore.”
“Far from it,” I say. I look away from him and cross my arms over my chest. “She had her minions hold me down and she chopped it off.”
Astor is quiet for a long minute. “That’s unfortunate. I’ll have to speak with her about it.”
“That’s so … like you,” I say. I can’t even be mad at his reaction.
I raise my eyes to him again. I’m so confounded that he’s even here talking to me, and I have to ask.
“Astor, you’ve ignored me for so long. Why … why are we standing here now? What do you want?”
He exhales a long, slow breath and traces a finger down the side of my face. “I know it might be hard for you to believe, but I miss you.”
“You’ve done an odd job showing it,” I say, but still, there’s no malice in my voice.
He goes on. “I know I shouldn’t have been so cold to you, but there’s not really a way out. I had you, and it all went wrong, and now I’m stuck with Victoria.”
“Stuck?” I glance down the hall. “I don’t understand.”
“How could you.” He rolls his eyes and looks out of the window for a moment. “I have responsibilities. I have a legacy to uphold.”
Astor looks at me and I can see deep regret in his eyes. “I wish so much that I could be with you instead. I wish that somehow it was possible.”
I have to look away, out the window onto the school grounds that bear his family’s name.
He takes a step nearer to me and his fingertips drift up the side of my arm, over my bare shoulder, and all the way up my neck to my mouth, where he strokes my lips with his thumb for a long moment.
His voice goes almost wistful. “I wonder if it would be enough.”
Our eyes meet, and he’s so, so close.
His touch and all the fire that comes with it floods back into my memory. With that one sensual touch, he steals away my breath and some of my resolve. Part of me wants so much to kiss his thumb, resting there on my lips, and that part of me wants to reach my arms up and around his neck and kiss him hard and long, and show him just how much I have missed him and how much I care for him, but I can’t.
“What would be enough?”
He draws his finger back, and I immediately crave his touch. “Nothing,” he says. “It’s impossible.”
I think I know what he means, and I’m part excited, and part disgusted. Astor isn’t mine. He isn’t even his own, apparently.
Still, looking up at him here, so close … I have to get the hell away from him before I cave and follow my desires.
“I have to go.” I tell him, and I turn on the spot and leave him standing there looking after me.
Wills and Blair both stand when I reach the table. Blair looks at me worriedly.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
Victoria sighs loudly and rolls her eyes, looking as if she couldn’t possibly be more annoyed. “She just went to the bathroom. What’s all the fuss?”
I take Wills’ hand in mine and give it a squeeze as I rejoin my place beside him. Astor returns a moment later and takes his place. No one else seems to notice that anything is amiss, but I can’t keep my mind off what he said. I don’t know if I can sit here across the table three seats down from him and pretend like nothing happened. Nothing really did happen, except that he awoke that part of me that longs for him, and that’s the part that’s currently winning out.
“I’m … fine,” I say offhandedly to Blair. He looks slightly disappointed, as if he has missed an opportunity to come to my rescue somehow and prove himself to me.
Wills tilts his head and eyes me questioningly. “Do you want to leave?”
I feel awful. He’s been looking forward to tonight for so long, but I feel like I’m suffocating.
“Would you mind? I’m so sorry. You can stay if you want to.”
He shakes his head. “No, we’re basically done anyway. They’ve just served dessert.” He indicates the two huge pieces of specialty chocolate cake that are sitting at our places.
“Wow. That looks so good,” I say, wishing Astor had waited to beguile me until after dinner.
Wills smiles at me. “I’ve got this.”
He picks up both plates and holds his arm out to me. “Shall we?”
We say goodnight, and he leads me away from the table as both Blair and Astor watch me go. Wills walks me out to the docks at the boathouse on the lake, and we finish our date there, dancing under the full moon and eating cake with our hands because we forgot to borrow any silverware.
He’s exactly what I need to get my mind off of Astor. He’s sweet, he’s charming—and I think he knows exactly what upset me so much. Of all the faults these boys have, jealousy is not among them. It’s like each one of them makes up one part of a whole. They’re more than inseparable, they’re … inevitable. And for that, I am grateful.
Because one day, despite everything, I plan to be greedy in my desires.
One day, I’m going to have them all.
Chapter 17
I’m still reeling from the events of Saturday night when I hear my name getting called to the office first thing Monday morning. There’s only one thing it can be.
Victoria is lucky I don’t run into her on my way to Dr. Baxter’s office, because I have half a mind to drag her in there and have it out. Let Baxter know the truth. If I’m about to be expelled for something I didn’t even do this time, I’m not going to go down without a fight.
When I storm into the front office, all prepped to refute another set of lies, I realize I’m wrong. I freeze where I stand in shock.
I’m not here to see Dr. Baxter. I’m not in trouble.
I have a visitor.
But it might be even worse.
“Ms. Martin?” I gasp as I take her in. She’s standing there looking like hell with her unkept hair, her thickly pasted on makeup—which I can give an educated guess at being at least three days old—and clothes I’m fairly certain she stole from me before she kicked me out.
She’s leaning on the edge of the secretary’s desk, her hands picking absentmindedly at the corner of a brochure taped to the countertop. At least, to anyone else, she looks like she’s doing it absentmindedly. I know she’s just waiting for the opportunity to swipe something when no one’s looking.
Ms. Mason, who’s been eying her suspiciously this whole time, glances up at me as soon as I come in and looks relieved. Finally, she must be thinking, someone to come take this awful human off her hands.
Well, she’s about to be disappointed. I don’t plan on taking this woman anywhere.
My ex-foster-mother throws her arms wide and grins at me like we’re old friends, and it only confirms my own suspicions that she’s here to get something from me. That woman has never hugged me once in my life, and I lived with her for more than three years. I think if she tries to touch me now, I won’t be held accountable for any injury that occurs.
“Teddy! Look at my little peach pie!” She comes for me while I stare at her in horror and back up, dodging her hands as she reaches to pinch my cheeks. She reeks of booze. “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
Her eyes shift sideways to the secretary, and for a second, she looks like her old vindictive self.
“Absolutely not,” I say, crossing my arms across my chest and giving her a well-deserved look of disgust. “What do you want?”
She manages to grab hold of my arm with another swipe, a
nd looks over her shoulder at Ms. Mason with a fake smile. “Why, I just missed you so much! Just because you’re gone doesn’t mean that you’re forgotten.” She tries to bubble effervescently, and it sounds like an off-key note on an untuned piano. Even Ms. Mason scrunches up her face in sympathy across the room.
I shake her free.
“I don’t have any money to give you,” I say. “So you’ve wasted your time.”
Ms. Martin looks properly horrified. “Money? What? Now … what are you talking about? How could I be coming to you for money? You’re a child! Come on. Come with me and let’s go talk.”
This time, with her back to Ms. Mason, her face darkens. “I think you’ll really want to hear what I have to say.”
My curiosity outweighs my dislike, and I let her drag me out of the office and towards a corner at the side of the main stairs, where fewer people can see us. Something is going on and the show she is putting on in the office is only saccharin frosting on a toxic cupcake. That frosting dissolves the moment we’re out of sight.
I’m expecting her to try and tell me some sort of lie to try to extort money out of me again, but the moment I turn back to talk to her, she lunges at me and shoves me up against the hard marble of the staircase. She twists the front of my blouse up in her fist and presses me even harder.
“You little bitch!” she hisses.
I gasp and stare at her, too shocked to even try to struggle out of her grasp. “What? What are you talking about?”
“Does the name Rutherford sound familiar to you?”
“I have no …” I start, and then it dawns on me. She sees the recognition on my face as I place Dana’s last name.
“So, I’m right then,” she spits. “After all the years I took care of you, this is how you repay me.”
She pulls out a packet of papers from inside her blouse and shoves it into my face. It’s a summons to court.
“They took ‘em all, thanks to you. Do you have any idea how much you’ve cost me?”
Of course her only concern is the money she’s lost.
She’s furious, but all I feel is sweet, sweet revenge. A laugh bubbles up and spills out of me.
“She really did it,” I say. “About time. I hope you rot in hell.”
She presses harder. Students are going to be coming through here at any moment. As soon as breakfast opens up, these hallways are going to be filled with watchful eyes. I’d rather they didn’t see me getting harassed by a bridge troll, but at least she can’t get away with much.
“I’ll be rotting in prison if you don’t refute some of these charges. Blackmail? Neglect? Really?”
That’s a genuine surprise, but I’m not going to pretend it isn’t highly satisfying. “Sorry,” I say, “I misspoke. I hope you rot in prison … at least for the same amount of time you made my life hell. Hell will come later, so at least you have that to look forward to.”
I didn’t know Dana told her father about the blackmail last year, and certainly didn’t think he’d try to charge her with it. We haven’t heard anything back in the weeks since she asked him to look into it. I had all but forgotten about it until Ms. Martin threw it in my face just now. That’s not all she’s ready to throw in my face.
“I’ll make sure you get what you deserve for ruining my life, little bitch.” Ms. Martin’s eyes go wild, and for the first time ever, I am completely terrified of her. A person with nothing left to lose is the most dangerous. She holds me hard against the wall with one hand, and she lets go with the other, pulling her fist back far over her shoulder.
“This is for everything you’ve cost me!” she screams at me, and just as her fist comes flying at my face, two strong hands close over her arm and yank her backward so hard that she lands on her ass on the floor.
Ms. Martin isn’t the only one looking up in astonishment. Blair has appeared over her looking more furious than I’ve ever seen him.
“You unbelievable bitch. How dare you come here after what you did to Teddy?” He looms over her, his lithe body posed to strike. His fist is wound up, balled up, poised at his side, and for a second, I’m worried he’s really going to hit her. As satisfying as that might be, I fear we’d never hear the end of it. Blair might not get expelled, but I certainly will be.
“Blair—” He doesn’t hear me. He’s glaring down at me would-be-assailant with murder in his eyes.
“If you ever try to lay a hand on her again, I will personally make sure you never see the light of day again. One way or another.”
Ms. Martin struggles to clamber to her feet and she gives Blair a nasty look. “Don’t you threaten me, you smug little jerk!” She tries to stand up straight, but there’s too much alcohol in her.
“This smug little jerk has the ability to ruin your life in ways you can only imagine,” he says, his voice dangerously low. “Now, get the fuck out.”
He doesn’t give her the opportunity to try and get up again. He grabs her arm tight enough to leave a bruise, and starts dragging her to the front doors. His free hand throws one of them open, then grabbing her with both arms, he throws her out. He literally throws her out.
It’s a sight, watching her tumble over on the concrete steps outside as the glass door slowly shuts behind her. Before it shuts all the way, he has a few parting words.
“Next time I see you here, you’ll hope it’s prison where I send you.”
She raises her head as she starts to get back up outside, and she looks at me with pure, unadulterated hatred. But she doesn’t try to come inside. Security appears down the path, and starts herding her towards the exit. She has to half-crawl until they eventually scoop her up under her armpits and literally drag her the rest of the way down the hill since she can’t seem to do it on her own.
It isn’t until I turn around that I see the small crowd that’s started to gather, catching the end of the drama on their way down to breakfast. Dana pushes her way out of the crowd and runs to my side.
“I heard your name over the intercom, and I came to make sure that you were okay,” she tells me as she stares wide-eyed at Blair.
His face is red and his silvery-white hair is tousled. His green eyes are burning with fury, and I just shake my head. I have never seen him so angry; it’s left me speechless. Almost.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his eyes moving over me. He comes and lightly straightens my blouse where it’s bunched up from her fist gripping it.
“I’m okay.” I tell him.
“Good.” He says quietly, and then turns to walk away. He only gets a few feet before Dana nudges me and gives me a serious eye.
“How long are you going to let this go on?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
She just grabs me by my shoulders and spins me around to face Blair’s disappearing figure. “Put the poor guy out of his misery. I think he’s done enough, don’t you?”
In that moment, I know she’s right.
I jog up behind Blair and take his hand, stopping him. When he turns to me, and I reach up and take his face in my hands.
“Thank you, Blair. That was so brave.”
I lean forward on my tip toes and kiss him softly on the mouth. For a moment he’s totally still, but then he reaches his arms around me, closing me tightly in them as he kisses me in return.
The kiss grows deep and intense, and when he finally lets me go, we’re both breathless. He definitely has an overpowering effect on me.
He looks hard into my eyes. “I missed you so much, Bunny.”
I feel tears prick my eyes, and I smile at him. “I missed you too. And I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“No.” He kisses me on the forehead. “It’s all behind us now. I just hope I get the chance to prove I’m not going anywhere ever again.”
He holds my face firm and kisses me even more urgently than before. It’s a long minute before he finally lets me go, leaving us both out of breath and heated with mutual fire.
I don’t notice it until that m
oment, but Ms. Mason is standing at the office door. She’s seen the whole thing. We’ve gotten detention for much less, but she just winks and smiles at me, and then turns and heads back to her desk with a totally satisfied look on her face.
I glance up at Blair and grin. This has been a long time coming.
We file a complaint with security and they assure us my old foster mother will never be allowed on the grounds again. Wills shows up halfway through, wild-eyed and half crazed, looking out the windows for any sign of my foster mother. She’s really lucky that she got out of here first, because I’m not sure Wills would be able to keep from actually hurting her.
I’m understandable shaken by the whole ordeal, so Blair announces we’re all going to skip class and get away from the crowds for a while. I’m about to protest, but then Dana wholeheartedly agrees and even offers to grab breakfast for all of us while the boys get me settled in somewhere quiet.
With Wills on one side and Blair on the other, we head out onto the quad. They pick a big, shady tree out of the way and each of them takes off his jacket and drapes it over my shaking shoulders. I try to explain that I’m not shaking from the cold, but neither of them listens.
The weather has turned cold enough that I can see my breath this early in the morning, so the extra warmth isn’t unappreciated.
“Are you guys sure you’re not going to freeze?” I ask, but both of them just shrug.
“We’re going to be fine, Bunny,” Blair says.
“All that matters is that you’re really okay,” Wills adds. “Besides, it’s good to shock your body every so often.” He flexes comically. “Really makes these puppies pop.”
“Oh god,” I say, covering my face as Dana appears at the end of the green heading back towards us. “Can you be any more embarrassing?”
“Oh, trust me,” Blair says, leaning in close to whisper hot breath into my ear. “We can.”
Dana hands each of us a hot chocolate and sets a bag of warm pastries in the middle of the little ring we’ve formed. “I barely got out of there alive,” she says, a sly grin on her face. “You should’ve seen the fit Victoria was throwing back there.”