He opened his eyes to find Ruby staring up at him.
“I know it’s something good,” she said with a laugh. “Are you going to fill me in on it?”
Adrian weighed his options. Telling her the truth about wanting to continue this when they got home could end with their clothes off, but there was a chance it could go the opposite way. Was it better to dodge the question and explore this quiet moment together? What would she want?
Just then Ruby’s phone played the Ohio State fight song. She froze, her gaze locked on his. “My parents,” she whispered.
The call she had been waiting for all day. Lazy, relaxed Ruby was gone, and so was her easy smile. His gut twisted as the unease in her gaze took over, and he didn’t know what to do with that feeling.
The phone rang again.
She sat up.
“I do want to talk to them,” she muttered, as she reached for the phone on the coffee table. “Really. I do.”
He couldn’t think of anything to say to that, so he reached for her hand instead, but she was already too far away.
“Merry Christmas, Mom.” Ruby’s voice was bright and cheery. Adrian wondered if her mother heard the hint of tension in it, too.
He watched her walk away, into the living room. She must have stopped there and sat on the couch because he could still hear her clearly.
“Yes, it’s been...very nice so far... No, I’m not alone. But I’d be fine if I was.”
With each response, he could hear her voice getting tighter. He really shouldn’t be listening in on her private conversation, but...
“Yes, he’s a man.”
More silence.
“No, this isn’t a distraction. My career and my photography are still my priorities.” Her voice was tight.
“I know, Mom.” Her voice had gone from tight to apologetic. “Can we talk about this some other time? How was your visit to Grandma’s?”
Adrian hung his head. He was listening in on her private conversation, and now he was starting to read into it. None of his business. He grabbed his hat off the coffee table, then stood up and headed toward the beach, far from listening distance. He pulled the hat low on his head as he walked off the lanai and across the pool deck, Ruby’s voice following him.
But as he started down the wooden steps that led to the beach, a thought occurred to him that made him stop in his tracks.
Had Ruby heard him this morning when he spoke to his family earlier? He’d shut the door to the lanai, but judging how well sound carried in their little cabin, it was possible. What had he said during his call? His mother had definitely asked who he was spending Christmas with. How had he answered?
Shit. He couldn’t remember, but he definitely hadn’t waxed poetic about spending time with Ruby—his mother would’ve never let it go if he had.
Had he said something that could’ve hurt her? Just the thought alone made him ache... If he focused on making the next few days perfect for her, maybe that would outweigh all his asshole moves.
Adrian walked down the last two steps and started across the beach. The afternoon sun sparkled over the water, and the sand was hot under his feet. He walked to the water’s edge. Just focus on the next three days.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been standing there making plans before Ruby’s hand brushed over his shoulder. He turned around. She still hadn’t put on a bra, just a tank top, short shorts and sunglasses. Her hair was piled on the top of her head in a messy bun, and she looked sexy as hell.
“Your parents have a good Christmas?”
She chuckled, surprising him. “As good as it gets for them, I think.” She was quiet for a while, and then she added, “You know, I think not going home for Christmas these last couple years has been good for them. I mean, I’m pretty sure my parents stuck together for my sake more than for theirs.” She gave him a tight smile. “My mom missed out on a lot because she got pregnant earlier than she’d planned. She told me that more than once. But now that I’m not there, they can’t use me as an excuse anymore.”
She stared out at the ocean. “Back in November, I told them I wasn’t coming. It was long enough ago that both of them could’ve made other plans. My dad’s been talking about taking a Christmas cruise in the Caribbean forever, and my mom’s always wanted to visit her sister in California for the holidays. This is the second year in a row I gave them the perfect opportunity to do the things they finally wanted to do, and neither of them took it.” She shook her head slowly. “I have no idea what the hell that means.”
Adrian ran his fingers down the soft skin of her arm. “That their relationship is more complicated than it looks?”
Ruby laughed. “Yeah, I got that part.”
“Is that why you’re spending Christmas alone?”
She shrugged. “Partly.”
“The other part?”
She was quiet.
He waited a couple moments, but she still didn’t answer, so he tipped his chin down the shore. “Want to walk?”
“Okay.”
She stepped into the shallow water and started down the beach. It splashed around her ankles, getting her legs wet. “Adrian?”
“Mmm?”
“Why didn’t you spend Christmas with your family?”
He sighed. “For the same reason you didn’t go to your friend’s place, I think. Because it’s hard to be single during the holidays when you’re surrounded by happy couples. I just needed a break from it.”
She nodded, like she understood.
“I told you that I was a mistake,” she said after a while.
He frowned, waiting to see where this was going.
“It’s not that my mom didn’t want kids. She did, just not when she was twenty. It meant she had to drop out of college, and she never ended up going back. She always wanted to travel, see places, explore more of the world, so when I was five, she got a job as a flight attendant.” Ruby sounded so different than she usually did. So serious. “She was gone a lot. It was a compromise, both for her and for my dad and me. None of us were happy, really.”
The wind blew wisps of her hair across her face, and she tucked them behind her ear. He had so many questions, but he waited, giving her time to tell the story the way she wanted.
“I don’t think my mom regrets having me, not exactly, but she really, really doesn’t want me to make the same mistake.”
Adrian stiffened. Those words weren’t sitting well with him. She didn’t think her mother regretted her...but she wasn’t sure? Every protective instinct in him was going off, but he gritted his teeth and just listened.
“That’s why we made that pact I told you about. She was giving me permission to make choices based on what I want, not compromising for anyone. Men do it all the time, but women...less often.” She raised her eyebrow at him, waiting for him to argue, but he didn’t. “I broke up with my college boyfriend when I had to choose between him and moving to New York.”
“Definitely a good decision,” he muttered.
Ruby smiled. “It was. My mom pushed me to leave him behind, and she was 100 percent right on that one.”
“And I’m guessing your mom also advises not to get married or have kids?”
“Not until thirty. In her mind, those are the ultimate compromises.”
“What about in your mind?”
Ruby hesitated, then nodded. “She’s probably right.”
“But you’re not twenty years old still working on your college degree.”
Ruby laughed. “Are you weighing in on this topic?”
“Of course. I’m older and wiser,” he said with an arch of his eyebrows.
She gave him a little shove, and he feigned a stumble in the sand.
“I’ve been following my mother’s advice for a while now, trying to decide based on what I want. It’s harder than one w
ould think.”
“Not for me.”
Ruby laughed. “I know. That’s something I really like about you.”
He smiled at the compliment. “And this is related to not going home for Christmas?”
She sighed. “I didn’t want to go. Like I said, Christmas has never been a lot of fun in our family. But I wondered, what happens if I’m selfish about my decision and stay away? Will my mom stand by her theory, or will she make an exception and ask me to come home?”
“And?”
“She stood strong.” Ruby kicked a little water and looked out at the ocean.
“Is that what you wanted?” he asked gently.
A tiny set of waves broke on the beach, spraying on his feet, getting him wet.
“I don’t know,” she said after a while. “Part of me was glad that she held herself to her own standard, even when it was personal. Especially after all those years of hammering her advice into me.”
She bent down and picked up a shell out of the water, studying it for a moment. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and snapped a couple photos of it, then threw it back in the ocean.
“But part of me wanted to be the exception,” she said softly. “To be important enough to make her break her own rules.”
Adrian swallowed, feeling the pain in those words. He wanted to say something comforting, but of course, nothing came. The only thing he could think to do was touch her, hold her. He had crossed so many forbidden boundaries, but somehow, comforting her this time felt even more intimate. He was slipping further into dangerous territory, but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He waded into the ankle-deep water next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She looked a little surprised, but then she smiled and wrapped her arm around his waist. They walked that way through the water, their hips bumping, her soft body against his. It felt good, so good.
“Are you having a merry Christmas?” he asked.
She smiled. “Yes. Definitely yes.”
Adrian nodded, ignoring the clench in his chest. He’d pleased her during the day and stayed on his side of the bed at night. It was a delicate balance, but as long as he remembered the limits, this wouldn’t get out of hand. Hopefully.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Merry Christmas. Tried to get ahold of you. Our flight is leaving soon, and we’re coming tomorrow morning to pick you up. Sorry about the last minute change, pls let Ruby know. I’ll explain when we get there.
ADRIAN HAD NO idea how long he’d been sitting on this lounge chair, staring at the message from James. Long enough to get hungry again, even after the lunch picnic. All he knew was that the sinking feeling wasn’t going away.
James and Cristina were coming back early. He and Ruby didn’t have a few more days in Hawaii. They had one more night, and then it was over. All of it. It wasn’t a big change. So why did it feel like his legs had just been cut out from under him? Why did a few more days really matter when the end would be the same?
Somehow, it did.
An idea floated through his mind for the second time: What if they didn’t stop? What if they met up back in New York? Working together would be complicated, and getting caught would probably hurt her career. Adrian frowned. Sneaking around wouldn’t work, but maybe they could see each other a few more days, before the office opened again. They could even set an end date: January 1. Just until the end of the year.
The more he thought about it, the more he wanted it. He just had to figure out a way to bring it up.
He stood up and headed toward the beach, where Ruby had disappeared to get a few more photos. She was sitting in the sand, not far from the water, looking at her phone. She was barefooted, her long legs crossed, and she was wearing short shorts again. His blood was rushing south, and it was far from the first time today. He was beginning to appreciate her love of minimalism.
He sat down next to her in the sand. She turned and smiled at him. “Hey.”
She smiled each time when she saw him now, like she was truly happy to see him. Adrian’s heart beat faster, and he swallowed. It was better to just get this over with. “There’s something I need to show you.”
His voice sounded raw to his own ears, and her brow wrinkled. He pulled out his phone and showed her the message. They sat like that for a long time, just looking at the words. The screen went black after a bit, and he shoved the phone back in his pocket.
“So...” she said, letting the words linger. “No horseback riding tomorrow.”
He shook his head slowly.
“Damn. I’m a good rider.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“Really, I am. I learned at summer camp.”
“When was that? Last year?”
Ruby poked him in the side. Her smile was so warm, so beautiful, and Adrian couldn’t help but grin in response.
She was quiet again for a while. Then she sighed. “It’s our last chance to bet on the real reason why James and Cristina needed us here.”
Adrian shrugged. “I’m going with family emergency. Not James’s family or he would’ve probably told me. I still can’t figure out why they’d want to keep it secret, but that’s all I’ve got.”
“Interesting.”
“Is that skepticism I hear?” He tickled her stomach, and she laughed.
“It’s just not very specific. Kind of a cop-out answer.”
He tickled her again, and she squirmed against him, which made him think about getting naked. Again.
“What about you? You have a better guess about where James and Cristina went this week?” he asked, trying to steer his mind off other subjects.
“I definitely think it’s something personal, maybe family.”
Adrian poked her in the side. “I already took that one.”
“No way. Your guess was much too broad to claim it,” she said, laughing. “I’m going with a private family matter in El Salvador, where a lot of Cristina’s family lives.”
“Not specific enough.”
“Fine, I’ll go with my first guess, even if you’re going to laugh,” she said. “I still think it’s something about being pregnant.”
He didn’t laugh.
Ruby turned to him, and her smile slipped. “You don’t like that guess,” she said softly. “Because of what happened last time?”
He nodded. James and Cristina’s miscarriage wasn’t a secret. They had announced their pregnancy right when they found out, made a whole campaign on social media about it. In the days after the loss, the scheduled posts were still going up, and the congratulatory comments were still coming in. Dealing with the public as the private devastation hit them had been too much. It had almost broken James.
“Experiences like that don’t go away,” Adrian said.
He could hear the rawness in his own voice, and by the look on Ruby’s face, she could, too.
“And you would know?” she asked, her voice gentle.
“Yes, I would.”
Adrian looked out at the ocean, trying to bury the memories that were rising up inside him. The hope that could be so easily snatched out from under him. The woman who’d so easily moved on, both from the miscarriage and from him.
“Was it with the woman you mentioned before? The one you fell in love with?”
He nodded. “Victoria.”
She tilted her head a little. “And you really wanted the baby.”
“More than anything I’d ever wanted.”
The words were so hard to speak, so painful, but it was the truth. When it happened, he couldn’t shake the sadness, the loss, which had increasingly irked Victoria. It’s not your only chance to have a baby, she’d snapped not long before she left. That she hadn’t understood why he couldn’t move on a few weeks later, even looked down on him for it... He never wanted to be in that position again. After all
these years, it still hurt to even think about it.
He braced himself for more questions, but they didn’t come. Instead, Ruby rested her hand on his leg and gave it a gentle squeeze. Maybe someday he’d be ready to say more...except there wasn’t a someday for them. She wasn’t ready for a relationship, let alone a baby. This would end tomorrow. Unless he convinced her to continue just a few more days in New York.
Adrian looked at her, really looked at her. He could see hints of Ruby’s eyes through her sunglasses, but he couldn’t read her expression. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything, so he simply looked, taking in her lips, the shape of her face, the soft skin of her neck, where he’d kissed her a dozen times today, and the long silky hair blowing against her shoulders.
After a while, she gave his thigh one more squeeze. “Is it time for our grand finale sex marathon? If you’re not too old for one of those...”
Adrian let out a laugh as he tackled her, wrapping his arms around her. Something inside him broke free, and the heaviness of the past faded as he looked at Ruby. Her sunglasses sat askew on her forehead as she lay in the warm sand, with him half on top of her.
“You’re getting sand in my hair,” she said, smiling up at him. “How do I always end up on the bottom?”
“Because it makes me hot,” he whispered in her ear.
Her eyes were shining. “Me, too.”
* * *
Ruby lay in the sand with Adrian on top of her, staring down at her in that way he had, his mouth stern and his eyes bright. His growing erection was pressing against her hip, and she welcomed it. Craved it. Because tomorrow this would be over, too soon, just when she was starting to understand him. Just moments ago, she’d seen a glimpse of real hurt, buried somewhere inside, and everything in her wanted to ease it.
What would her mother say about that? Probably that it was a trap. That the urge to nurture someone else’s wounds was a slippery slope of compromises, the kind that could trigger an avalanche of priority shifts that grew until it buried her in other people’s wants and dreams, snuffing out her own.
Okay, maybe that was a little melodramatic, but nothing about this man was casual. He was intense, and her chest swelled with the pleasure of all that intensity focused on her.
Pure Satisfaction--A Hot Holiday Romance Page 13