Ruby hazarded a glance at Adrian across the long, empty stretch of the back seat. He was looking straight ahead, his jaw tense, working. Back to grumpy ancient Greek statue mode, still, impenetrable.
Actually, now that she was getting a good look, he seemed...tired. They still hadn’t spoken much since she’d walked away last night, leaving him alone on the lounge chair they had so thoroughly made use of that first night. She told herself she’d tried to resist him when he’d come to bed, but the truth was she hadn’t. It had felt too good to lie next to him. By the time she woke up in the morning, he was gone.
They pulled into the airport, and the driver headed for the private jet area and parked. Ruby climbed out of the car and walked around to the trunk, where the driver was removing the last of their luggage. She grabbed her carry-on and started for the jet. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Adrian next to her, facing straight ahead, with his perfect posture and his inscrutable expression.
“You have everything?” His voice was gentler than she’d expected.
“I should be asking you that question,” she said, nodding to his two suitcases.
She was pretty sure he smiled a little. They probably looked just like they had when they’d left the plane days before, but nothing felt the same.
The runway was quiet, and she absorbed the last of the Hawaiian sun. Tomorrow she’d wake up in the New York winter. Maybe she’d come back here someday, though it was almost definitely not going to be on a private jet.
The door to the private plane was open and the steps were down. A woman waiting at the bottom took Ruby’s luggage before she climbed the stairs.
Ruby entered the cabin and stopped, staring at the scene. Cristina and James were sitting in the seats facing the door, with smiles full of joy. In James’s arms was a tiny baby, just a little bigger and rounder than a newborn.
A baby. James and Cristina had a baby.
She tried to piece this together. Cristina definitely hadn’t been pregnant when they left, so they must be either fostering this little one...or they’d adopted.
Adrian came up behind her, his hand gently settling on her back. “Keep moving, Ruby,” he whispered.
She could feel the moment he saw the baby, too. He stilled, his hand tense on her back.
“A baby,” she whispered stupidly, but she couldn’t help it. That was what was behind their mystery trip. Not a company buyout but a baby.
“Meet Hector,” Cristina said. “I’m sorry we couldn’t tell you sooner. We got the call last week from my grandmother, and we didn’t know what to do. It’s not a guarantee when you get a call. These kinds of things can fall through easily. We didn’t want to tell anyone until we were sure.”
“But it didn’t fall through,” Adrian said from behind her. “You have a baby.”
“Our baby,” Cristina echoed, her eyes filling. She circled her arms around James and little Hector, and a tear trickled down her cheek. “Finally.”
“So you sent us to Hawaii for a little privacy,” Ruby whispered.
James nodded. “So sorry I didn’t tell you, A. I would have eventually. Cristina’s grandmother has been helping us work with an agency in El Salvador, and this isn’t the first time we’ve been alerted. We’ve even flown down there once, thinking it would happen, but the mother decided to keep the baby.”
“Last summer...” Adrian added.
James nodded.
“I’ve scheduled posts for the next two days, Cristina,” Ruby said. “You want me to keep going? It would give you a little space. As long as you want.”
Another tear trickled down Cristina’s cheek. “Thank you, Ruby. I’d love that.”
Ruby turned to Adrian, who still hadn’t said a word. A week ago, she would’ve thought he was stoically observing this domestic scene, but now Ruby could read the longing in his eyes, and in that moment she ached for him. This was what he wanted, exactly what he saw in front of him: a family. Oh, she wanted to comfort him. She wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him...tell him what?
She didn’t want to give him a family herself, did she? A baby would be nice someday...in the future. Not now. Her mother would have a heart attack just knowing she’d thought about such a big compromise.
She’d been right to say no to him last night, and not just for her own sanity. He shouldn’t be playing around with a woman just trying to get her own life started when he so clearly ached for this kind of happiness. But picturing Adrian with another woman, holding their baby...she really didn’t want to think about that. Seeing him gaze down at James in Cristina, she could finally admit one more little piece of last night that had stung. He had invited her for a few more days of sex, nothing more. Had he even considered looking for this kind of happiness with her?
Adrian looked down at her. He said nothing, but he wasn’t looking very stoic anymore.
Ruby bit her lip. She knew her hurt wasn’t fair—she had been the one to draw the line. If they were alone, maybe they’d talk about this, but it wouldn’t change anything. So she gave him a little smile, then headed to her seat.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“WHO IS SHE?”
“Just someone I work with.”
“Try again.” Adrian’s sister raised an eyebrow, and she had the nerve to look amused.
He, on the other hand, was nowhere near amused. Frustrated was an understatement, and his current state of sleeplessness wasn’t helping. In the days since they left Hawaii, he’d tried everything to put Ruby back into that hot temptation he’d never give into category in his mind. The one he’d kept her in for the past three years. It wasn’t working.
Adrian scrubbed his hands over his face. He knew his sister would press him for details—he’d resigned himself to it when he’d written her that Christmas email. But he still hadn’t come up with a good way to explain it.
“Come on, Adrian,” Sydney coaxed, not bothering to hide her smile. She was thoroughly enjoying his discomfort. “I’ll invite you over for New Year’s if you give me the details.”
“Too late. Amy already invited me,” he grumbled.
“Consider her invitation suspended.” His sister’s eyes sparkled with interest. “I can see you are stewing over this big-time, so let it out.”
He really, really didn’t want to talk about Ruby, but maybe it was better to just get the discussion over with. Sydney knew him better than anyone in the world. She’d at least understand where he was coming from.
“Bonus for giving in right away instead of making me spend all night dragging the answer out of you. Amy is still putting Evan to bed.” She gestured to the hallway of their apartment, where his sister-in-law had disappeared with his nephew just minutes before. “If you tell me now, you won’t have to say it in front of my wife.”
It wasn’t much of a threat, considering how much a part of his life Amy was, too. But the thought of spending the evening with Sydney prying at him was enough to make him relent.
“Fine. You win.” He took a deep breath and blew it out. “Ruby is a colleague at work who I spent Christmas with because of...circumstances.”
“I definitely got that from the email,” she said, waving him off. “What I want to know is why you look like you haven’t slept in days.”
“Because I haven’t,” he said darkly.
Sydney’s eyes lit up. “Because you’re in love?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped, but Sydney’s smile grew wider.
“You totally are in love,” she said, giving him that dismissive wave again. “Now let’s hear your list of buts.”
Only Sydney would smile at him and so bluntly tell him he was wrong. Well, only Sydney and Ruby. But he wasn’t wrong. She was.
“I can’t fall in love with this woman. She’s twenty-five going on eighteen, and we work together. She likes to party and she’s irreverent. Not at
all serious.” He ticked off each reason on his hand.
His sister let out a snort of laughter. “Sounds perfect. Hopefully she can get you to take yourself a little less seriously.”
The comment stung, and Sydney seemed to realize this right away. “Sorry, Adrian. That came out wrong.” She patted him on the knee. “But you hold yourself to such rigid standards, and there doesn’t seem to be much room in them for enjoyment. Or happiness.”
Adrian frowned. That might be true. “The other major problem is that she’s got a thing about no relationships until thirty.”
Sydney raised her eyebrows. “Really? I like her already.”
“I’m looking for help here, Syd.”
“So no relationships until thirty...but you think she’s into you?”
He nodded. “Pretty sure.”
“Why doesn’t she want a relationship?”
He blew out a breath. “It’s something about honoring her mother’s dreams and following her own dreams while she’s young.”
“So she doesn’t want to compromise her personal goals for a relationship?”
“Something like that.”
Sydney was quiet for a few moments. “Can you give her that?”
“And have a family, too? A baby takes a hell of a lot of compromises.” He gave her a pointed look. “You should know that.”
It wasn’t a good idea to think about babies, but he couldn’t help himself. He let the idea bloom in his mind. Ruby pregnant with his child. Living with him, working on her photography in one of his spare rooms. It could be her office.
There was so much joy in that image it was hard to contain. He would take care of her. She had said those words, take care of me. Would she ever want that for real?
“And you absolutely need the baby to feel like you’re starting a family?”
He definitely wanted a baby. Enough to give up Ruby? “I don’t know,” he finally said.
“I can’t believe I have such a traditional brother. Haven’t you been listening all those years when Amy and I talked to Mom and Dad about getting married?”
Adrian blinked, searching for the connection she was making. He was coming up with nothing. “Um, yes. I listened.”
“But you thought I was just talking about wanting to marry a woman,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I wasn’t. It’s something everyone needs to think about, including you. Families come in many different forms. And the more we let ourselves explore what we really want, the more we all can find happiness.”
Adrian was silent. Maybe he could be a little more flexible. He’d thought a lot about what he wanted...but that was a long time ago. Before he moved to New York. Before he cashed out on his start-up and upgraded to a penthouse facing Central Park. Before he bought his sister and Amy a place downstairs so they could live closer. Before Ruby had started at NY Creatives Media.
He did still want a family—that much he was sure of—but as for what it looked like...
The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to be with Ruby. Except his meticulously planning brain was short-circuiting at the idea, spitting out all sorts of worst-case scenarios.
“What if it happens again?” Just saying the words hurt, but he forced himself to continue. “You know I can’t do anything halfway. What if I put everything into this, and I fall in love and wait until she’s ready, and then I lose another baby? Or something else happens? I don’t think I can—” His voice broke, so he stopped there. It was too much to even speak it aloud.
“If she’s a real partner, you won’t go through these things alone this time,” she bit out, the old anger at Victoria rekindling. Sydney blew out a breath. “I just want you to be happy, Adrian.” His sister’s voice was softer now. “This is big. I can feel it.”
“Me, too, Syd,” he whispered. “Me, too.”
After a few days apart, the satisfaction of just seeing Ruby would be...well, he didn’t know what to call this feeling inside. But even if he called and asked to see her, he’d still have to figure out how the hell to convince Ruby to give a relationship a try. She might not want to see him. Adrian wasn’t sure how long he sat there, lost in thought, but the silence was broken when Amy walked into the room.
“Asleep,” she whisper-yelled, pumping her fists in the air. She plopped down next to Sydney on the sofa. “You two are quiet.”
“Just discussing my future,” Adrian grumbled.
“Interesting,” Amy said. “Does it include going to the Central Park Zoo with Evan tomorrow? He asked right before he fell asleep.”
He imagined walking around the zoo with Evan, listening to him talk nonstop about the animals. “I’d love to.”
* * *
Ruby sat on the edge of her bed, tugging on the zipper of her black knee-high boots. They were her winter favorites, the perfect combination of warm, waterproof and sexy. Exactly what she needed for the New Year’s Eve party, which would probably involve a post-midnight, half-drunk walk from her friend’s apartment to a nearby bar.
She tugged the zipper down instead of up, but it still wouldn’t budge. She stared down at the boot. The problem with minimalism was that she didn’t have a lot in the way of backup, so it was these or black pumps. Or running shoes. Ruby sighed and juggled the zipper again, and thank goodness, it came loose.
She zipped up the boot and stood. In the full-length mirror on her closet door, she smoothed her favorite black dress: fitted, just above the knee, with a low scoop neckline that showed just the right amount of cleavage. Work-appropriate with a blazer or a sweater, or evening wear with a scarf or alone, with a necklace that drew attention to said cleavage, just for fun.
Tonight called for the latter because she was going to have a fun New Year’s Eve, dammit. Flirt a little, drink an extra glass of champagne and magically wake up in the new year, ready to start on her resolution: forget about Adrian.
Her phone rang, and she glanced at the screen. Her mother. Ruby stared at her phone as it rang again. She hadn’t answered the last time her mother called. She’d been too unsettled about Adrian. He’d made her consider compromising everything, just to be more like the kind of woman he was looking for.
The phone rang for a third time. Maybe a talk with her mother was exactly what she needed. Ruby took a deep breath and answered it. “Hi, Mom.”
“Ruby, sweetheart. I tried to call yesterday.”
“Sorry. I was busy putting together a portfolio to submit to a couple galleries.”
It was true. Despite everything, she’d made some good progress on putting together a coherent narrative in her photographs, based on the photo that had won the contest. She’d named it Layers after she realized that so many of her series were about layers in the city—physical layers of buildings, class layers, everything. When she understood her theme, the rest was much easier.
“Fantastic. That’s my girl. Following your dreams,” her mother said, pride bursting in her voice.
“Yep. Following my dreams.” Ruby bit her lip.
Yes, she was thrilled about the chance to submit her work to galleries, but overall, she wasn’t feeling very fantastic. She couldn’t stop thinking about Adrian.
In a short time, the NY Creatives Media office would open again, and she would see him every single day. She still had no idea how she was going to get through that. Any time she tried to figure out a plan, the word MISTAKE flashed through her mind in neon lights, all caps. How many times did she need her guiding principle of why not have fun with this? to turn into oh shit for her to learn?
Don’t do anything you don’t want the whole office to know about. Except this time, she wasn’t so worried about other people knowing. James and Cristina definitely wouldn’t judge her, and her friends in the marketing department were more likely to respond with a round of high fives. No, the problem wasn’t what other people thought. The problem was this ache fo
r Adrian that wasn’t going away. She didn’t know what the hell to do with it.
“Are you going to tell me about your mystery Christmas vacation?” her mother asked.
“It was for work. A private assignment, so I can’t tell you about it.” That was the explanation Ruby had decided on. She’d rehearsed it enough so it sounded natural. Casual.
The line was quiet. Ruby turned to get a view of her rear in the mirror, making sure her panty line wasn’t showing, then grabbed her mascara.
“Ru?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you...do you think you’d consider coming home next year?”
Ruby froze, her mascara wand halfway to her eyes.
“It would mean a lot to your father.” Her mother hesitated, then added, “And to me. I’d love to see you at Christmas.”
Ruby could hear how hard it was for her mother to say this, to ask Ruby to do something for her, despite their pact, despite how many times she’d told Ruby do things for herself. No guilt, no regrets. But suddenly, she missed home. She missed her parents. It was a surprise, considering she’d spent a lot of time crafting excuses not to go home to Ohio and see them, but the truth was she ached for her family. It was more than a little imperfect, infinitely frustrating, but the only one she had.
She put down her mascara and made her way around her bed to the window. It was snowing outside, the kind of big, wet flakes they had in Ohio around this time.
“Yes, I can come home for Christmas next year,” she said softly. “Thanks for asking.”
Her mother sniffed, then cleared her throat. “I better let you go. You probably have plans for tonight. New Year’s Eve in New York City.”
Her mother’s voice was wistful, the way it always was when they talked about New York.
Pure Satisfaction--A Hot Holiday Romance Page 15