by Rick Scott
A river of guilt runs through me, but a twinge of defiance does, too. “Hey, I said I was sorry, okay? I can’t take back what I did. You think I enjoyed seeing you nearly get killed just now? Because you were pissed off about something I did?” The memory of seeing Mike get hit by that Guardian replays through my mind, and a hard lump forms in my throat. “I thought you were dead, man! But if you want to keep punishing me for something I—”
“Just shut up, all right!” He cuts me off and silence falls between us.
I don’t know how to feel right now. Angry, ashamed, relieved, guilty? All of them could apply. “Mike, I lied because I—”
“I’m not pissed off at you about that,” he cuts me off again. And then he speaks, but more calmly this time, his tone soft. “I’m more pissed off at myself.”
He goes quiet again and stares up at the midafternoon sky.
“What are you talking about?”
He releases a sigh and sits down on one of the blackened rocks. “Take a seat, man.”
I hesitate for a minute, but then he gives me a stare.
“Please?”
I release a sigh of my own and walk over to plop down on a rock next to him. “What?”
“I’ve had a long time to think about this while we were running here,” he says. “Yes. Me getting pissed off nearly got me killed. Nearly got us all killed. And I don’t like that. But that was my fault, not yours.”
Wow, I wasn’t expecting that from him. “So, you’re saying you’re really not mad that I kept all that stuff a secret?”
He releases a guffaw. “Of course I am, you idiot. But probably not for the reason you think.”
Now I’m really confused. I furrow my brows at him. “What?”
“Look, we’ve both been keeping secrets,” he says, turning to me. “I admit that. Heck, I’ve been the king of it these last couple years. And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re good at it, too. It’s pretty much in our DNA. And I guess I can understand why you did it. Honestly, I think you were right.”
“What?”
“I didn’t get mad because of what you did, Ryan.” He pauses, looking skyward in reflection. “Well, maybe initially I did, I guess. But I really got mad because you were right.”
This was a turn of events I didn’t expect. “Right about what?”
“About how I would have reacted,” he says. “I would have done exactly what you said. I would have told Val that we’ve got higher priorities and gone down to check out that mine. And in hindsight, it probably would have been the wrong call.”
I wonder if he’s just saying this to make me feel better or something. “You really think so?”
“I’ve been to the surface four times now,” Maxis says. “And I haven’t been able to save anyone. If we have a shot at saving Val’s sister, then we should take it. Like you said, she could have minutes left to survive. We’ve still got six months to try to save everyone else.” He looks at me again and frowns. “Which I still don’t have any clue how to do, by the way.”
For the first time, I see my brother look dejected and unsure. He’s always so full of confidence that I guess I kind of take for granted that he just always knows what he’s doing. I never considered that maybe it was more bravado than self-assurance. “I’m pretty sure everything I discovered will help with that,” I say, patting him on the shoulder. “Once this is over, we can all sit down and puzzle it out together. That’s what I’ve been itching to do, too, honestly. I just didn’t want it to distract us from what we need to do for Val.”
Maxis lets out a chuckle. “Yeah, I get that.” He looks at me with a squint in his eyes. “You got good instincts, Ryan. Judgment, too. Something I don’t, apparently.”
He kicks at the black shale, looking disgusted.
“Hey, don’t say that.”
“Nah, it’s true, man,” he says. “You’re like Mom. You think things through. Weigh the options and consequences. Use wisdom. Make good calls. Me? I’m just a stupid, hot-headed punk who reacts with my gut. It’s no wonder I’ve been out here, failing all this time. Filling up on nano just to go back empty-handed each run. I got no idea how to figure this stuff out.”
Whoa, I never expected my brother to say something like that! I feel a warmth grow between us as he actually opens up to me. Not just as an older brother, but as an equal, someone he can talk with on the same level now.
“Back when we were in Stormwall, I did the exact same thing,” he laments. “I’ve been so caught up in this us-versus-the-AIs crap that I didn’t even consider how much of a prick that guy Braxus could turn out to be. I let my prejudice blind me, expected him to just get onboard because he was human. And we paid the price for it.”
I think back to the whole Braxus situation and a sickness gnaws at my gut. “Hey, you’re not the only one who made mistakes.” I think of Diana and my promise to her. “We still need to do something about that guy, too. I promised Diana I would.”
Maxis releases a scoff. “Another one I misjudged. Who’d have thought an AI could be more decent than a human being?”
I stay quiet as we both digest that one.
“Hey, it’s not your fault, man,” I say eventually. “You failing out here, I mean. You’ve been going at this pretty much alone. Maybe all of this happened for a reason? Maybe we’re all here so we can help you?”
He shakes his head a little. “I don’t know. Gilly’s dad puts so much faith in me, but sometimes, I wonder if I’m really the guy for the job.”
“Are you kidding me, man?” I balk at him. “After seeing you take on that Guardian, there’s no doubt!”
He just shrugs.
“Yo!” I slug him hard, but playfully, in the shoulder. “Stop with that defeatist BS, man. You’re, like, the coolest, most badass guy I know. Honestly. And I’m not just saying that because you’re my brother.”
He laughs, rubbing his shoulder. “Yeah, whatever, man.”
“Seriously. You’ve got what it takes, Mike,” I tell him honestly. “You just need a new perspective. Maybe what I found can provide you with that. We’ll find Citadel. We’ll save everyone. We’ll save Mom. And we’ll do it together.”
He chuckles and gives me a nod. “All right. Together.”
“Plus, you’re dating one of the coolest, hottest chicks I know—besides Gilly, of course.” I give him a grin. “That’s got to count for something.”
That gets another laugh that we both share.
“Thanks, Ryan,” he says, and extends his hand. “For everything.”
I clasp it, and we embrace in a hug. “No worries, man.”
“I love you, bro.”
“I love you, too.”
We pull away with a laugh, and I can already feel an even stronger bond growing between us.
“I do wonder how you kept coming back here so many times in a row, though,” I say. “After seeing that Omega, I would have called it quits for good!”
He just laughs again.
The thought does remind me of something else, though. Something I’d wanted to ask Mike before, but I’d have to reveal another secret to do it.
“Hey, I never told you, but . . .” I say, lowering my tone to become serious again. “Back in the hab, I followed you one night. To your meeting with Gilly’s dad.”
He blinks at me with surprise. “What?”
“Yeah . . . sorry. It was after I fixed my legs. I wanted to see where you were going every night.”
He stares at me, perplexed, until eventually he shakes his head and chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. Ancient history now.”
I take that as my all-clear to ask my question.
“I remember Gilly’s dad saying something to you that night.” I try to recall the conversation in as much detail as possible. “Something like, you’ve got other reasons for coming here? What did he mean by that?”
My brother squints his eyes, but looks away. “I don’t really remember.”
Did he not remember? Or does he
just not want to say? “He said you had more reasons to come to the surface besides just saving Mom.”
My brother continues to look away, but his eyes glisten.
He’s holding something back. But what? “Come on, man. You can’t seriously be keeping more secrets. What happened to all that crap we said just now?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know if I should . . .”
“What?” I stand up, frustrated. “Come on, Mike!”
He looks up at me. “Look, some things aren’t good to know, okay?”
I match his gaze. “If you meant what you said about me just now, then trust that I can handle whatever it is you have to say. If it’s a burden, then let me bear it with you. That’s what I’m here for. I’m your brother, man.”
Mike looks away for a moment more, contemplating it, and then lets out a sigh. “All right, bro. One last secret, I guess.” He turns back to me and says, “You heard right, Ryan. Even after we save Mom and Citadel, I’d still come back out here, because saving them is not the main reason I come to the surface.”
“What?” My heart beats faster as I ask, afraid of the answer, “Then why? Why are you here?”
Maxis looks away from me, out into the darkness of the wild.
“Because I think Dad’s still out here.”
Chapter 39: House Call
Bruce Peters rapped on the hatch of the habitat and took a healthy step back from the front door. He’d sent a message that he was coming, but purposely hadn’t called to ensure that Gina Roberts wouldn’t shoot him down over the comm.
Anxiety built within his gut as he waited for the door to be answered. In his hands ,he clutched the small communication device that served as his excuse for paying her a visit—a small, plastic cylinder no bigger than a pen top, which would relay the vitals of Mike and Ryan Roberts directly to their mother.
If she accepted it.
A bang from behind the hatch caused Bruce’s heart to race. He cleared his throat and put on his practiced politician’s smile. He almost thought against it. This woman smelled bull crap a mile away, and that smile was full of it. But it was too late to drop it when Gina Roberts finally opened the hatch and stood behind the door.
“Yes?” she said. Gina’s deep blue eyes were still fiery, and Bruce could feel every ounce of her disdain.
“I, ah . . . thanks for allowing me to stop by,” Bruce said, still unable to drop that stupid smile. He fumbled with the comm device and held it out toward her. “I wanted to give you this. Personally.”
Her eyes relaxed a bit with interest, but then squinted with suspicion. “What is it?”
“A monitoring device,” he said. “I’ve had your sons’ vital readings relayed to it. They update in real time. If their conditions change, it’ll alarm.”
Gina frowned. “And should I be worried about that happening?”
Damn, this woman really knew how to make him squirm. “It’s a . . . precaution. I just thought you’d want to know as soon as possible.” He then added quickly, “If anything were to occur, that is.”
She looked at the device in his hand a moment more, and then took it from him. “Thank you.”
Gina Roberts turned her back, and the hatch began to close. Shame and impotence crept up Bruce’s spine like a serpent made of ice. He wanted to say more. Do more. But what could he say . . . aside from revealing everything?
“I . . . I remember your husband,” he blurted out, and the door stopped.
She didn’t say anything, but Gina Roberts looked back at him through the crack in the door with those accusing blue eyes.
“He was a good man,” Bruce said. “Skilled and selfless. It was an honor for me to have known him.”
“Did you do some research?” Gina said.
Bruce furrowed his brows together. “I’m sorry?”
“You barely knew him before, when I asked. I’m guessing you had time to jog your memory?”
Bruce laughed. “To be completely honest, I . . .” Bruce caught himself and paused. Should he say more? He sighed inwardly. They could all be dead in six months, anyway. What did it matter? He dropped the smile and spoke soberly. “Honestly . . . there are times I wish I could forget him . . .”
Her gaze softened, perhaps realizing the gravity of the admission he’d just made.
She looked down to the floor for a moment, and then back up at him. “Would you like to come inside for some tea?”
Bruce Peters put on a smile, a real one this time. “Yes. I think I’d like that very much.”
* * *
My mind is awash in a turmoil of emotions. My father. A man I never knew—never had a hope to know—is alive? I say it out loud, just to make sure I’m thinking straight. “Dad’s here on the surface? Alive?”
“Might be,” Maxis stresses. “Emphasis on might.”
I spin in a circle, my hands atop my head, kicking black shale everywhere. I can’t believe this. “What the heck, man? Are you serious? How? Does Mom know?”
“Take it easy.” Maxis pumps his palms toward me in a slow-down gesture. “See? This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Are you crazy, man?” I still can’t believe this. “Dad’s here on the surface, and you weren’t going to tell me?”
“I said I think he might be here. And if he is, I don’t know where to find him.” Maxis frowns a little. “Not yet. He might as well be Citadel, with as much luck as I’ve had looking for him.”
“But how do you even know it’s a possibility?” I ask, sitting down next to him again. My mind is racing, and I can barely keep still. My dad . . . holy crap! My DAD!
Maxis sighs. “Because his body is still stuck in stasis back home.”
My heart thunders in my chest. “And Mom doesn’t know this?”
“No. They keep all this stuff a secret. Even from the family. Like I said, keeping secrets is in our DNA. Dad never told Mom a thing.”
“Holy cow . . .” I’ve seen images and videos of my dad. Mike resembles him a lot, except for the eyes. Dad’s were brown. We got our crystal blues from Mom, I guess. Still, I can imagine him heading out of the hab in secret, much like Mike did. It’s no wonder Mom was always so worried about Mike. He was probably giving her flashbacks! “So, Dad was a Shard Warrior, like us, then?”
“One of the best, according to Gilly’s old man.” Maxis folds him arms. “They did it different back then, though. I don’t think they used the Shards like we do, with the world bosses granting access and stuff.”
“No?”
“Dennis added that, I think. To make the most of the limited transmission times and nano, to make sure whoever we sent was the best. But I think, back in Dad’s day, they used to just train on the games and then get sent out for real. No restrictions. They still had to beat an AI to make the interface, but no fake world boss stuff. The people who were sent knew what they were getting into. And were prepared for it.”
“Man . . . how do you even know this stuff, Mike?”
He shrugs. “I won a PvP tournament. Got sent here. Survived somehow. And then, when I got back, I woke up in stasis and was basically recruited by Bruce.”
“And Mom didn’t notice?”
He chuckles. “You didn’t, either. I was always out of the house, remember? Mom just figured I was shacking up with some chick. And I wasn’t ever gone for long. A couple days, tops.”
“But I thought the world bosses only spawned once a month?”
“They do, but the PvP match sets the primer code, remember? Some team must have defeated a world boss right after I entered. So as soon as I got the permission to log out, I was gone.”
“Wow,” I say. “That must have been crazy scary for you the first time.”
Maxis eases back on the rock, his hands behind his head. “You don’t even want to know, man. But after that, I got ‘debriefed’ by Bruce. He explained who he was, and then he told me all about Dad. It’s been my mission to find him ever since.”
“Holy crap . . .”
I can’t believe it. “Does Bruce think Dad’s alive, too?”
“I don’t know. Bruce said Dad’s in some kind of really deep, coma-like state, more so than just normal stasis. He doesn’t know what to make of it. Only seen it happen a couple of times. He said that, after a year, they made his death official and told Mom. I think you were only two or three at the time.”
I nod, almost wishing that I could remember back that far. “His condition hasn’t changed in all that time?”
“Fifteen years, man,” Maxis says, shaking his head. “No change.”
A sinking feeling hits my stomach. “You don’t think that he might never come back, do you?”
“That’s why I said, might. It’s why we can’t ever tell Mom about this, either. Not unless we actually find him . . . alive.” He looks at me sternly. “She’s already lost Dad once, grieved for him and all of that, understand? Opening this up would be more than cruel. It’ll send her off the deep end.”
“I can understand that,” I say. “But don’t you think that maybe it might give her hope, too?”
Maxis frowns. “Hope can be a dangerous thing. It’s what caused her to get sick in the first place.”
My eyes go wide. “What are you talking about?”
“Another story I probably shouldn’t tell you, but since we’re clearing the air . . . like I said, they did things different back then. In the old, old days, Bruce said they used to send people out physically. In suits and stuff. When Dad went on his excursions, that’s what they told Mom, and everyone else, was happening. That they were on scouting missions to the old world. But in reality, they were in stasis, being beamed and printed in nano-form. Just like us.
“When Dad didn’t come back, they said he went missing during an excursion on the surface. Which, technically, wasn’t a lie, when you think about it, but to Mom, it meant something completely different. After a few months of them telling her that they couldn’t find him, she decided to take matters into her own hands.”
“What did she do?”
Maxis chuckles. “You know Mom. She used her maintenance access to get to the top of the hub and went outside through a vent shaft to go look for him herself.”